Today was a trying day. The messages from that dick kept on coming. Not only to me, but also to my girlfriend, saying awful things to her. A constant unwanted barrage of insults, emotional taunts and general nonsense. Todays total message count was 26. 26.... All went un answered by me. That's 4 more than yesterday. And the funny thing is that a lot of them a more than a few lines long. Who has that kind of time on their hands? Oh yes. An unemployed loser. The taunts and insults roll off my back. They used to get to me a long time ago, then as they got more ridiculous, they stopped getting to me and now instead it's so crazy that its funny. Wonder how many I'll get tomorrow. Let's see if we can beat 26!

I felt bad that my girlfriend was stressed at work today, so I thought I'd go and surprise her with a hot chocolate, donut and a bunch of red roses. I that she was happy about it? She looked happy... I don't know. I got a bit of a standoffish vibe from her which made me feel a little unappreciated, but I tried to put that down to her being overtired and over worked. It still hurt a little. It probably doesn't help that a whole bunch of shit was thrown at us today, throwing us both of kilter. It made things hard.

I don't like the thought of anyone hurting my girlfriend's feelings. She's a wonderful person and doesn't deserve that kind of treatment by anyone. I can be very protective.

I don't know how I'm feeling at the moment. A little lost and scattered. I'm trying to write my novel, but I can only polish what I have already written, new words refuse to spill forth. I'm going to try for another hour or so, but I don't know if it will be productive. I think part of it is that insufferable lethargy is creeping up again. It's making it hard to want to do anything right now. Even writing this is a bit of struggle, but i don't know whether its because I made a deal with myself to do this everyday or whether its because I need to dig deep.

Would love to hear from you cats and kittens in the comments about how you're dealing with your own struggles. You're not alone, even if you're feeling that way.

X