Bob

I get my own section? Wow! I suppose I'm needed to push the plot along. As you probably already know, my dad's a cop. He wanted me to be a cop. It's sorta our family business. My pawpaw was a cop, my cousin Vinny's a cop. I come from a long line of pork products. Okay that was mean. The truth is I'm not cut out to be a police officer. I'm lazy, I'm in my late twenties but have the body of an out of shape labrador. Oh and I'm very immature. I have a horrible work ethic and don't talk to me before I've had my third cup of coffee--and it better be after noon! The only thing cop-ish about me is my love of donuts.

Earlier my dad texted me. He's on his way over. To what do I owe this auspicious gesture? (I'm not stupid I'm lazy!) He probably saw security footage of my friends healing people, impersonating medical personnel and breaking a supposedly contagious patient out of Mount Sinai Hospital. The latter part is probably considered "an act of domestic terrorism." One thing I do know from being around "the family business" is laws are twisted to make them fit.

I'm so fidgety. I've made four kinds of cookies: chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin, butter cookies and white chocolate macadamia nut. I'm hoping to bribe my father into looking elsewhere. Plus I bake when I'm nervous. That's probably why I'm forty pounds overweight.

I sure like Beth. She has an understated beauty and an elegance rarely seen in women these days. Eh... What do I know? I rarely see any women these days. Maybe I'll ask Beth to draw me riding a bike or I could start using the treadmill. I have one but presently it's a coat rack. I suppose I could unbury it and actually use the thing. I guess I'd do it if it would make Beth notice me?  Be quiet Bob! A girl like Beth would never notice you! It could happen. I'm an excellent cook and I see Beth. She's a delicate balance of beauty and grace. I'm a corny basketcase. I may be corny but I'm loyal. Girls like loyalty, don't they?

Someone's pounding on my door. I hear Sarah say, "I'll get it." I wanna say, "No! Pretend we're not home. It's my pop the cop and he's out for blood.

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