Ryan's eyes are dark against the bright lights shining across the city. Reds and blues, whites and greens. He's so tired of them, it's too light out, his eyes are burning and he's exhausted. He isn't sure if it's from the tears falling down his cheeks or the city, though. Everything seems to weigh him down and he knows not even Patrick will come to his side. He doesn't know where Ryan goes when he wants to be alone, thank fuck. Nobody does, and he plans to keep it that way.

He ran away when everything was just becoming too much for him. They were so happy, it was too cheery. There's too much bullshit going through Ryan's mind for him to really feel okay with any of this. In a year, he'll be gone, in ten, he'll be forgotten. Maybe tonight will be the night that it'll all end. Maybe...

He looks down at the cliff he's sitting on. It's gotta be at least 100 feet down, maybe more. He would die if he jumped, if he even just fell, and it would be over with. Maybe if he tried as it is, he could get down, and he would go missing. They'd find him in a few months, dead with a snapped neck and broken bones. Maybe they wouldn't even find him and he'd be alone. Maybe it could be all over.

He stares back up at the lights, brilliant and bright. Snow's beginning to fall as well down to the ground. He feels it across his back and his head and his jeans. He's wearing a short sleeved shirt and a pair of jeans, maybe he'll die from hypothermia first.

He grits his teeth to stop from shivering as he pulls his knees to his chest and continues to stare, they're flickering and snow is falling atop already-milky white roofs. It's pretty, it really is, but it's too loud, too bright. It's too much for such a damaged soul on such an overwhelming night. It's too much and he's too far weighed down. It's too much. So much.

"Ryan."

The brunette stares, his mind going blank, his eyes shrinking and his entire body going stiff.

Patrick.

The crunching of snow nears the taller boy as the blond sits beside him, a coat across his shoulder and a cup of cocoa in his hand. Ryan turns his head to the boy,  eyes teary and heart racing.

"How did you find me?" He whispers.

"I followed you," Patrick replies with a warm smile as Ryan takes the cocoa and wraps the coat around himself, "I didn't want to bother you, though. I'm sorry about everything going on out there, are you doing okay?"

Ryan stares out at the city, he doesn't want to answer because he's doing horribly right now, he wants to die. He wants to forget about Christmas and just... he just wants to cuddle up in a bed and sleep the rest of his life away.

Patrick sighs and after a moment, pulls the brunette closer, shutting his eyes and kissing his forehead, "I love you, please don't leave me. I need you."

"I..." Ryan grits his teeth, more tears rising to his eyes as he nuzzles into Patrick's neck and lets out a broken sob, "I just wanna leave, I just wanna..."

"Shh," Patrick pulls him closer and kisses his forehead again, then his cheeks, and finally his lips. They stay like that for a while, their lips pressed together, Ryan just taking in Patrick's warmth and Patrick giving his boyfriend as much as he can.

Patrick's the first to pull back, and Ryan looks onto his eyes for a moment before scooting closer to his boyfriend and sipping on his hot chocolate again, Patrick wraps an arm around his shoulder, leaning his head against his shoulder and looking back out at the city lights, bright and twinkling.

"I love you, Ryan," Patrick whispers, "I'll never leave you, I swear."

Ryan wipes his tears away as he nods.

"I love you, too, Trick. Thank you so much."

"Anything for you, Ry."