(I would put a spoiler warning for the 21 and 22 Jump Street films for the next couple of chapters but the movies came out like a decade ago. Watch them!!)

April 2012

I graduated from Evergreen State University with honors in 1992. I accepted a career with the Federal Bureau of Investigation shortly after where I became a Special Agent on the force. Tom came home. We got married and had three beautiful children together.

We had what we already dreamed of. We got to enjoy those lazy Sunday's where we ate breakfast in bed together in our pajamas. We watched Looney Toons as we cuddled with our kids while the warm sun was shining brightly through the window. Warm hot chocolates were passed around, always topped with marshmallows and whipped cream. We got to read them the Sunday morning comics, and just be together. I loved my life that I got to share with my favorite people.

In 2007, Tom was asked to work for the DEA again. He wasn't contractually obliged to stay with the agency for five years. Instead, he was set to stay for just one assignment. No contact, but it was only one assignment. We talked about it for a while, but ultimately we made the mutual decision that he was going to take the opportunity. What we didn't know was that it would take five years to complete.

I wish we could live through all those happy memories again.

Of course, we broke the rules. Just like last time. He needed to talk to our kids every chance he got. They missed him terribly, almost more than I did. I got to talk to him at night after they had gone to bed, and Tom would try to keep me updated on his case. There was a lot he wasn't allowed to tell me, as it could have jeopardized the safety of all of us. All I knew was that it was drug related, and he was undercover. He wasn't even allowed to tell me where he was stationed.

The kids asked when dad was coming home all the time. It was difficult to explain that he wasn't allowed to come home until his assignment was complete. The first time he left, he would have had to owe hundreds of thousands of dollars if he broke his contract and he would be blacklisted from any career in our field. This time, he was under the same pressure.

It was always worse around the holidays. After the kids went to bed on Christmas Eve, the first year Tom was gone, I went into my room and cried. I missed him. I would have stayed up all night waiting for him, but I knew he wasn't coming home. My heart ached for him, breaking more and more every day he was gone. Another year had gone by where he couldn't make it home. The holidays became just another day that was cold. I sincerely tried my best to make the holidays memorable for my family, but every year they would ask for their dad to come back home.

We were Tom's only line of communication for his old life. We would often get together with his mom and let her know how Tom was doing. She missed him, and always hoped that he would come home to us soon.

A couple years after Tom left again, I was offered a promotion to work at the Chicago field office. I had a few heart-to-hearts with Fuller and Tom before making such a big decision. I talked to the kids, and they were supportive even though I knew that they would be sad to be leaving their school and friends behind in Metro. Ricky was just about to start high school, he made the varsity track team as a freshman. The twins were heading into middle school, and they were already nervous about that. Ultimately, Tom and Doug talked me into taking the promotion. Leaving Evergreen State was one of the most difficult decisions I have ever made, but one of the best.

The move to Chicago was difficult, but the kids did their best to help out. I was stressed, but Tom kept reminding me that this was a good thing. Even though we talked as often as we could, I still missed him. The kids missed their dad.

Tom would write to us almost weekly, and I kept every single letter. He wrote about all the things he was scared of, and what excited about. He said that when things got rough, he would think of the four of us and he would close his eyes just so he can see his family again. I promised to wait for him, just like last time.

Our system worked well until late 2011, when he told me that he was going deeper in handling this intense undercover case, so he wouldn't be able to write for a while. He was not able to write to us, text us, or even call us anymore. He promised that he would show up at our house when he and Penhall were off the case, and every day we hoped he would walk through that front door. I was just waiting for my officer to come back home.

This morning, my phone rang. The kids were at school, and I had just gotten home from a long overnight shift. Ricky just got his license, so he was able to drive himself and his younger siblings to school. My plan was to take a hot shower and take a long nap before taking the kids out for dinner to apologize for not being home this morning. I hate to admit that it happens more often than I'd like, but I get paid more when cases run throughout the night. Besides, I don't have the option to decide to leave early anyways. It is just apart of the job.

The phone had rang after I took a shower to wash the case off me. My hair was started to dry when I flipped it over my shoulder and placed the receiver up to my ear. I glanced at the number, and saw that the area code came from Metropolis. My eyes widened, and I could just feel in my heart that it was Tom telling me that he was coming home. My heart was ready to hear Tom's voice again, after five long months of not being able to hear from him at all. 

"Mickey?" Judy Hoffs said on the other end. Her voice was shaky, and she was never shaken.

My heart dropped. "Hey, Judy. What's up?"

"You're going to have to sit down for this," she began. I immediately sunk onto my couch, where she delivered the terrible news. Doug and Tom were both shot to death while infiltrating a gang in Metropolis. Her voice was low and soft, and I let her speak.

Once she became silent, my mind was blank. I could hear the seriousness in her voice, but I defaulted to denial. There was no way that they were dead. They can't be. The world is not that selfish and cruel.

I let out a joyless chuckle and I said, "did Doug put you up to this?"

"Mickey, please—"

"You almost got me. There is no way this is true."

"Mickey, they are dead. Tom is dead. Doug is dead."

I shook my head while tears sprung onto my red cheeks. "No, no, no they're not. I am going to call Tom right now, and he is going to pick up the phone. I'm going to call him... and you'll see."

"Mickey—"

I immediately hung up the phone and quickly dialed Tom's number. I haven't been able to call him in a very long time, but I just needed to hear his voice. I needed to hear him just one last time.

Ring

Ring

Ring

Silence. Not even a voicemail greeting. In my frustration, I hung up and called his number again. And again, and again. The silence was deafening. I anxiously called Doug, and I received the same response.

Nothing.

My shaky hand put the landline back on its base. I still could not fathom how they were both gone. They had always been such a big part of my life for so long, and I didn't have a chance to see them and say goodbye. I guess you truly never know when it will be the last time you will ever see someone.

The phone rang which made my heart leap out of my chest. If it was Tom or Doug, I was preparing a speech about how they scared me half to death. My eyes darted straight to the caller ID, and Hoffs, J. was flashing on the little screen. I could physically feel my heart drop to my stomach. I exhaled softly before I answered.

I didn't need to say anything, because Judy knew. She asked, "are you okay?"

"I really thought they were going to answer." My halfhearted laugh turned into a choked back sob. I put the back of my wrist into my mouth to avoid gasping for air, while my tears slid down my cheeks.

"I know, I'm sorry."

"How did you find out?" I asked before I cleared my throat. I still was in shock over the fact that they were so close to home for the past five years.

As his wife, I should have been told first. Tom is my husband. His family should have been the first to know before anyone else. That anger made my heart beat faster, until I remembered that Tom had told me just before he left that he was going to put Fuller as his emergency contact. That should have clued me into where he was, but I never picked up on it. Fuller probably told Judy, because he didn't have the heart to tell me himself.

"Fuller called me. He's calling Ioki now, I thought it would be better for you if this came from me."

I sniffed. "Thank you. Does his mom know?"

"Yeah, she does. She is going to call you."

"Okay." I sniffed.

"Are you okay?"

No, I wasn't okay. My husband was killed. I want to crawl into a hole and die, but I can't. I have to be strong for my kids, because they just lost their father. Tears fell down my hot cheeks and I said softly, "I'm okay."

"Take care of yourself, okay?"

I cleared my throat so I could speak. "Okay."

"I'll see you soon. I love you."

I hung up before I could say anything else, and the receiver slipped out of my hand and onto my lap. I put my damp face in my hands and sat like that for a long moment. I could feel my body shaking while trying to hold back the pain I had coursing through my body. I could not believe that two of the most beautiful souls in this heartless world were taken away.

We haven't lived in Metropolis in a few years, but the kids and I have visited frequently. The only family that has ever shown me love lives in Metropolis. I know that Metropolis is a big city, but Tom knew that we always came back either to be with the team or even to be with his family. I began to wonder how many times he saw us but couldn't say anything. How many times he was so close to us, but we had no idea. How many times he wanted to surprise us, to hug us, to kiss us again. Now, we will never know.

I used to lie awake every night, just hoping that he was okay. I felt so broken, like I was missing half of me. I was missing my person.

Red and blue lights reflected off the walls of the living room. I turned around and noticed a police cruiser was approaching the house. I inhaled sharply and clenched my jaw. My heart was throbbing, trying to fall out of my chest. I knew exactly why they were here, and I was grateful that Judy told me first.

The officers were firm, yet caring as they delivered the news to me that my husband was dead. They briefly explained the undercover operation, and that their deaths occurred just last night during the prom of Sagan High School. I think they were aware that I knew, I'm sure my tear stained cheeks and red eyes gave it away. They asked me if there was anything they could do for me, but I was silent. I tried to stay strong, but that is impossible when your heart is breaking.

When the officers left, I sat back down on the couch to try to figure out what I'm supposed to do next. I brought my hand up to my heart necklace that Tom gave me so many years ago. It's my favorite piece of jewelry, and it became even more special to me. The metal was thick between my fingers, and I felt a ridge against the side that I somehow never noticed before. I quickly took the necklace off and examined it closely through my tear filled eyes. I suddenly realized that it had hinges. I found a little catch for a lock which I squeezed, and found that it was a locket. There was a little photo of us in it, from many years ago. I brought my hand up to my mouth, shocked that I was unaware of this part of the gift for so long. I delicately took the photo out, and saw written on the back in cursive, "Tom and Mick, 1988". Time was forever frozen in that photograph. I put the photo back in the locket and closed it and put it back around my neck. I couldn't believe after all these years, he was always next to my heartbeat. Where he belongs.

This wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't supposed to outlive Tom. I was supposed to die when I was a hundred years old, warm in his arms. I could feel the walls of the room closing in on me as I processed the information about the fate of two of the most important people in my life. The lights grew dim, and I felt any sense of hope leave my heart.

Tom's mom called me, and I could hear the pain in her voice as she told me what she knew. She told me that she thinks Doug and Tom should have a joined funeral and she asked me if that was okay. It actually made me laugh, because I think Tom and Doug would have loved that. She said that the funeral was scheduled for next Saturday in Metropolis, and promised that the kids and I didn't have to do any planning for it so we had time to grieve together.

After I spoke to Margaret, I called the high school and dismissed the kids. I had to let Ricky drive them home, because I didn't want to leave his car in the school parking lot. I didn't tell them why until they got home. I never thought I would have to tell them that their dad was dead, and he was never coming home.

___________________________

The worst feeling was waking up knowing I was going to say goodbye to one of my closest friends and the love of my life for the last time. I didn't want to say goodbye, because this one meant forever. I did not feel like I was at the funeral mentally. The kids and I isolated ourselves. I gave each casket a rose and a note of everything I wish I could tell them. I had an emptiness in my chest, and all I wished was just five more minutes with them.

I wore dark sunglasses in an attempt to cover my red eyes, but the tears still trickled down my flushed cheeks. I needed to be strong for my kids, as I have always been. Ricky stayed by my side, rubbing my back gently to comfort me. My fingers latched to the necklace as I listened to the speeches, which made me feel like Tom was nearby, and still with me. It hurt so bad. For a million different reasons, he took the best of my heart and now I was left with the pieces. Now he is in the stars... but that's way too far.

I never thought we would have a last kiss. I can still remember the look on his face as he whispered words just for us to know, the smell of the rain fresh on the pavement from our last date together in Metropolis, and how his beating heart always jumped through his shirt. The way he walked with his hands in his pockets, and how he would kiss me when I was in the middle of saying something will be things I will crave for the rest of my life. I can still feel his arms around me. He told me that he loved me. So why did he go away?

I'm not sure who acquired these, but someone collected photos of Tom throughout the years and I was able to watch his life through pictures as if I was part of his life again. Everyone from Jump Street was in a few of them, so these must have been taken from Tom's home in Springfield. There were pictures of us at our wedding, and the first photos Tom had with Ricky, Zep, and Presley. I used to feel him breathe, but now I felt empty. The way the world keeps spinning while yours falls apart is the most lonely feeling.

I had the opportunity to be alone with him, just one more time. Tom now lays beneath a cherry tree, where his spot will be adorned with lovely pink cherry blossoms come spring. My eyes grazed over the stone that had his name and his birthday engraved in the rock.

Thomas Michael Hanson Jr.
June 20, 1966–April 14, 2012
Always in our thoughts
Forever in our hearts

"Hi, Tom," I choked out. My smile made the tears I was fighting spill over my cheeks. My heart ached for him. I placed some flowers down beside the stone, in colors that I know that he likes. He used to get me flowers all the time, now it was my turn to get him some.

I inhaled deeply, looking up to the sky. I wish we never hid our love, and I wish I never let him go. I know he can't hear me, but I still cling to the hope that he is just one call away. In my heart, he will live forever. "This is the hardest goodbye... I love you. I'll see you again."

If I got to see him again, I know he would ask me how I was doing. I'm not sure if I would lie and tell him that he hasn't been on my mind, or embarrass myself with the truth. That I spent everyday waiting for him to come home to me.

May the light guide your way, and know that every road you take will always lead you back home to me. I'll hold onto our memories for you until I see you again.

It's been a while, I wasn't sure if he was going to recognize me. I've gotten older. My eyes are a little darker. My laugh is a little lighter. My touch is a little gentler. My voice is a little quieter. I want nothing more than to tell him all about our lives, and I want to know about how he has grown too. I'll get to tell him someday. I just want him to know that I'm still here.

After the funeral, the kids decided to go home with their grandma and I drove straight to the chapel. I love my kids dearly, but I needed some time to myself. I sat in my car for a while, in the spot that I parked at every single day. I saw some young looking officers walk up the steps that I used to walk up every day, laughing and chatting amongst themselves. I could see myself in them.

The nostalgia was overwhelming. I wish I could hold Tom in my arms, and just speak to him one last time. There was nothing I would not have done just to hear Tom's voice again. I keep wanting to call him, but I know that he won't answer.

I finally turned my car off and walked up the stairs myself. I cracked open the doors, and was greeted with the same old chapel. Even the smell was the same. But, whoever the new captain is, decided to redecorate. All of the interior decorations that Captain Fuller kept that Captain Jenko left behind was cleaned out. Probably when they first dismantled the program shortly after I left.

I walked in, and a big guy with a leather jacket called out to me from the other side of the chapel, "hey, who are you? This is private property."

"I'm sorry," I said, "I heard that Jump Street was back on, and I wanted to see it for myself."

"You know about Jump Street?" He asked roughly, walking closer.

I took out my badge and greeted, "Special Agent Michelle Hanson, FBI. I was Jump Street."

"Captain Dickson," he said, "I run Jump Street now."

"That's great. I'm glad they started it up again," I said.

"So, I'm guessing you were here for the funeral?" He asked. He had a very tough Compton voice, almost like he was angry.

I nodded.

"Hanson and Penhall were great cops."

"Best ones I know," I agreed.

"You know, I just sent a couple of rookies off as the McQuaid Brothers."

I chuckled, "that's great, gotta keep their name strong."

"Gregg!" I heard. I turned around and saw Ioki walking over to us.

A smile cracked my lips when I saw him. I haven't seen him in years, and he looked great. After all these years, he hasn't changed his hair. I gasped and ran into his arms. He laughed as he asked, "how did I know I'd find you here?"

Captain Dickson left us alone and started yelling commands to his officers. I'm just glad I'm not them.

"Man, I missed you," I said to him.

"I missed you too," he said.

"Hey, hey," we heard from the door. We turned to see Booker flicking a cigarette toward the road and he waltzed inside. "Any love for me?"

"Booker," I said and walked up to him and he gave me a hug.

"Looking good, sweetheart," he said with a soft wink.

"Special Agent to you," I spat playfully.

He smiled and asked, "how's life treating you in the Windy City?"

"It's great, I really like it over there," I said. I was immune to his forever flirty attitude. The years haven't changed him. He looked just like he did in the 80's. He hasn't even changed his iconic hairstyle.

"I hear you got kids now with Hanburger?" Booker asked.

"Yeah, we have three." My voice already tried to break.

"I saw them at the funeral. You've got some beautiful children," he said kindly. I was expecting some sort of crass joke, so I was pleasantly surprised by his reaction.

"Thank you."

We heard a soft knock come from the front. We all turned and saw Judy and our aged Captain Fuller standing by the door. Judy asked, "got room for two more?"

We welcomed them with open arms, greeting them with hugs and friendly pecks on the cheek. We were all still in our funeral attire. It took everything for me not to look back at that door and expect Doug and Tom to walk through and join us.

"What's all this?" We heard. We turned and saw two random cops watching us reunite.

"Who're you?" Ioki asked them.

"I'm Schmidt, and this is Jenko," the short one said.

Jenko was a tall, beefy guy who fit a dumb jock stereotype. I saw a familiar gleam in his dark, hazel eyes. I couldn't help but ask after I heard his name, "Greg Jenko?"

"Yeah?"

"We knew your father," I told him, "he was a great cop."

"You knew my dad? Richard?" He asked.

We all nodded. Last time we saw him, he walked through those doors as a child with his mother. Captain Jekno would be proud to know that his son turned out to be a cop and worked at Jump Street, just like him.

"Weird. Cool though," he said.

"Who are you guys?" Schmidt asked us.

We all introduced ourselves, and Schmidt said, "wow. You guys are like, wicked legendary here."

Jenko asked, "Michelle Gregg? My mom told me that I was named after a cop who worked for my dad, but I didn't realize that that was you."

I blushed softly. "Nice to finally meet you."

"You too."

"What are you guys doing here?" Schmidt asked.

"For the funeral," Fuller said.

"Of our coworkers, Tom Hanson and Doug Penhall," Judy added.

"Coworkers?" Ioki scoffed. "More like family."

"We met them, actually," Schmidt said and pointed to Jenko. "On our assignment, we didn't realize they were undercover. My undercover name was actually Doug."

"Doug McQuaid," I said softly with a little smile.

"We chased those guys around so much," Jenko laughed at his memory. "We had no idea."

"They were great actors," Schmidt added, "Hanson was eating peanut butter every time we saw him."

I chuckled warmly, "that sounds like him."

"Hey-o!" Captain Dickson called out to them, "you asshats have a new assignment."

"Are we going back to high school?" Schmidt asked.

"No, because you're about 50," Dickson said bluntly, "you fuckers are going to college."

Greg and Schmidt excused themselves, and they left the chapel.

We watched Dickson walk off and he yelled at some more of his officers who were looking at the giant bloodied crucifix by the wall. I didn't even notice it because it's been there since 1987. "Stop fucking with Korean Jesus. He ain't got time for your problems, he's busy... with Korean shit."

I chuckled and Fuller asked us, "I wasn't like that... was I?"

"No, you weren't that funny," Judy said and we all laughed.

When my laugh died down, I looked around at the chapel. The memories of my wonderful years here flooded in, and the love I felt for this job filled my heart. All of our first arrest reports were still framed and hanging on the back wall. I could remember thinking that Tom's would never get up there, but it did.

I walked over to my old desk where I could still see the chip in the wood from when Doug dropped his mug on it. I felt a lump form in my throat, and I looked back at the group after lightly trailing my fingers along my empty desk.

"This was my desk... and here, here was where I saw Tom for the first time. I rem-remember the first time I met Doug. He poured salt in his coffee instead of sugar because he was so nervous for his first day," I chuckled at the memory.

I looked around some more, and I could see their ghosts. I could see Doug punching the punching bag that used to hang in the corner, and I could see Tom typing away on his typewriter as he filled out reports with his foot up on his desk. The nostalgia was overwhelming. The realization that they were gone consumed me, and I covered my quivering lips with my hand. I had to stop breathing because otherwise I knew that I would break down. Booker walked over to comfort me, bringing me into a hug.

I wish there was a way to know that you're in the good old days, before you have actually left them.

"I heard that Jump Street started up again a few months ago, so, I took the liberty of making this," Fuller said as he took out a picture frame. It was a picture of all of us Jump Street originals, plus Booker, sitting amongst the unique interior decorations of Captain Richard Jenko. We were all smiling up at the camera, and we all commented about how young we were.

"I remember when we took that!" I said with a soft laugh while Booker wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into a friendly side-hug. "It was right after we busted that drug ring over at Golden Valley College. Tom was so excited to trick them while the rest of you guys were closing in. I wish we did more fun things like that."

"Police work isn't supposed to be fun, Gregg," Fuller said.

I snickered, "I know, I know."

We said our goodbyes, but Fuller asked if I could stick around. Everyone else left, and I stayed helping Fuller figure out where to hang the picture that celebrated the years of hard work we put into this job.

"Gregg, I wanted to tell you that Deputy Chief Hardy wants you to come by his office."

"Why?" I asked.

"He has a job proposal for you."

"My job in Chicago is just fine."

"I know but just hear him out. You might like what you hear," he said.

Our goodbye was a handshake, and I drove to Headquarter's. I haven't been here in years, but it looked exactly the same.

Deputy Chief Hardy took over for Captain Briody when he retired. I was still wearing my black funeral dress. I was welcomed into his office, where I sat down and waited for his announcement.

"The Jump Street Program has reached new heights since it was revamped for modern times. You were one of the originals, so I saw it was only fitting to offer you this position," Hardy said. He had a thick, dark mustache over his lip that I had a hard time looking away from.

"What position, sir?" I asked.

"Your Special Agent in charge has been in contact with the Chief over in Chicago, and has requested that they start a Jump Street program in your district. Research conducted from the eighties and now shows that it is a very beneficial department for major cities."

"That's great," I said.

"Jump Street: Chicago just needs one thing. A captain. Are you interested?"

"I'm a Special Agent with the FBI, Chief Hardy. That's not really my role in law enforcement anymore."

"They think it'll be beneficial for an agent to run the department. It'll be through the local law enforcement, but you'll have direct contact with the Bureau and still keep all your responsibilities as a Special Agent. Think of it as an extra project. You won't have to move your family again, and you'll get more time at home with them. You'll get a raise, and when you decide to slow down and retire from the Bureau, you can remain Jump Street's captain in Chicago if you'd like."

I thought for a moment. Running a Jump Street program seemed like it would be a lot more work than what I was already juggling. However, when I ultimately decide to step down from the FBI, I can fall back on just being the Captain of Jump Street. Plus, I'd get more money.

"Hell, yes," I blurted.

He chuckled, "I'll let them know. Congratulations, Agent."

"Thanks, Chief," I said back and shook his hand.

I left his office and a harsh whistle echoed through the station. "Hey, yo, Gregg!"

I turned and looked behind me to see Captain Dickson holding an envelope in his hand. He said, "this was left for you at the chapel."

"What does it say?" I asked and walked over to him at the entrance. He must have drove from the chapel to deliver this to me.

"Do I look like the kind of person to read others mail?" He asked with a sneered lip and he handed me the envelope.

"Sorry," I mumbled and took it from him. My name was written on the front in cursive, and I ripped it open to find a letter.

I ran out to my car and took the letter out and tossed the envelope to the passengers seat. I scanned the beautiful handwriting that I would recognize anywhere. I could hear Tom's voice as I read it. Tears sprung from my eyes and I cried as I laughed, reading the words on the page that I would treasure forever.

Tom's life was over, but I could remember the beautiful moments when we were together. We were alone, and he was singing this song of our love to me, hidden in the melody. He may not have made it to the end of my story, but I'll always remember what page his name was on.

I hope you this liked this one! It was inspired by the 21 Jump Street film. Don't forget to vote and comment! 😁
Next chapter is Mickey going to her new job in Chicago 🥰