The Darker Side Of The Moon
Book 4 of The Black Moon series
Chapter 40: I'm Ready

Jeremy's POV – Thursday 12 November 2015

His broad chest is so comfortable, allowing me to feel his powerful muscles.

His warmth is chasing away the cold within me.

His heartbeat against my face is soothing all my anxieties, telling me how eager he is.

His strong arms wrapped around my frame are reassuring.

His hands brushing all over my back are appeasing.

I feel relaxed, in peace with myself tonight for the first time in months. Tonight is the night. The night I will offer myself to the man I love.

He needs it.

I need it.

I'm ready.

" I think... No, I'm sure... that I'm ready to... make love..."

There. The words are out. No regret, no shame, no fear. Just a bit of apprehension but I entirely trust Gary to guide me through this new step.

I have been rehearsing this moment in my head for the past two or three days, wondering which would be the best way to bring up my desire to make love. My initial idea was to show Gary... Ever since that afternoon on the beach almost two weeks ago, he has been preparing me for the full deed, the one where I would let his big monster penetrate me to speak crudely. More romantically speaking, I would say he has been working with pleasant sensations on different parts of my anatomy, getting me ready to finally make love with him.

Feeling something probe at my entrance was certainly one of my worst worries, even if it was hidden behind other insecurities, but Andrei's ways did forge fears within me. Despite Timmy's advice and my capability to relax when it was required, there was only so much I could do to loosen up. Just enough to avoid bad damage after being fucked without preparation, but it was still horribly painful. Of course, I know Gary would never do anything like this to me, Andrei was a sick bastard with a fetish for tight assholes, but my body still remembers the fifteen times he fucked me.

And yet, my saint of a lover has been as perfect as ever over the past two weeks, slowly showing me how good it can feel down there, progressively and patiently working on my fears. From the brush of his thumb along the crack of my ass, it went to further teasing. Each time he gave me head, his fingers would become a little more insistent on my closed hole, making me rediscover these delicious sensations. As days went by, there was the tip of a finger poking inside, then a knuckle, then two, then the whole finger until it reached my sweet spot and made me stars.

This is all thanks to Gary's extreme patience and because he always finds the perfect words to assuage my anxieties each time I need them. He is just perfect.

With this gentle progression, I have been able to slowly readapt to more intimate touches, which has allowed my brain to tone down the painful physical memories I had. They are still here, somewhere at the back of my head, which is why I still have a bit of apprehension, but sweeter ones are now overpowering them, making me feel like I am ready to take this next step.

But it's not only that. There is also all the work around the book I am writing. The last chapter I wrote was dealing with a very sweet memory and it also helped a lot. Funnily enough, this is a souvenir I already had about a month ago, the day I convinced Gary to stay home instead of flying to Chicago and I made my first attempt at blowing him. At that moment, I remembered our first date as lovers, only a few weeks after we began our first contract, and I decided to describe this scene in the book. This was also the first time Gary made love to me in his bed, not in the playroom of his house, and it was amazing. Digging into this memory in the last few days for more details brought up quite intense emotions which have pushed me even harder toward my decision.

And lastly, something happened this afternoon... Something that almost had my heart explode with love.

Gary was supposed to return home in the early afternoon, so after four long days of separation, and being more than eager to see him, I told his mother I would go back home in the late morning. I honestly enjoyed myself with her, and I truly appreciated her kindness, but I couldn't wait to be home and with Gary. Unfortunately, he had to stop by his father's office, which upset me a little at first, but then I decided to take things positively. I finished my chapter since it was still early in the day and only involved nice memories, which already put me in a bright mood.

Then I could have gotten back to my renovation works in the living room, but I decided to rearrange our walk-in closet instead, because some of our clothes looked a bit messy, especially mine. Going through Gary's stuff, I found a little blue box which held the name of a famous jewelry shop in Chicago. This obviously teased my curiosity and I couldn't resist opening it.

In the little case was a beautiful engagement ring, made of silver or maybe palladium, a combination of matt and polished finish with a central groove strip. Just beautifully simple. Or simply beautiful.

I don't know how long I remained staring at the ring, mouth gaping open and thoughts filling my head. The ring had obviously been bought in Chicago, but Gary hadn't been there since we arrived in London. So when did he buy it? Though the biggest question was: for whom did he buy it? Had he lied to me and met someone else in my absence? Not that I would hold any grudge against him because it would have been fair, but I couldn't help a little pinch in my heart all the same.

Maybe I shouldn't have, but I still pulled the jewel out of its socket and that's when I noticed the engraving that melted my heart right away.

G & J Forever

Gary and Jeremy Forever.

Wow... This sounded so good. The warmth in my heart only increased when I started wondering when he could have bought it. I doubted it was after my return to Chicago and it could only be before. I couldn't imagine him buying it while I was absent – because who knows? I might have never returned. Then that meant he had bought it before my abduction...

At that moment, I remembered the last night we spent together before I was stolen from him. It did imply a punishment in the evening, but this was followed by very sweet sex, both of us kneeling, with my back to his front, and it was just delicious. Yet, the best part came a bit later. Even if I was already drowsing off, I clearly heard him say I love you, Jer, for the first time ever.

Tears filled my eyes at this beautiful memory because I could still hear the intensity in his voice when he said the three magic words.

Words that I didn't return back then.

Words that I wanted to return the following day, during my lunchbreak.

Words that I couldn't return because that's when I was stolen from my man.

I quickly pulled myself through after this realization, but it kept nagging at my thoughts for the rest of the afternoon. Gary had certainly wanted to propose at some point!

My decision was quickly made from there. It's not as if I didn't know it before. I always knew Gary loved me, I had had more than enough evidence over the last three months. I also knew he loved me before I was kidnapped, but I hadn't gathered it was that deep! We had never spoken about marriage and I was far from imagining he was ready for something so serious back then. Yet I was wrong, it seemed, and it overwhelmed me with such intense emotions.

It was like an epiphany. I understood that if Gary suddenly proposed me, I wouldn't have an ounce of hesitation before accepting, though I would insist on something simple. This man is just everything to me and I couldn't live without him. I have so much trust in him, I would just commit him with my life and future.

Most of my fears flew away with this thought and I knew I was ready. The only question left was to find out how I would let him know and like I said, I thought I could show him. I was pretty sure Gary would be horny enough to want some sort of sex tonight and I would pass the message one way or the other. So I gathered my courage and went out to buy a few things... groceries and an enema bulb...

Yes, it required a lot of courage on my side and involved a lot of blushing in front of the vendor, but I made it and the device is waiting for me upstairs, hidden in a drawer of the bathroom. This is all I really needed. Condoms won't be necessary as Gary got himself tested for STDs last week, even if it was kind of useless since he didn't have any interaction with anyone in my absence.

While I was cooking our dinner, my heart kept beating faster and faster. There was still apprehension but mostly a lot of eagerness and when Gary arrived, I had a hard time reigning in my emotions. I just couldn't help jumping at him, completely driven by my sudden lust for more and my love for him.

And when he came back downstairs after his shower, sexy as ever, even in sweatpants and a tee-shirt, I felt a huge urge for tenderness. In the meantime, I had prepared the table for a romantic dinner, hoping it would set him in the mood. I think it surprised him more than anything else. He was clearly dumbfounded and I found it so cute I just had to go and hug him.

Now that I have just said the words, I feel his body tense a bit against mine and his hands stop rubbing my back. I wonder what is going through his head at the moment, but the bulge I can feel swelling and hardening against my lower belly tells me that this is not only about worrying for me or my mental health.

"I really am, Gary..." I whisper. "Are you doubting me?" I add after a few more seconds of silence.

"No... it's just... It's so sudden... and it was blunt..." he stutters, pulling back a little and cupping my face to make me look into his eyes – his beautiful and lustful brown eyes.

"I've thought about it a lot in the last few days, you can trust me. Exactly like I trust you to... do this slowly..." I say, because I know he needs to hear some explanations.

Of course, I'm not going to mention the ring that I put back exactly where it was, I will patiently wait for him to show it to me. When he is ready.

"I think the last two weeks have been enough preparation. I truly want it now. I... I know you'll make me feel good..."

"Oh Baby... I love you so much and I'm so grateful for you to trust me like this..." he whispers with a lot of emotion in his voice before he begins to kiss me. A long and passionate kiss, yet full of affection and reassurance. "I think we should have dinner first... before it gets burnt..."

That makes me chuckle and I feel a little awkward as we part and bring the dishes to the table. However, we both have so much to tell each other about the last four days that dinner takes place in a comfortable atmosphere. I'm glad he was able to see Aaron and it's nice to hear about all our friends from over there. I don't think he tells me everything, but I don't mind, there are details I may not be ready to hear. I feel bad for Liam and Noah because I haven't kept in touch with them. I'm not too sure about why I have been refraining from them, and it saddens me, but as Gary asks me about all I did with his mother, I soon recover my joyfulness.

"Do you mind... taking care of the table while I go... prep upstairs?" I ask, blushing deeply, once we're done eating the apple pie I baked. Gary arches his eyebrows, looking at me suspiciously. "You know... I need just a bit of privacy to..."

"Where did you find a kit?" he asks.

"I went to buy one... this afternoon..." I reply meekly, feeling like my face might provide heat for the entire house.

"Jeez... You'll never cease to amaze me, Baby... Go ahead! I'll be with you shortly," he then says, pecking my lips and beginning to clear the table.

With a shy smile, I turn around and head upstairs, my heart beating faster than it ever has. Once naked in the bathroom and after having stopped by the toilets, I grab the bulb, fill it with mild water and push the nuzzle back on. I stare at the device in my hands for the longest time, thinking that I haven't done that to myself since... last June, before Noah arrived. Before that, it was Timmy who was in charge of performing my enemas – and I his... This was so sick... Remembering my late friend brings tears to my eyes and I begin to sob.

"I don't think you're ready for this, Baby," Gary whispers with his softest voice, suddenly by my side and pulling me into a tight hug.

"Yes!! Yes, I am..."

"You're obviously not, Jer..."

"Yes, I want to do this... I want you to make love to me..." I insist.

"But these tears..."

"They have nothing to do with this... I just... I just remembered Timmy and..."

"Oh, Baby... I'm so sorry..." he says, tightening his hold around me and comforting me with gentle caresses all over my back. Gary knows all the details of what happened during my captivity, but I wonder if he really understands where my distress comes from. "Just take your time, Jer... And if you don't want to use the enema, we can do without it..."

I guess he understood then, but that's Gary we're talking about, so this is not so surprising. However, I quickly relax in his hold and once I feel better, I reassure him and eventually kick him out the bathroom, promising I won't be long. Between deep breaths and my determination to make this a successful night, I finally manage to perform my enema and after a quick but thorough shower – not forgetting to trim my pubes – I shyly walk back into the room, only wearing a towel around my waist.

Gary has taken his clothes off, though he kept his black boxer briefs on, and he is lying on his right side on the bed. His taut body, with his rather tanned skin and all the muscles in the right places, doesn't miss to make my little soldier swell, quickly forming the beginning of a tent at the front of my crotch. But more importantly, his warm smile and all the encouragement he gives off provide me with the reassurance I need to go and lay beside him on my back. His lips immediately crash on mine and it doesn't take long before our hands begin to roam on each other's bodies.

His focus on my sides, my belly and my thighs while mine caress his face, his neck and his shoulders. Our tongues dance in the sweetest way, brushing lightly against each other, once in his mouth, once in mine. There is no fight for dominance, it's just a perfectly gentle exchange of saliva. Soon enough, Gary's body is hovering over me, but our kiss doesn't break before a long moment... A moment when he slightly pulls back and stares down at me with intensity, as if he was trying to read my mind.

"I'm really ready..." I murmur in a barely audible voice, struck by the depth of his gaze. "Please, just be gentle..."

"Of course, I will, Baby... I'll make you the sweetest love... Just you and me... And I want you to relish in the sensations..." he murmurs between pecks, humping his hard-on against my thigh and I already relax at the deep sound of his voice. "I just want to make you feel good... No pain, just pleasure... No restraint on what you feel... Just come as many times as you want..."

With another peck on my lips, Gary begins a slow and delicious trail of kisses from my right ear, along my jaw, to my chin and then down my neck, insisting on my Adam's apple and the junction between my collarbones. This makes me moan with pleasure as he shifts a little so as not to crush me with his weight before he begins his slow descent to my chest. When the tip of his tongue begins to tease my left nipple, transforming it into an erected little bud, a shiver courses through me and hits me straight in the groin.

"Ngh... Feels good..."

"Enjoy, Baby..."

Delightful tingles spread through my lower belly when he takes care of the right one and my cock reaches its hardest state, poking against his chest. It gets even better as he continues his way down, stopping by my navel that he licks playfully, chuckling at my own giggles while one of his hands surreptitiously begins to undo the towel, revealing my leaking erection. I feel proud when he discovers my trimmed privates and utters a deep Oh nice. My fingers have been running through his hair, gently massaging his scalp, but my hands fly off to grip the bedsheet when I suddenly feel the wetness and warmth of his mouth around my manhood, and I hiss to contain my orgasm when he starts bobbing up and down.

To no avail though because after only a few round trips, with Gary's lustful eyes locked with mine, a ball of fire erupts from my groin and straight into his mouth. I am seized by amazing quivers that just won't stop thanks to Gary still running his lips around my girth. This feels so good that my cock barely softens, even more so as he gently grabs the back of my knees to spread my legs further open and bend them, slightly lifts them up and releases some of my juices underneath my scrotum, letting the substance run along the crack of my ass before he lets my feet back on the mattress. Damn! Why does he have to make it so hot?

With a smile, he reaches for my back entrance and begins to softly probe it. I am still trying to recover from my first orgasm, but these further sensations don't help my heartbeat to slow down. Gary is kneeling between my parted legs, and while the index finger of his right hand uses the slickness of my cum to make its way inside my hole, his left hand keeps brushing my thigh. His soothing and encouraging words allow me to relax fairly easily, like it has been the case in the last two weeks. After a few minutes of thrusting his finger in and out, Gary grabs a bottle of lube and pours some on his hand, that he smears along my cleft before he inserts two digits.

"Relax, Babe..." he says, leaning over me with his left hand on my right side, which allows me to grab his face and pull him down for a kiss.

Feeling his tongue waltz with mine somehow makes me forget about the minor sting down there, which quickly disappears in any case. The addition of a third finger is a different story though and I can't suppress a whimper at that moment.

"Jer, Jer... shhhh... Look at me, Babe... Open your eyes..."

As I do so, I am met with two beautiful and ardent brown orbs that try to convey all the love their owner feels for me. At least, this is what I read in them.

"Yes, relax, Baby... That's it... You're doing great... Loosen up that ring of muscles for me..."

His words truly help but what gets me to completely relax is when he moves back and, never breaking eye contact, his mouth returns to my erection, swallowing it greedily.

"Oh my God... Gary... Stop or I'm..." I breathe out just as another orgasm is about to wash over me.

"You want me to stop?" he interrupts me, stopping all his moves.

"Ugh nooooo!! Go ahead!!!" I whine as a plea.

"That's what I thought..." he chuckles, before he returns to my preparation.

The short pause has at least calmed down my impending climax, so I revel in the pleasure of all the tingles I feel down there. His three fingers eventually feel really good as they stretch my hole, making me remember how enjoyable a penetration can be. Seeing Gary put such fervor in pleasuring me only adds to the reassurance he brings me, unleashing another powerful orgasm that I scream loudly, with my hole clenching around his fingers.

"You're so beautiful when you come, Baby..." he says when he finally lets go of my limp member.

"If you say so..." I pant, trying to catch up my breath. "I think I'm good to go..."

"I think you are indeed..." he smirks, slowly retrieving his slick fingers from my hole.

He briefly gets off the bed to remove his boxer briefs, allowing his huge erection to spring free. I truly have a moment of doubt when he strokes it with more lube, but my fears get quickly tamed as he comes back over me, showering my face with more kisses after he has slipped a pillow beneath my lower back.

"Jer... I promise to go very slow but I want you to tell me if I hurt you or if you need me to slow down or pull out at some point, okay?"

"I trust you..." I reply, leaning up a bit to catch his lips.

He has slid his hands under my back, embracing me tightly yet not crushing me under his weight, and my hands are wrapped on the sides of his neck. I can feel his heart beat against my chest and I'm pretty sure he can feel mine as well. My love muscle seems like it's about to explode with the strongest emotions I have ever had. I just love him so much... Throughout our kiss, I have closed my eyes to revel in the sensations but when I feel the head of his erection poke at my entrance, images of Andrei forcing himself in pop behind my eyelids, making me freeze, whine and clench my hole.

"Jer, open your eyes, Baby... Open your eyes for me!" Gary quickly says. "Look at me... Don't close your eyes and keep them on me... See? It's only me... I'm not going to hurt you, Baby... I'm going to pleasure you... Feel my arms around you?"

I nod and peck his lips one more time. I know I can do this. This is Gary above me, the most patient and tender man in the world, the one who has been healing me from my traumas. And I love him. I trust him like I have never trusted anyone else.

"I'm going to push in... very slowly, Baby..."

I nod again and, eyes still locked, I feel the bigger part of his cock pass the ring of muscles in my ass. His shushing sounds and little pecks on my lips help me to relax and allow him inside. Once the head is in, the rest slides in quite easily and I soon forget about the sting when the tip comes to brush against my sweet spot.

"Oh God... It feels so good to be inside you, Baby..." he groans after a whole minute of intense staring, burying his face in the crook of my neck. "I've missed this... Just tell me when I can move..."

"Go ahead... I'm okay now..."

"You're sure?" he asks with concern, popping back into my sight.

I wrap my legs around his hips and pull him back down for a kiss as an answer. Gary gets the message and begins to rock back and forth, ever so slowly, allowing me more time to adjust, but I am truly feeling good. There is still a slight discomfort due to his girth but the tickle against my prostate largely overpowers it and I am soon a moaning mess. He breaks our kiss after barely a minute, tilting his head a couple of inches away from my face, but only to stare at me. His eyes are saying so much, and I don't know what he can read in mine, but all I can see is love between our intense looks as he thrusts back and forth.

My own cock has recovered its full hardness thanks to the delightful sensations inside my rectum, so I timidly slip a hand between our chests, almost seeking for his approval. Gary rolls his eyes at me as a silent answer and slightly shifts to allow more space between our bodies. As he picks up speed, I wrap my fingers around my shaft and begin to stroke it, in sync with his pounds. A new fire is building in my lower belly, tightening my balls but I strive to hold it the best I can.

"I'm soon going to come, Baby... Can't hold it much longer..." he breathes out after a few minutes.

"Me tooooooooo!" I squeal just as more streams of semen erupt from my cock. I can't help my muscles from clenching around his shaft and this seems to be his undoing.

"Ngh fuuuuuuuuck!" he screams, crashing his lips on mine with a last thrust.

I feel his member pulse, delivering all his juices deep inside of me. And God it lasts forever... My own orgasm has thrown me into space, making me feel all dizzy with bliss.

Damn!!! I had forgotten how great making love could be. How pleasurable a penetration could be. It seems like all the bad memories are fading away. Not completely, but at least they're slowly getting replaced with better ones, allowing fonder souvenirs to emerge as well.

A few months back, I never thought I would ever manage to overcome what I endured during seventeen months. I was scared to the deepest and yet, I have just enjoyed one of the sweetest love I was ever given. As I hold on tight to Gary while we both recover from our high, I realize that this is all thanks to him. He has managed to heal me... not entirely yet, but I am on the right path toward recovery under his guidance and his affection. This is such a progression between last August and now... My heart swells and tears start filling my eyes before uncontrollable sobs seize me. I am just too happy!

"Jer...? Are you hurting?" Gary exclaims, pulling out of me and rolling us to our sides. "I'm sorry, Baby..."

"Don't!!" I stutter, cupping his face and leaning forward to kiss him. "Don't... I'm all good, I swear!"

"Why are you crying then?" he asks warily, and I hate this concern in his eyes. I want him to understand that I'm just overwhelmed by my emotions.

"These are happy tears... I just want to thank you for everything you're doing for me..." I say, looking at him intensely before the next words eventually come out for the first time. "I love you, Gary... I love you so much..."

Tears pool in his eyes at my words, strong emotions passing over his face.

"I love you too, Jeremy... More than anything in the world."

Published on 10 April 2018

So, as I was saying, Jeremy was ready and thanks to Gary's help and gentleness, it all went well :) And now that Jer has discovered the ring Gary had bought, you can easily imagine what the next chapter will be about...

Talking about next chapter: the big move is coming this weekend, which means I have a lot of preparation to do this week and that I'll certainly be off Wattpad again on Saturday and Sunday, but if I can, I'll try to edit it and publish it either on Thursday or Saturday. Then, as a FYI, after reading all your comments in the past couple of chapters, I have decided to add a new one after Chapter 41, but I need to write it. This is the one that should come up on Tuesday next week, so I'll try to have it ready by then ;)

Meanwhile, have a great week!