The Darker Side Of The Moon
Book 4 of The Black Moon series
Chapter 33: Crucial Decision

Gary's POV – Tuesday 15 September 2015

The last couple of days have been difficult.

Between Jeremy's little stunt on Sunday and the visit to the cemetery, needless to say the atmosphere has been quite straining. All in all, I believe that pulling everything off his chest and meditating at Timmy's grave helped a little, even if I can't see the results yet.

Unfortunately, despite all the reassurance I've tried to convey, Jeremy has retreated into his shell. He does help if I ask him to set the table or cook for instance, but he spends the rest of his time brooding on the couch. He hasn't had another intense nightmare like Saturday night, but his sleep is obviously restless and very agitated. He whimpers a lot, mumbles incoherent words and keeps writhing in his sleep. I believe my cuddles and comforting whispers keep the nightmares at bay, but that's clearly not enough.

Yet, things could have been worse after this terrible weekend. I was scared the visit to the cemetery would trigger horrible nightmares and screams, seeing how difficult it was to pull Jeremy away from Timmy's grave. He knelt there for nearly an hour, whispering words I couldn't decipher, and all I could do was to support and comfort him with hugs and gentle caresses. The return home wasn't easier as Jeremy barely touched his lunch, and although he told me how thankful he was, for Timmy it didn't prevent him from brooding all afternoon long and until he went to bed at night.

Camden and Joshua had sent me texts to call them whenever I could, but I wasn't able to do so until Jeremy had left. Of course, they wanted an update after the fiasco of the boys' encounter on Saturday, so I reassured them the best I could. I was glad to hear that they managed to soothe Noah and Liam though, and we all agreed to wait for Jeremy to get really better before they all meet again.

Having quite a lot of work on my side, I still spend most of the time in my study but at least I manage to work from home, keeping the door open so that I can watch over him. Well, except on Monday morning when I had to attend at least the beginning of the business review meeting in the office, but I made it quick and was back home before noon. I trust Bruce to give me a detailed report of the three-day meeting later and we can still discuss thorny matters over the phone.

This morning, I tried to drag Jeremy for a run outside, thinking that a bit of physical activity would do him some good. It's not about him getting back the nice muscles he had. Despite his protests in the past, he had gotten used to working out and admitted it helped him to free his mind of worries. Running can be soul-liberating, so I thought it could help him again. However, there was nothing I could do to convince him, and it ended up with another fight, him going back to bed and me being pissed beyond measure.

It's getting harder and harder to keep my inner dominant at bay, and he was close to pull out when Jer started to yell back at me this morning. It really took a lot of self-control not to order him to strip, bend over the bed and spank him. I was only an inch from fucking up which is why I decided to go out on my own. The hour I spent running in the quiet streets of Naperville allowed me to let some of the steam off, as did the long shower I took afterwards.

This is getting hard, though. I wish I could use the power I used to have over him, but I know I can't, at least not to the fullest. I just hate seeing him draw back again when there was a bit of progress last week. Now I can only hope that his appointment with Dr. Graff tomorrow will help, but the thing is that I'm convinced something is missing in his healing, something crucial that I haven't been able to pinpoint so far.

I speak a lot with my parents and Jeremy's, and they are all great encouraging supports to me, but right now, I need someone I could vent my anxieties to. Aaron Cox has always been one of my best friends here in Chicago, an attentive ear and a good advisor. Over the past two weeks, we have often talked over the phone or through texts, but this time, I need to have him face to face. Besides, I'm sure he could help me sort my thoughts out and even suggest new ideas to guide Jeremy on the path of recovery.

Jer is still sulking, pretending to sleep, when I get out of the bathroom, so as soon as I return to my office, I call Aaron and ask him if he'd be available for lunch. I guess my tone worries him a bit and he immediately accepts, even offering to meet me at Sullivan's, the best steakhouse in my town. I hate leaving Jeremy alone – even if the guard watches over him – but I truly need this breather and I shouldn't be long since I don't have to drive to Chicago.

It's half past noon when I arrive on the parking lot of the restaurant, and Aaron is already here. After the usual bear hugs, my friend and I head inside the steakhouse, where the waiter leads us to a quiet area of the room. I've always loved the warm and cozy atmosphere of this place, and their food is just amazing.

"Thank you so much for having accepted the invitation on such a short notice, Aaron..." I say once the waiter has left.

"My pleasure, Gary, and seeing how awful you look, I have a feeling you needed a break from all the stress," he replies with concern.

"Yeah... Still I hope you didn't have any obligations at the club?"

"I just have a Dom training at 3:30, so we have plenty of time," he replies with a wink.

"Mmm... Is some guy going to have his cherry popped?" I ask in a smug tone, knowing full well what these trainings involve.

This is impressive. I've been around Aaron for barely five minutes and I'm already feeling better, smiling at the way he chuckles and wriggles his eyebrows.

"Nope, not today. This is the guy's first session, so it's all about theory, introduction of the lifestyle, general rules, policies of the club, safety and so on. But practice will come soon enough..." he trails off, his eyes sparkling with wit.

"You love that, don't you?" I smirk.

"You know I do, Gary... I mean, I love all my little buddies and their slim bodies, but damn! Fucking a nice hunk is great too! At least, those who accept..."

"Well, it's all a question of tastes I guess. I've always had a thing for twinks and I've never been with big tall guys before. But I can imagine you can be attracted to both types of males..."

"I've always loved all types of men, tall, small, lean, bulky, but I think it's mostly due to... the way I started in the lifestyle," he replies with a bit of nostalgia in his voice.

"Can't say... You've never told me much about your past or what happened in LA..."

"True..." he sighs.

The sparkle of an epiphany suddenly darkens the chocolate of his irises and something seems to click in Aaron's mind. He has always been quite secretive about his past. All I know is that he was born and raised in New Jersey, where he met Mark, Camden and Joshua, before he moved to Los Angeles and discovered the BDSM lifestyle at an early age, but I have no idea about the hows and whys he was led on such a path. However, my guess is that there must have been some traumas.

I can't tell what happens exactly, but Aaron suddenly opens up and tells me a little more about him. Throughout the first half-hour of our lunch, he unveils the darker sides of his past, and although he avoids the worst details, he provides me with a better glimpse on how tragic events and a zealous family led him to flee toward California, where he met Ivan. I had already heard about the man of course, I knew he was Aaron's mentor, but I didn't know he'd been his savior, protector, guide and much, much more.

Sadly, this is another story that didn't end well and that pushed him to move to Chicago to start a new life, which I already knew more or less, but all these revelations give me a better insight on the man he really is, his reluctance to settle down with anyone, but above all, I now understand how he became the great Master Dom he is. I'm sincerely honored by these confidences, even if deep down, they have the foreshadowing taste of an impending separation that I can't explain.

"How did the reopening of the Black Diamond go, by the way?" I then ask to lighten the atmosphere.

I am suddenly missing the club, and the realization is a bit painful since I might never go back there. How weird is it that I didn't have any problem dropping the lifestyle when Jeremy disappeared and now that he is back, its intense ambiance tickles me a bit more?

"Oh, it was great! Everything went well, and it seems like all the members love the new installations. The Subs love their new room upstairs, and I think the two private showrooms will have a lot of success," he replies cheerfully.

"What about your new apartment? Don't you feel like you never leave the club now that you live above it?"

"Naaah. Once I'm inside the apartment, it really feels like home since I had it decorated and furbished to my tastes. And contrary to what the guys feared, I'm spending more time at home than inside the club now since I no longer have to commute. I can also go rest whenever I want to, and things will get even better once I have recruited a new Master Dom to help with the training of Doms and Subs."

"Oh, I didn't know you were going to recruit one! Sounds like a great idea!"

"I've been thinking about it for a while now. You know how the guys used to help me lot in the past, but Josh settled down with Liam almost two years ago, then Mark did, and Cam too. They all have busy professional careers, and they have Subs to tend to, especially after the July events, so they no longer have time to train new members, which is only fair. And with the Diamond expanding, I think that another Master Dom will be nice."

"Have you found one already?"

"No, not yet. I'm actually looking for a real second-in-command. Someone I can trust with more than just training, so I'm taking my time because I really want to choose the right person..." he explains thoughtfully.

"Fair enough. Plus that might allow you to settle down..." I tease him, knowing how much he hates this subject.

"Ugh, not you too, Gary!"

"Just joking, Aaron," I chuckle. "But honestly, should you meet the right guy, don't let the opportunity pass. I understand your fears, but what happened in LA shouldn't keep you from living your own life..."

"Yeah, maybe... We'll see," he replies with a shrug of his shoulders.

Whatever Aaron usually says about how great it is to be single and to fuck as many Subs as he wants, I'm certain that seeing all his best friends settle down one after the other must be triggering him. Of course, the Black Moon and the Black Diamond keep him busy, and he has a fair choice of men to hook up with, but however strong or cheerful he wants to show off, I bet he must be lonely the rest of time. Even if Subs often spend the night with him, it's not the same as building a solid relationship with someone you love, and Aaron does deserve the affection he truly needs.

"Anyway, that's enough about me! You looked concerned earlier, so how is it going with Jeremy?" he then asks more seriously.

"Not too well, actually..." I sigh, before I tell him how Jer has been retreating into his shell for the past three days. "To be honest, I'm at a loss as to what I could do. I hate seeing him suffer like this, and it makes me feel so useless..."

"You're anything but useless, Gary," Aaron snorts. "I don't know many men who would have had such patience and dedication as you have. We all knew it would be a long and difficult road, and you've done great so far!"

"Except that his progress has stalled, and I even feel like we're on the edge of another slope after what happened last weekend..." I sigh.

"It's just a little step back, Gary, nothing you can't resolve with the therapist. Just give it a bit more time and he'll return to his slow progression."

"I hope so, but sometimes, I just don't know how to handle him. Dr. Graaf is great and he's given me a lot of advice and pointers, but I don't know... I feel like I'm missing something. Perhaps I should call Camden and see how he dealt with Noah exactly..."

"No, no, no. You can't do that, Gary. You just can't compare Jeremy and Noah. First, their captivity was not the same. Noah was held for only two weeks," he explains, wincing and using his fingers to make quotation marks, "while Jeremy was there for a year and a half. I'm not minimizing what Noah endured during these two weeks, but I've seen the police reports too, and Jeremy went through many more tortures than Noah, so the trauma is deeper. Besides, Noah is a masochist who embraced the lifestyle further than Jeremy did and who needs the pain associated to it, at higher levels.

"Cam really had a hard time in the beginning, because he thought Noah only needed tenderness, and he's so stubborn that it was even harder to make him understand that his Baby needed his Daddy. But once he pulled out his Sadist cards, things started getting better. It's still not easy every day, but they're getting there, because Noah needs Cam's strongest dominance and the pain he can inflict to him. Jer doesn't need that, and as far as I can remember, he always had a low tolerance to pain."

"True, but the Dominant card worked last weekend... Perhaps I could push it a bit further?"

"You're missing that, aren't you?" Aaron comments warily.

"A bit," I admit with a sigh. "I can live without it, but I miss some aspects of the lifestyle. I like to have control over him. I like everything that goes with it, like dominance, authority, guidance... the bliss to see someone move on through the decisions you make..."

"I understand... Then try to push it further..."

"You just said I shouldn't!" I chuckle.

"No, I said you can't compare Jeremy and Noah, or Camden and you. For sure, you must forget about the most violent and sexual aspects of BDSM because Jer is obviously traumatized by the torture and sexual abuse he went through during his captivity. Which wasn't Noah's case. It might take weeks or months before you can even have vanilla sex with him..."

"I know, Aaron..."

"I know you know but please, let me finish. Even if Jeremy and Noah are very different, they both are Submissives. Jer is ages from returning to the lifestyle – and in a way, I believe that meeting Noah and Liam was way too soon – but he still has it deep down. Jeremy began to bloom in BDSM when he met you and understood how much he needed your guidance. Right now, there are too many things scaring him, he's incapable of knowing what's good for him or not, but what I'm sure of is that he needs your comfort, your safety and your reassurance. And above all, he needs you to make the right decisions for him."

"That's everything I've tried to do so far, Aaron... It's just difficult to find the right balance, and I don't know what sort of decisions I could make."

"Well... I've been thinking of something actually. How does Jeremy feel at home and in the neighborhood? Is he comfortable?"

"I think he's rather okay, although... now that you mention it, some things seem to disturb him," I reply as several images and ideas pop inside my head. "I've put a huge sticker on the playroom door, but I know he always hurries past it. I also always avoid the neighborhood where he was abducted, but whenever we go out, even by car, he always gets nervous, peering all around him, and I think he's afraid to see the fucker stalking us..."

"Maybe you should look for a different environment then, if you see what I mean..." Aaron trails off.

"Like a new house?"

"A new house, a different town... I think it helped Noah too when he and Cam moved into my former apartment downtown Chicago. Whatever you do, Jeremy has too many memories in Naperville, good ones, but also bad ones. You should consider moving to another place. There are nice areas further north of Chicago. Look at Northbrook where Joshua and Liam live, it's a beautiful town too..."

What Aaron says completely makes sense and I should have thought about it earlier. Having a new place would be like a new start!

Throughout the rest of our lunch, Aaron and I keep talking about Jeremy, then about the investigation which hasn't gone anywhere as far as Andrei or his henchmen are concerned unfortunately, but I'm feeling myself getting more and more disconnected. My mind is already brewing ideas about what a potential change of environment could mean.

Changing houses would be very easy. I love the beautiful mansion I bought in Naperville, and I'd certainly miss it, but for Jer, I'm ready to try anything.

A new town? This shouldn't be a problem either. Like Aaron said, there are plenty of nice towns in Illinois, and Northbrook is definitely one of them.

However, my brain is taking things much further and...

Yeah! Aaron is right! Jeremy needs a new environment and I'll give him one. My neurons are already working at full speed, making calculations, assumptions, guesses, and by the time I reach home, I am ready with a detailed plan that I'm going to put into action right away!

That's after I have answered this sudden call from Tony.

"Hi Tony," I say, still seated in my car.

"Hi Gary. Sorry, I don't have much time, but I thought I should let you know..."

"They found the motherfucker!!" I exclaim, my heart skipping a beat in my chest.

"I wish... I just had a call from the CPD and they're about to have Fabio Lipia transferred to Illinois from Seattle..."

"What!!?"

"It was expected Gary, and it could have happened earlier."

"I know but... I just don't like him getting closer to us, even if he's in jail..."

"I can imagine, but trust that he'll stay in jail. There's nothing we can do about it anyway, his lawyers asked for his urgent transfer after some... incidents occurred."

"What sort of incidents?"

"Beaten down and raped by several inmates."

"Oh. It'd be horrible to say this, but... He's not the first sex offender receiving such treatment in prison, and I can't say I feel sorry for him."

"Me neither, Gary... Anyway, the thing is that he still has his mother's support somehow and that she hired more powerful lawyers to have him moved to Texas, which has been rejected, but he'll still be transferred to a safer prison here in Illinois."

"Well, fuck! That bastard doesn't deserve anything good anyway!" I growl. "So, what? He'll get one of those golden jails with all the luxury he wants, protection and all that goes with it?"

"Sorry, Gary... It's not going to make you feel any better, but know that he was found in a very bad state, completely catatonic and with serious injuries. Not sure he'll enjoy any of the luxury."

"That's still unfair!"

"Agreed..." Tony sighs. "I have to go into a meeting now, but I'll call you back when I know more. From what they told me, they won't transfer him before another couple of weeks due to his state, but I don't know anything else for now, so I'll keep you updated."

"Okay, thanks, Tony."

Once I have hung up, I recline against the back of my seat, take a few deep breaths and try to calm down. I'm fuming within. I feel bad for having such hateful thoughts against my lover's captor somehow because I always thought that retaliating violence with violence doesn't serve any purpose, but when it involves your beloved ones, things get a bit different.

I honestly believe that this fucker doesn't deserve anything less than what he just endured. Some people may think that he might have enjoyed it since from what I understood, he's a bottom, but I doubt his inmates made it pleasurable in any way. Lube, rimming, preparation, stretching must have been unknown words to them.

All the same, I loathe the idea of the motherfucker being close to us, and it only increases my resolve to put my plan into action as soon as possible. Weirdly enough, my urge to control Jeremy has never been so strong – at least in a long time! – and I am determined to press the right buttons. As early as now.

Just as I walk into the house, I hear footsteps at the top of the staircase and then in the corridor upstairs. Someone must have heard my car parking and decided to flee to our bedroom.

Fine! It's time for little tests anyway...

I take my time to lock the front door and get rid of my hoodie before I join him on the upper floor. Jeremy is lying in bed, still in his pajamas, and pretending to sleep. Kneeling on the bed, I slowly move to hover over him, feeling his body tense by the second my lips attach to his.

"Shhh Baby... I just want your lips..." I whisper with a soothing voice, kissing his stubbled jaw.

If I want us to move forward in our relationship, I will have to take things gradually again, but I need to provide him with the reassurance he needs. For now, his lips are all I need. After a couple of minutes showering him with soft pecks along his jawline, Jeremy eventually relaxes in my hold and I return to his lips, gently kissing them and running my tongue on the contours of his mouth. It feels great to taste his sweetness again in a more sensual way than the little pecks I give him in the morning and in the evening. However, I don't want to push him too far so after a minute, I pull back and roll us to our sides, cuddling him against me.

"I love you, Jer..." I whisper, kissing the top of his head.

"Me too..." he replies meekly and that's enough for me.

"You haven't showered today, so I'll go run a bath for you," I say after a few minutes, disentangling from him.

He opens his mouth to protest but my scowl immediately shuts him up. I don't know if my absence over lunchtime brought him to ponder on the right questions or if he can feel my renewed firmness, but he doesn't try to defy me. There is a soft sigh when he gets off the bed, following me to the bathroom, but I don't really mind. While he uses the attached toilets, I fill the tub for him, adding relaxing oils and foam, and decide to leave before he starts undressing to give him the privacy he still needs.

"I'll be in my office," I say, dropping another peck on his lips before I head out.

Once at my desk, I recline in my armchair and stare at my phone which is resting in front of me on the table. I have always been one to make quick decisions, even when they concern important matters. I never need to ponder much on things because I am usually prompt to distinguish the pros and the cons, to see how things will work. This implies that I think a lot with my heart and my guts, but they rarely fail me.

The day I offered a contract to Jeremy for the first time is a good example. Before him, I had never signed more than three-month long contracts to other Subs, but I knew deep down that this boy was going to change my life, so it was fairly easy and I didn't hesitate to renew our agreement six months later.

The day I decided to abandon him and move to Asia was more difficult. I knew I might lose him forever, but I had faith in our future and eventually resolved to take the risk.

There have been plenty of moments like these when I had to make important decisions, and I've always followed my instincts.

Today, as Aaron was telling me about a potential change of house or town, my mind took things even further. It downed on me that the thing I was missing in Jeremy's recovery was a completely new environment, a new place to build himself back up. This was so obvious all of a sudden! My love needed a fresh start, in a new house, a new city, and in a new country! Far from all the memories he has in Chicago and England naturally popped in my head.

England. My native country...

Being born of an English father and an American mother, I have been able to enjoy both nationalities, which allows me to live in either country without a problem. I sincerely have a preference for the United States, but I wouldn't mind returning to the capital where I spent most of my childhood.

The change of scenery would certainly help Jeremy. He wouldn't be lost in terms of language and the culture holds enough similarities so as not to completely disorient him. It would be like a new start for him and he would certainly feel safer 4 000 miles away from Chicago where Andrei will remain a threat until he gets caught. It shouldn't be difficult to convince him.

My father might be a different story but it's not like I intend to give him another option. Jeremy is much more important than his company and honestly, living in London won't prevent me from doing my job. Determined to make the old Campbell cave in, I grab my phone and dial his number, not really caring that it's already 9:30pm in London.

"Good afternoon, Son. You rarely call that late, so I hope all is fine with Jeremy?" he asks right away with sincere concern.

I speak with my father on a daily basis. Even if most of our exchanges are business related, he never fails to ask for updates about Jer, so he knows what the situation exactly looks like at the moment.

"Hi Dad. Nothing really new since earlier this morning, but there's something I need to discuss with you," I reply in a serious tone.

"I'm listening..."

"I want to move back to London. As soon as possible," I state with all the determination I can muster.

"Fine. No problem."

Wait, what? Is he going to make it that simple? I am so stunned that I can't even utter a word.

"You're surprised, right?" he chuckles.

"Well, I was expecting questions and resistance..." I reply warily.

"Gary, don't you know yet how much faith and trust I have in you? You've always known to make the wisest decisions, you've never failed. I simply trust you're ready with a plan?"

"Yes, I am..." I reply, stifling a sigh of relief.

"See? I knew it! Meanwhile, know that your mother and I can't wait to see you and Jeremy..."

What I thought was going to be the hardest part turns out to be child's play! For the next fifteen minutes, I explain him what I have in mind and my plans actually perfectly meet my father's expectations and conditions. It won't be easy all the time, but I'm sure I can do this. As soon as I have hung up, I take a deep breath and make my way upstairs. I thought convincing my father was going to be a long and painful task and it ended up easy. I hope it will be the same for Jeremy, but I think I have the right arguments anyway.

My love is brushing his teeth at the sink when I walk into the bathroom. He is only wearing a pair of boxer briefs and his hair is dripping droplets on his shoulders. I'm glad to see that most of the marks have disappeared now. The bruises are fading, and the scratches have healed pretty well. I don't think he will keep scars, which is good, apart from two little ones on his back that resulted from the whipping he received soon after he was abducted, and one on his wrist when he tried to commit suicide. Just thinking about the fact that I could have lost him forever makes me shudder again, but at the same time, it gives me the strength to do everything that's possible to make him feel better.

Keeping silent, I grab a towel and walk to stand behind him just as he leans back up after he rinsed his mouth. Jeremy lightly startles when he sees my reflection in the mirror and quickly turns around, avoiding his own image. With a smile, I begin to wipe his hair, very gently. I've always loved taking care of him and his body and even if it's only his head, it still reminds me of all the times we showered together. He has shaved too, his skin is so smooth that I can't resist dropping a few light kisses on his jaws before I stare down at him, cupping his face.

"We need to talk," I say after a few seconds, causing him to frown and worry to fill his face. "Nothing wrong, Baby. I'd just like to share some plans with you," I reassure him, already leading him out of the bathroom and toward the couch by his hand.

"Wait... I need a tee-shirt..." he says anxiously.

I let go of his hand and he scurries to the walk-in closet. I am already seated on one end of the sofa when he comes back, wearing sweatpants and a tee-shirt. As much as I would have preferred him to stay in his boxer briefs, I know I can't push his current modesty too far.

"Are your parents still visiting this weekend?" I ask gently once he has settled down quite close and facing me.

"Yeah..." he replies, wincing. "About that... I might cancel. I don't really feel like seeing them," he then adds.

"Why is that?" I ask a bit perplexed.

Jeremy has never been very close to his parents, but I thought the recent events could have changed this, that they could have bonded. In a way, I must admit that their lack of affinity might serve my plans and if phone calls and occasional visits are all they need, they will be two less people I have to worry about breaking the news to. Aaron and our other friends will be enough trouble...

"I don't know... I don't really feel like seeing them. I'm scared they'll worry even more for me..." he finally confesses a few seconds later, flushing red. "You know I've never been really close to them. Ever since they left Chicago, I've always been fine with seeing them once or twice a year. I know I must sound like a horrible child, but the truth is that we just have that kind of relationship. I'm not denying it felt nice to see them... but I'm sure they're also more comfortable talking over the phone..."

Wow, this is one of the longest speeches I have heard him say in a while! I'm glad he managed to express his feelings though, even more so as it fits my plans as I expected.

"Jer," I say softly, grabbing his hand. "Don't feel bad about it, you know I'm quite the same with my parents. That doesn't mean I don't love them. It's just the way we are and there's nothing wrong with that."

It seems like my words reassure him, even pulling a timid smile on his lips.

"Listen, I think you should let your parents visit this weekend, because you might not see them in a long while afterwards..."

"What do you mean?" he asks, frowning again.

"I'd like us to move to England. As soon as possible. But that's only if you agree, of course..."

"What?" he exclaims.

I almost jump with happiness when I realize that his surprise isn't fueled by fear, contempt or anger. Well, there is a bit of anxiety on his face, but what I register is the sparkle of hope – almost excitement – that brightens his eyes.

"I think I'd like us to start a new life in England. It doesn't have to be forever, but I truly believe that things would be easier for you. No memories attached, no sense of insecurity. I'm sure it would help you to live in a different environment, one that you don't know," I explain softly, and in all honesty.

I give him the time to digest this information, witnessing all sorts of positive emotions pass on his face until they get overpowered by guilt and worry.

"I thought you preferred living in the US? And what about your job? I can't be the reason you'd abandon all that you've built up here..." he whispers remorsefully.

"Baby, the first thing you need to know is that you are what matters the most to me. Your safety and well-being stand before anything else and I would sacrifice anything to make you feel better. I do prefer living in the US, but I love England too, so that's really not a problem. As far as my job is concerned, I have a second-in-command here in Chicago who has been taking care of most of the business-related tasks for more than a year now. This will just go on. I do most of my work from home and I could totally do it from a longer distance. I would just have to be here for two or three days each month to attend important meetings. Working from here or from England wouldn't make that much of a difference."

"Really...?" he whispers softly, and I nod with a smile in answer. "Wow... I don't know what to think..."

"Here's how I see things," I reply, catching both his hands within mine and locking eyes with him, happy to see that he doesn't look away. "I saw how you seemed to like the idea in the first place, so I'll start working on all the formalities and preparation for our move there. I'd like to do this at the earliest, so if that's possible, just try to give me an answer by tomorrow. Do you think you can do that?"

"I think I've already decided..."

"Take the time to think about it all the same. If you agree to it, things will go very fast and we'll be out of here by the end of next week..."

"That fast?"

"I don't see the point waiting any longer. That's also why I want your parents to come here this weekend because I'd rather tell them face to face. Of course, you'll be able to skype with them or call them on the phone as much as you'd like once we're in England, but you might not see them very often, so I believe you should enjoy their presence one last time before we leave. What do you think?"

"Yes, I guess you're right..."

"By the way, I'm not going to sell this house. I might want to stay here each month when I have to fly to Chicago and who knows? Maybe one day we'll come back... So, there won't be much to arrange here for the move. We'll only have to pack our luggage and that's it. In the beginning, we'll stay at my parents' mansion in Surrey, just outside of London, but not for long. They own two apartments and one house in the city. One of them is free at the moment and we could use it, but if you don't like the place, we'll just look for something else, and... Are you okay, Jer?" I ask when I see him blush a bit.

"Isn't it going to bother your parents?" he asks warily.

"No, of course not! I know you only met them once at Christmas two years ago, but you'll get to discover them. They're nice people and they're actually very eager to see us," I try to reassure him. "So, how does that sound?"

"It sounds... all planned! How long have you been preparing this?" he asks with the first genuine playful glint since he came back here.

"Hmm... three hours approximately," I reply, checking my watch and smiling warmly.

"Of course... You and your quick decisions..." he whispers, shaking his head.

Now what strikes me in this moment is the beautiful smile spreading on his lips and how his body seems to relax right away. Was it all that simple?

Feeling elated, I lean over and connect my lips with his, squeezing his hands with affection. As his body tenses a bit, my fingers lace with his and my thumbs begin to rub soothing circles on his skin, and when I feel his muscles loosen up, I tentatively press the tip of my tongue to the seam of his lips. I am craving to feel his wet muscle again, but I'm not even begging for entrance, I'm just trying to add a bit of sensuality to our kiss.

And yet...

Jeremy's lips suddenly part and the tip of his tongue briefly meets mine before it retreats inside his mouth.

Progress, Gary... This is some sort of progress... Take it easy...

I don't break our kiss, my lips keep gently moving against his, and I'm pleased to feel the tip of his tongue poke again. It's all in slow motion, but it happens again and again, like two teenagers kissing for the first time and discovering each other's mouth with a lot of shyness and hesitation. On my side, it's all because I don't want to scare him away: only a few hours ago, Jeremy was back into his shell, so I know better than to take big leaps instead of baby steps. On Jeremy's side, I guess it's pure shyness and fear that it might encourage me to go too far, but I know I won't.

Pecking his lips or his face was nice already, tasting the tip of his tongue is even better. For sure, a boner has formed inside my pants and I would definitely like to take more of him, but I am fully aware of the slow progression I must undertake. This is why I slightly pull back after only a few brushes of my wet muscle against his, concluding the kiss with a soft peck.

"I love you, Baby..." I whisper, leaning my forehead against his and my right hand cupping his cheek. "I love you so much. Together, we'll make it. Together, we'll heal you. Whatever it takes, we'll succeed."

Published on 13 March 2018

I guess that some parts of the epilogues of TM make a bit more sense now... Gary and Jeremy will be moving to England indeed, and this is going to be the beginning of Jeremy's real healing. In the next chapter, they will already be in London, and Jeremy will say how all the farewells went. Sending them to Europe made sense because it'll be a new start for Jeremy, with a new therapist, a new therapy, but it was also the perfect way to avoid too many spoilers for the next books, even if you'll still get to hear about all the characters of course.