Toby walks down the halls slowly, thinking about the desperation in Zephyr's voice. He doesn't understand why she wants to save him, he agreed to put her mind at ease. Today was a day for relaxing, Dr. Schwartz said he needed a bit of a break yet Zephyr is bringing his stress levels up. He stops in his tracks when a skateboard rolls into the hallway, he stops it with his foot and sees a boy around Zephyrs age on the floor. "Oh damn, oh- oh no..." Toby stares, curious. "You missed the show."

He chuckles, "Oh yeah? You doing stunts in there?" He asks, looking around the boys room.

"Well, there's no better place to break a leg." The boy replies.

"Fairs. I'm Tobias, most call me Toby. New nurse yet a patient." Toby rolls the skateboard back to the boy who is now on his feet smiling.

"I'm Joey." Joey smiles and Toby chuckles, they both sit on the floor. "What'd you mean when you said new nurse and yet a patient? You breakin' rules over there." Toby laughs and shrugs.

"You could say that. I have cancer, I'm here on a new drug trial and because of my work history, they offered me a job. There's a tumour on my spine and it's growing as we speak, but it's whatever." Joey frowns and sighs. "What?"

"I don't think thats a whatever situation, I think that's pretty rough. When did that happen?" Joey asked and Toby paused, counting in his head. How long had it been?

"Just over a year ago, I think. And yeah, it's pretty rough but if I pretend it doesn't exist then I suppose I'll live. As I said, it's whatever right? The pain sucks but what can you do?" He sighs and plays with the bracelet on his wrist, he can feel Joey's gaze on him, but he doesn't look up.

"I'm sure that attitude is what's giving Zephyr fits." Joey skates between walls, paying attention to not falling this time.

"Yeah, what's up with that? She told me she had control issues or something?"

"Call it what you want. She's got her shit together, she definitely keeps me in line." Joey says, "I get into shit a lot, forget shit a lot, Zeph has always been there to kick my ass in line and keep me alive. And well, here we are." Toby nods.

"So have you two..." Toby gives Joey the eyes, and Joey smirks. "Ever..." Then Toby whistles, causing Joey to laugh.

"No, no."

"No?"

"No. I've known that girl since I was like, born. It's kinda crazy, we've been friends since forever and I admire everything she does and how she does it," Joey smiles to himself and Toby tilts his head. "She's amazing."

"I don't know, mate," Toby stretches and eyes the boy on the skateboard down before smirking, "Sounds like you love her to me." Joey continues to skate between walls, backwards and forwards. The sound of the wheels on the floor was satisfying, calming even. Especially to him.

"Of course I love her."

"Then why haven't you done anything about it?" Toby asks, wondering if Joey was scared of rejection. Then again, it wasn't any of his business.

"Because..." Joey pushes away from the wall and chucklea shyly, "She's not a he." Toby leans up from against the wall slowly and tilts his head, then it hits him. He laughs and looks away, realising it all makes sense now. "Don't worry, I don't like white boys."

----

Later on that night, Toby's bedroom door opens while he's brushing his teeth. He peeks out the bathroom and sees Darling bringing in his med cart that Zephyr had issued to be set in there. Since, after all, he drives her crazy. "Dr. Schwartz said that you suddenly want to be responsible for your own regimen, which is the behaviour I like to see in a trainee nurse." Toby nods and raises his eyebrows at the statement. "Now, Toby baby, don't make me regret this." He smiles at her and retreats back into the bathroom.

Don't make me regret this, Zephyr. You did promise.

----

I'm in his room, I'm in Tobias' bedroom. I try to focus and slow my breathing, I listen to the sound of Joey's skateboard outside. "You're an idiot for this, Toby." Joey says, muffled.

"This wasn't my idea, y'know." Tobias whisper yells. "I have a job to do in like fifteen minutes, Zephyr hurry up!"

I open the door, "Are we still clear?"

"Yes! Now hurry up I need to get dressed!" Tobias says, I roll my eyes at his impatient self. What's a few extra minutes when a life is literally on the line.

"I'm almost done." I rush back into his room and over to his med cart, organising every tub the same way mine are, it must be set in order. Tobias agreed to help me, which means a lot more than he thinks. I set out his pencils evenly, his pencil case, I make his bed, fluff his pillows, I make his room as clean as mine. Some drawings of his catch my attention, there are drawings of lungs with 'Just Breathe' written on them whereas there are also drawings of his disease as aliens and he's the hero killing them off. I chuckle, "You'll get there." I turn to leave by turn around again quickly, setting his phone evenly and closing his laptop. Once everything is ready, I open his bedroom door and Tobias turns to see me. His eyes sparkle. I pretend I don't see it. "Everythings sorted, I uh- I built an app made for chronic or terminal illnesses. It'll alert you when to do your set treatments and take your medication, along with everything else you need to do."

He ignores the information. "You built an app? Like you built an application? With codes and shit?" I smile under neath my mask, his eyes sparkle again. Joey catches on and smiles at me, I pretend I don't see or care.

"Surprise," I turn to walk down to my room, "It's simple, even you could figure it out!"

"Hey! I'm not that dense!" He calls back and I giggle, he sounded offended. Hurt even. It's okay, that's what he deserves for driving me up this wall of madness. I go back to my room, strip down and wash my hands and arms. I stare at myself in the mirror, at every flaw and every scar. Then I think about what I just did, Darling would kill me if she found out about it but I did it for his good. Tobias needs that push in life and I know it, because of my fucked up head, I decided to put my life at risk to save his. All for what? He can't be saved. I know that. But that won't stop me from trying.

I put on a shirt and jump into bed, facetiming Joey. "Okay you- the first time you fall for someone, he's dying. Don't even tell me that's your type?"

"I am not falling for him! All I did was help him set up his med cart! That's it! That's all-"

"Nuh uh! I know you Zephyr, that's like foreplay for you! Don't even deny it, I bet you get turned on thinking about how organized everything is now." I stare at him through my laptop screen with a straight face, then hang up. Asshole. I know I am not like that.

"It's called manners!" I heard Joey scream from down the hall and I laugh. If there's anything Joey needs to learn, it's manners. My laptop dings as I get a text from Tobias.

Just finished a shift, lovers spat?

I click the notification and facetime him, knowing that this time he's supposed to be doing a chemotherapy treatment. He answers and smiles at me, "Are you doing your chemo?" I ask, I don't like to say hello's or goodbyes, I tend to start off conversation easily, there's no need for extra words.

"Yep."

"Show me." I don't believe him, not so long ago I was yelling at him to let me help him and all he could say was 'Okay' or 'What's in it for me?'. People don't change that easily and I know that, he may be a new nurse here, but he's as readable as ever.

"Can't, I'm half naked."

"You're supposed to be doing your treatment right now. Did you take your Prednisolone?" I question, angrily pouting. "Tobias you're supposed to be working with me, not against me."

"Why do you call me that?" He asks, ignoring my question. "Tobias, I mean."

"That was what you said your name was."

"But I also said everyone else calls me Toby. You've called me that once, and yet, never again? Was it you showing human emotions for once, Zephyr?" I blink at him, sighing. "Or is it you not wanting to get attached?"

I sigh, "That's none of your business."

"It's my name."

"And?" I know he's making visible points, I'm just choosing not to see them. "Why don't you do your treatments?"

He chuckles, picking up a pencil and doodling on something. "You just answered my question with another one. I'll answer yours if you answer mine."

I bite the inside of my cheek, "You introduced yourself as Tobias first. Since we were strangers, that's all I knew you as and all I told myself that I would know you as. But..." She takes a deep breath. "When I saw you out on the roof, I was scared you'd die. Now, don't get me wrong, this isn't some love story. I'm not some protagonist that fell in love with you as soon as I set my eyes on you."

"Ouch, heartbreaking." He pouted and I rolled my eyes.

"I just didn't want to see you die, you looked like you had a lot to live for and I didn't want to see you throw it away." He stares at me and smiles, not a joking smile, or a playful one. He smiles a genuine smile.

"Thank you," He takes his Prednisolone and winces when he swallows, I pretend not to notice. "I don't keep up with my regimen or my meds or whatever because I simply don't have the motivation to. Sure, I'm dying. I know. What can you do about it? I'm very, whatever, about the situation. Had a rough childhood, went through some shitty things and told myself I'd make an impact in the world and here I am with terminal cancer. Funny how life plays out."

"Toby, you've made an impact on me." I take a deep breath, he stares at me with wide eyes. "I don't trust you, so here's how it works. We do our treatments together, no matter how different they may be, that way I know you're doing them." 

"You called me-"

"Don't."

"Anyways, you're just begging to spend more time with me, aren't you?" His playful smirk is back, it doesn't take much at all.

"Bye." I hang up. After that, that's exactly what we did. We did our treatments together, we took our meds together, I kept him in line and his company made me happy. Calls would shorten around the time he had to work, but that's okay, I knew he was doing what he should be. His words would circle my mind daily, Tobias wants to make a difference but don't we all? When I was younger, I wanted to be a vet, now I want to be a chef. I wonder what his dreams were, or are, assuming he hasn't full given up.

I know having an illness that won't go away can do a lot to your mental health, so the constant calling can keep his mind out of the dark spaces. From someone who assumed I was deaf, we had become extremely close recently and all through medicine.

I watched him do his treatments, he watched me do mine. Eventually, I learn that his parents refused to move with him because of how much of a bother he was to them and it broke my heart. I've been through a divorce and yet my parents have never said that to me. I asked if that was why his attitude about his health is the reason why it is the way it is and he said yes. Tobias looked me in the eyes and told me everything they did to hurt him and the reason why he wanted to change other peoples lives. Behind that flirty persona are dark secrets I told myself I wouldn't unlock, and here I am.

------

"Divorced diet isn't suiting you, mum."

"The what diet?" She asked, squinting at me. We were getting dinner today, she was around town and had time to stop by.

"You're getting thin, dad needs a bath. You guys are stealin' my look." I take a mouthful of lemonade and smile. My parents used to love each other very much but since their divorce, they haven't really been in the same room long enough for a heartfelt conversation.

"Stealing your look?"

"Mhm."

"Okay, maybe I need this more than you do." She reaches over and takes my lemonade, I grab for it back, laughing. It spills everywhere. She grabs my hand and starts wiping off the lemonade before slowly down and tearing up. She looks at me, crying and I frown, grabbing her hand tighter. "I love you, so much."

"I know, I love you too." I do.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Zephyr." I smile at her, knowing anything I say will increase the crying but it's good she knows she's loved. "I mean it, you're my everything."

"I know, mum, I know." She smiles. I smile. It was nice for a moment before the pain set in.

------

Stay safe, school's are closed now.