"Quand j'ai froid elle se fait lumière, comme un soleil dans l'existence."

Kendji Girac_French Singer

Norabel 

"We just got here and you're leaving already?" I try to keep my voice leveled to not come off as a crybaby. 

Mom walks the distance separating us from the doorframe of the guest room and comes to sit on the bed where one of my two suitcases is still unpacked.

"I'm sorry darling. But my name's on the list, I have to go. Also, this might be a subtle way for my supervisor to tell me they're not happy with the fact that I missed three days of work."

I swallow back the objection hovering on the tip of my tongue. We arrived at Jasmine's house barely fifteen minutes ago and were just settling in our assigned bedrooms when Mom received a call from work. Her department is dispatching some employees in the commune of Arcahaie to run a short awareness campaign on breast cancer and my mother's name is figured on the list.

"How long will you be gone?" I ask.

"They said it's only for two weeks, but you know given the conjuncture there might be some unforeseen events."

There's a high probability that these "unforeseen events" might include the fact that bandits can choose to block the passage at any given moment. She might be stuck in Arcahaie unable to make it back safely to the capital.

As if sensing where my mind is going, my mother tries to reassure me. "Some NGO members from the U.S. will be part of the trip as well and we'll have security with us. It's going to be okay Norabel."

"Except that having white people tagging along will make you guys a target. You seem to forget about those seventeen American missionaries who got kidnapped. There were children and a baby in that group Mom, these criminals aren't scared of–"

"Norabel that's enough," my mother's firm tone shuts me up immediately. There's a chill moment of silence during which she seems to be debating what to say to me then her expression softens. "I'm well aware of the risks but I can't bail on this on the pretext that something bad might happen."

My shoulders deflate as I exhale slowly to let out some of my frustration. "I'm sorry Mom, you're right."

She brings me against her in a tight hug and her chin comes to rest on top of my head. In that moment I don't feel like the twenty-two years old that I am but rather like a toddler afraid of being separated from her mom.

"You'll barely have the time to notice that I'm gone," she says softly. "Besides Jasmine is very warm, she'll do her best to keep you entertained. It's also great that her son is here you'll have someone close to your age to keep you company."

I offer a non-committal sound as a response. When we break out of our embrace she goes back to her guest room to finish packing the backpack that she'll take on the trip with her. By the time it takes me to hang my clothes in the closet, my mother's taxi has arrived. It will take Mom to her workplace where the bus rented by the office will take the selected employees and the NGO members to their destination in Arcahaie.

I walk my mother to the front gates and we exchange one last hug before she hands me her car keys.

"You can use it while I'm gone but if there's a new wave of fuel shortage I don't want you to wait in line for hours in a gas station. Use public transport. And under any circumstances do not buy gasoline from vendors in the street."

"Don't worry Mom, I don't want to risk driving a car with counterfeit gas either."

She lifts her hand to gently ruffle the wavy strands of my wash and go dangling over my forehead. Today I completed my hairstyle with a beautiful headwrap, tied in the middle of my head like a red bouquet. The silk tissue with yellow patterns is pretty gorgeous. Thank God for black women making headwrap tutorials on social media. I could never pull this off on my own. 

"Take care of my hair while I'm gone," Mom says with an easy smile that I return immediately.

It's always been an inside joke between us. I'm obsessed with hair whereas she can't stand letting hers grow. Mom always keeps her natural hair in short haircuts that hit the sweet spot between classy and hot. Her current style is a curly pixie cut and she rocks it.

"I love you too Mom," I answer then I watch her get inside her taxi before going back into the house.

To my surprise when I return inside I find Jasmine's son seated on the couch in the living room. He has the TV on a channel airing a political debate show but his attention is directed on the laptop in his lap. There are also many newspapers spread on the glass table in front of him, some articles are circled in red and there's a notebook opened a page filled with what looks like hastily scribbled bullet points.

I'm debating whether or not I should head to the guest room without speaking to him when he turns around. His eyes land right where I stand.

"Has your mother left?" He asks. I can tell his attempt at striking up a conversation is simply to be polite because she said goodbye to him before she left.

"Yeah, she did."

Awkward silence.

"Do you need any help getting settled in your bedroom?"

"It's okay, I got it."

"Alright. Feel free to serve yourself from anything that's in the fridge. When my mother comes back from the orphanage she will start preparing dinner."

"Thank you," I say and before another awkward silence imposes itself I add, "I'll go finish unpacking."

He nods and I make my way to the staircase. Mother and I only took the necessary clothes, my school materials, and her important documents from work. Most of our stuff remained in our house. Mom said that when she finds a place to rent she'll plan to go back and get what we left but we both know that coming back to Croix-des-bouquets is unlikely. I've heard of people who abandoned their houses with everything inside and weren't able to come back. When the gang members are suspicious that a house is vacant they either ransack it or just boldly take possession of it.

I try to push those negative thoughts out of my head and put my belongings in various places in the guest room. I'm carrying a stack of school-related textbooks in my hands when my agenda slips out and falls open on the floor. I put my load on the shelves next to my nightstand and go pick up my agenda.

My eyes fall on the July calendar and the dates I've highlighted as a milestone to track my progress on my thesis. At the bottom of the page, there's also a to-do list of eight tasks to get done this week. My mouth hangs wide open when I notice the important task for today that I completely forgot about.

Live webinar for the foreign internship program, 1:30 PM EST.

I quickly grab my phone from the bed to check the time. Thankfully I still have twenty minutes left before it starts. I grab and take my laptop out of the suitcase with its charger. After it's connected, I power it on and then leave it on the bed to go downstairs.

Jasmine's son is still on the couch when I walk into the living room.

"Excuse me, Ethan?"

His attention turns to me, "Is everything okay?"

"Yes, I just need the Wi-Fi password please."

His eyes become apologetic when he answers, "I'll give it to you but my mother's monthly subscription ended yesterday. I'll have to go renew it tomorrow."

My face falls as the reality of what he just said dawns upon me. Since my mother knew I'd have Wi-Fi at Jasmine's house she left with her modem. I don't have enough data on my phone to attend the webinar.

"Do you have something urgent to do?" Ethan asks probably noticing that I'm going through a mental crisis.

"Extremely urgent," I stress out the words in the hope that he understands. "I need to join a live webinar in a few. I can't miss this. I have to find a place that's close with a stable Wi-Fi connection and not too much ambient noise either."

He seems to think for a moment then answers, "There's a bookshop nearby that'll be the perfect place. It's not open on Sundays but if I'm with you they'll let you in."

I hesitate as my eyes travel to his paperwork. Ethan seems busy and I don't want to inconvenience him on my first day here.

"Are you sure it's not a problem for you?"

He's already standing up and turns off the TV. "It's alright. I can finish what I'm doing later. But we'll have to walk a bit if you don't mind. Unfortunately, I can't drive right now."

"My mom left me her car keys, I can drive us there."

"Great, let's go then."

I go back upstairs to grab my laptop and a tote bag. My mind briefly wonders about what Ethan meant when he said that he can't drive right now. I suddenly remember that the day Jasmine picked me up from uni she told me that her son was admitted to the hospital. If he's injured that would explain why he's unable to drive. He looked physically well though.

Once we hit the road, Ethan instructs me to drive straight ahead until I come to an intersection where I'll turn left. I'm debating whether I should try and make small talk when he breaks the silence.

"You and your mother seem very close," Ethan says. I'm surprised that he realized that when he just met us.

"Is it that obvious?"

"Maybe not, but because my mother and I are pretty tight I guess it's easy for me to notice."

"Well it's been me and my mom for the majority of my life, that's probably why our complicity transpires in our bond."

From the corner of my eye,s I see him nod in understanding.

"I see. It'll probably be difficult for the both of you when you will have to leave her side."

Something in his voice tells me that he can relate to that.

"Is that why you haven't left Jasmine yet? It's too hard?"

He gives a light chuckle at my question.

"I left the parental home a while ago, back when I was freshly out of journalism school. I'm only staying here now because..." he trails off before adding, "I got in an accident recently so my mother has been anxious about me being away. But I'll probably go back to my apartment once I have to return to work."

I still remember how tired Jasmine looked that day she drove me home. She had to go back to her son right after at the hospital. I want to ask Ethan what kind of accident he got into but something about the way he hesitated when speaking about it makes me realize that this might be a sour topic so I keep my curiosity in check. I decide to trade for a harmless question.

"What about your father, are you close to him?"

"My father's dead."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

The conversation dies out. He only speaks again to instruct me where I should turn. When we arrive at the bookshop I turn off the engine. Ethan tells me to remain in the car while he goes to speak with the person who will let us in. I take the opportunity to check out my phone and notice that Keisha has left me two new messages.

Let me know when you've arrived xx

Have you settled in? Hope everything went well!

Instead of texting her back, I decide to call. She answers right away.

"What took you so long to get in touch? I was starting to get worried."

I can't help smiling. Sometimes my best friend acts like a second mother.

"I'm sorry Kish, even if I left most of my stuff behind there was still a lot of unpacking to do."

I give her a quick update about my mom having to leave for Arcahaie.

"Jasmine wasn't home when we arrived but her son helped us get settled," I finish the recount of our move-in. 

"She left her kid alone at home?" Keisha asks puzzled. 

I'm momentarily confused until I realize that she must think Ethan is a child.

"Ethan is not a kid," I tell her. "He's even older than us. Already graduated from uni, with a job and everything. He's staying with Jasmine for a short time before going back to his place."

"Oh, is that so?"

Keisha's voice takes a weird intonation and I know my best friend well enough to sense that her mind is already going strange places.

"Whatever you're thinking Keisha please don't."

"Is he hot?"

Sweet Jesus! That girl's brain won't rest until I'm dating again.

"I gotta go, Kish, talk to you later."

"Wait hold on–"

I hang up just in time as I see Ethan walks toward the car. He opens the passenger door and leans inside.

"You can come in, we have one hour. Will that be enough?"

"More than enough," I answer gratefully. "Thank you so much."

For the first since I've met him a charming smile stretches his lips.

"Don't mention it. We'll be living together for the next few days so it's normal to look out for each other."

For some reason, the words "living together" linger in the back of my mind as I follow Ethan inside the bookshop. We're not going to be living together. My mom and I are staying at his mother's house. That's not the same thing.

And yet, we'll still be sharing the same space.

Whatever. I'll just mind my business. It's not like I have to interact with him just because we live in the same house. We don't know each other and I intend to keep it that way.

***Chapter Endnotes***

"When I'm cold she becomes light, like a sun in existence." Lyrics from the song "Les beaux yeux de la mama" by Kendji Girac released in 2015.