Chapter 2

I'm still wondering what's with Bryce now. It was suspicious of him to text me something like that when in fact he wouldn't do that to a guy. He doesn't know that I'm gay—or maybe he has an idea, but if he really does, he should be treating me like I'm a freaking abomination to his world, yet I don't feel that kind of treatment for him instead I was asked for something else.

Does he really know that I was gay?

And what was the message for? I know what those emoji's looked in real so I wouldn't have to guess what it was. Or maybe he was supposed to send it to someone else and then he just slide it on my chat?

But that's still suspicious... we never chat, so there's no chance I am on his list of inbox. I'm kind of lost so I don't know what should I do. Or should I also tell to Ruth and then she'll just speculate something about it? I trusted her with all of my secrets so I guess spilling that tea to her might also help me figure out what was going on.

I'm meeting Ruth in the library at first thing in the morning since I wasn't able to study last night at home as my head were all around the place. Peste naman kasi 'yang si Bryce, kung ano-anong pakana ang pumapasok sa isip. Hindi ko naman siya bet, well, I will just admit na gwapo siya and he has a very strong charisma, but he's not my type.

I'm gay and I'm attracted to guys, but not him. Choosy rin ako kahit papaano.

And I hated Bryce for his outlook in life when it comes to LGBTQ community, that's when his personality goes down to the core. Okay na sana, e. Kaso ang attitude rin, sobrang bagsak na bagsak. 

Ilang saglit lang din naman ay dumating na si Ruth and she immediately talked me about something else. Mukhang nakalimutan niyang may sasabihin ako sa kanya, but I'm also thinking it twice kung ikukwento ko na ba agad sa kanya or I'll just play these scenarios out at kung need ko na ng help niya, that would be the time to include her.

I don't know... I'm not even sure, to be honest.

"I saw Becca and Aron kissing down the hallway," panimula niya na ikinabigla ko namang marinig.

"They're known to be each others enemies, right?"

"So true!" she agreed. "And akala nila, walang tao sa hallway kanina and I was on the right place and the right time. I caught them, pero mabuti na lang ay hindi nila ako nakita. And I've got this..."

Pinakita naman niya sa akin iyong screen ng phone niya kung saan may picture siya no'ng dalawa naming batchmate na sa harap ng maraming tao, they act like they hated each other pero bakit ngayon may pagsipsip na ng labi?

"What a juicy morning," Ruth said, giggling. "Ikaw ba? May chika ka ba? 'Di ba, may sasabihin ka sa akin?"

Napakibit balikat naman ako. "Wala akong juicy na chika, pero I just have to remind you na may pasahan ng portfolio. Nahanda mo na ba sa 'yo?"

Nanlaki ang mata ni Ruth. "Gaga ka! Ang sabi mo lang may quiz tayo mamaya, hindi mo naman binanggit sa akin na may pasahan pala ng porfolio!" Hinampas pa ako nito sa balikat ko. 

"Masakit, a!" usal ko. "Kung dala mo lang 'yong previous quizzes natin, that would be the porfolio kasama na iyong mga assessment na pinagawa."

Napabitaw naman nang malalim na buntonghininga si Ruth. "Gosh! Buti dala-dala ko palagi 'yon. And need ko lang ng folder, 'no?"

Tumango ako.

"Alright!" Ruth said. "Baka meron available rito sa library counter. Balikan kita, girl. Check ko lang kung meron. Pati pala bond paper, gosh. O, kaya I'll buy na lang a clear book kaya para mas easy, 'no?"

"'Yan 'yong ginawa ko, so go!" sabi ko.

Ruth excused herself para pumunta sa librarian counter while I continued reading my notes. Saglit lang din naman ay naka-receieve ako ng notification and it's a message coming from Bryce—again.

Nanginginig pa ang kamay kong kinuha 'yon. I don't know if I should read it or left him unseen. I know he wouldn't mind. Pero binuksan ko pa rin iyong message niya at binasa ko.

Bryce:

I need to talk to you. Message me once read.

I left the message read and didn't give him a response. I'm not even sure what was going on, and what's the hurry to reply to him. Bahala siya sa buhay niya. I've got a lot of things to do at hindi siya kasama ro'n.

I tu-turn off ko pa lamang ang phone ko nang bigla siyang mag-message ulit.

Bryce:

Yeah? No reply? 

Ano bang problema ng isang 'to?

Bigla pang dumating si Ruth kaya hindi ko nagawang replyan na ng matinding sagot. Kung ano man ang kailangan niya sa akin, I'm not sure how it will benefit him. Ngayon pa lang, iniisip ko na hindi magiging maganda ang mga magiging pag-uusap namin.

Someone like Bryce, hindi dapat siniseryoso 'yan.

"Kita ko 'yon, sino 'yong ka-chat mo?" tanong ni Ruth na abala na ngayon sa pag-aayos ng kanyang portfolio.

"Wala naman," simple kong sagot. "Kaklase ko lang no'ng highschool. May reunion eme raw na magaganap this summer at niyayaya ako."

"Oh, talaga? Pupunta ka?"

Napailing ako. "Hindi ko sure. Ayoko naman makita 'yong mga bully kong kaklase noon. Kinalimutan ko na sila. Naging tahimik ang buhay college ko kaya naman hindi ko na sila babalikan pa."

I think that was a good reason to hide the truth from Ruth—for now, but this was also based on a real experience so it's personal.

Habang patuloy na abala si Ruth ay pasimple na akong nag-reply kay Bryce.

Me:

I'm sorry. Busy ako. Malapit na finals.

And to my surprise, he quickly replied.

Bryce:

I know, that's why I need your fucking help.

Me:

I'm sure that's not how you ask for help. Not with that language.

Bryce:

Fine.

I need you help.

Meet me at the field later at 2 PM.

No excuse.

See you.

seen

Shit! I have a 2 PM class... but should I be afraid of him? I guess not.