Chapter 15

What happened the other night was the biggest mistake I made.

Hindi ako pinatulog no'n. I know I shouldn't be doing that, pero hindi ko rin alam kung anong pumasok sa isipan ko. I couldn't tell it to Ruth. I feel like stepping out of my apartment would be the death of me. Buong Sunday, nasa loob lang ako ng bahay kahit niyayaya ako ni Ruth na umalis.

I stayed because I couldn't afford to see Bryce again and imagine what we did.

Final exams week at parang ayokong pumasok. Hindi na naman kami magkikita. Hindi na naman kami mag-uusap, and we both agreed na hindi namin pag-uusapan iyong nangyari sa amin. At hindi namin kailanman ipapaalam sa iba ang nangyari. I couldn't afford being the center of this issue if this gets out.

Inisip ko na lang din naman na hindi na kami magkikita ni Bryce and that's a relief for me. We ended that kind of communication and the other night, but it ripples into this situation I couldn't get out of my head. Nakakainis.

Umalis ako ng apartment evading that thought out of my head so I could focus on my exams. Arriving at school and meeting Ruth started my day, so far, I haven't had any bad feelings that I will see Bryce today.

I never wanted to see him again.

"Alam mo, tinatamad na ako pumunta sa tournament this weekend," panimula ko kay Ruth na nagbabasa.

Iniangat niya ang tingin at saka ko nilingon. He rose his brow, already questioning me with that kind of look. "At bakit naman biglang nagbago ang isip mo? Fill me in, please."

Sinara niya ang hawak na libro so she could focus herself to me.

"Wala naman," sagot ko. "I thought I should be spending my weekends with my family."

"Bibisita sila?"

"No, uuwi ako," sagot ako.

Agad naman siyang umiling. "No! Kinabukasan ka na umuwi. Sumama ka na. Isang gabi lang naman 'yon. Saka for the first and last time, you'll be able to watch our football team compete!"

"Baka may pa-online viewing naman sila?"

"Girl, sayang ticket!" dagdag niya. "I already bought us kaya hinding-hindi ka na pwedeng umatras pa. Ako kakausap sa parents mo. Akong bahala sa kanila."

"Hindi na."

"Hm..." she hummed, crossing her arms as if she making a judgement for me. "It seems like there's something wrong with you, Augy. No'ng nakaraan, you were okay with it. Anong nangyari? Tell me something I don't know, Mr. August Spencers. Are you avoiding Bryce all over again?"

Hindi ako sumagot so she wouldn't make any assumptions, but I guess she will still have a lot of assumptions kahit naman na hindi ko sagutin 'yon.

"It seems like you do, Augy."

"Hindi nga kasi? Mag-review ka na nga lang diyan at huwag mo na akong pansinin."

"Okay, I won't. Pero sasama ka pa rin sa akin sa football game, ha? Wala nang urungan 'yon. It's final. Deal na 'yon. O kung hindi, you'll pay me three times sa binayaran kong ticket."

"E 'di, I'll pay you three times," sagot ko.

Pinalo niya ako sa braso matapos kong sabihin 'yon. "Joke lang naman! Hindi kita pababayaran do'n at hindi ka na pwedeng tumanggi. You'll come with me and that's fine."

"Sige, ikaw bahala."

She eyed on me, but I just put my attention back to what I was reading. May fifteen minutes pa bago dumating ang proctor namin for the exam. This is just a minor subject, but this minor subject still requires a lot of effort just to pass so I'm not just putting any luck into it because it won't help me.

When I decided to take a quick stop at the restroom before the exam starts, Ruth joined me heading towards the restroom.

Ruth was a Dean Lister back in her first year, but dropped it when her grades starting to fail in one semester when she has to juggle her studies plus being a working student. It was hectic for her, and she was so mad on herself because of that.

But as she moves forward, she didn't really care about anything now. She could support herself now, and the only thing she wants is to get her degree and finally do what she wanted to do.

On the other end, me, each semester I pursued to stay on the top, to remain at the list because I know everyone will be proud of me. That's why many people know me—just because I'm a nerd they said. Okay lang naman sa akin na tawagin no'n, no big deal.

I worked hard for it that's why in the end, I wanted to end this journey with flying colors.

Getting away from those thoughts and Ruth kept poking me on my side. And then we saw the person I'm trying not to see today. Natigilan kami ni Ruth sa paglalakad dahil may kausap si Bryce na isang gay—well, out siya, unlike me. Kasama ni Bryce si Jaden at mukhang pinagkakatuwaan nila 'yon.

I was about to do something, but Ruth tried to stop me. I tried to resist and do nothing, but as I continued watching the, it seems like Bryce was about to do something bad on that person so I stepped in and called him out.

"Bryce!"

They all looked at me when I shouted his name. Hindi ko na inisip kung anong mangyayari sa akin, but I guess, he really never stops being who he really is. Isang homophobic.

"Oh! That's the one you were telling who's gay, right? Sheesh!" Jaden asked, laughing.

I was appalled by what Jaden said and I just stood there and couldn't say what I wanted to say. People are watching. They are looking at us and I'm here being the center of attention and them hearing those words from Jaden made me want to run away, but I couldn't.

"Are you gonna say something?" Bryce asked, a smirk grew on his face.

Before I could even say anything, Ruth pulled me out of the scene and we headed towards where the restroom is. My blood's boiling and I don't know what to do.

I couldn't focus.

It was too embarrassing.

I don't know what to do.

But here today and now, Bryce make me do something I thought I'll never do.