A: Why don't you apologize? Is it you who? Pride? You find it funny?

B: I just can't say the words

A: Why? You know you can talk to me. I am your therapist after all

B: Yeah I know. You're nice and you understand slightly but you only see the girl I've managed to perfect through the years to reflect the opposite of the real girl deep inside

A: And who is that girl?

B: A monster. A waste of space. Nothing more than the real picture of the many voices in my head. The real me. Then one no one sees through

A: Why do you think your family questions your love towards them?

B: Because they're the only people I show my true self to...and they way they act is the way you or anyone else would act accordingly

A: Tell me more about this girl

B: She's nothing more than a porcelain marionette who's strings have been cut off after being used. She fell onto the floor like everything else that's useless and shattered to a million pieces

A: ........

B: I'm broken, physically and mentally I've already given up. Not even you can save me anymore
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People ask me why do I isolate myself? Never go outside? Why am I a loner? Would dying make me happier?

They don't understand that I've been hurt by reality so many times that by placing myself in my room is my safe haven. I can be one with myself, think, get things done while not having to be around anyone but myself.

"You're going to have to grow up because that's it how things go. You are going to have to be social later on"

So? I'm not shy that's not the word to describe, I'm very confrontational. Deep down inside I hate the idea that insolent beings live amongst others and believe that stupidity is what gives you i don't know, a rush.

Fuck that. I don't go out there because there are so many fucked ip shit that I can't help correct. "My thoughts are irrelevant" said by my aunt.

"Stop being weird" - Adam my little brother

"Can I ask you something? Why are you so weird? Does that bother you when people stare?" -Mom

"She's embarrassing everyone here" Jesus other brother

"She's a whore. She can't do anything right. Get her out of the house I despise her" -Great Grandmother

.....I laugh in their faces.....referring me to a therapist after I shouted to pity to their pain make them think I was insane. Maybe I am? No correction I am insane but the question is

Are you also insane to notice my insanity?

Honestly, madness lies with us all. You're just too oblivious to welcome it. The great actor portrayal of the sane, sweet, transparent girl is nothing more than insane.

I've never told you this but I went to a psychiatric ward in Miami Children's, a well known hospital for children, for a week because my parent (Mother) found me with a blade against my hand but laughing.

I told her not to worry, it was all a game. Of course she tugged it out, hugging me and telling how everyone in the family is here for me and I'll I did was chuckle and tell her, because of the family in too far off the edge

I'm impulsive, aggressive, a bitch, and the new one the villain. But maybe  you and I should write a story. Where the villain is the insane psychopath and you nothing more than a victim to your insanity.

Angie Out