Ship: Gerard/Patrick
Words: 388

I was feeling tired and numb and just kinda pissed with the world when I made this. Not part of the 38 day challenge

The pills were right there. On the counter. 30 of them. Light blue. Advil. Transparent. The sight of them made my blood rush through my veins and my fingers tense up as they rest on the surface.

Just put them all down. It'll hurt, but it'll be gone soon. You'll feel okay. You'll be gone.

Just a handful of pills is all it takes. Nobody has to know. By the time they're down, nobody can stop me. I'll be gone. I'll be dead. The pills will have already melted through my stomach.

It's going to be okay. Okay...

I scoop the pills into my hand, and raise them to my lips. I just have to swallow them down and it'll be okay.

They're in my mouth now. When did they get there? Down my throat? Into my stomach?

The water following soon after.

Time is going by so fast and I feel dizzy...

And there's a faint echo in the distance...

My name...

***

When my eyes open, just slightly, I hurt. Not a ton but enough to make me cringe and squint my eyes.

"Patrick? Oh my god."

I don't respond right away. I'm surprised that I'm not engulfed in dark, confused. Why am I in a hospital bed? Why am I hooked up to a heart monitor? Why is Gerard by my bed?

And then it hits.

And I scream.

"Patrick! Hey, calm down!" Gerard hushed beside me.

"It was supposed to work! I was supposed to die! It was supposed to go away!" I exclaim, my hands shaky and tears rising to my eyes.

"Patrick, Patrick, baby, shh." Gerard whispers, pulling me close as I cry into his shoulder, "I know it hurts. I know, shh..."

"No! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" I yell, crying, "Stop it..."

Gerard strokes my back gently and I eventually stop struggling. Going limp in his arms as he hugs.

"Shh... we're gonna help you get better. I promise. We're gonna fix you up, the pain is gonna go away, okay?"

I choke back another sob and nod, "Promise...?"

"Promise."

"How strong are your promises?"

"I have yet to break one."