Dear bhai,

I don't even have the right to call you bhai, but it feels awesome to call you bhai.

I miss you.

Do you miss me ?

I miss you.

I know you don't miss me.

Do you miss my two rakhis ? You remember I always got two rakhi for you. A descent one and one to make you embarrass. I always tied the cartoon one rakhi first and I loved the look of horror on your face. You used to be like,' behan nai.. Ye wali nai. Mai collage mein ye pehan k kaisey ghomonga ?' Then, I used to tie the descent one.

I miss bringing tiffin for you. Making sure you eat it and everyone taunting me that I am biased for you.

Don't you miss whatsapping me ? 24x7 telling me everything.

I miss all those my non-favourite chocolates you got for me.

Don't you miss me ?

I miss someone taking care of me like you did.

I miss someone guiding me the way you did.

I miss someone not letting me sleep because he got stuck in a topic and he wants me to explain him.

I miss someone saying," pardho lo behan fail ho jaogi."

I miss someone understanding me the way you did. I never have the utter a single word and you used to know what's going in my heart.

I miss being spoiled and pampered by you.

I miss being your alarm clock.

I miss fighting with you.

You remember once after giving exam, I went home and slept, you kept on texting me and I didn't reply then you made U call me, to know I am ok.

You remember once I fell down from stairs and I was angry with you, so wasn't replying to your messages. You at night went to the shop got your mobile recharged and then called me to give me a 'take-care lecture'

I miss so many things about you. Everything. If I start writing about them , this letter won't ever get over. And I'll spent the whole night crying.

I miss you. I miss you a lot. I won't ever tell you this, not even to sammy, jyoti or kadu but even after 1 and half years I cry for you sometimes. There is this small space vacant for you, no one can fill it. I'll never give that place to anyone.  I don't know why you mean so much to me. But I miss you. Bahut jayada. I was so dependent on you. For everything I needed you.

Pta hai, sometimes when I see you and right now I just want to hug you and cry. Slap you, shout at you. Why did you let me go ?Ek baar aur keh detey ruk jao. I miss you, I miss you alot. These stupid tears they just get tough to stop. I miss you alot, are you listening to me ?  I was always right kuttey ho tm.

Today when I look into your eyes, I don't find my  old bhai. I find someone new.

I lost you forever and ever. I know things can't ever be same again. I became mature bhai.  I have made peace with things. I don't have any hope of you realising things. Your memories always make me smile and cry. This pain will never end. Sammy says,"With time this pain will end". I know it won't ever, I know. It always be alive in my heart, once in a while burning me with its fire.

I hope wherver you are, you are happy. I can't see you in pain, you are my weakness.

In between now who will laugh on my wedding and tell my husband that he made the greatest mistake of his life? Now whom my kid will call,'bardey naam waley and choti height waley mama' ? Now whom I'll hug and cry on my bidaai and spoil his white shirt. Now you didn't need to get married in a court who has a gol-gappey shop outside it.

P.S- I never listen to song 'Alaah wariyan' from movie ' Yarriyan'.It reminds me of you and make me cry.

I miss you. I miss you a lot.