WARNING: If you have not watched through Season 3 of 9-1-1, don't read. There are spoilers! Otherwise, please enjoy.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Evan Buckley, who prefers to be called Buck, was finally back with the 118 after healing from his crushed leg and the whole blood clot issue. He had been back with his fire family for roughly a week, without much more than a couple of ER trips from being unaware of his surroundings and knicking himself on sharp windows and objects. The same could not be said for his mental state: he was suffering with nightmares about the tsunami and him losing Christopher, every time he closed his eyes. There were times he could feel the tension from his coworkers, as if they were expecting some sort of spontaneous combustion from him. He was also working himself into the ground to make up for the time he had been layed up.

He was working, yet another twenty-four hour shift, his fourth shift in a row. He legitimately felt like he was running on fumes, as he wasn't allowing himself to sleep while at work, to avoid his family seeing him wake up in a panic.
     
He listened to Chimney and Bobby talking loudly as everyone climbed out of the truck and ambulance, after the sixth call since shift started at six am. It was barely ten am, which told Buck they were in for a doozy of a day.

Eddie brushed past Buck, without sparing him a glance, earning a sad look from the younger man. As he watched the older man disappear into the firehouse, he sank back into his seat on the firetruck, too tired to climb out of and change out of his gear. He didn't know that Bobby had noticed the lack of his presence and shared a concerned look with Her and Chimney.
    
Bobby slipped out of his gear, before walking back to the firetruck in search of Buck. He opened the door beside Buck only to find that the 'kid' was asleep in a heap on the seat. He shook his head, of course, the younger man was asleep, he'd been working his ass off. He was about to leave Buck to sleep to sleep When he heard a whimper and witnessed a look of intense pain cross the sleeping man's face. He watched all the color drain from Buck's face, as another whimper escaped his lips.
  
"Hey, Buck, wake up, bud," Bobby said, as he reached over and shook the 'kid's' shoulder with a firm and gentle grasp. When the man in question didn't wake up, he shook his shoulder harder, earning a loud gasp as the younger man jerked up and off the seat, starting his captain and himself.

"Christopher?!" Buck yelled as he came to, before landing in a heap of man and gear on the rough firetruck floor.
  
"Easy, kid, you're at the station," Bobby said, trying to be reassuring. He wasn't aware that Eddie had come flying into the bay, when he heard his son's name yelled.
   
Eddie bolted out the the bay, his chest Leaving from the panic when he heard Christopher's name yelled. He folded his arms over his chest, once he was certain his son was sate and not at the actual station. He walked away in annoyance, shaking his head, not knowing that his reaction was witnessed by he silent Hen. "Buck…" Bobby started to say, before he was cut-off by the 'kid'.

"I know, I know. We are here," Buck said, moving to climb out of the firetruck, keeping his hands hidden in his sleeves to avoid anyone seeing how bad his hands were Shaking from the nightmare.
  
"Buck, when was the last time you slept for more than five minutes ?" Bobby tried again, earning a freaked out look from the man in question, before he hid his emotions again. It made him wonder how long Buck had been hiding how he truly felt, and when he had stopped paying attention to the man he thought of as a son.
  
"Um… yesterday after work," Buck lied, attempting a sheepish 'hand caught in the cookie jar' grin. He was trying so hard to project his normal self, he was unaware that Cap wasn't believing him for a second.
 
"Really? For how long?" Bobby persisted, watching Buck's still pale face, seeming to pale even more, which to the fire captain had no idea was possible.
  
"Uh… eight hours or so," Buck lied, looking down at his hands, before shoving them back into his pockets attempting once again to hide their trembling. He needed out of this conversation, so badly he was begging to whoever was listening to his mental pleas, for the bell to ring.

"Eight hours?" Bobby asked in surprise, but couldn't pursue it further because the bell rang signaling a new emergency.

"Stay behind, Buck, and get some sleep. You look dead on your feet." Bobby ordered, as the rest of the team got suited up and onto the firetruck and ambulance.

"I can sleep in the truck, that way if you need me, I am already there." Buck offered, even though deep down he knew he wouldn't be falling asleep in front of the team.

Bobby shook his head, before climbing aboard himself. "Go sleep, Buck, you need it," he said again, making it clear with a brief disapproving look on his face.

Buck sighed in resignation, backing out of the firetruck and away from the truck as they pulled out of the bay in a rush. He watched them disappear from view, before trudging over to remove his gear, as his body ached from lack of sleep and falling in the truck.

Once he was unburdened, he walked wearily upstairs to the bunk room and collapsed onto one of the beds deeper inside. He closed his eyes, feeling a wave of dread wash over him, as sleep overtook him, within moments he was back at the pier moments before the tsunami hit.

Unbeknownst to the exhausted man, Bobby had requested Eddie to stay behind, in case Buck needed help. He had seen the annoyed look on Eddie's face at his request, however, the single father didn't argue and got out of the firetruck to walk a couple blocks back to the station. By the time he reached the station, Buck was nowhere to be seen.

Eddie slipped into the bay, changing out of his heavy gear, before going in search of the younger man. He checked every room before getting to the bunkroom last, and what he saw melted away any annoyance he was feeling.

Buck was curled in a tight ball, reliving his worst nightmare for the billionth time. He whimpered and groaned, calling out for Eddie's son Christopher, before sobs wracked his frame. He started tossing and turning, screaming himself hoarse, as his persistent terror would not stop.

Eddie watched in horror, as he saw how distraught the young firefighter was. He had seen Christopher have horrible nightmares too, but none of them came close to what Buck was experiencing. He couldn't listen to the younger man scream any longer. They were too close to the horrible screams Buck uttered when civilians and firefighters had to lift a full firetruck off his crushed leg. Those screams still haunted Eddie's worst nightmares.

He rushed to the sleeping man's side and shook his shoulders hand.

"Come on, Buck, wake up! " he said once, twice, and a third time, before Buck shot up with tears running down his face and his breathing coming in short, shallow gasps.

"Ch... Ch… Christopher!" Buck gasped out, tripping over the kid's name in his panic. "I'm sorry I lost him," he said in a broken and hoarse voice.

Eddie shook his head, as he wrapped the exhausted man in a tight hug. in an effort to comfort the terrified man. He had seen Buck go through hell and still smile, so seeing him breakdown into a million distraught pieces, was horrible to witness.

He could feel the younger man trembling in his arms, as he tried to soothe him. He held Buck in his arms until the man quieted, even if the trembling didn't stop.

"You okay?" he asked, after pulling away to check on the trembling man.

Buck shook his head, his bottom lip quivering, as he looked at his lap instead of meeting Eddie's gaze.

"I know Eddie's mad at me… I lost Chris, because I tried to save everyone and thought he was safer. I would hate me too, if I were Eddie; I failed so badly, I wouldn't want to see me either," he said in a devastated voice, his breathing hitching with each new insult to himself.

Eddie's eyes widened as he realized the damage his actions had been making. He never meant to hart Buck, he had been so wrapped up in his own issues to notice his best friend was 'drowning on dry land' right before his eyes.

"I don't… Buck, it's me; it's Eddie," He said frantically, noticing right away that Buck wasn't registering that it was him he was talking to. He used a gentle touch to lift the man's chin, hoping he would be noticed, but instead he was looked right through.

"I don't know what to do… I love him, not as family or friends, Eddie and Chris mean everything to me…" Buck admitted in a hoarse and exhausted voice.

Eddie froze as Buck's admission hit his ears and set his mind racing. He had no idea how to respond, and was relieved that Buck had no idea that he was talking to Eddie, much less admitting his true feelings towards the man and his son.

"Does Eddie know?" he asked, trying to not give away who he was.

Buck shook his head, looking absolutely miserable and about to pass out. "M tired," he mumbled, as his left hand ghosted over his eyes.

Eddie nodded slowly, before reaching out and putting the back of his hand against Buck's forehead. He frowned, as he felt an increase of heat radiating from the exhausted man. He wasn't surprised at all, when Buck leaned into his touch causing his heart to flutter differently in his chest.

"Lay down and sleep." He suggested, hoping Buck wouldn't fight him on going to sleep. Much to his dismay, the younger man shook his head, even as each blink was getting slower and slower.

"Christopher drowns, if I sleep." Buck mumbled, fighting the urge to sleep with every fiber of his being.

"No, he is alive and safe because of you." Eddie said firmly, hoping his words would resonate with the feverish man.

Back looked at Eddie, still not seeing who he was, his glazed eyes too fuzzy to comprehend the voice of the man he loved.

"I can't sleep alone," he admitted after a moment of blinking, almost too slow to keep awake.

Eddie raised his eyebrows, before he smiled and sat down on the bed scoot back, until his back was flush against the wall. Once situated, he patted his lap for the younger man to rest his head on his thigh(s). Before Buck could move, he reached behind his own back, pulling the pillow out and placed the pillow on his lap.

Buck watched the older man quizzically, as he tried to understand what was happening.

"What are you doing?" he asked, as puzzling this out was making his head pound.

"I'm getting comfortable, so you can sleep against my lap. That way you aren't alone, and I can wake you if you have another nightmare." Eddie said as if it was the most obvious answer in the entire world.

Buck blinked a couple of times, before laying down and resting his head on the pillow and snaking an arm under Eddie's legs, holding them in place. He snuggled deeper into the pillow, not realizing that he was burrowing deeper into Eddie's lap and being enveloped in his smell.

"Comfy?" Eddie asked with a chuckle, as he carded his fingers through Buck's short hair.

Buck nodded, humming softly under his breath as his whole body relaxed and he fell almost instantly asleep.

"Buck?" Eddie asked, feeling the man go still, and smirked when there was no answer. He pulled out his phone and text Bobby while he had a chance.

'Smart choice having me come back: he has a fever and doesn't even know who I am. He also thinks I'm pissed with him, and has been dreaming about failing me and about Chris drowning.' he sent. He waited a few moments before his phone buzzed in his hand.

'Hey, it's Hen on Bobby's phone. He said he's glad you're there. Try to let him sleep as much as he can, then when we get back, Chim or I or both will look him over!' she sent back in response.

Eddie responded with a thumbs up emoji, before settling back against the wall. He let his eyes drift closed, slipping into a light doze making sure to stay aware should Buck need to be woken and/or comforted. His hand drifted to Buck's back, settling there as a constant pressure and reminder that he was not alone.

They both slept soundly, until the team returned from putting out a two-alarm fire. The team got cleaned up, before searching for the two sleeping men. The sight they found warmed all their hearts.

Bobby took a quick picture and texted Athena, with the caption, 'I owe you dinner and a movie.' He also sent just the picture to Eddie.
‐------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hope you all enjoyed this part one. As always: vote, comment, and request away. Love you all! <3

P.S. I'm sorry for being so behind, I have over twenty different sickfics planned to write or already in the works.