I want to start a day with peace of mind.

No worries.

No pains.

No fears.

I want a normal life. Or maybe this is what normal now a days.

But I want a life I have before. When I was first in love with Jesus.

The feeling is very different. The feeling is so comfortable. I don't have fears and I can live a happy life that Jesus has brought to me.

I miss those days.

Not like who I am today. I have overcomed by so many worries. I have feared so much about everything in my life. And Insomia attack me every night.

Maybe they are right. I should stop pity myself. I shouldn't be affected by things that I already experienced in the past.

I should believe in the new life that Jesus gave me.

I should stop being blinded by the unfair treatment of people. By unjustices and unprofessional living of people around me. Because everybody has flows. Everybody commit mistakes.

I should not listen to people who says I am a failure. I shouln't believe those who says I can't. I should trust myself more. Especially God. He is the only One who will not fail us.

I should count my blessings. I should treasure people who loves me through my imperfections. I should listen to people who believes I can be a person I wanted to be.

I should stop comparing myself to others. I shouldn't absorb new wounds because I already had enough. But pray for God to heal them.

Maybe, my life is so dramatic. I am only the one who think I should live this way. And don't know how to advise myself to live in another way. In God's way.

I want freedom. I want to free!! I want to live joyfully. I want to color my life. I want to wake up in God's presence and love. I want to feel only God's love. I want to be concern only on God's will. I want to devote my life to Him.

Please, help me Lord.