You're coming home tomorrow.

I don't know how I'm going to face you.

I know I need to tell you what happened, but I don't know how I'll be able to do so without hurting you. I guess that's the thing. I can't. Not when it comes to these things.

I know it's better that you hear it from me than from anyone else but I don't know how to tell you what I did. I wish it never happened in the first place. Why was I so stupid?

Oh, Richard. I regret doing it - I really do - but sometimes I just feel like you are so distant. I miss those times when you were the one who taught me how to enjoy myself. What happened to that man I fell in love with?

Don't get me wrong, I do love the man you've become today. You're older, wiser, calmer, kinder, but there's also something different about you that I can't seem to click with. It's like we've grown up, but in doing so, we have also grown apart.

I'm conflicted, Richard. Maybe that was why I did what I did. I don't know how to tell you so I did what I thought would soothe my heart. Little did I know it would just make it worse.

I don't even know why I'm trying to justify any of this. It's not like I am ever going to send you any of these so-called "letters".

I guess this is just my vain attempt in justifying what I did.

And maybe to sort out how I feel as well.

Terri