Oh my god, John is hot.

And back to your regularly scheduled programming:
I can't control myself when I think about him. I think I've really got it bad for this guy. How does he manage to look so good, that good, constantly?

These are my thoughts as we stand in line for concessions at the concert. He's leaned against the wall next to the counter while he waits, talking and laughing with Alex. He runs a hand through his hair which causes a shiver to run through my body. Good god. He just looks so effortless.

"Earth to Peggy!" Eliza says, moving her hand in front of my face. I snap out of my daydream - fantasy? No, no, that sounds bad... but I mean... no Peggy, bad Peggy - and look to her, where she's holding out a large red cup with a straw in it. I take it from her, realizing she's been trying to give me my drink this entire time. Oops!

"Sorry Liza." I mumble with the straw halfway in my mouth, taking a sip of my Coke to try to get my eyes to snap away from John for just a second. Jeez, is he trying to impersonate a solar eclipse today? I can't look away from it!

"Pegs, you're staring." She giggled, following my line of sight to John, who was now taking a cup from the cashier and thanking her. This made me look away from him and blush a little. Did he catch me too?

"What? Noooo, I wasn't looking at him, I was uh," I stumbled over my words, trying to think of an excuse for what I was looking at. I gave up and messed with my hair for a second. Eliza just laughed and bumped my arm with her elbow before going over to Alex and grabbing his hand. He kissed her on the cheek and looked at her with admiration in his eyes. What a cute couple, right?

Before I knew it, Eliza was turning Alex away from John and grabbing his arm, going on her tiptoes to whisper something in his ear. Her eyes darted over to me and she began to smile. Oh no. I held back a groan as Alex began to smile too, looking amused. He whispered something back to her before wrapping his arm around her waist and turning back to John.

"Hey... find the seats... meet you there... check out..." was all I could make out of what Alex was saying. Before I knew it, John was in front of me, holding the tickets and his drink.

"Alex and Eliza want the two of us to go find the seats while they go check out some of the merch and other stuff they're selling here. They said they'd all meet us there once they were done." He said, starting to walk already. I picked up my pace to keep up with him and struggled a bit before I found my footing. He was really throwing me off today...

"Okay. I think we're like, all the way across the venue from where we are. It'll be a little bit of a hike." I said, getting ready for our little walk.

"Yes it is. Should I fire up my Apple Watch and tell it I'm doing a strenuous workout?" He laughed, and I just shook my head, amusement filling my voice.

"Oh, for sure, this is probably about gonna be the most exercise you've done this week!" I laughed. He shook his head in response and flexed his arms.

"Listen Pegs, I don't know if you've noticed, but the gun show actually is in town and it's right here next to you." I couldn't deny what he was saying. He was more muscular than I thought.

"Wow, a bodybuilder, I see you!" I said, grabbing his arm and giving it a little squeeze. He did the same to me.

"Let me see those muscles!" He exclaimed, and I struggled to flex the little arm muscle I had, bursting into giggles instead.

"But for real, what's up with the muscles? Are you just a gym junkie or something?" I asked him, wishing so badly that those strong arms of his could be around me, the way Alex's arm was around Eliza earlier. But apparently this was the wrong question. His tone shifted a bit and some of that amusement faded from his eyes.

"Uh, yeah, I guess so. I just like working out. It's a good distraction and helps if you get into a fight or something." He said. All of the sudden, I was taken back to that night at his house. His dad, screaming and yelling, his mom crying, John with his bruises. I gently grabbed his arm and gave it another squeeze and nodded, hoping he could tell that it was a reassurance and me understanding him.

"I know you know what's going on, Pegs. Don't worry about me though, okay?" He said, looking into my eyes as we continued to walk.

"I don't want to push anything, I know what it's like and I know it's hard to talk about. But I'm here for you, whenever you want it and whenever you need it. I promise." I told him, not even registering my slip-up. He nodded before his eyes changed once again, realizing what I had said even before I had realized.

"What do you mean, you know what it's like? Is this about the night you were at my door? Did your parents do something, did someone else do something like that to you?" He asked. I could tell he was getting upset about it, but I wasn't sure why. I didn't really want to answer.

"Um, I didn't mean to say that," I started, before he cut me off.

"Peggy, you noticed what was going on with me. I'm not dumb, we're in AP together. I've seen bruises on you too." He said, looking down at my arms and running his finger over a few fading marks on them. I felt panicky all of the sudden, not knowing what would happen if I told him the truth. I had never told anyone the truth.

"John... it's not my parents. It's fine, though, really, don't worry. It's not a big thing." I said as quietly as I could, which still had to be a little loud because of all the noise in the venue. We had finally arrived at the entrance to the section our seats were in, and were walking up the steps to our row.

"I just don't want you to be getting hurt." He said as we found our row. We moved through the seats, looking for the number to match our tickets.

"It's alright. I can take it." It wasn't technically a lie. Sure, it hurt. Sure, I felt disgusting and awful afterwards. But I could handle it. Nothing James had never done to me before, right?

"Well, if you ever want to talk, I'll be there. Same thing you said." He told me, finally sitting down next to each other in our seats. I nodded took a sip from my drink, feeling uneasy about telling him even a little bit about what was going on. What if James found out? What would happen?

Enough of that. No more of those thoughts. John and I sat in our seats for a while, talking here and there and watching the rest of the venue fill up with people as the sun slowly began to sink and the late summer heat turned a little cooler.

Angie, Laf, Eliza and Alex arrived about 20 minutes later with their drinks and newly purchased merch. They settled into their seats that we all knew we'd be standing up in soon, once the show started. Our group talked and laughed for a while before each individual couple slowly began to focus on each other. Leaving John and I to talk again.

He must've noticed that I was getting a little colder as the sun set. I was wearing a pair of white jeans - yes, a little risky for a klutz like me, I know - and a simple blue cropped tank top. He started to unbutton his gray button-up and before I knew it, was urging me to put it on over my tank top so I could be a little warmer.

I tried to decline but he insisted, telling me that he was too hot anyway. Well, now that he was left in just jeans and a plain white t-shirt, he was especially hot. But, that's not the point. I gotta snap out of this. I finally agreed and put the button-up over my tank top, leaving it open so you could still see the blue. I must admit, it fit pretty well on me and I'd say I still looked pretty nice. John's biceps in all their t-shirted glory looked pretty nice too, if I say so myself.

My phone buzzed out of nowhere and I checked it, seeing a text in the group chat from Angelica.

angel: dang peggy, sharing clothes already?? when's the wedding?
pegs: angie stoppppp i got cold okay, and he just like took off his shirt without me even asking
betsey: aww that's so sweet
angel: now listen pegs, you're gonna wanna use that to your advantage once you two are allll alone
betsey: ANGELICA!
pegs: what lizzy said ^
angel: yeah yeahhhhh alright. but he obviously likes you peggy
betsey: and based on all your staring earlier (and now honestly, you gotta be more subtle hun), i think you adore him. you two would be so cuuuuuute
pegs: alright alrightttt calm down ladies

I clicked my phone off and put it back into my pocket. I looked over at John, who seemed to also be texting in a group chat called the Revolutionaries. Huh. Wonder what that's all about.

I waited for him to finish before starting up our conversation again, but right as I started, the concert did too.

The next few hours are filled with jumping, screaming, cheering and singing. Oh, turns out John can sing. As if he wasn't already perfect enough. At the end of the night, a slow song came on and I found myself with John's arm slung across my shoulders, pulling me closer to him as we swayed back and forth and softly sung the lyrics. I thought I was going to die.

We got home late, late enough that it was already technically the very very early hours of Sunday morning. I found a text from John sitting on my phone when I finally got into my pajamas and into my bed, during which I also realized I had accidentally taken his shirt home with me.

laurens: always here for you no matter what. i had a great time with your gorgeous self tonight, despite the fact that my shirt got stolen in the process

A great time with me! My gorgeous self! My heart is really gonna lose it now!

pegs: same goes for you. and i've gotta agree, i had an excellent time. you looked fantastic both with the button-up and without it

I clicked send and put my phone to the side, letting my eyes close and hoping it wouldn't take too long for me to fall asleep this time.