"I'm writing the future
I'm writing it out, loud."

it was abuse at its core. that's what frank came to realize whenever gerard would force himself onto frank without even a nod of compliance or want. it was abuse that frank underwent when gerard came home drunk ranting about how disgusting the people in his life were. he'd always start screaming afterwards, yelling at frank about how he does nothing for them and gerard is the only one who does the work around the house.

frank was the one who paid the bills and fed the cat whenever gerard forgot, though, and maybe it was gerard simply being forgetful, but frank felt there was more to it.

it was abuse for a year and a half, frank decided as he sat at home one lonely weekend and watched the cars outside their apartment window pass, drinking up a beautiful city skyline.

"We don't talk about the past
We don't talk about the past, now."

and, though it was abuse, frank decided he needed to leave it behind himself and take time away. so he wrote gerard a letter, left it on the table, "this journey's been long, but i have a longer one ahead of me. see you in another life." and frank packed his things before leaving.

"So I'm writing the future
I'm leaving a key here"

"a key in the cafe where we first met, under a table." frank left a trail. maybe it was in the hopes that gerard would change or maybe so he would see how much it hurt him. but he left a note underneath the table at that stupid cafe just outside of jersey in a little town. "i'm leaving for monroeville, i'll see you when the road ends. bjw books. poetry. milk and honey. page 122."

"Something won't always be missing
It won't always feel empty, here."

frank had traveled far west after that, through monroeville, past kansas and oklahoma where he referenced his past note reading, "i'll be in wynona , i found a neat little store called "the shop" i hope you visit." it was an auto repair shop. and by that time, frank had already received ten angry voicemails from gerard screaming at him to come home. frank ended up deleting gerard as a contact and blocking the number. if he wanted him, he would find him.

"Just think of the future
And think of your dreams"

the landscape blended in and soon enough, seattle was at his finger tips. he visited the space needle and wrote a letter that he placed in one of the ceiling tiles in the bathroom as discreetly as he could and not long after, he began a long drive down to portland.

"You'll get away from here
You'll get away eventually"

frank felt free, more than he ever had been, and he didn't let the thought of how fast he was losing money or how he couldn't live life on the road forever catch up to him. he lived as he always wanted to. free.

"So just think of your future
Think of a new life"

portland came and went, and san francisco followed quickly. frank left his last note in a bookcase in an old antique shop in portland, "crestline drive. san francisco."

"Don't get lost in the memories
Keep your eyes on a new prize."

"i hate you, and i'm glad to be free of everything you put me through. merry christmas and i hope you rot."