Chapter 8

When I went home, I felt a little sick. Ruth said I should immediately take some medicine. Siguro daw gawa ng ulan kanina at sumama ang pakiramdam ko. I couldn't blame her for that dahil isa rin ako sa pasimuno na tumakbo sa ulan at ngayon ay masama ang pakiramdam. But I can't be like this for so long. Kung kailan patapos na ang semester, saka pa nagkagulo-gulo ang buhay ko.

I was lying down on my bed when I received a call from—as usual, sino pa ba?

"Hello?" bungad nito sa akin. "Are you okay to do this on a video?"

Napataas ang kilay ko sa tanong nito. "Hindi naman need? Okay lang naman na ganito. I can give you instruction and all. Hindi naman tayo magtitigan just to do your papers, 'di ba?"

"Ah, natanong ko lang naman, pero baka gusto mo rin."

"No, thanks..." wala kong ganang sagot. "Okay... ano bang una mong need?"

"Is there something wrong?" he asked.

Literal na napa-huh ang utak ko nang iyon ang sagutin niya sa tanong ko. It doesn't make any sense to me. I tried to put it together kahit hindi maganda ang pakiramdam ko pero wala pa ring sense, e.

"Huh? Loko ka ba? Anong wrong?"

He chuckled. "No, no. My bad. I was just asking since something's wrong with your voice... you know what, I've got a better plan."

"Ano 'yon?"

And then he dropped the call. Mas lalo akong naguguluhan sa pag-iisip nito ni Bryce. He didn't call afterwards, so I think hindi na siya interested for any of my help. I thought that was it, I could finally take some rest para kinabukasan, I would feel better again.

But I don't know how long I was already asleep when a continuous knocks on the door woke me up. I stand up tiringly just to check who was it and came at this time so late. 

"Who was it? Ruth, ikaw ba 'yan?"

"It's me!" someone replied behind the door and it froze me just when I was about to open the door. Doon ko lang na-realize na si Bryce 'yon. Mabilis akong nagpanic dahil hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko. I quickly made it sure na kung siya nga ba talaga iyon kaya binuksan ko ang pinto. "Hey—oops!"

I quickly pulled him inside my apartment and closed the door so no one will ever see he's in my place.

"Anong ginagawa mo rito?" galit kong tanong.

"For the day one of our session?" he answered with a question. "I thought I should come here and see what's up with you. And it seems like you're not in a good condition. Well, you are when I saw you earlier at school."

"It was just a low-grade fever," I responded. "You can go home na."

"I can stay if you want some company."

Umiling ako sa suhestiyon niya. "No, thanks. I was already sleeping when you get here so thanks for bothering me."

"Oh, my bad."

"And you've got more important things to do than your research paper, right? You've got your football practice. Why don't you just put your efforts there."

Napakamot naman ito sa kanyang ulo. "I know, I have to balance these two out. I cannot drop one and pursue the other one full time. It doesn't work like that."

"Well, if you won't efforts to your research as well, you wouldn't be able to do anything because it doesn't work like that."

"That's why I am here," he said. "I could share with you what I had in mind and tell me your feedback. Maybe that's what we could do for tonight."

"Sure... whatever..."

Pumunta ako sa sofa at saka siya tumabi sa akin. He get his laptop and showed to me what he prepared as well. He started telling me about the idea he had. Nakikinig lang ako, pero palaging nakikisabat kapag may gusto akong ipunto sa gusto niyang mangyari. But all throughout the discussion we had, he has a good plan, but I hope he'll be consistent.

"You know, I've heard some actually pay someone else to do their research paper for them," Bryce said.

I smirked. "'Wag ka nang umasa. I wouldn't ever do that for you. I agreed na nga to help, ako pa gagawa? No way. If that's what you think ang gagawin ko sa 'yo at the end of the day dahil gwapo ka at may abs, gagawin ko 'yon? Asa."

He chuckled. "Ano nga ulit 'yon? Anong binanggit mo?"

I rose my brow at him. "Shut up, Bryce."

He giggled. "I know you find me handsome."

Inirapan ko siya. "I still hate you and who you are. I wouldn't even forget what you did. Your hateful words and the hatred you put towards the gay community. You're a fucking homophobic, Bryce. I was just stating the facts, the truth, and all."

He was gone silent when I said those words right in front of his face. Hindi naman ako nagsisi na sinabi ko 'yon. I've been waiting for this time to come and I finally did it.

"So, why did you still help me?"

"Because I'm a human. Kawang-gawa, Bryce."

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Okay... I am very sorry to what I did before. I know that was cruel and was not forgivable. I accept this words you said to me because I wouldn't deny I've done it because it did really happen. But that was way before... and I can prove to you that I've changed."

Napangisi ako saka umiling. "Your personality cannot be changed, Bryce. Naka-tatak na 'yon sa 'yo. But you could put some efforts to your research and maybe listen to your professors so you'll know what you will do then."

He was quiet. Kind of weird.

"Maybe you should go home now. I've already said what you need to do. Day one's over, honey. Pack up your things."

"Sure..." he said, putting his laptop back to his bag. He stood up and look at me. "Should we do this?"

"The tutor, yes. But not again in my house. Nope."

He nodded. "Sure... thanks, August. See you around..."

When he left, my room's gone quiet and I don't know what I did there, but I guess he deserves to hear those words from me.

And maybe, I don't really have to be scared of him... I just have to be me,