I start having my food. The sounds of spoon hitting against the plates is echoing over the hall. Very light gossiping sound is spreaded over the area. I hope I don't have to do or face any type of stupid things from either of them. I  am avoiding any type of confrontations with Alex and things cannot end so pretty good with me. I am thinking about everything inside my head, when I feel something touch my leg. It takes me a few seconds to realise that it's him. I move my leg a little, when Alex brings his leg to rub against mine. I don't want to create any scene right now, so I just shift a little. After a few minutes I feel his hand tracing lines on my thigh.

He is pushing me. I need to control.

I ignore his touch and continue having my food. He starts tracing up my skin in an up and down motion..... goosebumps have started to form on my body. Fuck this. Why the fuck does my body respond to his touch??? 
I am losing my control. This cannot happen now.

That's when, he makes the wrong move. He moves his body towards me and brings his lips to my ears and whispers " need my fingers to touch you properly, love?" .

That's it. I lost my shit. I get up and take the plate i was having my food on and directly hit him on the head breaking the plate into two pieces. He screams from the pain and blood starts coming out from his head.

Good. I don't care even if I get suspended now.

I walk out of the hall and head my way to the room. Mr Franklin stops me at the staircase.

"What the hell Anna? What the hell is wrong with you? The last time you did a scene at the assembly, the teachers let you go thinking maybe they did something because the quietest girl can't be this violent. But today,what you did is wrong ! You could actually get a tc for this! " he half screams.

I don't care.

"Just like you said that there must be a reason for that day, the same way, there's a reason for today also? I hope you don't think me to be crazy?" I counter back at him, respect and obediency leaving my body with a finger snap.

I walk up to my room and close the door behind. I dim the lights and lie down on the bed.

I can't do this. I cannot. I am crying!!!! I know he is hurt! I hurt him. He was bleeding.
But ..I had to do this. I lost my patience. I lost everything for him. I lost my virginity!!!!!  He fucking took away something that was never meant to be his!!  Even after that, even after that I wanted to move away from him. I tried, not once or twice but repeatedly for countless times. He keeps on getting back to me. No one would say a single shit to him. Instead they would just , call me names I don't deserve. I am not a socialte. I was never into friendships let alone dating. He changed me. He!!! He changed me to something i myself cannot recognise at times.

The pillow is completely wet. I get up and wipe my face.
I have to get over this guilt feeling.

This cannot continue.