Dedicated to a long time commenter and reader who's comments I literally look out for every time I update and also who made the cover above, @e_k_p_g! Thanks Katherin💖

point out typos please. I'm super tired and wanted to get this out for you guys and didn't have time to fully look it over.

Chapter Forty Nine: "Slide Into Her Dms On Instagram."

"A FRUIT."

"Um, apples."

"Peaches."

"Pears."

"Plums."

"Tomatoes."

"What?" Simon stared at me weirdly from behind his glasses. "I swear a tomato isn't a fruit. It's a vegetable."

"No. It's a fruit." I corrected him, smiling at a memory of this conversation I had once had in the past.

"You're lying." He insisted, pulling out his phone that was almost the size of his huge hand.

"Search it up yourself." I told him, looking at how his used to be straight brown hair had managed to grow out and curl into thick locks. My eyes glanced down to the light bulb tattoo on him arm with a baseball bat in the middle of it. I liked the design of it and I was certain there was a small elephant tattoo on his ankle. He had told me he was getting a matching one with his mom months before.

Simon had arrived back home earlier than any of us. I couldn't even use the term us. Simon wasn't close to my close group of friends I had here at home. We- Simon and me- were close since Simon had claimed me as his nacho and bowling partner back in high school. And that says a lot since he had said he was really good at bowling but it took like ten times of going for him to prove up to those words.

We were sitting on the steps of my front porch and I was currently using one of my crutches to trace the ugliest heart possibly on the ground. When Simon's eyes had gone wide with finding out what I had told him, a car pulled up in front of the house and two people I was expecting came out of it.

"Macy." Jon Ming gave me a wide grin as he made his way over, taking off his sunglasses to bend down and give me a hug.

"Hey." I smiled, looking at him. That tattoo that was on the back of his hand had formed into a a sleeve tattoo and I could see the different flags that composed of it all. My lips parted in shock at the intricate designs. "Are those flags of countries that-"

"I know their first language in? Yeah. Caleb gave me the idea and I want to visit all these places before I die."

"Cool." I told him as he shook Simon's hand as a greeting. Caleb and Stevie exited the car, talking to one another when Stevie's eyes glanced at my knee with a frown before looking up at my face. She greeted me with a wide smile of not seeing each other in months and I returned it because I really did miss her.

"Hey Mace." She gave me a hug and it was then I noticed her hair was different. She looked blonder. Like a platinum blonde.

"Okay, whoa your hair." I dramatically pointed out.

"That's what I said." Caleb said, twisting the car keys in his hands.

"No," Stevie started correcting. They would always be like this. "What you said was you look different and then you asked if I got a nose job."

"Caleb." I hit him on the arm and he laughed.

"I was kidding."

"With your level of stupidity I wasn't sure." Stevie commented and I held in a laugh at that insult.

"You're mean, you know?" Caleb poked her in her sides and she swatted his hand away, sitting next to me.

"It's so good to see you." She told me.

"When did you land in?"

"At like 2AM. Cedric fell asleep on the phone with me so I wasn't shocked when he wasn't there when I landed. But imagine by shock when I get home and the person to greet me at the door is Caleb, wide awake hours later with coffee in his hands."

"I live next door. what else was I supposed to do?" Caleb asked, looking genuinely confused.

"Sleep," Jon Ming said. "You sleep."

"I spent all yesterday sleeping. I'm ready today. We're going to go paint balling-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Stevie put her hands up. "One, I never agreed to that. I'm certain you and Jon Ming just said that. Two, Macy can't even go paint balling."

Everyone's eyes went down to my knee and I stared back at them blankly. I suddenly wasn't in the mood to go anywhere if I was going to restrict them all from going. "Um, you guys can go without me if you want."

"Mace. We're not going to do that." Jon Ming said.

Caleb pulled out his phone. "Okay, so on our list of what we were going to do this week and for the rest of the summer included go karting-"

"Cancelled." Jon Ming said.

"laser tag-"

"Nope."

"Horse back riding-"

"What," Simon cut in. "Who wanted to do that?"

Caleb and Jon Ming quickly pointing at one another and Stevie rolled her eyes, grabbing Caleb's phone. Her eyes moved down the screen, the movement of her finger clearly showed that we were all supposed to do a lot of things this summer. "We did most of this stuff last summer."

"Yes," Caleb said in the tone as if he was talking to a child. "But we're going to be doing those things again and more. Like we've never gone horse back riding. Ever. I wanna."

"And camping," Jon Ming added. "We need to go camping. I hate the outdoors but we need to do this."

"Just not now." Stevie told them, glancing at me.

"What about a movie?" Simon suggested.

"Yeah," Jon Ming agreed, turning to me. "Mace, we can go to the mall. Is that good?"

The mall? Where I had to have people stare at me wondering which part of me is broken and questioning why I had crutches? And why the hell I probably looked so tired? I removed my gaze from the ground, getting up. "Um, I'm okay. You guys can go without me."

"What?" Jon Ming questioned with surprise. "But I wanted to tell you everything that's been happening I thought we could catch up."

"JM, we have months to catch up. It's only one day. Simon, I'll call you later. Go with them."

He looked surprised as well. He never really hung out with my group of friends without me."But Mace-"

"I'll see you guys later."

I was so close to making it inside the house but Caleb held me back with an outreached arm. "Macy, what's going on?" He asked in a quiet voice loud enough for only me to hear.

"I'm just not up to going outside." I admitted.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm just tired." I partially lied.

But Caleb wasn't convinced. He kept prodding, trying to figure out what was wrong. He didn't mean to, it's just how he was. Caleb would do anything to put a smile on someone's face and I feel like whenever I wouldn't put one on, he would make it his mission to make me happy. The world needed more people like him. "Just tell me what's been happening."

"Nothing is happening," I sighed. "I just want to stay home today."

"But-"

"Please," I pleaded, not wanting to continue this conversation. "Just- I just want to be alone."

Caleb let go of me, his eyes searching my face like he could find an answer. "Okay, we'll leave you alone for a bit but when I call you later. You better pick up."

He called 53 times.

I didn't pick up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I found shelter in finding multiple shows to binge watch. It was better investing my life into fictional characters rather than my own. Especially when I had read the book of a series and compare it to the TV show. My one twitter account turned into two- and I had become sucked into the fandom world.

So I was constantly on my phone or my laptop as the days went by. Sam checked up on me every time. I was certain Caleb told him I didn't want to really see everyone. Sam tried to talk about why I didn't want to speak to anyone but I always changed the topic.

I always made an excuse not to see people.

I was busy.

I was doing a family thing.

Dinner? I just ate, sorry and I'm kind of tired anyway.

And my injury was one that made everyone let me be. I used it as an excuse to not see anyone.

The only person I was okay with seeing was Andrew. He didn't treat me any differently. He didn't look at me with pity. He'll ask me questions with how I was doing and what the doctor told me and questions about going into physiotherapy but he let me move past everything on my own accordance. He would sleep over, watching shows with me or finding ways to make me laugh.

I wished Sam was with me too. But he was insanely busy. He was in collaboration with another modelling project but that didn't stop him from trying to see how I was. Trying to be there for me even when he wasn't there physically. I felt like that was practice. A test for what would be happening weeks from now.

I sighed, looking at the TV. Dad and I were alone in the house since Justin still had school. I really wished school would hurry up so I could actually spend time with my brother. Believe it or not I had really missed the guy and he was holding out on a lot of information he said he wanted to tell me.

"Oh my God." I exclaimed, hearing a sound. Not just any sound but a familiar bark. Before I knew it soccer was running into the living room, leaped onto the couch and cradled himself onto my lap.

"So this is the infamous Soccer." My dad said.

"My child." I cooed, petting him and hugging him to my chest when he started licking my face. "I missed you so much. I'm sorry I decided that your brother Peter should keep you for extra days as company."

The man himself walked into the room giving me a face like he ate something sour. "Um...we've established that that dog is not going to be my brother."

"We also established that you were adopted into the family." I muttered when Peter took a seat beside me.

The second our first year of university ended for all of us, Peter had to go to Amsterdam to visit his parents. He didn't want to go alone and after complaining, we allowed him to take Soccer with him.

"How are ya?" He asked, kicking his feet up on the ottoman like it was his own house already.

"I'm okay."

"That isn't assuring."

"I don't think it was meant to be," I muttered, petting Soccer. "I just gave you an answer."

Peter shot me a look when my dad poked his head in the room from the kitchen. "Peter, would you like anything?"

"For your daughter to give me an honest answer but other than that? I'm okay, thank you."

"Macy. Give the man an honest answer." My dad said, walking towards the front door.

"Sam's here?" I asked Peter.

"He dropped me off. He's outside. Oh, so that's what gets you excited. Seeing your dog, hearing your boyfriend is here but not little old Peter."

"Peter-"

"You know, I deserve love and appreciation too. I'm not going to be one of those siblings that is always jealous of who their mother loves more."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You just made this so much weirder than it has to be."

"Just go see Sam, would you? The better Cahill."

"No one said he was the better Cahill."

"Who's the better Cahill then?"

"Phillip, duh." I answered, slowly getting up and grabbing my crutches.

"Well fuck. I've been beaten by a nine year old." Peter mumbled, grabbing the remote to increase the volume of the TV.

When I made my way outside Sam and my father were laughing about something before dad slipped inside, leaving us on the porch alone. I took a moment to stare at my boyfriend. When he spotted me his eyes looked like they were filled with happiness but not even a second later his eyes were only filled with concern. I hated that look. I pulled on a smile anyway. "Hey."

"Hey," He smiled. "In about two hours Caleb will pick you up."

"What if I have plans?"

He shrugged nonchalantly. "Cancel them."

"Sam."

"I haven't had a moment alone with you," He said, stepping closer to me. "I've been busy for most of the days we've been here and I want to see my girlfriend. Is that so much to ask for?"

"No."

"So cancel the plans I know you didn't have."

"You make me sound like a loner."

"You're not but you're starting to act like one," He admitted. "Stop binge watching tv shows in your room and go outside with your friends."

He sounded like a parent telling their child this. Except in high school I actually left my house. Oh my God.

"But I hung out with Andrew yesterday." I said.

"It doesn't matter," Sam told me. "You're usually with them-all of your friends- at all times. I sometimes have to drag you away myself. So you're going to get back in that house, you're going to change, you're going to give Soccer to your dad-"

"But I just got him back." I whined.

"And you're going to come out this house later with Caleb at the front waiting to take you to our spot. I'm glad we have an understanding."

"I don't like it when you're this demanding."

"Yes you do. In your mind, you don't just like it. It's hot even." A smirk grew on his face that I wanted to wipe off.

I didn't even fight him on that. I struggled to say something but I just ended up with rolling my eyes and saying, "Shut up." Because technically he wasn't wrong.

He winked. "I'll see you later, okay?"

He started to back away when I spoke up. "Wait, you're going to leave without-"

My sentence was cut off by his lips pressing against mine. His hand cupped my jaw as he let me forget everything that was flooding my mind for the past couple of days and just focus on him. The guy I was in love with and should have spent every moment with before he left for a while.

When he pulled away, he pressed his forehead against mine, an eyebrow raised. "Without what?"

I grinned, my smile beaming. "Never mind."

"I thought so," He teased. "Give me a couple of hours, alright?"

"Alright."

"Great." He pressed a kiss to my cheek before moving down the staircase. "Tell Peter he can find his own way back to the house."

"Sam, I heard that." Peter yelled, already running out of the house. But Sam was faster, he had found his way to the car an locked the doors so quickly that Peter was banging on the windows telling him to unlock the car.

"Sam! Sam!" I could see Sam laugh before pressing the gas and speeding off. The motion made Peter slip and fall on the ground. I moved over to towards him as Sam's car disappeared out of the neighborhood.

Peter laid down there for a while longer than he definitely should have. "Peter." He hummed in response. "Are you going to get up soon?"

"Do I have to?"

"I need to go somewhere."

Peter rolled over on his back, staring up at not just me but the sun as well so he hissed, quickly covering his eyes. "Shit, uh, where? In case you haven't noticed, I don't have a car."

I changed, looking at him. "Actually she can come to us."

"Who?"

"Stevie."

"You mean Stella? Your hot blonde friend?" I shot him a look as he got up and dusted himself off. "What? I've seen her before. Now I can see her face to face."

"Whoa. Don't get too excited now. She's dating your cousin." I said sarcastically, making my way back inside the house.

"What?"

"She's dating Cedric."

"You're lying."

"I'm really not." How did Cedric not tell him? And I swear Sam and I have mentioned it before.

"That bastard never tells me anything," Peter muttered. "And to think I was going to actually hit her up."

"Hit her up?"

"I was going to find a way to get her number. Or slide into her dms on Instagram."

"How about you just talk to her face to face?" I suggested.

"If I talk to her face to face I may get too excited. If I do get too excited when she's gets here, don't blame me okay?"

It took me a while to figure out what he was talking about before I made a face. "Oh my God. Peter."

"You've already seen me naked, what the problem?"

"That I ever asked to see you naked in the first place."

"Well you're welcome."

"I never said thank you."

"You didn't have to."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The ride to the cliff between Caleb and I was silent. That is until he cut the silence and turned on one of his many CD's to play Justin Timberlake. "I'm bringing sexy back. Them other boys don't know how to act. I think it's special what's behind your back. So turn around and I'll pick up the slack."

He proceeded to turn to me when he said the next line, pointing to the air. "Take to the bridge."

And I actually watched him dance and sing to the entire SexyBack by Justin Timberlake dramatically by the time we got back to the cliff and when the song was over I was laughing and he was out of breath.

He smiled at me, turning off the ignition. "See I made you smile. You don't look that sad anymore."

"I'm sorry for not calling you back."

Caleb took my hand. "Believe it or not Macy, I get it. I understand why you've been shutting everyone out. Sam will understand too. Talk to him."

"I will."

"I'll see you princess."

A smile came to my face at that nickname then I slowly got out of the car and he handed me my crutches that had been lying in the backseat. "Thanks, Charming."

"You sure you're going to be okay heading there?" He nodded to the path that usually takes me to the cliff.

"Yeah. It's not steep or anything. I'll be okay" I positioned the crutches under my arms. "Thanks for asking."

"I wouldn't be me if I didn't. Have fun on your date. I brought churros for you both. Remember use protection." He grinned wickedly before pulling away.

It probably took me about an extra ten minutes for me to get to the cliff than I should have had to. But that was okay. I had time to think about what I had to say to him. What I had rehearsed a thousand times in my head even though I was certain that it definitely wouldn't turn out like it did in my head.

It might. I don't know, I thought to myself as I reached the clearing to find him standing there with his hands in his leather jacket pockets. There were blankets spread out and about three baskets filled with food sitting on top of one along with a backpack. And with that view- the water and trees and him I only had one word while Sam had two. "Whoa."

"Your hair." Sam eyes were wide as he walked over to me. He reached out for himself almost to check if I actually did cut my hair. Stevie was a hairdresser to be. I trusted her enough with my hair and I wanted something different. Strands of my hair were a little lighter and the length went a little past my shoulders. I was kind of happy that it was this short. It was a little refreshing.

Sam was staring at me with a weird expression and I frowned. "You don't like it."

"What? What? Of course I do. It's you. I love it. It's just...you're changing Hazel."

"What?"

"I thought it wasn't that big of a deal but I guess you really are." He licked his lips the way he was staring at me was like I was a completely different person.

"What are you talking about? You know what? Can we sit down? I want to talk to you."

"I want to talk to you too." Sam mumbled, helping me settle down on the blanket, my legs outstretched in front of me.

"Wait. I have a question." I said to him as he sat next to me. "That day when we were at the hospital and the doctor said what happened to me and everything, why did you almost leave?"

Sam's eyes were down as he spoke, his voice quiet. "There were a lot of reasons actually why I would have left. I didn't think it was fair this happened to you and I didn't want to believe it. I hate hospitals. I found out my sister had died when I was getting stitched up in the hospital. It brings horrible memories. I just remember needing to get out of there but Caleb reminded me of the reason why I stayed."

"Why?"

"Because it's you. And I want to be there for you. No matter what happens. I wanted to be there for you then and I want to be there for you now. So tell me why Caleb was telling me-"

"I knew he told you something"

"That you haven't picked up his calls."

"I didn't want..." I trailed off.

"You didn't want what, Hazel? Tell me."

I sighed, burying my hands. "I'm tired of this." I gestured to my injured knee. "I hate it when people just look at me with pity. Concern. I'm sick of it. It's so annoying. I love Caleb but I know he was one of the people that would look at me like that the most and that's why I've been ignoring him. I want to do things for myself without others help and for other people, people who know I did something I loved and it possibly got ruined, to stop looking at me like I need help. I don't."

"They're just worried."

I took my hands off my face, looking at him. "Yeah, but I don't need people to be worried about me. I don't want you to be worried about me. Especially you."

"Why not?"

"Because you have more things to worry about than me. I don't want you going back to England and possibly losing something because you were worried about me. I don't want you to lose your chance of getting signed because you're constantly worried about me."

"Of course I'm going to worry. Hazel, what do you suggest we do then? How do you want me to stop worrying about you? To stop caring about you? Do you want to break up?"

I let out a sigh and laughed. "Sam, that's not going to happen. For me to officially break up with you means that you must have," I paused because saying messed up wasn't enough. I didn't want to sugarcoat it. "You have to fuck up big time for me to break up with you."

Sam eyes went wide with shock at the word that came out of my mouth. "Did you just say the f word?"

I rolled my eyes. "Are you serious? You of all people are going to call it the f word when you used to say it in like every single sentence?" Yeah, I'm certain that he used to have a swearing problem.

"But- you just said it."

"Yes, I just said it and you'll never hear me say it again for a long time."

It took a good minute before he spoke again, and he was still dumbfounded."Wow."

"Sam!"

"It's just I haven't heard you say that since like last year when you got really mad at me when I fought Drake. That was the only time," He gently hugged me and I hugged him back. "Hazel?"

"Yeah?"

"Change but don't change too much, okay?"

"I honestly don't think I've changed that much."

Sam narrowed his eyes at me. "Oh yeah? Where's your camera?"

"Right..." I trailed off, looking into my bag to realize that I didn't have it. I actally forgot it. I didn't even acknowledge it. I haven't in what felt like weeks.

"Where are the pop tarts?"

"There is one in my bag and I am certain that there is two in yours. You probably brought one of the chocolate ones and one of the fruity ones even though I toast my chocolate ones."

The small smile on his face let me know that I was right. "Okay but don't change too much Hazel. Especially when I'm gone."

I scoffed, biting into the pop tart I had ripped open. "Sam, life doesn't work that way."

"I know, but even your dad just pointing out that you don't take your camera out anymore is something. And you don't see it. You don't. But I just want you to know that just because you can't play football for a while-"

"It's not just that, Sam," I cut in. "When-When I got injured it was like I lost a part of myself. I can't explain it. It just feels different."

"You didn't lose a part of yourself. Football is your passion. You love it whether you'll play it again or not. This doesn't mean that you have to change every single part of you. And you still have time. Everything is just on pause like a movie. You're just taking a break. Think of it as a break."

"A break?"

"Yeah. And when I come back I still want to come back to you. Whether you have short hair or long hair. Whether you decide to do anything different with yourself or even get a tattoo or another piercing-"

"I was thinking of getting a cartilage piercing actually." I cut him off, my hand raising up to my ear and he narrowed his eyes at me.

"I'm going to be there to witness that right?"

"Yeah. I want to go get it. Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"You're so random." I pulled a smile at his comment.

"I know."

"One more thing."

"What?" I questioned.

"Don''t hold out on me. I'm sorry I didn't ask but let me know how you're feeling. Let me know exactly what's going through your head."

"I just didn't want to burden you." I said quietly.

"What do you mean?"

"Your Grandfather just died Sam. I didn't want you worrying about me when-"

"Hold up, hold up," He shook his head. "I'm going to worry about you. I don't want to because I know you;'ll be okay but I just do because I'm in love with you. Because I care about you. And yes, my Grandfather died and I'm still trying to move past that and I'm getting better. You know that I am, I know that I am especially since you've been by my side since it happened. But you're as important to me as as anything. You can tell me anything. Anything at all."

"I know."

"And don't shut out your friends. They want to be there for you. They want to be with you and so do I." He pressed a kiss to my forehead before pulling back looking at the food. "Now, I'm not going to just eat this by myself am I?"

He settled him behind me as he reach out for a sandwich and split it with me. And so we sat there, overlooking at the view when he had fun something in the basket. He held the note out and looked at it over my should to read out loud.

"Hey, it's Caleb. I hope you both know that I'm going to be crashing your date in about twenty minutes after I had dropped Macy off. I'm buying us chips and firecrackers for when when it gets darker. Save a churro for me. Okay. Bye."

Sam sighed, running a hand through the mop on the top of his head. "I saw this coming."

I laughed, taking a bite of my pop-tart. "So did I." Caleb stayed true to his word but about a half an hour when Sam and I had found ourselves at the bottom of the cliff near the water, Caleb had a bag of fireworks in his hands and an Andrew by his side.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I asked Andrew.

"Caleb went to my house and to ask my dad for any fireworks and then brought me along."

"Doesn't your dad always have fireworks for Canada day?"

"Exactly and I texted everyone else. They'll be here in a bit."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Andrew looked down at my knee as I heard laughter erupt from Sam and Caleb. "Trust me. All us of together? Even after months apart? We don't just need this. You need this."

Caleb slung an arm around me. "Also, we stopped by your house and your dad gave us this."

He handed me my camera and I stared at it before taking it in my hands. "Thanks." And I needed that.

I needed to see my friends laughing when we were all in one place. I needed to see Caleb get pushed into the water by Sam and Andrew and Jacob and Brandon's faces when Stevie shocked us all by managing to tackle Cedric to the ground. I needed to see Peter and Simon bond over Soccer who was running around. I needed to see Jon Ming and Austin talk because God knows how long those two that had once been so close seen each other before.

I did need this.

And when one of those red fireworks exploded in the sky, I held that camera up to my eye, grasping every moment of the people I called my friends and also part of my family no matter how far apart we were.