"Vic" I say, my voice fracturing into pieces.

"Hello Lara, hello Iron" Vicarius hisses back.

"Vic what are you doing with that letter?" 

"You never caught on did you Lara?" Vicarius grins, tapping the letter into his palm.

I can clearly see my name scripted in the elegant caligraphy. My body stiffens and I clench my fists. Another betrayal; I'm not sure how many more I can deal with. Is Vicarius truly the messenger of my own personal hell?

"What is going on?" Iron questions.

"Vic" I whisper desperately. "Was it really you?"

Vicarius smirks at me. The messenger has been beneath my nose since I got here. 

"You said she wouldn't be back in this compartment for another few days?" Vicarius growls at Iron, inclining his head towards me.

As I glance in horror towards Vicarius, my eyes pick up on the tiny details of his anatomy. He seems so familiar; it is as if I had seen him before joining the Sicarii.

"She awakened earlier than we predicted" Iron shrugs. 

Slowly Vicarius rests the letter on the bed, turning his back for one second. Air rushes into my lungs and I gasp gratefully as I'm discharged from the aslyum of his darkening eyes. When he faces Iron and I once more, they seem to glow within the plaster of his face; I cower back. The only other people I have seen with eyes so terrifying are....

"Of course she did" Vicarius says, his voice brimming with bitterness. "Because she can never harmonise with the plans of everyone else; she always has to botch everything"

I squint my eyes in disbelief. 

"Vicarius that is a little unreasonable" Iron steps forward; taking both his body and impending conniption with him.

Before either Vicarius or Iron have the opportunity to interject once more, I hear my own voice ringing around the walls of the compartment.

"Vicarius, you're a Torpen"

A moments silence reverberates through the walls. Yet the silence are the screams of warning; advising I put as much distance between Vicarius and myself. My resolution to run is shattered by the betraying shakes of my body.

"An unfathomable answer Lara, where is your proof?" Vicarius spits.

I lunge forward, using my instincts to claw my way to Vicarius. Yet he doesn't move, instead his raven eyes glint dangerously; challenging me to come closer. I growl in fury as I feel Iron's arms lock around my waist. 

"Lara stop it" He commands. "You're being irrational"

"Iron let me go" I snarl.

"She's crazy Achilles, I wouldn't" Vicarius chuckles, folding his arms over his chest.

I glare murderously at him. A Torpen and a liar; what a strange combination. I scowl more furiously at my sarcastic thoughts.

"Lara, how could you think such a thing? It is disrespectful towards Vicarius" Iron says. His tone is horrified as his facial expression and he tightens his grip around my waist.

My heart sinks; he believes Vicarius. I twist and writh within his hold to face him. His arms robotically drop to his sides.

"Iron listen to me. I've been receiving blackmailing letters since I arrived here from the Sicarii. I kept wondering how they would get in to my room seeing as you would have to be both a Warrior and a member of the Sicarii-"

"Lara that is enough" Iron says sternly.

My eyes prick with the unwelcome tears.

"Iron can't you see? He had the letter right in his hands" My calm and collected front breaks down.

Iron shakes his head. As I gaze at him, I detect...pity within his eyes?

"Iron, listen to me. The evidence is all here" I beg desperately.

"Lara, you need to apologise to Vicarius for such accusations. You know it is not in our nature to lie and to decieve" Iron instructs. 

"Iron I'm telling the truth. I fell in love with a Torpen if you remember?" I state, wiping at my hot tears. I must appear sane if I want him to listen to me.

"I remember how Jared's eyes changed colours, how he hid things from me, how his mood changed so dramatically and how his skin was as cold as the artic wind"

"Have you touched Vicarius' skin?"

"Yes; it is a cold as ice" I reply, recalling the many times Vicarius has helped me when I've stumbled.

The clearing of a throat has both Iron and I focusing our attention upon Vicarius. He looks somewhat amused, though for what reason I do not know?

"If you two are finished, I should like to interject" Vicarius says slowly. 

Both Iron and I, turn slowly to face him.

"Though I must say, the eternal loyalty is very impressive Achilles, it irritates me. You are like an annoying puppy; too faithful and too blinded to see the truth. As for you Lara, you could not be more vexing if you tried"

"What are you talking about Vicarius?" I snarl.

"I'm talking about the fact that you have done nothing but whinge since you arrived at the compound about how hard it is to be without him yet you have not even tried to find Jared. You are pathetic" He spits.

"How-" 

"But you are smart Lara; smarter than I gave you credit for. You knew not to tell anyone about the letters and you were quite quick to realise I am the messenger"

"You're saying Lara's accusations are true Vic?" Iron asks, his mouth forms a horrified 'o' shape.

"Correct"

"Why are you telling us all of this?" Iron asks.

"Because I know you're not going to tell anyone about this Lara"

"How do you know that?" 

"Firstly, you hurt me, the Sicarii will hurt Jared and secondly, you would not want to hurt one of your own Lara?" Vicarius grins.

"One of my own?" I ask as my brow furrows.

"We are almost the same Lara. A few more days and it will become official" Vicarius replies.

"In no way are we almost the same"

"I think you will find we are" Vicarius smirks. "You know its true Lara. You've been losing control of your body, you've been lashing out at everyone and you even hurt your bestfriend"

My eyes widen in horror. How does he know?

"What?" Iron cries.

"Its true isn't it?" Vicarius grins. "You didn't stop the simulator despite the Dimidium begging you to. You thought you would exempt your revenge for her supposed betrayal; only she wasn't the messenger was she? You see, your Torpen instincts are taking over"

As Vicarius runs his tongue along his chapped lips, I feel the anger surge from deep within me. My eyes blur over as I lose sight of everything around me.

The last thing I feel are my hands making contact with skin that feels equally boreal to mine. 

Could Vicarius be right? Am I changing? This isn't possible, my soul would have to be extracted. Yet it is barely mine anymore; I gave it unreservedly to Jared and he did the same for me. 

 I have no time to dwell any further on the prospect of my soul as I hear a faint voice call out to me. The reedy timbre has me straining to hear. I'm desperate to soak in the melodious cry; the voice I've missed.

"Let go Lara, you'll kill him" Jared's voice commands faintly.

I listen to the words in my mind. I can't do anything until the haze of darkness clears from my head. I'm powerless until it disappears.

"Make it disappear"

"How?" I yell back.

"Make it disappear. Use him to find me" Jared's voice begins to fade; it retreats into the blackness.

It is my turn to follow it. I push through the darkness, enveloping myself in the cloud. I am not afraid; the mellow black has been my constant companion for the past few weeks. As I throw myself blindly into the middle of the lonely obscurity, my eyes detect spots of light. 

It happens slowly and then all at once. I'm hurled back into reality, holding the life of Vicarius within my fingers. My blurry vision becomes clear and the muted atmosphere is set to full blast. 

"Lara" Iron yells, desperately trying to pry my fingers off the thrashing Vicarius.

My narrowed eyes, blink suddenly.

"Let go Lara"

Shakily, I lessen the pressure I'm putting on Vicarius' neck. Iron wrenches me back immediately and Vicarius falls to the floor clutching at his inflamed crimson throat. As his body crumples on the floor, coughing and wheezing for air, I sink into Iron' body and stare miserably at my hands.

"You are just like me Lara" Vicarius half coughs.

I'm suddenly lowered to the floor and Iron's arms are removed from my waist. With a few determined strides and an aghast expression of horror displayed on Vicarius' face, Iron retracts his arm in the air and aims his fist at Vic. He never misses.

As Vicarius' head lolls back to fall on the floor, Iron spins around.

"Carlisle and the other heads of the STO will be here soon to take him away"

I begin to tremble and tears pool in my eyes. I almost killed him.

"Lara, you listen to me. You are nothing like Vicarius or any other Torpen. We will find Jared and everything will be alright"

"No it won't. I can feel it Iron; Vicarius is right" I whisper.

"You think you're becoming a Torpen?" Iron asks. I nod my head miserably.

"Lara, how is that even possible?" 

I shrug my shoulders. I trail my fingers along my forearm, noticing the cold, frozen temperature that feels like I have been playing with Jack Frost. 

"Lara, I must ask you something. I don't believe it considering it came from the mouth of a traitor but-" Iron pauses to move across the room and crouch down in front of me. "Did you not help Rena in the simulator even though she asked you? Because you thought she was the messenger?"

Iron shakes his head. "I'm sorry for even suggesting that. I didn't realise how ridiculous it sounded until I said it"

I cast my eyes towards the floor, causing my tears to spill out. Ally wasn't the apostate and I hurt her. Probably more than I will ever be able to apologise for.

"Yes" I sob. I bring my eyes to meet Iron.

"What?" He replies, his face stricken with shock.

"Yes, I did and I'm so sorry Iron" I cry.

He doesn't say anything. Instead I'm greeted with the cold and unforgiving of his hazel eyes. He sighs heavily and stands. The wordless silence causes my tears to flow even faster. I cling to his leg to try and stop his movements. 

I know if he walks out of the door of my compartment, he will walk away with our friendship.

"I will request for a new sparring and battle partner" He says cruelly, shaking his head in disgust.

"Iron please, I'm so sorry" I beg, my eyes gazing beseechingly up at him.

"Do not come near Rena and I." He snarls, before turning on his heel and walking to the door. I stare in alarm as he figure reaches the entrance. He opens the door and slowly turns around with a look of contempt displayed upon his face.

"You are a disgrace to our species" 

I flinch at his malicious words and he slams the door shut, leaving me in the convicted jail cell; I am a prisoner to regret and misery. I hear Iron's retreating footsteps and the slam of the front door. I sit listlessly for a few minutes before surrendering myself to my grief and sob loudly.

What have I done?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 1 day, 6 tests, no results.

The familiar smell of cheap detergent and pungent odour of disinfectant is almost homely. It reminds me of previous memories of myself in a hospital bed. Only this time everything is different; no one voluntarily comes to see me. They either detest me or are to afraid to come near within ten metres of me. 

Can I blame them?

The solitary confinement is driving me to the point of madness. I'm wallowed in anguish and anger. I've heard no news of Vicarius; of Ally; of Iron. I hear the deadening chime of time for every second that passes; the stupefying rhythm only lowers my morale. 

1 day.

6 tests.

No results.

The 6 words are repeated over and over again in my head. Their jeering chants make me scream; they make me sob; they make me somber.

Zena, Carlisle, the other medics...none of them know whats happening to me. The rumours have flown around the compound that am I a danger. Nobody can find any explanations for my behaviour and appearances apart from the analysis that I am Vicarius' perception.

Carlisle believes Vicarius turned me, Zena thinks it is something to the Sicarii but I know it is to do with me; to do with Jared. Vicarius was right in his accusations and his idea of me. I have been pathetic; I have whinged but I know I need to change for both myself and for Jared.

I have a sudden desire to entwine my fingers within Jared's tousled hair and stroke his tanned forearms. I shake my head to remove these thoughts. I need to change.

The only way to destroy me is to abuse Jared and vice versa. It is the way the bond works. The Sicarii know that. Vicarius has probably been feeding them information of my behaviour, my reactions and attitude towards the letters, the STO and towards my life here.

I think back to all the people I have caused pain. To the little boy in the street, to Iron and most importantly to Ally. I-

"Lara" 

I push myself bolt upright. The soft call is no panicked nor scared but it still tugs at the strings of my heart.

"Jared?"

There is a silence before the voice speaks. It takes a breath for each syllable.

"La

   Ra

     Come

            Find

                 Me"

Within seconds, I have thrown the covers off of myself and leapt onto the cool tiled floor. I rip off the hospital gown and seize my lycra suit that lies limply on a chair. 

Jared is calling me and it is finally time to respond. I must go to him.

His words from yesterday ring clearly within my mind: "Use him to find me". 

Vicarius will be in one of the lower dungeon cells. On Carlisle's brief visit, he mentioned the penalty to be inflicted upon Vicarius; Death at sunrise. My eyes widen and search desperately for a clock. I let out a sigh of relief as the time displayed is only 2:30 am. This means I have a few hours.

I activate the control pad to slide open the door. As I peek my head around to see the empty corridor of the infirmary, I ponder of the impeniding implications of my mission. What if I can't find Jared? I will be killed.

But then again, hell couldn't be any worse than this and after my previous actions it is where I am headed.

A pang of guilt runs through me. What if this is the last time I walk through this infirmary? I cannot die with unresolved issues. 

So instead of running straight to the STO dungeons, I turn in the direction of compartment 22.