December 6th 2019, three days after Louis' death.

Dear Louis,

I feel like I can't breathe without you. It's like I'm drowning. The water is slowly filling my lungs and I'm just letting it happen, I don't mind it. The feeling of the pressure takes my mind of the emptiness around me.

Liam called me today. I didn't answer. I couldn't talk to him. I haven't talked to anyone. Well, I've talked to you... but I don't know if you can hear me. I hope you can. I won't stop even if you can't, I feel a little less lonely.

When I talk to you I feel like you're right beside me, I feel like I can feel your breath tickling my neck, your feet tucked under my leg like always, your hands wrapped around me, your lips on my forehead. But I can't really. You're not there. I'm alone.

Why did you leave me alone?

I miss you, Lou.

Love H.