So, I failed my English exam.

So badly I thought it was Math. It must be some type of world record because I was  shaken to the core. When Leonardo looked at me like I was the biggest fool to ever exist as he explained that we actually wrote English I couldn't process it well.

The exhaustion I felt evaporated into this hyperstress that led me to  jumping off the bleachers and running. Running so fast it felt like my heart would stop and my lungs collapse. My blazer flew out of my shoulders, people cursed at me as I pushed past them and  Leonardo kept calling my name, reminding me of how much of an idiot I was.

"Dominique!"

I wasn't really thinking. All I knew was that I needed to stop the examiner from leaving school with the papers. I needed to stop her. I couldn't fail grade twelve. Not after making it this far. I couldn't fail, not when my dreams and the life I wanted were at the tips of my fingers waiting for me to take the next step, only for me to fail...

Her white car was driving off and even though the situation was hopeless I called out to her, my voice cracking, desperate.

I caught sight of her face in the rear view mirror. She caught my eye but she didn't  stop or  pretend to be concerned. Instead, she revved the engine and drove faster. She drove past the green school gates, her car taking a turn and vanishing from my sight.

I stopped with a burning chest and desperate breaths that sounded close to a cry. I felt this tightening in my chest and the flush on my cheeks as the sweat dampened every part of me.

The gates closed.

I relented, my knees buckling and landing harshly on the ground.

The exhaustion came back full force, I felt it in my bones despite my racing heart, and heavy breathing. I couldn't think a thought.

I felt a presence beside me and I knew it was Leonardo. He didn't say anything, instead he was breathing heavily  like he was about to collapse as well.

The silence was tense, I didn't like it. Leonardo took a seat beside me a  moment later, still wordless about the whole situation.

How could I be such a fool, was all that I could think.

Jabu.

His name came to my mind and it was like a switch turned on in my brain.

"Dominique, what are you smoking?We're writing Maths today, not English!" He'd said, with that teasing smile on his face.

Jabu kept on denying that we were writing English along with the guys around me, which I realized later were all his friends….

But it wasn't about what Jabu had done.

The foolish thing I did was forgetting who Jabu was to me.

It was a few weeks ago, the day we were writing Afrikaans and Leonardo completely refused help from me. 

"You were the reason I almost failed Afrikaans. I'm not taking that risk again." Leonardo said, making me laugh because it was true.

Didn't he want to remake our memories?

It was while teasing Leonardo, that I spotted Jabu. He was alone, which was weird because he was always in a group. Always.

Jabu had on his don't touch my shoes  grey pants that many made fun of but that he somehow made work.

He held an Afrikaans textbook in hand, scratching his head like it would pull out answers. Instead of the wide grin that always adorned his face, there was a frown.

It was too good of a moment for me to pass it by. I just had to do it.

“Fine. I'll go teach Afrikaans to someone who wants to pass.”

Leonardo had that look on his face, where it was clear he was about to strongly advise that I do the opposite  but I was already off, heading to Jabu.

“Jabu!”

“Jabu!”

The guy was that stressed out that he didn't even harken to  his name. “Jabu.” I said, standing in front of him but he was still sort of dazed, the frown etched in place.

I literally had to pry the Afrikaans textbook out of his hand to get his attention. “ Dominique.” He finally acknowledged, smiling, the stress still evident in his eyes.

“Stressed?”

“Yoh,” he scratched his head for a moment, wordless. “I'm…super califragi—listic espi-elidocious stressed.”

It took a good second for me to process that. I laughed. “ That's not how you use the word but I can tell it's hectic.”

“Yah man.Afrikaans is not my mother tongue so you can tell the disconnect. Eish.” He scratched his head.

“Yah.I get it Jabu…” A pause ensued, with a wavering straight face, I added. “I could help.”

He froze,  the relief flooded his face, his eyes coming alight. “Yoh! That would be grand. Thank you!”

“Sure. No problem man.”

He took the Afrikaans textbook I had, flipping through the pages and I watched him with this smile on my face. I was bad at stuff like this. I couldn't hold it in. I laughed, it was small and suppressed but Jabu noticed it.

“Let's sit down for this. I want to understand it nicely.”

Jubu and I made our way to the bleachers, we took a seat. The morning sun reflected on the pages of the Afrikaans textbook as he pointed at a word.

“What on this green earth is a karretjiegraf??” Jabu’s eyes held mine pointedly, angry, frustrated and like he’d been waiting for this for a while.

I laughed.

“No. Like seriously, mam has been talking about it all year but I'm  in confusion city every time I enter her class.”

Jabu didn't need to be fluent in Afrikaans to understand that.He just needed to pay attention in class or arrive. The two things which he didn't do.

I explained the concept to him correctly. I couldn't just go in, with no tactics. Jabu nodded vigorously at everything I said, his eyes were sort of big, absorbing everything.

I on the other hand…

I laughed a lot between my words, sentences and breaths. It was a little too much.

Either Jabu was really oblivious or he really knew zilch about Afrikaans.

I thought that he would for sure question why I was so giddy but he kept to himself, trying to understand the wrong things I was explaining to him.

They weren't all completely wrong, otherwise I'd lose track of the made up words and the words I translated to opposites.

But they were all words that amused me.All the words that made me chuckle.

Words that would make the person who was marking his paper say things like…

“Was this boy high on drugs when he wrote this?”Or “What sort of Afrikaans teachers does Vestalia High have?”

The bell rang, loud and ominous.

Jabu shut the textbook, breathing out a shuddering breath. “Do you think I'm ready?”  He held my gaze, trusting.

It was weird seeing Jabu like this. So uptight and worried, looking like he breathed  in stress as  oxygen.

This wasn't him.

He was always so loud, carefree and the definition of young and dumb with a capital D.

“You'll do fine.” I said feeling a little guilty.

A little.

Jabu smiled, patting my back. “Thanks Dominique. I owe you. I'll never forget this.”

“You surely won't.” I said through laughter.

He scrunched his face, wanting to ask but deciding against it.

“Good luck!” And he was bidding me off, waving.

Then he stopped himself. “ Oh, I forgot you're Christian, you don't believe in luck. Good…blessings?”

He shrugged, and I laughed.

❄️❄️❄️

There are pranks in which when executed the person knows they have just been pranked. Then, there are those pranks that involve a lot more patience and thought into them.

I didn't know how I was going to break it to Jabu that what I taught him in those few minutes was hot garbage that he shouldn't open up his mouth and say to anyone unless he wanted to be slapped.

I thought about the way Jabu would take it. It would be bad, I thought.

Right after the exam, people were heading home or loitering around in school. I decided I would break the news to Jabu the next day, give him time to cool off and de-stress. The hallway was crowded, the only way you'd get through is if you decided to be a jerk and push past people.

I was tired then too, I wanted to be a jerk. I spent the night watching a marathon of my favourite show, going to bed at six in the morning and my father coming in to wake me, the minute later.

I moved through the throng of students who wanted to get home in a hurry or to their chill spots but somehow this seemed to slow everyone down.

It was the last hallway I was walking through, a lot less crowded but still bothersome. I was on my way home.

I was on my way to my bed!

But unfortunately I bumped into Jabu  and like the morning,he was carrying the Afrikaans textbook. The frown on his face was deeper, his eyes strained.

When his eyes flitted to mine, they were different, a dark emotion passing over them.

“Dominique…” he let his words hang.

Everything within me froze, my thoughts coming to a halt.

“...”

“You taught me all the wrong things…didn't you?” Although phrased as a question, it was  clear he made a statement.

He stated the hard truth.

A pause ensued. He found out quicker than I expected him to. I didn't even expect him to find out.I thought I would have to have a sit down talk with him where I explained—

“Ngikhuluma nawe.(I'm talking to you.)” His voice was harder than I thought it could be, eyes a darker shade.

“Haibo! Why are you in the way?!” A group of girls pushed past, one girl voicing out her complaints.

I moved out of the way, using it as an excuse to go further away from Jabu. I was not ready for the confrontation.

Jabu followed me out of the hallway, in hot pursuit, not losing sight of me through the crowd. When we made it out to the vast field, where students were spread out chilling, strolling heading to the green gates, Jabu took me aside.

The sun hit me,the open air was welcomed.

“You taught me all the wrong things didn't you?” Jabu repeated, he stood in front of me.

Clearing my throat, I tried to find my voice.“All is a strong word. I taught you most of the right things.”

He gave me a look.

“Some,” I confessed.

“Okay a few.”

Jabu took that in, releasing a frustrated breath.

Planning and executing a prank is fun. Suffering the consequences or the aftermath of a prank is not fun.

Jabu laughed in a loud breathy way that held no  humour to it. “ I'm gonna kill you.”

Woah! That escalated more than I expected it to.For a moment I was frozen. Jabu formed fists with his hands and he made a move to punch me straight in the jaw with a left hook.

I felt it and he hadn't even touched me yet but before his fist could land on my jaw, he paused.

I took a breath. “ Jabu…I can explain.”

If he punched me, the exhaustion would heighten the intensity of it and I'd land in a coma for years. At least that's how I felt.

He waited, his eyebrows raised.

“Okay. I can't really explain. It was supposed to be—”

“Dominique, this is my grade we're talking about. I could fail because of this!”

“Woah. Woah. Woah. Let's not get too into our feelings and let's also remember that before I came you were probably going to get a negative eighteen on that exam.”

Negative eighty two, I felt like clarifying and the exam was out of fifty.

Jabu opened his mouth to argue but struggled.“Ok, you're right but that doesn't make what you did any less messed up.”

The guilt.It came,  but only a little.

Despite the seriousness of the situation, I laughed. I couldn't help it. “I’m sorry.” I said, with a sigh, holding in more of the laughter that threatened to erupt.

To my surprise, Jabu started to laugh too. It started off like an exhale, tired and empty, then it got a little louder, sounding close to a sob but then it was even louder. A full blown laugh.

He laughed  and it was more real and free. He threw his head back, his eyes crinkling and his shoulders shaking.

Then we were both laughing.

Despite what had been done, the exam was over. It was behind us.

“How did you figure it all out?” I asked him, curious.

He still had a smile on his face and eyes as he answered.“No one laughs that much while talking about Afrikaans.”

I laughed. “True.”

Jabu laughed and punched my shoulder, playfully and extremely painfully.

“What else?”

“Eish. I don't know...” He scratched his head, pausing. “ You know when you don't know something but you're looking at  a thing and you don't know it but you know that what you're looking at is not it.”

“I know.”

Jabu chuckled.“Yah, man and it felt like something was off. I know I don't speak or understand Afrikaans but I'm very fluent in common sense.”

We laughed again.

“So I'm forgiven?” I clarified, smiling.

“What? No.” He looked baffled. “I'm gonna get you back Dominique and it's gonna be good and it's gonna be unexpected and it's gonna hurt but it'll make you laugh as well. So it's fine.”

I didn't know how to take that. “Oh…ok…sure.”

Jabu pulled a face. “Whatever but watch your back. I've got eyes, ears and girlfriends everywhere.” With those ominous final words he left.

❄️❄️❄️

Jabu got his revenge.

That's all I could think as I sat in the parking lot, with Leonardo quiet beside me. The exhaustion, and the rising of my emotions due to Thandiwe only made his plan even more successful.

Then a flurry of mixed pent up feelings bubbled out of me in a laugh.
An unexplainable, unstoppable laughter that left me teary eyed, with a close to sore stomach.

It was uncontrollable, I laughed hard and loud, feeling the burning gaze of confusion that Leonardo was giving me and it only made me laugh harder.

The laughter died down and I sighed, blissed. I glanced at Leonardo, who's expression was confusion and concern in painting.

"I'm just going to have faith that I did so well in my first two exams I don't even need these marks."

I  got up, dusting myself off and I  took my  blazer  from Leonardo, grateful that he picked it up.

"Let's go home. I'm hungry."

And extremely tired, I wanted to add.

Leonardo stood, still hesitant and unsure about everything. I would tell him everything in a few days. He followed after me, his gaze still burning.

Despite the situation, my heart felt lighter, like I could breathe better. Like there was something in the air, that made life better.

"Aren't we gonna talk about what just happened? Dominique it's ok to be mad-"

"There's no need for that. I failed English paper 3 but my life's not over. I'm confident in my other exams and the ones to come.I guess this is just what happens when you're-" I stopped myself, biting my tongue.

When you're in love, I wanted to say because a fully rested, clear minded Dominique wouldn't fall for a silly prank like the one Jabu pulled.

"Ok. I hear you but how did you even make that mistake?” Leonardo asked, with clear bafflement. “I mean English and math are two complete different things."

"All your questions will be answered seven days from now."

"What's happening in seven days?"

She'll be mine. Hopefully, I thought.

"I'll answer your question."

"Ok." Leonardo said, relenting. For a moment I felt bad for all the added confusion I was bringing into his life but I shook it off.

It was a waiting game, even for me. I was waiting for Thandiwe in some sort of way, for her to be mine. It was a waiting game so that meant that there was a guaranteed end and reward.

I knew I was going to win.

"Ok." I smiled.

The countdown wasn't just for Leonardo but it was for myself included. It added pressure, motivation and drive. I didn't look for Thandiwe hard enough that time.A  whole year where we could've been together was wasted and high school was ending for me,  closing in like walls that threatened to crush me.

I was okay with saying goodbye to a lot of things and people. The change of season was exciting but I couldn't be with her...

I had said goodbye months ago and it hurt and even through the bouts of my laughter it always ended in these sighs of regret.

I couldn't say goodbye to her.

I was going to win Thandiwe over.

Those who wait will not grow weary because victory is guaranteed.

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

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Thank you for still being here, even after everything. I promise I'll make it up to you.❣️