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Flash back

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SU AH : So, what did you get for my birthday?

It was her first birthday from the time I knew her, but I was unaware of it being that day.

In anxiety, I was debating on what to do or how should I say that I didn't get her anything.

ME : One moment!

I barely said that and ran upstairs to my room to search for just anything but something.

There were tons of presents from Armys in my room but I couldn't pick any since they each one had an emotion set behind. I couldn't just give them away.

No matter how I searched, I couldn't get anything for a potentially gift her.
Opening the drawers in my table and while moving the things inside here and there- I stopped at a "lighter".

I took it in my hand.

ME : (-studying it-) A lighter? Why do I even have it?

SU AH : (-voice faintly reaching-) Where did you go? Kookie? It's alright, I was just saying anywa-

ME : (-shouts back-) In a second!

Although I knew it was of no use to her yet I decided with that and went out to the hall where she was waiting. I had nothing better to give her anyways.

ME : (-shoving it to her-) Here, happy birthday.

SU AH : (-takes it with a flustered smile-) Thank you.

I nervously scratched the back of my neck not sure if I really deserved her thank you.

SU AH : (-face lit up-) At first, I felt it was the weirdest present I have ever received but now that I think, it's actually very meaningful. This would light up my dark days. (-sad smile and controls her tears-) Thanks, Kookie!

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○ Present time

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{... She still has it?...but what is "Y.K" ?...}

She didn't notice me among the crowd and continued singing without a bother.

It was the first time I was seeing her after so long. As soon as she ended, a small part of my heart wanted to go and talk to her but I held it strong and turned around to leave.

ME : Kev, let's go.

KEIV YA : (-following me-) She is that Noona, isn't she?

I slightly nodded and continued walking.

KEIV YA : But, why are you avoiding her? Didn't you say you haven't seen her ever since that fight? Don't you wanna greet her atleast?

ME : No, I don't want to.

My eyes watered suddenly and I didn't know why but it hurt for some reason. She didn't say anything and we went in the elevator to go up to my floor.

I sniffed wiping my tears before she saw. Little did I know that, she had already seen them but only pretended ignorant.

KEIV YA : You still regret what happened that night, don't you?

I couldn't say anything.

KEIV YA : It's okay, blame it to the beers. If you were sober, you wouldn't have done that, right? I mean, people even fuck—whom they shouldn't— while they are drunk and you just kisse- no... you just had a small peck. So, it's nothing if you compare.

The vulgur words that she carelessly spoke in the corridor gained some eyes at us. I internally laughed while we walked through the corridor. Not gaining further attention, I replied after we reached the privacy of my room, where we often had our lunches together.

ME : But, I did hurt Hyung's feelings.

KEIV YA : Alright, I agree. But, you have already resented enough for your mistake. You have suffered yourself for too long. Now try to forgive yourself. You gotta start from freeing yourself of the guilt to get your Hyung's forgiveness.

ME : (-low spirited-) Will he really forgive me, though?

KEIV YA : Of course he will. He is the elder one and moreover he was wronged. So, you have to initiate it. Talk to him. Show him your sincerity. I am sure, he will find a way to understand you eventually.

She always sounded the words- effortlessly- that my heart unconsciously wanted to be told.

ME : (-smiles-) Thanks for saying that.

After having lunch, we heard a knock at my door before it slid open, revealing a smiling Hobi hyung.

They visited me according to their time preferences during the visiting hours or sometimes altogether.

KEIV YA : I should leave now. Take care.

ME : (-nodded-) You too.

Hobi hyung and she shared a formal "hi" before she left my room and hyung came in.

HOBI : Who was she?

ME : A friend of mine.

HOBI : Glad that you have someone to talk to when we aren't here.

I smiled in response.

ME : Oh right! How is Su San Noona? Is she doing alright?

HOBI : (-painful smile-) She must be.

His answer felt uncertain and I could feel something was off. But, before I could ask him, Jimin hyung came in with a fruit basket.

He came and kept it while I noticed Hobi hyung being uneasy.

HOBI : I-... (-getting our attention-) I will come in a minute.

He left with that and Jimin hyung, unaware of the situation, started to separate some fruits from the basket for me.

ME : Hyung.

JIMIN : (-not looking at me-) Onh?

ME : Is everything okay, between Susan Noona and Hobi hyung?

He stopped what he was doing and looked at me.

JIMIN : You didn't know, right? (-coming to me-) Kookie, don't stress too much. Actually... Su San Noona passed away while you were in the coma. It has been almost three weeks now.

ME : What! Why- wa- what happened?

JIMIN : It was a hospital malpractice. Hyung was of course, deeply saddened by it. He started taking drugs and never visited you since that day. He really had it rough.

ME : (-eyes watering-) I didn't even know~

JIMIN : (-keeping his hand on my shoulder-) It's okay. You're the only reason, he started to smile again and could sleep without his pills. You might not realize Kookie, but to us, you are very precious and mean more than you think you do.

But truthfully, I just unknowingly burned his fresh wound.

Jimin hyung dabbed my shoulder in a consoling gesture and went with the fruits to wash them.

Tears escaped my eyes thinking how hurt Hobi hyung must have been. We all knew how much he enamoured her.

In a few moments, Hobi hyung returned with a smile again but this time it had a hint of gloom that I could tell.

ME : Hyung~

HOBI : Onh, Where is Jimin? (-coming to me-)

ME : I am sorry.

HOBI : Why, what's wrong?

ME : I heard about Su San Noona. (-hugging him by his waist-) I am sorry, hyung.

HOBI : (-hugging me back-) Yah, why are you being sorry? It was just meant to happen. Don't worry, I am okay. (-caressing my back-) Besides, you helped me more than anyone or anything could. So thank you, Kook-ah. (-releasing the hug-)

ME : (-wiping my eyes-) Are you really okay?

HOBI : (-taking a seat while nodding-) Just get well soon for your hyung. Imm?

ME : (-nodding heavily-) I will!

We both smiled whilst Jimin hyung came back with the nicely washed fruits.

In blinks, Kev was discharged after a few more days leaving me all alone again. But, only her memories and smiling faces kept entertaining me even in her physical absense.

Besides, we talked through texts everyday.

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One month later

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Today, I was finally getting discharged from the hospital.

My leg was completely fine now and I could walk, the doctors suggested me to keep my leg muscles more in work to bring them back to their flexibility from the stiffness.

I sent my family back to Busan assuring them that I was fine and that hyungs were there to take me to the dorm.

All my hyungs were here to recieve me except, the count was five.

My eyes greedily searched only for him among the others. Suga hyung absent- my heart immediately sank at the realization.

However, I didn't show it on my face since I was grateful to others for coming.

HOBI : Let's go, someone's waiting for you in the dorm. (-big smile-)

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Who is it? ;)
Kev? Suga? PD?