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Chapter Forty Seven: "You Click Delete Contact."

S A M

MY FEET MOVED through the hospital without a second thought. My fists clenched so tightly I could feel my nails digging into my palm. I could hear Caleb running behind me calling my name but I didn't want to answer him.

I wanted to know why this happened. And why couldn't someone like her catch a break. Just a moment of nothing happening. Nothing that could change her life.

The smell of the hospital itself was sickening me and I felt the need to throw up but I shook my head, opening the door to the exit. When I reached the car, I opened the door quickly and sat myself inside, leaning my head back.

I held the key in my hands and let Caleb enter the car as well before I put it into the ignition. It was then Caleb yanked the keys out of my had and stared at me. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I'm leaving." I spat out, trying to take the keys back but he held them out of my reach. My anger was increasing and if he wasn't going to give me the keys he might as well get out of this car because I was going to find my way back to the flat either way to get away from here.

"No you aren't." He told me.

"Caleb, don't be stupid."

"You're telling me not to be stupid? What are you doing? You're being stupid."

"Once again," I repeated, snatching the keys out of his hands when he had been his arm back in my proximity. "I'm leaving."

"You're going to leave your girlfriend alone? You're going to leave her there wondering what's going to happen next?"

"You don't understand-"

"Just go back in there." Caleb demanded.

But I didn't listen. "She-She's not even reacting to it-"

"Because for fuck's sake's Sam, she barely had anytime to process what the hell just happened. The girl's chance at a career she loves could be over and she hasn't been able to absorb that yet. Can't you just be there for her?"

"I'm always there for her," I corrected. "Don't fucking say that."

"Really? Because you're here in the car right now and she's there wondering what is going to happen in her life next. You know Macy. You know that this is going to change her life. It may not even change just hers but yours as well."

"You think I don't know that. I-I just don't want to hear that she'll never play football again. She loves it as much as I do."

"Then we better hope that the surgeries she's about to go through are successful and not otherwise. Macy's strong Sam. You know that. But I feel like she's going to need all the support she can get for the next months whether she plays soccer or not."

I was silent for a few moments before I spoke, "You know that ACL and MCL injuries combined can make her future in football unpredictable."

Caleb let out a groan before looking at me seriously. He laced his hands and cleared his throat. "Look here, Sam. I'm telling you this because sometimes you have a pretty thick skull and a metaphorically big head that words can't get through most of the time."

"What?" I questioned slightly offended by his words.

"Shut up and let me talk. I know you're uncomfortable in hospitals."

"Everyone knows that."

"Yeah, but forget everyone," The more irritated Caleb was getting the more that accent he hid from everyone came out. I never understood why he hid it. He rarely did when it was just with me. But it clear now. "I know that. I know the reason behind that. I know that hospitals are the worst for you. You found out she died in the hospital. Not in the car that crashed but the hospital."

"We know that."

"But Macy is in the hospital. She's in there now. And I want you to question what is going to happen after. Go back inside there and be with her right now, you dick. For fuck's sake and only God knows how many times out loud and in my head I have said for fuck's sake, focus on now for a minute and go to her will you? You're in love with her? Don't get angry at what is happening, look at the opportunities."

"What opportunities?"

"In case you haven't noticed," He started yelling in my face. "I'm a pretty optimistic guy and if something bad happens we have to look on the bright side of things. Life isn't fair. You know this first hand but go inside right now, be there for her, and stop thinking about yourself."

My fingers tapped against the dashboard before I turned to look at him. "She has a slight fear of surgeries you know?"

"Macy?" He sounded like he was in pure disbelief. I would have been too if I hadn't known her well. "Really?"

"Yeah. She got her appendix taken out when she was twelve. Hated every second of it even though she was under."

"Then why are you here in the car again?"

"It's just that everything that's been happening? She doesn't deserve it especially since she puts up with someone like me everyday."

"Well she's in love with you so she kind of has to put up with you." Caleb said sarcastically.

"Now's not the time for your sarcasm."

"Now's not the time to be sitting in this car and making a dumb mistake by driving away." Caleb shot back.

I hated it when he made a good point.

I handed him the keys, getting out of the car when I saw that girl from university. The one Macy severely disliked. The one that annoyed the shit out of me. I could see her leaving the hospital which meant that she had visited her.

I walked over to her just when Caleb yelled out my name to stop me but I grabbed her arm, making her look me in the eyes. "What's your name?"

She looked startled for a second so I let her go, holding her gaze with my eyes. "It's Tanya. You know that."

I scoffed. I really forgot. "Actually, I fail to recall your name several times. Did you go see her?"

"Yeah." She looked a little irritated by my comment.

Tanya Nesmith. Her father Orlando Nesmith knew my mum very well. She and her father didn't look very much alike and that was involuntarily giving her a compliment but they both possessed a stance that showed that they had money. But Tanya? The way she looking at me with little irritation she was trying to cover up because I knew she had a thing for me? That irritation showed some kind of fire and I saw that today right before it happened.

"You know it wasn't your fault right?" I assured her. I had seen the whole thing. From her going from one end of the field to the other to literally fight another girl. Caleb had been the one to tap my attention away from Macy who had had the ball for one second before it happened.

Tanya crossed her arms, nodding and it was then I had noticed she was still in her football gear as if she had run all the way from the field to see Macy. "Macy told me."

"She could've blamed you. But she didn't."

"She could've hated me." Tanya added.

"But she didn't. That's her. She forgives anyway. You could ruin her entire life and she'll end up forgiving you. And you didn't even touch her. You nor the other girl touched her and made her knee give out that way but I want blame you. I do. But I'm not going to."

There was a heavy silence in the air before she spoke up, "I don't know what to say."

I ran a hand through my hair. "You and Macy aren't friends or anything. Just let her be. Alright, Tanya?"

She looked up at me for a second before nodding and walking away. Caleb stood beside me, twirling the key ring on his index finger before slipping it into his pocket. "Wow."

"Yeah," I stated, walking ahead. "Let's go."

"When Macy goes into surgery, do you think she'll want something to eat after?"

"Think?" And here I thought he almost knew my girlfriend better than I did. "No, I'll know. The second she gets into that surgery room, you go buy her all her favorite foods and a giant card."

"You're going to give me that money, right?" Caleb asked and I walked back inside that hospital, not giving him an answer so he continued asking, "RIGHT?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My phone buzzed in my pocket and a number I knew well appeared for what felt like the millionth time since we haven't spoken. I stared at it, standing in the living room with Soccer at my feet. I had been using a tennis ball to distract him when the call came in. I didn't dare speak to her after I told her to simply stay away from Macy and me. But that didn't stop her from calling.

Maybe it was the fact that Macy had sent me home herself from the hospital to go to class today. Maybe it was because I had just returned from another therapy session I had learned to finally just deal with instead of hating it like I had done in the past weeks.

As much as I had hated them, they helped a lot more than I originally thought they would. Taking to someone made things easier. It was still hard but it made things easier.

Maybe those were the reasons I chose to actually answer the phone with a harsh, "What?"

She paused before speaking. It was clear I had never spoken to her in that tone before and she knew it too. She was probably stunned but I didn't care. I was on my way to see someone else I actually wanted to see. 1 year with the girl I wanted to be with for as long as forever could go for.

"Sam, I didn't think you would actually pick up."

"Well, for some reason I did," I sighed, rubbing a hand over my face. "Alexis, what do you want?"

"I heard about Charlie and-"

"You what? You want to offer your condolences? Thanks." I said bluntly.

"Don't be like that."

"Don't be like what? Last time I checked, I told you to delete my number."

"It's not that easy."

"Yes it is," I drawled out sarcastically. "You go to my contact. You scroll down on your iPhone and you click delete contact. It sounds pretty simple to me."

Alexis let out a little sound, one she usually makes when she's frustrated but I wasn't fazed especially when she spoke calmly after. "I, uh, also heard about Macy."

"How?"

"Emma heard from Justin. She told me."

"Okay."

"Why are you being like this?"

"Because you thought that Macy and I would break up and you could immediately attach yourself to me. Because you implanted things into her head that made her feel insecure and like I wouldn't want to be with her because we don't have something that was completely none of your business but you tried making it your business anyway. Because for a moment you made her doubt our relationship. I am being like this for these reasons and maybe for the fact that she may not even be able to play-why the fuck am I explaining myself to you?"

"She may not play soccer again?"

"Why do you say it like that? You think because she and I may not play the same thing that in a way brought us together that we may break up? Is that what you're thinking? Are you making some kind of plan now?"

"Sam."

"Stop saying my name. I want you to delete my number. I'm mad right now and I'm not really feeling the need to blow up at you even more so I highly suggest you hang up and never call me again. Tell Emma I say hi and that I miss her. Goodbye Alexis."

She didn't say anything further and maybe that was when I realized that she had actually hung up the phone. I locked my phone slipping it into my pocket and rolling the tennis ball into the kitchen for Soccer to run after. one minute and 44 seconds of a conversation that already brought down my mood. Fuck.

Matteo poked his head into the living room from the kitchen not even a second later, looking curious. "Everything alright?"

"Everything's just dandy." I said with a tight smile. He had given me a ride here from the uni and I had listened to him rant about anything and everything concerning not just his own his life but everyone else's as well. Listening to him talk was rather distracting. It occupied my thoughts.

"Didn't sound dandy." He quipped.

"It was just someone."

"A someone?" He urged for me to elaborate and I rolled my eyes.

"Matteo you're a 'pryer' you know that?"

"Pryer?" He questioned, leaning against the wall. "I'm pretty sure that's not a word."

"I mean that you like to know everything, man. Like you pry. You're nosy."

"Yeah, so's Macy." He said as if trying to take the topic off of him.

"Macy isn't nosy. People just tell her things and she listens. She doesn't really pry because she knows that she wouldn't want to go past a boundary with a person."

"And I go past the boundary. We established that I like gossip. I like drama. So, who was that?"

I didn't find enough energy to lie to the guy anyway. By now I felt calmer, rubbing my cheeks as Matteo and I headed to my room. "Alexis."

"Wait," He said, making his way to lie down on my bed. I didn't mind but this dude's long body takes up half the space anyway. "The bitch?"

"Sure, let's go with that."

"I thought you guys didn't talk."

"We don't," I clarified. "I just picked up this one time to tell her to delete my number."

"Huh."

I nodded absentmindedly, walking over to the drawer to find a different shirt. "Yeah."

"That's nice."

"Is it really?" I asked with narrowed eyes, putting on a different shirt. She liked this shade of green anyway.

"Of course not. I just had nothing to say to that."

"Clearly." I pointed out.

"Maybe because hearing about Alexis is like bringing up a scandal from like 1994. It's old news. You'll always remember it but it's kind of forgotten."

"What's your point?"

"My point is that, she's old news. Like her obsessing over you is old news. Tanya obsessing over you seems to be old news because we passed by her today and for the first time she didn't glance at you."

"I want only one girl to be obsessing over me." I mumbled.

"You're Sam Cahill dude. That's not going to stop. You and Mace are just going to have to deal with it. But let's just say that although Macy doesn't show it sometimes she's clearly obsessed with you too."

I scoffed. "I would hope so."

"And you being jealous of me is old news as well considering we're now good friends."

"Don't stretch it Matty."

"You gave me a nickname." Matteo started. "See this solidifies it."

"What's my nickname?" I asked, chuckling and glancing at my phone.

"You see how you and Macy call me Matthew?"

"Yeah."

"I have one specifically for you- Samantha."

"No." I immediately said. He was absolutely stupid if he thought that he could call-

"Why not? It's pretty basic."

"In case you haven't notice my name is Sam short for Samuel."

"And now it can be short for Samantha."

"You're an annoying piece of shit, you know that?"

"Thank you."

"I already had one annoying person and now I have two?"

"Three, counting Peter."

"True."

"So Caleb went back to New York?" Of course he would ask that. Maybe that was the only reason he actually decided to come over. I was pretty certain he had developed a fascination towards Caleb.

"Yeah. He's been here in the country longer than he should have been anyway."

"I'm gunna miss him." I heard him mumble.

"That's because you found him attractive and asked me if he dated men."

"I told you that in confidence." Matteo said.

"You told me that with him a meter away." I couldn't help but laugh and Matteo joined in. Matteo was an odd person but odd in a good way. I couldn't describe it but I was happy him and Macy got to know one another. I was glad I got to know him. He was one of the only people that annoyed Peter when he got the chance to as well.

I sat down on the bed, putting my phone in my pocket. "I know in the beginning I didn't give you a chance-"

Matteo scoffed. "Trust me. I get it. Macy's a great person. It would suck to lose her."

"Yeah but me being jealous because you were with her was stupid."

"It's understandable. But you trust each other better after everything. That's all that really matters, right?"

I nodded and my mind flashed back to his crush on Caleb to another person. "So, how's the Maddy thing?"

Matteo's eyebrows knitted and I on the inside was preparing myself for his next words. Maddy was my friend and she had her own dating issues this school year. From Robert the druggie to George the actual douche, I figured she and Matteo could be something anyway. They were both my friends so I listened with interest even though I tried to make it seem like I couldn't care less.

"I'm going to be honest," He said. "I have no idea. We haven't spoken about it but I don't really want to change anything."

"Really?" Fuck, I told myself. We should really just set Maddy up on one of those dating sites or something. She's always online anyway. Like match, tinder, eharmony.

"Yeah. I don't know about her but that's just how I see things."

"Interesting." I commented, getting up and grabbing my leather jacket and the bag of things inside.

"You're going to Macy?" Mattoe asked.

"Yeah."

"One year, huh?"

This time a grin came to my face. "Yeah." It was weird. It felt like just yesterday I met her in high school. She changed as a person. She may not see it but I did. She became more observant, mature and different in a good way that made me glad to change right with her.

To be honest, she didn't truly have that tomboy persona people said she did back in high school. If I was someone else I would look at her and just say that that's Macy Anderson.

"Doing anything exciting?"

"She said she didn't want me to get her anything for this so I'm bringing movies since she can't really go anywhere."

"Want me to give you a ride?" Matteo asked.

"Yeah, sure," We walked out of the flat and took the elevator downstairs. When we were in the car, I spoke up. "Do you mind making a stop somewhere so I could get her something?"

"But she said she didn't want you to get her anything."

"Anything as in a present but the Macy Anderson I have come to fall in love with will always accept food."

When I walked into her room that night she was watching something on the TV screen with boredom written all over her face. She wasn't even looking at the screen, she was looking at her phone. She didn't even look up because she was expecting me. "The wifi here is trash but I'm grateful it works."

I chuckled, walking over to the chair beside her hospital bed. "Don't you have unlimited data?"

"Yeah but still." She said as if that made sense. I took in her face, the way she tried not to grimace in pain let me know that the painkillers were wearing off. She had to take her exams soon which was next week so I had a feeling that with her other upcoming surgery she would have to take it in here somehow.

She looked tired as hell, clearly from the textbooks and papers set on the stand net to the bed but she still looked like nothing was going to stop her. Her eyes moved away from her phone and she glanced down at the food in my hands. Just like that her eyes lit up and I could;'t help but laugh.

"You didn't have to." She grinned.

"Of course I did. One year with you and we're not going to eat? You're crazy." I pressed a kiss to her forehead and saw that giddy smile spread across her face. Her smile lit up her entire face.

"What's in the bag?" She asked and I put the food on the ground, handing it to her.

She opened it up and gasped dramatically. "My favorite movies?"

"Of course," I took them from her handing them each of them. "We have action, drama, stupid teenage romance that we love to make fun of, one of those Spanish soap operas that Caleb has forced us to watch before, horror-"

"We are not watching any horror movies." Macy demanded, giving me a blank face.

I laughed at her expression. "Yeah I know. You get scared."

"Shut up."

"Also, we have comedy, rom-coms and most importantly we three classic Disney movies- one a princess animation, one a regular animation and one original Disney movie where they do choreography and sing songs."

"This is good. This is a good night. This can last us two days. Happy anniversary to us." Macy clapped her hands and I smiled at the kid side of her.

"And last but definitely not least," I took out the buckets of ice cream. "Your man could not hold the ice cream cones in his hands so he bought three small buckets of your favorite ice creams."

"Wait, so you got-"

"I got vanilla, cookies and cream and rocky road."

"But-"

"And yes I got strawberry for myself."

"Good because I wasn't about to share any of this with you." She teased.

"Ha Ha Ha, you're funny." I leaned in for a kiss and she kissed me back with a smile before pulling back.

"Thank you." She said.

"You're welcome." I said, going over to the TV to put in the movie that was the stupid teenage romance we loved to make fun of DVD in first.

When I came back to sit beside, she was already eating the rocky road ice cream. A smile came to my face but it slipped off when she asked, "So, did you tell your coach yet about what team you picked to go to?"

"Um Hazel," I started. "I don't want to accept any of the trials."

She looked at me with shock written all over her face and her spoon that she had retrieved from the bag fell. "What?"

She always had to say what even though she had heard me clearly. "I don't want to accept any of the trials." I repeated.

"They're in a couple of weeks."

"I know."

She was still in disbelief. "What?"

"Hazel-"

"No," She exclaimed. "You're not declining the offers. Are you kidding me? Why would you even think of that?" I didn't even have to open my mouth for her to continue her rant and God I was all ears for it. "Is it because of my leg? Tell me Sam. Is it because I tore my ligaments? Tell me."

I sighed. "But-"

"No, no, no, buts. I don't care. That doesn't mean anything. Me tearing this and messing up my knee for God knows how long- possibly the rest of my life-"

"Don't say that."

"Let me say it! I know that this is bad and so do you but it doesn't make sense for you to just give up on what could be an amazing opportunity."

"But it's not fair. You worked hard to get to where you were and I just hate that we can't do this together-"

"So you thought that it would be best that we don't do this at all? No. I'm not accepting that. You deserve this especially after everything you've been through. You deserve looking forward to this."

"This shouldn't have happened to you. None of this should have happened to you."

"But think about it. God forbid something like this happens to you but this could be your last chance. Do it."

"But I want to be with you. The next months are going to be hard for you. You know that."

"So what? You're going to be gone for six weeks and recovery takes months- my recovery could last a year even. You're going to support me either way whether you're right beside me or in a different continent from me. I don't care."

"But-"

She grabbed my hand to get me to listen to her, to focus on her and it wasn't hard to when she was looking at me like that. "Pick one of them for me. For me, Sam. If not for me than for Bethany, than for Charles."

And at their names, I looked down at our hands, not looking into her eyes. An wave of emotion hit right then and there and I took a deep breath. I pulled myself to look into her eyes because what she was saying was true. All off it. "

I know they would you to take this chance with any hesitation. Your Grandfather once told me that he wished that you would be at the highest peak of your life. That you would be happy. And Soccer- football- whatever we want to call the amazing sport makes you so happy, Sam. You should see your face whenever you score, whenever you make a solid pass."

And you moving forward through everything through your sister's death, through healing made your Grandfather proud of you. And if you accept this and follow through with your own dream than I am certain that he would be completely and utterly proud of you like I am right now because you deserve this and any opportunity you get in the future. Alright? So you're going to take this, you're not going to decline. And you're not just going to do it for your Grandfather, or Bethany or your family or me but also yourself. Because you deserve this."

I thought I had heard everything I needed to hear but her saying this made me bite my lip from the sudden tears I could feel in my eyes. I quickly wiped them away as fast as they came, sniffing before I said with a smile, "I don't know how I deserve to have you in my life, you know that?"

She hid her face in her hands and I laughed at her reaction to my rhetorical question. "Sam."

I moved her hands from her face. "Yeah?"

"It's too corny when you say things like that." She admitted and really was but wasn't planning on stopping.

"You love it more than anything."

"You love me." She confirmed.

"Sometimes."

"Sometimes?" She asked bewildered.

I laughed in response, opening the McDonald's bag. "This is some unhealthy feast."

"Feast?"

"Yeah. I feel like I bought the whole store for you."

"Before I met you, the boys and I used to loved going there so much to talk back in like grade nine. It came to a point where Jon Ming actually couldn't stand going to McDonalds for a good two years before we went again."

And I loved it when she got that look on her face when she would be talking about her friends. I knew she missed them. How they were before they all went their separate ways. I took a fry from the package she held in her hand. She always ate the fries first.

"I wanna help you pick."

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Which trial to go to. I know that's been racking your brain for weeks and I wanna help you pick. Let's start. Give me your pros and cons." She settled in her bed, hitting the pillow a few times before placing it back in her position.

And it was that smile she gave me while we were talking. It told me that after everything, my sister's death, my grandfather's, us and my ignorance and pride, even her injury, let me know that she was definitely going to be there for me and I didn't have any doubts about it.

And I was going to be there for her.