A/N: UHHHHNAMANAMANAMARRRRRHHHHRHUGHHHHHLLNNNNNFfff. I'm tired. Trigger warning there will be sad and bad stuff in this chapter so mentally prepare. Hey I've got a question: have you or anyone you know ever dyed a sock, I eagerly await you responses.

Midoriya's POV    Friday     4:21

TRIGGERING STUFF AHEAD

When I removed my bandages I was greeted with the sight of healing wounds, some still had the slightly puffy, red and bloody look while others had partially healed in the corners giving me a slight idea of what the scar would look like. The healed parts were a pinkish purple colour, like what you would find on a bad bruise and had a leathery and calloused feel, I in no way liked how they looked.

When I dug around the box I choose my personal favourite, the safety pin that would bring me pain. My mind was foggy as I began harshly scratching at the skin of my arm, not in lines of marks but in a giant patch of bleeding skin covering almost my entire forearm, when I had first used the safety pin I had never scratched so hard that the instant it touched it my skin shredded into the bloody mixture coating my arms. The mixture wasn't just blood, it didn't have the smoothness of blood but instead the mixture was made form blood and shredded skin that left my arm with each scrape.

As I glared at my arm I couldn't help but feel stupid, I'm so pathetic.

I still felt incomplete, I wanted blood to trickle down my arm without so much effort, to just feel that sensation. I was no longer satisfied with the safety pin because now I wanted more. Pain, blood, wounds, relief and happiness I craved it but I know I won't get one of these things.

I frantically searched the confines of my room not daring to venture outside my door but everywhere I looked I saw nothing harmful or dangerous and that made an emotion fill me. Rage or sadness call it what you wish but as that emotion began to rise of slowly overflow then I lost it.

I had no idea why but the next moment I had rammed my face into the side of my bed frame and I didn't even consider the option of stopping when I began to hit the exact same spot over and over which happened to be a large bruise I had gotten during the fire and had been covered up by a white bandaid and with each new hit it stung more and more and at some point it began to bleed. More pain, more blood, more wounds,more relief but still no happiness.

Once I stopped I laid on my back on the wooden floor staring at the white ceiling, panting from holding back screams and running myself into object to the point where the impact causes it to bleed. I didn't feel relief now. As I carelessly lolled my head around my eyes landed on something so easy to overlook and so very common but it gave me an idea.

So I reached forward and grabbed it holding it, it had cute patterns in a variety of colours and looked so innocent and normal, not at all out of place. I lifted it over my head, ignore the voice in my brain loudly screaming

'IT'S THE CIRCLE OF LIFEEEEEEEEEEEE!'.

And with that though I smashed it into the ground sending a loud THUD through the room and there it was, broken and perfect, it almost looked to perfect like someone was going to pop up and yell "NOPE!" but there it was,IT was perfect.

And this 'it' was a sharpener and when I smashed it those small razors that trimmed the pencils were now free to be used by me. And used them I did, the proof for such was my entire body which in less than an hour had been covered in lines, innocent lines that just happened to leave long stinging pains and large amounts of blood sliding down my body.

'  I'm still not happy '.

Uraraka's POV      Saturday    8:30am

Gravity: Hey Deku are you ok? Todoroki said you went home early

Gravity: Deku if anyone is bullying you you can trust us to help you, cause that what friends do

Gravity: Hey Deku are you sleeping because I might try to call you in an hour

1 Missed Call

Gravity: I tried calling you, are you ok?

Gravity: Are you busy?

Gravity: I need to go to bed soon but I'm going to call you again

2 Missed Calls

3 Missed Calls

4 Missed Calls

Gravity: Ok I'm going to bed, hope you sleep well! Please text me tomorrow if you can

Gravity: Hey Deku, how are you?

Gravity: are you awake?

Gravity: hey i tried calling you before, did you miss it?

Gravity: Tsyu tried calling you are you ok?

Gravity: please i'm getting worried

Gravity: Deku your scaring me please it's not like you to not respond and you never have you phone on silent because your scared you'll miss something important

Gravity: Deku I'm getting really really worried

5 Missed Calls

6 Missed Calls

7 Missed Calls

8 Missed Calls

9 Missed Calls

Gravity: Deku, whatever your doing.... just please be safe, please? We'll talk when we go back to school on Monday, won't we? Yes I'll see you then!

Gravity: We all love you.      MESSAGE FAILED TO SEND

Todoroki's POV        Saturday        9:30

I didn't know what I really expected when I arrived home but I wasn't counting on seeing my Father in a dark grey business suit slowly approaching me the moment I set foot into the house. But the thing that truly shocked me was the fact that as soon as he saw me he didn't drag me off to train but instead me put a hand on my shoulder and began talking.

"Son I'm going off for an interview, you better still be home waiting for training" he took a pause as if to just bask in my silence before he lowered his tone and bent down to my height and whispered in my ear "Or else". His threat was further emphasis was he used his quirk on my shoulder, the weight of his ginormous hand pressing down the flames so they were now burning my pale skin.

I held back a hiss as he tightened his grip before slowly walking off and when I was finally sure he was gone I let out a quiet sigh of defeat and began marching off to my room.

'WHY DOES THIS FEEL SO FAMILIAR?' My mind echoed

'He's burned you many times, what's new this time?' My brain combated it's previous thought

But the internal battle of my thoughts didn't need to be answered as my mind instantly began to form the memory in my mind, the one that was so similar to today

FLASHBACK TIME!

It was a day like any other, I was 13 at the time and had just arrived home, well not 'just arrived considering I had gotten back from school a hour ago but only now was I free from my father's training and even though my side hurt form being slammed into a wall I didn't feel to bad, no one in school annoyed me today with questions about the number 2 hero so I was feeling great.

I had been so lost in thought I wasn't watching were I was going and instead of walking to a wall like most distracted people do I had subconsciously walked into my brother's room, Toya's room (I think that's his brothers name). He was a quiet kid, never Mum or Father's favourite considering how easy to overlook he was. His quirk was like our Fathers but on a more powerful scale, his quirk was flames partially like mine but they were a different colour to mine and I found them quite pretty looking.

I rarely got to see his quirk in action considering how weak it was, and that wasn't me being rude but an actual fact. His quirk drained him and you could see the pain growing on his face as his flames burned brighter and while Father was visiting a doctor to see how his quirk would be I heard them say "It is very possible in the next 5 years using your quirk in the slightest could be life-threatening from what he has displayed, It doesn't help that his own flames can burn him. I would suggest that he should refrain from using his quirk unless absolutely necesary". I didn't listen to anymore of their conversation yet later that night I listened to my brother's screams of agony as our Father showed his disappointment in 'his own way' but since then he was no longer trained like me but instead could have fun with my other siblings.

When our Mum was sent off it was like he disappeared, not literally but to everyone in our family and anyone who knew us he was non-existent. He was on longer mentioned in articles about Endeavor's 'Perfect' Family or seen in photos taken by paparazzi and if you asked anyone if Endeavor had a son called Toya everyone would say no. He was invisible to the world and our Father and at some point I'm sure he completely forgot about his son.

Toya stayed in his room, his 'safe haven' as he often phrased it and eventually his room became my safe haven too. I could hide in his room when Father was after me and he would always bandage me up during bad training sessions, he was never rude tome and though we didn't usually talk while in his room none of us minded. It was obvious that he hadn't been going to school for a long time or doing things need for the human body such as eating, sleeping and caring for hygiene and soon bags under his eyes became permanently etched onto his pale face.

I had a good day so I decided to tell him about it which I often did and eventually he began to encourage me talking to him about the good things that happened during the day,he even insisted on doing it on bad days saying things like "It's better to focus on the good parts (I accidentally wrote farts) of the day".

And when I opened the door I was greeted with the familiar yet uncommon light of Toya's fire, he hadn't noticed me so I watched him with curious eyes as he lowered his fingertips with dancing flames decorating them onto his pale, bare arm. The flames licked the skin until it reached something on his upper arm, scars. These scars didn't look like the scar I got from Mum on 'that day' or Father's training when he used fire but these scars were a dark purplish pink colour, unique, just like his flames, colourful, vibrant, unique and yet still dangerous for himself.

He had noticed me and when I asked him why he was harming himself he simply muttered "Stress relief...". I had never seen something like that done before but I old him not to do it anymore but I doubt the words of an oblivious kid would have ever helped him.

Since that day things had been so hectic my daily visits became weekly which then became fortnightly (Please to references to a CERTAIN GAME) and after weeks of not being able to really talked to him I decided to try to fit in talking to him tomorrow on my list of things I needed to do. It was very late so I knew I couldn't do it tonight so I comfortably settled for tomorrow, I was bored yet not in the mood to rest so I simply decided to stay outside where I would eventually fall asleep, Fuyumi didn't like me doing it though I didn't care at the current moment.

When I shut the sliding door behind me I turned to see Toya, he was wearing a long cloak like jacket, jeans and a plain shirt not at all what you would wear to bed. It was so dark I could barely see him but even in the almost pitch black dark I could see his hair, his hair wasn't red anymore like Father's but in the dark I couldn't tell what colour it now was but all I knew was that it blent perfectly into the dark night. His eyes glowed their usual bright blue shade so very similar to Father's eyes but Toya's always looked kinder but at this moment I now wasn't to sure. With the tiny glow form his eyes I could see his big dark eye bags under his eyes and even in the dark I realized the resemblance between his scars and his eyebags. His scars were slightly showing under his sleeves but not one single scar was on his hands per usual. But slowly burning across the grass in front of him were his flames slowly growing wider and longer but yet as I stood there are they grew bigger he did not seem in pain, he seemed clam and relaxed but why and how.

He didn't even bother to turn when he eventually noticed me and instead started explaining "If Father sees something as weak he throws it away, so if I were to become weak and my flames could possibly be fatal to me why would he continue training me" he lightly chuckled to himself as his flames began to form a structure like a wall towering in over him, it was large and noticeable not to mention even for me would use almost all of my energy "After all I'm 'weak', aren't I?".

He turned to look at me his gaze cold, he didn't waste any more words on me and simply walked away muttering "His fault..." leaving his flames to slowly burn the grass and die away. My brother, my ignored invisible brother had walked away, literally walked away from me and also away from his family and his life with us. In these last moments I could only notice how different Toya looked, he looked different because for once in his life he looked completely visible, like a shining spotlight. He no longer was invisible and then he was gone.

And on the day I accidentally walked to his door I relived those emotion of losing him and felt completely and utterly compelled to go in his room, I hadn't entered since he left but I knew Father moved nothing because he 'forgot' him, after Toya went missing Fuyumi, Natsuo and I told our Father but he acted as though he had never heard of him, I almost believed him ALMOST but the slight regret in his eyes was not something that he could get rid of and to me it was obvious he had ignored and tried to forget him, but not even someone like Endeavor can fully forget his son.

So I walked in and sat in front of Toya's mirror and stared at myself which I had not done in a long time, I had a blue sheet over my mirror ever since I got the scar because every time I looked at it I felt disgusting and the few times I did look at it in a mirror I had ended up scratching and clawing at it so instead I put a sheet over it so I didn't have to see that hideous scar but recently I was getting better at not attacking my face but I still had the sheet on the mirror in case it was a bad day and seeing myself would make it worse.

I remembered Toya's stress relief, I had coincidentally learned about self harm via the internet and had realized what my brother was doing. As I looked at myself I weighed the options, pros and cons but the pros far over weighed the cons so I simply 'stress relieved'. I had used my side where I had gotten slammed into the wall earlier and as flames devoured my hip I could only notice how ugly my flames looked and once they had burnt out I saw how disgusting my wound looked, not unique like Toya's just an ugly scar like the one on my face. I couldn't help but wonder if he though his scars were unique or ugly?

Going to Toya's room and stress relieving became a common thing that I did often and it continued on for years, I had been very careful not to make them obvious and no one ever noticed. I did it until I got to UA, it wasn't an easy decision or change and at the time I was so convinced that stopping would just make everything worse and whether it did or not I'm still not sure but with Midoriya's kind word and the overload of supporting peers I knew I felt better I still feel so in debt to them because they unknowingly helped me through rough times and I doubted I could ever pay them back for it.

END OF DA FLASHBACK

I miss Toya, he was family but UA is now my family and he had the choice to leave and he did just that but so far no one form UA has done that. And just now I couldn't help but be reminded by how much guilt I felt for not being so stop Toya but now I had the chance to save someone and yet I still blow it.

I had realized I was yet again unconsciously walking to my room but I didn't bother to stop and continued walking in a slow unenthusiastic pace. I opened my door and flopped onto my bad in a lazy manner and laid there in silence with my eyes shut  tightly in an attempt to block out the world around me until I felt someone flicking my head in a pattern which soon became an music like pattern of flicking noises.

I finally opened my eyes,    SWEARING WARNING IN CASE YOU WANT TO SKIP, HAVE A GOOD DAY!

and there was Kizuku in all of his bandaged glory. "You fucked up" he simply stated in an accusing manner, I didn't respond because no matter how I responded or defended myself he was right, I fucked up.

I tilted my head to the side and stared at the wall careful not to let any emotions show "Sho you had one job, one chance and one life to save and you might have fucked it all up!" his tone was mad but the effort behind his anger wasn't strong, he might not have known but he definitely wasn't completely mad at me.

NO MORE SWEARING

"Fix it" he demanded "Go see him, you have a day 'til he dies so go visit him and fix it", I finally gave up on being silent and turned to face him "I would if I could! I don't know where the foster home thingy is and he won't respond to anyone's texts, mine included so how do I find him" I shouted in annoyance he then gave me a 'I know more that you look' "You have the address don't you?". He vigorously nodded, I let out a final sigh before standing up with Kizuku already cheerfully skipping ahead in a manner that even a small kid would find childish.

I followed after him muttering under my breath "This pervy, childish moron....".

But this pervy, childish moron is currently my only hope.

A/N: Hello my wondrous readers the next chapter will be a bonus chapter featuring KIRIBAKUUUUUUU! It is summer in Australia and yesterday I went to the pool and now I'm going again and will probably get sunburnt, don't get sunburnt readers always wear sunscreen because otherwise you will regret it! :)

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