"The soulmate is what we aspire to and like to understand about ourself, is what we deem to be perfection, purity, and endless love."

– Sorin Cerin

  ♡  

It was midnight when Ashton finally answered my text.

I let out a sigh of relief as I read the text, throwing my head back and instantly regretting it as I smack hard against my bed frame. I groan and let out a long string of curse words, rubbing my head and grimacing at my stupidity.

Not wanting to leave Ashton on read, I quickly sit up, crossing my legs and shoving the blankets away from me.

fallingash: hi

cheesetoastie11: ASHTON :O

fallingash: hi

cheesetoastie11: r u ok?!?!?!?!?!!!?!!??!?!

fallingash: i'm still alive

fallingash: so i guess

cheesetoastie11: what happened :'(

fallingash: i don't want to talk about it

fallingash: what are you even doing up so late anyway?

fallingash: there's school tomorrow

cheesetoastie11: i could ask u the same thing

fallingash: yeah, but i asked first.

cheesetoastie11: damn u got me there

cheesetoastie11: i was too worried to fall asleep :'O

fallingash: why? you don't even know me

cheesetoastie11: yeah but ur my friend

cheesetoastie11 sent an image!

cheesetoastie11: heres me

cheesetoastie11: i took it like 5 seconds ago

fallingash: you look like a baby

cheesetoastie11: hey :'(

cheesetoastie11: dont be a meanie head >:(

fallingash: meanie head lmao

fallingash: are you sure you aren't secretly 12?

fallingash sent an image!

fallingash: that's me and my friend calum.

fallingash: i'm on the left.

cheesetoastie11: i luke ur hair

fallingash: you're so narcissistic ssksk

cheesetoastie11: *like hahahaha

fallingash: thanks

cheesetoastie11: also calum awww

fallingash: yep calum is sooooooo punk rock

cheesetoastie11: is that sarcasm i hear?

fallingash: yeahhhh

fallingash: calum thinks he's so cool hahahaha he's just a nerd :')

cheesetoastie11: that sounds like my friend michael lmao

fallingash: oh?

cheesetoastie11: yeah hahahaha he changes his hair color every month and wears eyeliner

cheesetoastie11: he says hes punk rock :'D

fallingash: they'd probably get on great haha

cheesetoastie11: if calum has idiotic tendencies then yes they would

fallingash: tendencies? that's a big word coming from you

cheesetoastie11: whats that supposed to mean >:(

fallingash: you literally use text slang and little to no grammar

cheesetoastie11: and you use apostrophies and punctuation

fallingash: *apostrophes

cheesetoastie11: ok LISTENNN

fallingash: listening

cheesetoastie11: this isnt the spelling bee or watever

fallingash: luke i'm cringing

fallingash: i can deal with most text slang but don't ever say "watever" again eWW

cheesetoastie11: yeah sorry dad

cheesetoastie11: maybe ill say it more just to annoy u >:D

fallingash: you have such an attitude at night don't you??

cheesetoastie11: im too savage 4 u

fallingash: ew

fallingash: don't ever say that again either please

cheesetoastie11: ok... since u asked so nicely

cheesetoastie11: though im not sure how i feel about all these language rules >:(

fallingash: go to bed

fallingash: it's midnight

fallingash: there's school tomorrow

cheesetoastie11: ur point?

fallingash: you'll be tired in the morning when you wake up

cheesetoastie11: yeah so will u

cheesetoastie11: i wanna stay up and talk to u

fallingash: but you don't even have to be worried about me anymore

fallingash: go to sleep

cheesetoastie11: ur literally my dad

cheesetoastie11: im not going to bed

fallingash: if you get to call me dad, i get to call you mom

cheesetoastie11: fine... but only bc then we have cute matching nicknames :D

fallingash: you're so cheesy

fallingash: i was bluffing

fallingash: i literally hate you

cheesetoastie11: love u too dad :D

fallingash: im cringing so hard

fallingash: my shoulders just touched my ears

cheesetoastie11: dont be so dramaticccccc

fallingash: it's so bad i can taste it

cheesetoastie11: wat does cringe taste like

fallingash: i literally hate you

cheesetoastie11: im being ATTACKED

cheesetoastie11: WAT DID I DO WRONG

fallingash: you know what you did you hoe

cheesetoastie11: DONT CALL ME A HOE >:(

cheesetoastie11: UR A HOE

fallingash: YOU JUST DID IT AGAIN

cheesetoastie11: WAT

fallingash: DON'T--

fallingash: STOP--

cheesetoastie11: DONT STOP? OK

fallingash: NO NO

fallingash: YES STOP

cheesetoastie11: MAKE UP UR MIND

fallingash: I DID

fallingash: STOP USING YOUR ANNOYING TEXT SLANG

cheesetoastie11: whats in it for me

fallingash: my eternal happiness?

cheesetoastie11: fine

cheesetoastie11: but im not typing out the long words

fallingash: deal

cheesetoastie11: love u dad :D

fallingash: wHY DO YOU CALL ME DAD

cheesetoastie11: BC UR OLD ENOUGH TO BE MY DAD

fallingash: LUKE IM 2 YEARS OLDER THAN YOU

cheesetoastie11: THATS A LOT OF YEARS

cheesetoastie11: U WERE ALIVE BEFORE I EVEN EXISTED

fallingash: you're so ANNOYING

cheesetoastie11: dont yell at me :'(

fallingash: sorry

fallingash: lmao

cheesetoastie11: we're so stupid at night

fallingash: speak for yourself... im not being an idiot

cheesetoastie11: maybe you should go to bed ur not thinking straight

fallingash: luke im gay i don't ever think straight

cheesetoastie11: i--

fallingash: lmao gotcha there

cheesetoastie11: ur so

cheesetoastie11: idek how to respond to you

fallingash: teehee

fallingash: what's your sexuality :p

cheesetoastie11: idk

fallingash: oh

fallingash: sorry that was probably too personal

cheesetoastie11: no i mean idk....... im everything

fallingash: oh?

cheesetoastie11: yeah.... i havent given much thought to it

cheesetoastie11: im only 15 u know

fallingash: makes sense

cheesetoastie11: like girls are cool but guys are cool too u know

cheesetoastie11: i dont rlly care who the other person is, if i love them i love them

fallingash: that's kind of good to hear, actually.

fallingash: basically everyone at my school is kinda homophobic unfortunately

fallingash: some of them are flat out homophobic and don't even care

cheesetoastie11: like the guy from earlier

fallingash: yeah... like him

fallingash: others say that they're supportive, but still look at me strange like i'm a monster or something

cheesetoastie11: thats rlly sad :(

cheesetoastie11: i wish there was something i could do about it :(

fallingash: yeah, but there isn't, and it's ok

fallingash: i can live through it

fallingash: just gets hard sometimes

cheesetoastie11: you have calum right??

fallingash: right

fallingash: and you, now

cheesetoastie11: awww ashy

fallingash: shut up i'm trying to be sentimental

fallingash: i'm glad you messaged me ahaha

fallingash: i felt like shit on that day, and i still do

cheesetoastie11: but now u feel slightly less like shit?

fallingash: yep

cheesetoastie11: glad i could be of service :D

fallingash: we've only been talking for a while on here but you're already a really good friend of mine

fallingash: also i'm glad you called me today

cheesetoastie11: actually it was yesterday

cheesetoastie11: it's 12:51am

fallingash: okay fine

fallingash: i'm glad you called me yesterday 

cheesetoastie11: me too! ur voice matches ur face btw

fallingash: yours doesn't hahaha

fallingash: i thought you would look different tbh

cheesetoastie11: better or worse?

fallingash: better

cheesetoastie11: HEY :'O

cheesetoastie11: UR A MEANIE

fallingash: i'm only kidding you

cheesetoastie11: ik im beautiful <333333

fallingash: i wouldn't go that far...

cheesetoastie11: HEY :'O

fallingash: "too savage 4 u"

cheesetoastie11: :'(

fallingash: i'm kidding i'm kidding don't cry

cheesetoastie11: :'((((((((((

fallingash: OKAY FINE luke you're beautiful

cheesetoastie11: oh teehee ur making me blush

fallingash: i literally hate you

I laugh quietly at my conversation with Ashton, my cheeks actually burning slightly red as he compliments me, even though I basically forced him to.

My eyes shoot up to the door as it opens with a creak. My heart starts to race and I start to panic, until I see that it's only my Mom.

"Honey, what are you still doing up?" She asks tiredly, stepping inside my room and gently closing the door behind her. "Still on that goddamn phone?"

I lock my "goddamn phone" and set it down on the bed beside me, shaking my head.

"I couldn't sleep." I answer honestly. She walks closer to me, taking a seat at the foot of my bed. 

"I can't either." She confesses, rubbing her forehead and pinching the bridge of her nose. 

"Why?" I ask. "Is something wrong?"

"I don't know." She says, turning to look at me. "I just haven't been feeling too well lately. I got up to get some water and saw that your light was still on, and came in to check on you."

"Oh." Is all I say. I don't really know how to respond.

"You should be getting to sleep, Luke." Mom scolds, and I try my best not to roll my eyes. "There's school tomorrow."

"I know." Yeah, so I've been told by Ashton at least twice.

"You'll be tired in the morning, so try to go to sleep, okay?" I nod, pulling my blankets back up and laying down, watching Mom as she leaves the room.

"Goodnight baby, see you in the morning." She clicks off the overhead light and closes the door gently behind her.

I pick up my phone and open Tumblr again. I've decided that I will finally go to bed, but I want to say goodnight to Ashton first.

cheesetoastie11: my mom just told me to go to sleep

fallingash: good. it's pretty late

cheesetoastie11: i just wanted to say goodnight first :D

cheesetoastie11: GOODNIGHT DAD

fallingash: ughhh

fallingash: goodnight mom

cheesetoastie11: YAY

cheesetoastie11: WE'RE SUCH GOALS ASHTON

fallingash: yeah whatever go to bed you big goof

cheesetoastie11: so eager to get rid of me i see?

fallingash: so eager

cheesetoastie11: FINE

cheesetoastie11: ILL LEAVE

cheesetoastie11: BE THAT WAY

cheesetoastie11: pls also go to bed though it is very late and ur gonna be so tired in the morning and u'll feel like shit and i dont want u to feel like shit becuz i want u to be happy forever

fallingash: okay, i'll go to bed just for you

cheesetoastie11: good boy

fallingash: ew

cheesetoastie11: hahaha goodnight ashy

fallingash: night

  ♡   

hey hey hey

proud of myself for writing this xx

anyway, if you found any mistakes, please tell me so i can fix them!

my love always,

shelby xx

instagram: rainbowlouuu