"What's wrong? What is going inside that little head of yours?" Ross asks in a playful tone patting me on the back.

"Nothing" I say and turn my face outside the window.

You aren't here to understand my situation Ross, I know you. You are just searching for an opportunity to get the weak point to break into between Alex and me and then get physically close to me.

I divert my mind from Ross and his attempts to my own world.

It's been 5 months since Riri spoke to me. She once used to brag about being my best friend.
I laugh.
The girl i was starting to trust my secrets with turned out to be the best backstabber. And what about the boy? What about the boy who everyone warned me about and yet I ended up here? What about the boy who never wanted to get committed from the very first day and yet i fought against his will to get along? At what cost did i merely have his name entangled with mine?
Everything. Every single thing. It cost me every single thing to get his name entangled with mine and yet .....yet i didn't have his soul to feel the slightest core affection towards me. I am like a scribble pad , he can nib on anytime and then tear the page off when he's done scribbling. He doesn't care about the marks of the remaining paper left behind when he is tearing off those pages.
I am tired of this cat and mice game. I am tired of this constant run. Who am I running from? And why? I don't have any answer to that. And why is he chasing me? Just to get laid? Just to enjoy me....being captured and used inside the four walls of the room? That's all? That's what he is chasing me for? He didn't have to showcase the word commitment for a purpose like this?

I roll back my head and my eyes flutter close when another drop rolls down.

I go back to the time i first met him.

18 months.

Was he really adorable before that? Or was it my perspective that made me weak?

I walked down the memory lane in search of the day I saw him first.

He entered the class in a red tshirt and a skin fit dark blue jeans, hair messed up , the silkiness of straight hair shining through. The silver strap of the watch fitting perfectly on his left wrist, the backpack loosely hanging from his shoulder. The half rim spectacles with black steel lining making a perfect stud appearence along with the other masculine features. He is 6'2 . The broad shoulders and the stoutness just added to the dripping hotness.

That's where I fell. I remember blushing and turning away feeling my cheeks warm up. Though Riri caught me off guard. She playfully patted me, afterall even the book nerd had to admire the dripping hotness of the stud.