“ Take me to space! Take me to Mars! Take me-”

“—Dominique, I told you that we're going to the grocery store.” I chuckle, swerving the car to the left.

I drove to Dominique’s house first. The moment I told him that I drove  all alone he was beyond shocked, his jaw dropping.

Before I could finish speaking he ran down the stairs and out the house, ignoring his mother's scolding about not running in the house.

I walked out after him, watching him look into Mkhulu's car, his green eyes scrutinizing the windows like Mkhulu had shrunk and he fell in-between the seats.

“You actually drove here!” He gave me a hug.

I told him about how I wanted to drive Olivia and him around and we'd go to the grocery store later and Dominique’s excitement only grew.

He's the friend that's always happy for me. The friend that celebrates me even for the smallest wins.

Now here we are, two best friends on the open road. My heart feels light and from the bright smile on Dominique’s face I can tell it's an emanation of his heart.

He sticks his arm out the window, letting the wind ripple through his skin. “ I can't wait to get my driver's license.”

“Why haven't you?”

“Procrastination. I keep saying I'll do it but then I get lazy. I didn't know you have to take a test in which you write the answers to the questions. I thought it was just hands on the wheels then you get your driver's license.”

I laugh.

“Ok but you're getting it next year. When have you heard of a scientist who couldn't drive a car?”

“Fine but you're paying for my lessons.”

“With my imaginary money and my imaginary bank account.”

“You're too kind.” Dominique plays along.

“Can I play some music?” Dominique doesn't even wait for my answer before he starts flipping through the radio of the car.

After a few minutes of indecision, an jazz song comes up and Dominique to my surprise turns up the music.

It's loud, the rhythm flying out of the car's windows.

The musician's voice is a smooth velvety tone,  unique  to my  ears as he sings with emotion but keeping in time with the beat making for a good song.

Dominique bobs his head and sways to the rhythm of the song and I just watch him, amused.

“You listen to jazz?”

“I listen to my heart.”

I laugh. He continues dancing weirdly and it makes me laugh even more.

The song emanates loudly from the radio, it's rhythm catchy and the lyrics easy to learn on the go.

Even though it's my first time hearing this song I can hear that Dominique’s belting out the wrong lyrics.

He pauses in the parts he gets stuck on, adding new words of his own and it doesn't even make sense to the song.

It only amuses me more as he sings the wrong lyrics despite how easy the song is to learn.

But it's still weird Dominique doesn't listen to jazz. I don't even think he understands the genre jazz. I try to make sense of all this.

“Who introduced you to this song Dom Dom?”

He stops dancing for a moment, his green eyes flashing with something,the smile still present on his face but more tender. “ I heard someone listening to it and got home and searched the song up and now I'm hooked.”

“Who?”

“Six days.” Dominique simply says then he goes back to bobbing his head and belting out the wrong lyrics.

I groan inwardly, the curiosity burning holes in my brain.

Why suddenly all this mystery around Dominique. He's such an open guy especially with me and now he keeps teasing me with his secret knowledge making me wish time travel was a thing so I could go six days from now find out the truth and I can finally RIK—rest in knowing.

But I practice  patience and decide not to press on the matter.

Suddenly, I feel like talking to him about this whole Lisa.B drama and getting his advice but we're almost close to Olivia's house and I don't want today to be about that.

I can't believe I'm even calling it ‘drama' but I know high school drama when I see it.

I was  actually quite impressed with myself and how I've completely avoided it  all the years I've been in school but now I can't say that.

Not with how Wyatt talked to me about Lisa.B like it was his life's mission.

He even sent me a text on WhatsApp last night.He didn't say 'hi' or 'how are  you doing', he was very straight forward.

I didn't even know he had my number.

Wyatt

Leo, it's the weekend, think clearly about everything. Don't lose this opportunity. The boys and I will be waiting…eagerly.

22:43

I kept myself away from the fights from the beef from the group of girls who all wanted to steal each other's boyfriends. Everything. I kept myself away from it all.

But now it's like High school drama is chasing me.

It's like you can't leave High school without a tale to tell no matter how much you want  or try to.

❄️❄️❄️

Olivia

I'll meet you three blocks away from my house. Don't drive right in front. Please.

9:36

I drive on the street of Olivia's house, slowly. Dominique looks out for Olivia while I do the same.

"Do you wanna know what time it is Leo?" Dominique suddenly asks as my eyes search for her.

"I don't know. Don't you have a phone?"

"It's not about me. It's about you. Do you want to know what time it is?"

I glance at him, confused.
"Is this an inside joke I'm not getting."

Dominique's lips curve into that easy smile. " It's Olivia time," he gestures with his head for me to look ahead more to the left.

Even from the distance I can see her;  seated on a brown bench, dressed casually.

As I drive towards her the smile on my face grows, the warmth in my heart like I've known nothing but the cold until I met her.

She's got her head down, earphones plugged in and she bobs her head as she listens to music. She hasn't noticed the car yet.

Olivia's in blue jeans, a yellow blouse, covered with a blue jacket and she's got her braids pulled up into a high bun just the way I like it.

It gives more attention to her lovely face.

I park right by her, she lifts her head when she notices the car. When her eyes meet mine as I roll down the window, she smiles, pulling off her earphones.

“Hey, you guys.”

“Hi.” I smile back, ready to have her in my arms.

“Olivia," Dominique calls, " you'll be riding on the roof of the car. So hop on so we can strap you down.”

Olivia laughs.

Dominique steps out of the car, he takes steps towards Olivia and before he reaches her,  she meets my gaze in question— I’m as lost as she is.

Dominique is fool of surprises.

Dominique is  finally in front of Olivia and he lifts her off her feet, not in that bridal way but like a sack of potatoes.

I laugh.

Olivia screeches , the moment she's off the ground.Dominique holds her a weird angle, making his way back towards the car.

“Leo! Tell him to put me down!”

“Dominique, what are you doing?” I ask through laughter, stepping out of the car.

Dominique lifts Olivia in his arms literally trying to put her on top of the car.

Olivia struggles through his hold, laughter escaping her lips. “Dominique put me down!”

“Not until you tell me where you were on the 12th of October 1861.”

She snorts, her laughter becoming  uncontrollable the higher she's lifted. “What?! I wasn't even born!”

“Ok. That's enough Dominique she might get hurt.”

Dominique sighs, slowly bringing her back to the ground, and the moment her feet hit the ground she breathes relieved. Then she punches Dominique hard.

“Next time just say Hello like every other normal human being.”

He laughs, waving her off and he heads onto the backseat of the car flashing me a smile.

Olivia meets my gaze, still a little out of breath, we're standing three feet apart and for some reason we keep that distance.

Just staring.

Staring at the depth of her brown eyes that always manages to pull me in. Those same brown eyes I fell in love with the moment we first held each others gaze, paying special attention to each other. The same brown eyes I gazed at from afar this whole year.
The same brown eyes I fall deeper in love with every day. I just stare.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” a soft smile grows on her face,
“ Your friend is crazy.”

“I've been told.”

The silence settles over us, weird.

Olivia coughs. “ So, you can  drive?”

“Yeah. I started learning when I was fourteen. Mkhulu taught me.”

“That's illegal but ok.”

We chuckle.

It ends in that tense silence again.

We should be stepping back into the car now and driving off but instead we're standing here, three feet apart with our eyes locked on each other.

“Why do you want me here?”she asks softer.

And like the past few days, it feels like every word Olivia speaks means so much more than I think. Like she's giving me hidden messages. No, not giving me. She's hiding hidden messages in everything she says.

“I'm going grocery shopping so I thought I'd need company.”

She nods.

“...”

“Has a guy ever driven you somewhere?”

Olivia shakes her head, her lips twitching into a smile.

“Great because I'd like to be the first.”

❄️❄️❄️

The car ride to the store is everything I'd hoped it would be and more. Dominique and Olivia banter back and forth arguing over dumb matters while soft music plays on the radio.

Dominique shares crazy stories that I wouldn't have believed were true if I  didn't know who he was. Olivia's eyes glance at me from time to time, a tender smile on her face.

When we got in the car and I started the car,her piercing gaze held me in my place. She watched me drive with this eager interest, her eyes traveling from my arms on the steering wheel to my face.I  wanted to tease her about it but chose not to.

Being the guy that I am, which is a guy that is completely in love with the girl next to him, I glance at her from time to time, watching her look outside the window.

She rolls the window on her side down, letting the wind gush in;  tilting her head to the side,her eyes fluttering shut as she just feels the wind.

Olivia's smooth skin is illuminated by the sun and she basks in its warmth. A smile on her face.

My heart melts at the sight and it becomes a struggle to keep my eyes off her but I force my eyes away and focus on the road ahead of me.

I can't help but smile at how at ease she is with me. How comfortable she is, like she can let herself completely go.

Her face, its utter comfort in a present bliss and it makes something in my heart stir to know that my presence can make Olivia's heart at ease.

To know that me being here may not be a blessing for me alone but her as well.

Maybe just like me, she needed me right here at this moment.

Maybe Olivia and I were meant to be because our broken hearts want nothing more than someone who will…

Stay.

❄️❄️❄️

My eyes are trained on the grocery list, ticking off the twenty second item.

Olivia and Dominique stand not too far from me in the same aisle, packing the groceries into the green trolley.

Dominique insisted that he be the one that drives the trolley. Olivia couldn't care less but it seemed like she was some sort of a perfectionist when it came to packing groceries into the trolley.

“Dominique you've got to pack the things nicely,” Olivia instructs, “ you can't squash the milk with the eggs.”

Dominique groans, slightly frustrated. This is the third time Olivia's corrected him, she isn't exactly pleased with how he packs things.

We're in the fourth aisle of the grocery store, where the freezers are, so it's a little chilly.

“Olivia, it doesn't matter how well we pack it. If we're taking it all out at the counter.” Dominique complains.

“It matters.” Olivia simply says.

I tick a few more things that we've added into the trolley.

“Well my life matters too.”

“What?That doesn't even make sense. Dominique you can't mix the bleach with the bread, separate those.”

He sighs.

“Your girlfriend’s killing me man.” Dominique comments.

I try my hardest not to blush at the g word but my cheeks are burning up and both Olivia and I know Dominique did that on purpose.

“I'll go check the soap in the other aisle.” I say instead, walking away before they stop me.

I hear the faint sound of Dominique snickering.

I'm in the other aisle and the burning in my cheeks is gone, but the warmth in my heart stays.

Girlfriend.

If only.

My thoughts trail in a spiral of all things Olivia as I pick items from the list.

Sometimes I feel like ‘ girlfriend isn't even enough…

Before my thoughts can spiral into something more, I spot Olivia walking towards me, while pushing the green trolley alone.

“Where's Dominique? Don't tell me he ran off crying.”

She smiles, a silent laugh visible. “He saw someone and then he told me that I should find you and he would meet us later.”

“Who?”

“I don't know. He ran off before I could ask, he just told me he saw someone.”

Curiosity kills but slowly...

“Weird.”

She nods.

“How many things are left on the list?”

“Toilet paper, custard…” I call out everything left on the list and she listens.

“I saw a good deal on a few of the spices. Let's go to that aisle,” she drives the trolley and I follow after her.

It's a mundane task. It's nothing extraordinary but with Olivia here with me, the grocery store is the best place to be.

She's a lot more confident as she picks things off the shelves, packing them neatly in the trolley. She's a lot more free with the way she lets herself laugh, not minding the few people that glance at her every time she snorts.

She's a lot more Olivia.

The silence is never awkward but it's also barely there because we're both talking, sharing ourselves with each other in this new way. In this way that brings her closer into my life.

Everything with Olivia makes sense.

Pursuing her makes sense.

Being her friend makes sense.

Kissing her makes so much sense.

And shopping with her makes sense.

She makes sense in my life and it's like there was always a place for her here. It's like we are meant to be, from the way I help her pull things off a really high shelf to the way she helps me choose a better option of the same item.

It's the mundane that I crave with Olivia. I want early mornings and late nights with her. I want short days and long days with her.

I want her…

Olivia and I are done shopping, we search the whole store twice for Dominique but he's nowhere to be seen. We decide to pay for everything thinking he might be outside.

The line is achingly long and it looks like we'll never get home but we get in line anyway.

Olivia's eyes flick around the store bored, the trolley is filled to the brim with everything and she leans on it with her arms.

“Question 26?”

Her eyes meet mine, an unfamiliar emotion passes over her eyes.

“Sure.”

My heart thuds purposefully from the excitement that blossoms within me. When I read today's question in the morning I knew the answer to it immediately.

Before this question was even asked I knew that she was the answer to it because I have been praying for it to become my reality with her.

For her and I, to not just feel like we're meant to be but to truly be meant to be.

I've heard it a thousand times before in many love songs and a few romance books( which I'll never admit to reading) that even a God couldn't separate them.

First of all I don't think they know how powerful and holy God is but that's beside the point.

Why would you want a love in which God himself was against it.

I want for Olivia and I to be meant to be not just in my books but in God's books.

That she's everything he brought for me and that when she hiccuped her way into my life it wasn't a coincidence but it was so much more…

Why have a love story in which God is against it when you can fall in love in the safety and comfort knowing that God himself wants you together.

I want to be sure, no, I want to be certain that God wants us together.

That way I won't be fighting losing battles with a girl I'll never have.

I've always wanted her to be—

“Complete this sentence: "I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”

Olivia stays quiet, her eyes holding mine with this charged emotion.

The depth of her brown eyes captivate me like the very first time but there's this new coldness to it that I've never seen before.

For a moment, I think that I must be mistaken but when a minute passes by and she still hasn't answered I know I'm not.

I can see it in her eyes that she knows the answer but why is she so hesitant to share it.

“We can do it later on today. If you're not comfortable.”

She shakes her head, looking away.

Her voice is barely above a whisper when she shares her answer, it's hoarse like she's just finished crying but there's not a sign of a tear in her eye.

“...Pain. Someone to share my pain.”

She still isn't looking at me. I take in her answer, my heart longing to wrap her heart in a hug from all the hurts she's experienced.

I want to tell her that I want to be that person for her. That I long to be that person for her.

“If, you'd let me Olive bean, I'd like to be that person —”

“You wouldn't understand.” She shuts me off completely.

I'm speechless…

Her tone surprises me, something I never thought I could hear from the delicate voice Olivia holds.

I can't swallow her harsh behaviour and she still isn't looking at me.

“ Maybe not completely,” I find myself saying, softer “ but when you're in love with someone  you'll want to know every hurt  your loved one's felt just so that you can  tell them that you feel it too. Not because you get it but because…”

I search for the right words, and while this happens Olivia's eyes meet mine and she's got that guarded look in her eyes again. Like she needs to protect herself from me.

Like she needs to filter out my words because she doesn't believe a word. Something within me cracks.

“Because  you love them that much that you never want them to experience anything alone. Not even their pain. Because you somehow want to bring comfort the best way you can even if it's a little..."

I search her face, wondering if my words are getting through to her.

" You want to try to make sense of the pain together, layer by layer, wound by wound because…I don't know Olivia. I don't have the right words.”

I'm frustrated with myself, falling short in conveying what I feel and believe.

Olivia looks away, distant.

The line moves ahead, the chatter around us continues but it's like the girl I felt the most intimate with are suddenly worlds apart.

It feels like I'm losing her.

“Tell me what's wrong Olivia? You haven't been the same, since that night at the Karaoke restaurant. Please tell me. I don't think I can take it anymore. I'm going crazy over here in my head.”

“Nothing is wrong Leonardo.”

This frustrates me.

“Look me in the eye and tell me that nothing's wrong.”

She doesn't meet my gaze.

“In the eye Olivia.”

Her eyes flick to mine, fiery for a moment.

“Nothing's wrong.”  Her voice wavers, a fragile tone to it like she's on the verge of crying. She looks away.

“Please Olivia. Tell me. So we can make sense of it together.”

“Leonardo just stop.”

“Olivia.”

“Stop ok. I said nothing’s wrong.”

“Then why are you so cold all of a sudden? This is not my Olive bean. What's happened to her?”

Her eyes flutter shut, and she keeps it closed for a few seconds. When she opens her eyes,there seems to be a resolve that's settled over them.

“Take me home after this ok.”

“Ok,” I reply breathlessly.

We don't speak a word to each other after that. We don't meet eyes and if we do, we immediately look away.

I'm left wondering once again if this is a fight. Wondering why she's slowly changing and slowly drifting away from me…away from my love.

She's here but it feels like she's not.

It feels like this is a completely different Olivia than the one I fell in love with.

A painful pang shoots through my heart once I realize that I didn't even get to answer the question.

I was so excited to share the answer with her just like I was excited that night I planned the karaoke. The excitement built up within me throughout the  day and Olivia  deflated it.

She's pushing me further and further away with painful shoves that hurt my heart and leave me gaping at her in shock.

What is going on God?

“My life,” I finally speak, pouring out my heart wondering if she'll throw it back at me.

“I wish I had someone to share my life with. Someone like you…”

She looks at me for the first time in what feels like forever.

“You don't mean that.” She says, soft.

“I do Olivia. I want to share my life with you. Why do you think I invited you today? Why do you think I wanted to drive with you?Why do you think I let you meet Mkhulu? Why do you think I'm doing this whole 36 Questions thing with you?”

“...”

Her eyes water, she blinks it back but it barely helps.

“I want you. In my future. In my house. In   my kitchen, with the world's best wife apron tied around you. I want you in my car. I want you on my weekends and weekdays. I want you in my life Olivia...”

I'm breathless like I've emptied all of me but at the same time I feel like there's a bucket full of emotions I haven't shared with her.

I said it before that Olivia makes me feel deeply and sometimes I don't know what to do with these feelings.

Sometimes I don't know how to convey them.

“I want to share my life with you Olivia but the question is what do you want?”

My question hangs in the air,her eyes swirling with a thousand emotions as a tear escapes her eye.

Before I can reach to catch it she quickly wipes it off and looks me dead in the eye, a coldness settling over her warm eyes.

“I want to go home.”

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

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26.Complete this sentence: "I wish I had someone with whom I could share.."

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