Chapter Thirty

The only thought on Makoto's mind is Haruka as he rushes out of the house, barely managing to tug on his boots and jacket. Haruka's jacket and beanie are gone too, meaning he's already made a run for it. Makoto calls for him, chasing after what he hopes are Haruka's footprints in the snow, thinking he's following the wrong rabbit trail until he hears sniffling down by the seaside.

Haruka is sitting on a bench - their bench - legs pulled up closely to his torso. He's so thin and lanky, he looks like he's trying to fold himself in half and make as much of himself disappear as possible.

"Hey..." Makoto says softly, careful to keep his distance, his anger melting away into the ocean. "I'm so sorry."

"It's alright," Haruka whispers, his voice muffled by his legs. "I'm used to it."

No you're not, Makoto thinks. Otherwise you wouldn't have reacted like this.

"He shouldn't have said those things," Makoto continues softly, taking tentative steps closer to the bench, not having the courage to sit down just yet. "It wasn't... It wasn't supposed to turn out like this."

"When do things ever go as planned, anyway?" Haruka agrees with a small, sad laugh.

"I nearly came out to my family back there," Makoto admits with a lopsided smiles. Haruka's eyes widen, but he says nothing. "I'd hardly even questioned my sexuality before. I didn't particularly care for labels, everything just was what it was. I have a feeling I don't even need to tell them. I got a bit too defensive."

"If they find out, they're really going to hate me," Haruka says with a frown.

"That's not going to stop me from being with you, though," Makoto insists firmly.

"What about your dad?" Haruka asks desperately. "He-"

"Forget about him. Forget about it all, Just... God, you must be freezing. Sit here with me," Makoto finally sinks into the bench beside Haruka. They sit in silence, staring at the ocean.

"I suppose I probably owe you an explanation," Haruka says.

"You don't have to-"

Haruka holds one hand up. "Save it, Makoto. Just hear me out."

Makoto bites his lip. After a moment, he finds himself nodding.

"After my sister died and you moved away, I caught up with a bad crowd. They were three years older, they offered me drugs, usually prescription, you know? They weren't my friends, no, but they listened to me, at least acted like they gave a fuck what I had to say. We'd hang out at the skate park, but none of us even skated. Stupid, I know. I got busted by your dad for carrying one night, because of a stupid busted taillight."

"But, you got better, right?" Makoto says, listening intently to his story. "That's what matters most. I'm happy you chose the path of recovery."

Haruka looks lost in thought for a second. "If I hadn't been caught, I never would've gotten better, I don't think. I mean, I still smoke, because I need something to keep me going, and cigarettes aren't nearly as bad as over the counter drugs. But it didn't matter what I chose. By that point, it was too late. By the time I returned to school a few months later, everyone knew exactly who I was and what I'd done. All the others were dropouts anyway, all over eighteen, and ditched me so I wouldn't get them arrested. I was outcasted from everyone, even the people that were the closest things to friends I had."

Makoto's throat feels dry after hearing another part of Haruka's story. "I'm here for you now," He promises weakly.

Promises are worse than lies.

"Don't be so confident in your words," Haruka tells him. "Everyone says that, and eventually, everyone leaves. You already did once, what's stopping you from leaving me again when you realize how fucked up I am?"

"You aren't fucked up, Haruka," Makoto whispers, reaching out to touch his shoulder. "And maybe I can't promise anything, nor could anything I ever do cure your past, but I hope that by at least me being here, I can help you forget it from time to time, have something other than darkness in your mind."

"Why does it seem like we're always talking about me and my problems," Haruka grumbles. "I don't get how how all you seem to care about is how I'm feeling when you just had a blowout fight with your dad."

"...I don't like people worrying about me," Makoto admits shyly, hating the feeling of being in the hot seat. "There's no point getting people worried when there is nothing they can do." A small sigh escapes his mouth. "Sometimes it's just easier to be invisible, be silent, so then you'll be forgotten. No one has to be burdened by it then."

Haruka fishes into his pocket suddenly. "Look, I was going to give you this earlier, before everything went to shit, but I think you need it now." It's a small box, black and sleek in design.

Makoto opens it, revealing a small necklace, a small chain with a tiny, silver star pendant. Haruka looks slightly uncomfortable as he tries to figure out the right words to say. "You... You're the best thing to happen to me, Makoto, and I'm glad i found you again. I want you to wear this, and think of the stars any time you're looking down on yourself. Maybe... maybe it can remind you how much you mean to me."

Makoto's eyes widen at his words, completely stunned but he turns around as Haruka slips the necklace around his neck.

"Haru..."

"Don't forget it, okay?" Haruka whispers. "Don't forget me?"

Overwhelmed with emotion, Makoto buries himself into his shoulder, pulling him into a hug. "Never."

They hug for a minute or two, Makoto holding back every word he wants to say, every tear that threatens to fall. Haruka says he should probably get home, and that Makoto should too before his parents get worried. Makoto says he wants to sit outside a bit longer and Haruka nods, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek and leaving him alone.

Makoto sits on the bench, kicks off his shoes and steps into the tide, picking up seashells and tossing them in. His phone buzzes and he opens the notification; it's a text from Haruka: got home safely. Makoto is responding when he notices the tide has stopped moving, the world freezing in place like a world of moonlight glass.

The hair on the back of his neck stands up and Makoto knows exactly what's going on. Used to Death sneaking up on him by now, he blows out an exasperated sigh. "Hello to you too, Death."

"Try again," An unfamiliar voice responds, and Makoto quickly whirls around, seeing a woman sitting on the bench. She is a very attractive woman of about thirty, with pale skin and dark hair cut in a blunt bob at her neck. She is dressed in a skin-tight dress with a leather jacket on top with matching combat boots. Makoto finds it hard to look her in the eyes, one dark brown and the other red. A beauty mark sits right under her left eye, which is dramatically lined with a thick kohl pencil.

"Who the hell are you?" Makoto demands, his surprise morphing into anger.

"Not the most polite one, are we?" Looking bored, the woman examines her nails, manicured with a black gel polish. Makoto notices she speaks with a British accent, even though she is clearly fluent in Japanese. "Well, I'd say it's a pleasure to meet you, but now I'm not so sure. My name's Chaos. How do you do?"

Makoto ignores her question. "Chaos? What kind of name is that?"

"Not really the reason why I'm here, Makoto Tachibana," She huffs out a sigh, looking annoyed. "Look, I'm sort of busy at the moment, but I need to talk to you about something else."

"Sorry to waste your time," Makoto bites back with a snarl. His hand curls around the seashell he was holding. Who did this woman think she was, stopping time and sassing him, then saying he's wasting her time? Wow, Death's sassiness is really rubbing off on me. When it's clear she's not backing down, he rolls his eyes. "Fine. What?"

Chaos sighs again, as if everything Makoto says made her more annoyed. "Oh, your attitude is atrocious. Such a nuisance."

"Did Death send you?" Makoto snaps.

"God, no," Chaos laughs, as if the idea is so preposterous it is comical. "He most certainly did not. He doesn't even know I'm here. Now that you mention it, I have no idea why Death is protective over you. You're not much of a charmer."

Makoto thinks her words don't make any sense, because usually death is just super cryptic and unhelpful around him. He tries not to take the insult to heart and stands his ground, wanting to cut the chat and get down to business.

"What does that have to do with anything?" He demands.

She shakes her head, sighing. "It has to do with everything, Makoto Tachibana, and unfortunately for me, that's what you don't seem to get."

This only makes Makoto more confused. Her words twist and mess with his mind, nothing she's saying making an ounce of sense. "Just out with it already!" He shouts.

Chaos rolls her eyes. "If you insist," She straightens in her seat, finally looking at him in the eye. "You need to stop whatever you're doing with Haruka Nanase right now."

This manages to piss Makoto off even more and he stares at Chaos in a mixture shock and unbridled rage.

"What?" He raises his voice, losing his patience quickly.

"That's right. You're going to stop this, now. And that's an ord-"

"Stop what?" Makoto interrupts. "There's nothing going on between me and-"

It is Chaos' turn to interrupt, his words cut off with her sudden snort of laughter. "Yeah, right, and I'm the Queen of England. I don't have time to hear your excuses or your bullshit. I came here for only one reason, and one reason only, and that's to tell you that you need to stop this. Now."

"What's it to you?" Makoto crosses his arms across his chest.

"Look, boy," She rises to her feet. "Haruka Nanase is supposed to kill himself on January third of next year, and there's nothing you can do to stop him from breaking his destiny."

Makoto refuses to believe it to be the truth. "No," makoto disagrees. "You're lying."

"You're messing with the space time continuum, a fragile fabric of existence that should not be meddled with, especially of the likes of you," She spits out the word as she points at him, looking down on him like an insect. "No one can come back from the dead, time should never be reversed, let alone rewritten. what you're doing right now is extremely illegal."

"Illegal?" Makoto repeats, slightly taken aback. Death never mentioned anything about breaking the law!

"But this isn't no ordinary mortal law," She continues. "By allowing you the opportunity to save Haruka Nanase from his death, you're breaking the code set by Life himself."

"You mean there's a Life as well as a Death?" Makoto asks, feeling meek. The way Chaos said Life's name makes him realize this character is formidable, more powerful than anything else, maybe even Death. This new information flies through his head and he tries to make sense of it all, but it's too much to take in. Gulping, his stance wavers but he waits for her response.

"Well, obviously. what is Death without Life?" Chaos retorts. "I'm sure you've heard of him before. Most mortals call him God, or some form of it, anyway. Life set up a code of conduct, one that states that no human shall ever associate with Life or Death, nor shall anyone be given their powers of time and space."

She lets out another one of her classic sighs. Makoto figures she must do that a lot. "Death is taking a large risk by giving you your so-called "task". I won't deny it, of course it is sad when someone takes their own life before their time is up, and the occasional exception is made when the suicidal person is crucial for human development, but you should know the time traveler almost never succeeds."

Makoto wonders if Haruka is one of those critical people, and that's why he's been directed to save him, but decides not to ask. He recalls Death's words, telling him that this would be the hardest thing he'd ever do. He's starting to realize this is harder than he ever could've imagined.

"It would just be easier for everyone if you just forgot about Haruka once again," Chaos explains in a soft voice. "You lost your memories for a reason, Makoto, it's time you realize why."

"My memories?" Makoto whispers to himself. Gears whirl in his head, pieces of information fitting together until everything makes sense. "You took them from me?" Makoto screams.

"It's all part of Life's plan," Chaos argues. "I was just doing what I was ordered, and i suggest you do the same. If Haruka Nanase lives, there will be a chain effect of well, chaos."

"Well, wouldn't you love that."

"Not if it's messing up Life's plan. We all answer to him. But you know what? if you want to continue on hopelessly, even though there's nothing you can do to stop him, fine by me. There's only been one person to succeed with this task, and I know you won't be the second."

Makoto decides he's not going to let Chaos stop him. He's going to do this. He knows he can. He's so close, he can feel it.

"Who was it?" He gathers the courage to ask.

"The only one to succeed? Well, you'll be surprised to hear it's that pretty girl from your homeroom, the sweet, ditzy blonde who gave you the present you never opened," Chaos explains sweetly. "Though, I'm sure she'll be happy to explain why this silly task of yours won't go as you had initially hoped."

"You're not going to stop me," Makoto crosses his arms, staring her down coolly.

"Oh, is that a challenge?" She grins, showing off a set of perfectly white teeth. "Well, since you've refused to listen to my advice, I'm afraid you've made things a lot worse for yourself."

Makoto gulps. That doesn't sound good. "What do you mean?"

"Be careful, Makoto Tachibana," Chaos says, taking strides forward and closing the distance between them, holding up his chin with her manicured finger. "You may find that things will start to slip out of place... and before you know it, things will start to get a bit chaotic." She turns around and shoots him a flirty wink before walking away. Makoto blinks, stunned as to what happened, and she disappears into thin air.

Dazed, Makoto walks home quickly, feeling like someone is watching him.

When he gets home, he notices his dad's car is gone and the house is silent. He goes into his room and fumbles around in his drawers until he finds the present, the red bow slightly crushed: it is a phone keychain and a rolled up slip of paper with her phone number scribbled on it in girly handwriting.

Her name is Zoe.

Makoto decides to punch in her number and ask her to coffee the next day. He knows it may be slightly awkward, especially after ignoring the present for a week now, but he will make it work. He'll do whatever it takes for Haruka's sake.

Makoto decides to take a bath to calm himself. He fills the bath with hot water and soaks for a while, staring at the ceiling and trying to make sense of Chaos' words. Just who is Chaos, anyway? He wonders. And why does she hate me and Death so much?

He nearly wishes for Death to come so he can get an explanation, but figures it's not the best time to chat, being in the bath and all. Sighing, he squeezes his eyes shut and plunges into the water, allowing it to block out all noise. For a moment, he is surrounded by darkness, and he is at peace. He stays under as long as he can, but when his lungs feel like they're on fire and his chest is going to burst, he resurfaces, gasping for air.

Half an hour later, he finally gets out and grabs a towel. He exits the bathroom to grab his phone to send a text to Zoe. When he sends it, he heads back into the bathroom to brush his teeth, but he must've dripped water on the linoleum floor, because he slips and lands clumsily on the ground, promptly flinging the phone into the draining bath.

"Shit!" Makoto cries out, his tailbone aching from the fall. "Stupid!" He smacks his forehead. Scrambling to his feet and trying not to freak out, he takes the phone out of the bath and shakes the excess water off. As quietly as he can, he tiptoes into the kitchen and finds a bag of rice, pouring it into a large bowl. Making a silent prayer that this will work, he places the phone in the rice, sets it on his desk and hopes for the best.

He falls into bed, his mind clouded with worries. He feels his heart clench up in fear, wanting for all this worry to go away, when he finds himself hooking a finger around Haruka's necklace, and in it's own way, it calms him.

Makoto falls asleep a minute later, dreaming of the stars.

- - - -

The next morning, when Makoto goes to check his phone, it miraculously turns on. He has a notification: one text. It is from a blocked number.

I warned you to be careful. xx -C

- - - -

A/N: the media is kind of what i imagine chaos to look like but it's not exact and she doesn't have her jacket or red eye but it's pretty good ^o^