4th December 2023🥀

“No! We are not playing that song again, please, heavens no.” Mkhulu complains, making Dominique and I laugh.

“ Mr July, it's worth it.” Dominique says from the backseat but Mkhulu is having none of it, shaking his head profusely.

It's night time. The stars and the moon are out, the chilly air welcoming from the humid weather we've been having lately. I roll down the window, the wind gushes in, in soft gentle waves.

We're in Mkhulu's car. After sleeping for a few hours, waking up and heading to church then coming back from church so we can sleep some more. Then waking up to eat, we're finally on our way to the restaurant  Food and Karaoke.

Dominique insisted that we chose the same place as the last time. Since we picked Dominique up, he plugged in his phone and has been playing the same song on repeat.  Night Air.

Mkhulu and I shared a concerned look with each other when Dominique put it on replay for the sixth time.

“Do you have any other songs on your phone?” Mkhulu asks.

“Yes,” Dominique answers, “ but none of them are as good as this one.”

“Play something else, anything is better than this song at this point.”

Dominique says something back but it's tuned out, blurred. My focus shifts, the thoughts circulating around my head bringing me back to a certain place.

All day I tried to contact Olivia on where we should meet up, to do the next set of questions but she's unreachable. I called, texted and even sent an SMS.

It's less about the questions and more about me, wanting more quality time with her. The wind continues to pour in the car in gentle waves and all I can think is that I miss her. The stars twinkle, winking at me like they know everything I don't.

It's simply a day, I tell myself, feeling a little pathetic for not even letting her have a day to herself.

I'll see her tomorrow, I tell myself and the resolution brings a smile to my face. Olivia and I have a future together.

❄️❄️❄️

“My father was very strict so he only ever allowed my brother's and I to—” Mkhulu shares pieces of his past with Dominique while the three of them step out of the car.

Dominique listens, with keen interest, barely interrupting, sharing glances at me from time to time as if to confirm if what Mkhulu is saying is true.

“Old people lie like it's a language.” I tell Dominique, when Mkhulu's not listening and he laughs, his head falling backwards.

It's busy, just like before. The night is alive,  hundreds of people walking, stepping out of stores and stepping in laughing, talking. There's no place where the silence isn't filled.

We're almost close to the restaurant, and my palms break into a sweat. I wipe them on my pants, ignoring the feeling settling over me.

It was on a night like this where the distance between Olivia and I was felt and  seen like a shadow that stepped out of hiding.

Before I can dwell on anything else, I'm reminded of yesterday. Of the reconciliation we had. The way we broke the barriers between us. After kissing her, I was close to tears. I'm reminded of the promises we made, and the love I saw in her eyes, like an emanation of everything I was feeling.

Dominique and Mkhulu's conversation has come to a stop, they both lag behind me like they're waiting for something. I turn around, wordlessly asking about their behaviour and they shrug.

I turn back around, we're in front of the blue building. The familiar sign at the top buzzes, illuminated with blue neon lit words— Food and Karaoke.

Everything about this place calls for attention in a bright, flashy way but it's the simplicity in the midst of it that captures my attention. Captures my heart.

“Olivia.”

I turn back, looking at Mkhulu and Dominique and they've both got huge grins on their faces like they've been holding in the news for too long.

I turn back and right before my very eyes, I see her.

She's standing by the entrance. The moonlight reaches the glow of her skin and she's in that yellow dress again. The same dress she wore the time we came here.

Her neck is adorned with a golden necklace.  Her braids are free, flowing down her back and shoulders in curly waves, with a white rose placed in.

When she smiles, it all slows down to a heart melting pace. In my eyes, the dark blue sky is now starless because she's stolen all of them and put them in her eyes. That can be the only explanation for why they twinkle like that.

“What are you waiting for, lover boy!" Dominique teases from behind me, “Go forth, your Juliet is waiting for you.” He pushes me forward a little, bringing me back to my senses.

Dominique and Mkhulu walk past me, both of them greeting Olivia on the way before they disappear into the entrance of the restaurant.

I'm walking towards her and she meets me halfway. We're barely a feet apart, she looks up at me. Slowly, I part a few loose braids behind her ears.  “You are so beautiful.”

She blushes, the smile sweet, incomparable.

“You're here…you're actually here. Tell me this isn't a dream.”

She laughs, softly. “No.” She whispers, and my heart is safe to fall at those words.

“What this is…” Olivia continues, with a stronger tone. “This is a do over. Another chance. I —” she's wordless.

With our gazes locked on each other, I hold  both her hands, entwining our fingers.

“Can we have a do over  of the other night, Leo?”

“Are you saying that…you're gonna sing? Olivia, it's okay. You were right, those types of things shouldn't be forced onto people only —”

“Leonardo.” She cuts me off, ending in a soft laugh.

“ I want to do this.”  She says confidently, “I want a do over and I'm not just talking about us. I'm talking about my life. Putting a pause on my goals and dreams like that— it's crazy. Support me?”

I bring one of her hands that I have a hold of, kissing it gently. “Always.”

❄️❄️❄️

The restaurant is just as I remembered it, dimly lit, with neon light lighting here and there in the colours pink and blue. Almost every table is filled. We all get a table that's right in the middle, a few tables away from the stage.

The blue round tables we sit around are filled with an array of delicious food, placed on white plates. The Cheese burgers drip with a smoky sauce. The chips are large, a good balance between crunchy and soft.

The four of us talk amongst ourselves, the conversations never going stale, the laughter echoes from our table sometimes louder than the others.

My gaze always lingers  on Olivia and she catches me everytime.

"I've tasted KFC,"  Dominique continues his conversation on fast food "— but I've never tasted Kentucky Fried Chicken. "

"It's the same thing you idiot." Mkhulu mutters.

Olivia and I share a look and we laugh.

Dominique's expression is like his world has been turned upside down but before he can unravel his discovery—

“Welcome! Welcome everyone to another night at Food and Karaoke!”

It's the same blonde haired man from before and he's dressed in a navy blue suit, holding on to the mic as he speaks.

“You can call me Lime because I'm sweet and sour and not many people can tell the difference between me and lemon aka  Justin Bieber. —” the crowd laughs, me included. (He looks nothing like Justin Bieber.)

“ I know,” Lime continues, a smile playing on his lips. “The resemblance is uncanny.”

The dark pristine floor of the stage is lit by  little blue spotlights. He continues to speak, reviving the crowd and calling up the first person.

The first singer is a young, college aged man with an afro. He sings into the mic, a soulful position but his voice is terrible. No nice way to put it because there's nothing nice about it. It's ear screeching and unexpected.

It sends waves of laughter through the crowd and the guy on stage takes it all with an easy smile. When he's done, he bows, the crowd erupts, laughter still eliciting out of people's lips.

“Thank you very much.” He says into the mic and his talking voice is surprisingly deep. A shocking baritone.

“That's gonna be a tough act to follow after.” Dominique says, nudging Olivia.

“Dominique.” I warn softly, not wanting a repeat of the other night.

Olivia shakes her head, smiling. “It's okay Leo. I can take a little teasing.”

Dominique's smile grows, eyes glittering with something. “ You are the one who texted me about this whole night. She's the reason we're here guys.”

“We figured that out.” Mkhulu says, matter of factly.

Lime gets on stage, his charming smile still in place. “What an icebreaker! If not ice then definitely something, anything else must have been broken with that…talent.”

The crowd laughs. A few tables to the north we see the guy in the afro laughing really hard, along with a lady friend who sits at his table.

“Next up, we have Luyolo July!”

Applaud rings out from the crowd and everyone on my table smiles all except for Mkhulu who seems unfazed by it all. Dominique pats my grandfather on the back as he gets up.

“ Go make history for us Mr July. Pave the way. Walk in the footsteps you want us to follow after.”

Mkhulu chuckles, amusement dancing in his eyes. He leaves, walking past the tables and heading for the stage. A few people seem surprised by his age, a lot of assumptions are already made.

Mkhulu gets onto the stage, he holds the mic unsure about his hold on it.

“Like this?”  he says into the mic.

“Perfect!” Someone from a table shouts, making people clap, cheering my grandfather on before he's even started.

All three of us cheer Mkhulu on as well. “Go Mkhulu!!” Dominique yells, as it goes quiet and the music plays.

Olivia whoops, a smile tugging on her lips.

Mkhulu's eyes, catch our table all the way from the stage.

“This song. It was written by an old friend of mine in highschool. Alex. He wrote it for himself, during the toughest times of his life and when he fell in love the song took another meaning and he rewrote it for the girl he fell in love with. The song like many others never made it to the charts as you kids like to say. He posted it everywhere, he even performed it but the crowd was always too drunk  or didn't really care if he sang the happy birthday song for eight hours straight—” Mkhulu pauses as the laughter rolls in.

He has captured everyone's attention, as if his wisdom, his years are something to be desired by many. It's weird hearing stories about my grandfather that I don't know. He's told me almost everything about his life, about himself and even retells it so much that sometimes I feel like I know everything that my Grandfather is made of.

But in moments like these, where a story from my Grandfather's life comes up, like it was buried and now it's dug up, ready to breathe in the present, I'm reminded of how much I don't know.

My Grandfather, my Mkhulu, Luyolo July is made up of stories told and stories retold as well as the untold stories.

“That was many many years ago,” my grandfather continues, “ and even now. I've checked it—even now the song is unknown. It has thirty one  views, twenty which are his and ten which are mine, the other one we may never know of— ”More laughter ensues, Mkhulu smiles.

“I stole his song, eighteen years ago when my... grandson was born. I made it my own, added lyrics here and there. I never posted it— I'm not insane but I sang it to him as a lullaby for months. It was the only thing he fell asleep to. He's at that stage in his life where he thinks he's all grown up but he's barely lived  life. “

Dominique nudges me, smirking.
“You're famous.” He whispers and we chuckle.

Mkhulu starts singing, his deep, gruff voice folding around the lyrics of  the song. It's a song of comfort, the whole room stopping to a still, ease in the faces of everyone. There's hope in the song and Mkhulu sings it with his eyes as well. He sings it with the steps he takes on the stage.

There's nothing melancholy about the song; it isn't slow but it's ‘soul.

As he sings, a smile tugs on his lips from a few of the lyrics that are a little humorous but endearing nonetheless. I try to find something in me, anything at all that remembers the song but it's new.

It's unfamiliar but it's special, because Mkhulu sang the lullabies my mother was supposed to sing.

Up on the stage, as he sings, to the audience it looks like a sweet grandfather who loves his son. To me it's a lot more, it's about a strong man who broke himself down, made himself, if only just a little softer, to love me.

When the song ends, Mkhulu is smiling. The applause is deafening, the smiles on people's faces, the conversations carried all surrounding him.  I see it, underneath the blue spotlight. I see the tears in his eyes.

Mkhulu wouldn't even have been up on that stage if I didn't ask him to. He does so much for me sometimes it makes me feel guilty. I get this crippling feeling like, surely I'm not worthy of this amount of love.

Mkhulu steps down, making his way towards us. When he settles onto his seat, Dominique clears his throat, nudging Olivia. “That's a tough act to follow. Mr July your footsteps are too big to walk in.”

We all laugh. Olivia smiles, something glittering in her warm brown eyes.

“That was…beautiful Mr July.” She says, her eyes holding my grandfather's hard strong gaze.

“Thank you young lady.”

Mkhulu's gaze strays to me, like he knows I want to say something because I want to say something.

“Mkhulu I —” Mkhulu's phone rings, a loud annoying tune.

“Sorry, Leo. Let me take this quickly.” He pulls out his phone from his jacket, holding it to his ear.

“Alex…. Oh…is she okay…. it's fine…no, no, no it's not a problem at all…thanks for telling me…..I'm on my way.”

From Mkhulu's last words, all three of us share looks, our excitement deflated.

Mkhulu drops the phone but he still seems elsewhere. He's not present.

“Is something wrong Mr July” Dominique asks, concerned.

Mkhulu's shakes off the distant look in his eyes, the look turns to something urgent. “Everything is fine…look kids. I have to go help a friend, Alex. It's nothing to worry about.” He looks at me as he says this.

“But I've got to go. I'll call Bolt. Leonardo can drive Olivia so don't stress I've been teaching him since before it was legal.”

“I'll go with you Mkhulu. We'll all go.”

“No,”  Mkhulu leaves no room for argument. “You guys have fun, take videos of each of your performances. I want to have something to laugh at while I'm away.”

No one cracks a smile at his joke. We want him here.

Mkhulu's gaze strays to me, prodding me to understand, to make them understand. Exhaling, I turn to Olivia and Dominique, forcing a smile.

“It's fine Mkhulu, you can go. This is just another thing about Mkhulu guys. He's always there for the people he loves. Always.”

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

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