Looking back at everything that happened in the span of the next few hours, I've decided I was stupid.

I was stupid to think that even after what I did, accidentally or not, to that city patrol lady, everything would still be okay. I was stupid to think that the woman dying because of me would be the worst thing I saw that day. I was stupid to hope, I was a total moron for expecting us all to make it out in one piece, still breathing.

~*~

I follow Shemik and Dimitri down more hallways than I can count, wondering in the back of my mind if he's just waiting for a chance to try and kill us both again. Does he feel guilty for that? Does he regret it? He must; no sane person can do something like that and not feel at least a little bad for it.

We're all walking with a knife in each hand, and I hope with every fiber of my being that I don't have to throw another one, don't have to hurt or kill someone else today.

I'm nine, kids my age aren't supposed to be murderers.

I focus on running, on keeping up with Shemik. I'm terrified of letting her out of my sight, because as long as I can see her I can know for sure she's fine.

Dimitri doesn't bother to look back at me, and a part of me is glad. I don't want to worry about looking him in the eye while trying to convince myself he won't betray me again. He and Shemik carry on a nearly continuous conversation, and I find myself listening in as we climb a few more stairs to get to the next floor.

"... The commander ... Taking her blood ... Trying to give himself her talent."

I shiver. I catch enough of what Dimitri is saying to know that wherever Lili is right now, she isn't in very good company.

I'm so lost in my thoughts, imagining my sister having her blood drained several different ways, that I don't realize at first that the others have stopped walking. I nearly run into Shemik, who is standing one or two paces behind Dimitri.

We're standing in front of one of many doors, and I realize with a start that my sister is probably behind this one.

I just hope we aren't too late to help her.

Dimitri lays a hand on the doorknob, turning to look at the two of us.

"One of you get her out of here." He sounds amazingly calm when he speaks, like he's a lot older than his thirteen years, "I will serve as the distraction."

Then he opens the door.

Shemik and I follow him inside, and it only takes a moment for me to recognize the place. It's the room from my vision this morning, the creepy-looking machines still pressed against the walls and the tray of vials and needles still resting near the table. Lili is sprawled across the table now, her eyes closed. There's a soldier standing over her, pulling a needle from her hand as I watch, unable to look away.

Dimitri throws a knife in the soldier's direction, and it sinks itself into the man's jacket. The officer turns, and a shiver runs down my spine at the look on his face. He's smiling as he pulls the blade from his shoulder. He takes in the three of us, giving Dimitri a murderous look.

"It was nice of you to join us, Orlov." he purrs, "You may find it difficult to cause me pain, though. It seems for the time being that I cannot feel a thing."

Dimitri glares back at the soldier, eying the knife he now holds with concern.

"How much did you take, Commander?"

The commander smirks.

"That is none of your concern, boy." he snaps, "I do not give information to traitors. A wise strategy, no?"

In what seems like less than a second, Dimitri has closed the distance. He delivers a kick, and both he and the commander go sprawling across the floor. Shemik considers the two of them for a moment before moving to the table.

Lili turns her head slightly as Shemik looks down at her. The older girl is attempting to lift my sister when a group of soldiers materialize behind me in the doorway.

The commander is on his feet again, a smug look frozen onto his face. He knows we have no chance, and I'm starting to see that for myself. Dimitri follows the officer, scrambling to his feet a second later and crossing to me.

I press myself against the wall as Dimitri stands in front of me, shielding me from the soldiers' view for the time being. Lili shakes her head slightly, and Shemik reluctantly moves away from the table. I'm rooted to the spot, too terrified to move as I watch Shemik raise her right hand. She's holding a knife, the silver of the blade nearly matching the tape that still binds two of her fingers.

In the time I've known her, I've never seen Shemik miss a target, but this time she does. The soldier she was aiming for looks amused, as though he was expecting that to happen. Shemik snarls something under her breath before throwing with the other hand.

Now the man isn't laughing. He's too busy trying to pull the knife from his leg to concentrate on anything else.

The commander steps forward, and Shemik turns on him. I notice that she's several inches taller than the soldier, and I might find that funny under different circumstances.

Dimitri is picking off the other soldiers, and I force myself to look away. He's aiming to kill, and he's doing a pretty decent job of it. One of them drops their gun at some point, and all of a sudden it ends up in Dimitri's hand. Now he doesn't have to waste his knives on them as he fires off shot after shot.

How can he do that? Is it really that easy for him to kill someone?

As the last of them sink to the floor, Dimitri lets the gun drop from his hand. He, I realize, must have run out of bullets after shooting so many times. He hardly looks at the soldiers on the floor as he moves to the table. He lifts Lili carefully, stumbling at first under her weight as he crosses to the door.

Shemik follows him, having left the commander in a corner. The soldier looks like he's unconscious, but I'm still a little reluctant to turn my back on him.

I was right to worry.

We make our way into the hallway, and it's like an act of magic. Brynn's running in our direction, a smile crossing her face when she catches sight of us.

"Brynn!" I'm too glad to be careful, the relief of seeing that Brynn's okay seems to leave me incapable of worrying about anything in the moment.

Brynn looks at me, then as though she knows something I don't, she looks over her shoulder with concern.

I see them then, the small group of soldiers who are chasing her. Two of them drag the soldier, Ivanov, between them, and no matter how hard he tries to fight back he can't seem to pull himself from their grip. I don't see Rose, Theo, or Emilio anywhere, and right now I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad one.

I should probably have been looking around for them, should have known none of us would be safe for a second.

But I wasn't looking. I let myself be happy for a minute, let myself hope that now that we'd found Brynn, we could find the others right away and get out.

I let myself do what all kids like to do. I let myself daydream, making myself believe it would all be okay.

But after that, I'm not sure if it will be.

"Brynn," Shemik is the one to speak, and I'm guessing she read the soldier's mind a moment before, "Brynn, get down."

But poor Brynn isn't fast enough. Shemik takes a step, probably aiming to tackle the smaller girl before harm can find her, but she's not fast enough either. None of us are.

I hear Dimitri curse as the lead soldier's knife catches Brynn in the back.

The girl screams, crumpling to the ground as I ignore Dimitri's shout for me to come back. He's yelling after me, begging Shemik to stop me before one of them tries to throw another knife, or before they decide to shoot me for being such an idiot.

But I'm not being an idiot, am I? Brynn's one of the people I care about, and she needs someone right now.

Brynn is only my age. This shouldn't happen to her.

She is laying on her side, tears running down her cheeks nonstop.

"Brynn, Brynn it'll be okay." I start to cry too, dropping to the ground next to her and carefully trying to pull her onto my lap. She whimpers, wrapping one of her hands around my own.

"No, please. This can't happen again. It c-can't." Shemik sounds further away than she actually is when she speaks, saying exactly what's going through my mind. My parents didn't deserve what happened to them, neither did Katerina. This can't happen again, not to Brynn. There has to be something I, one of us, can do.

Dimitri is still yelling, and for an instant I look up. He's put Lili down, and she's leaning against the wall behind him. He's throwing knives across the hallway at the approaching soldiers, trying to distract them from the easier prey.

Shemik completely ignores Dimitri as she sinks to the ground next to me.

Brynn groans, and I look back down at her face.

Surely it will be all right. Shemik is smart. Surely Shemik can help her.

Shemik can save Brynn, she has to. I can't watch this happen. I just can't.

Shemik takes Brynn's other hand as she meets my gaze. She leans in close to me, and when she whispers the words in my ear I know why she didn't want Brynn to hear her.

"I can't. I can't help her."

I don't know what I was expecting. I don't know what I had hoped for. For a sixteen-year-old girl to save Brynn without any sort of real medical training? I've seen it in the movies, was I expecting that sort of miracle in real life?

In our world, people die, and there's nothing anyone can do about it. It's something I learned years ago, but it's still hard to wrap my mind around.

People stop breathing, stop living, sometimes for no good reason at all.

It's not fair. It's not fair at all.

I'm crying too hard to see straight now, every breath a struggle as I feel like my own tears are drowning me.

Brynn is crying equally as hard, and I can't imagine how painful that is for her.

"Brynn?" Shemik speaks softly as she continues gripping the girl's hand, "It's going to be fine, Brynn. Look at me."

Brynn turns her head, coughing. Blood trickles from the corner of her mouth as she continues to cough.

This isn't right, this wasn't what was supposed to happen. I know this girl, she's the same age is me, and now she's ...

She's going to die.

She's going to die with me holding one of her hands, curled up on my lap like she's a little kid taking a nap.

No.

"I-I'm s-so tired." Brynn's voice is little more than a whisper as she struggles to speak, "I-I just want t-to s-sleep."

"Go to sleep, Brynn. You'll feel better when you wake up." I don't know how Shemik can sound so calm, so sure. Somehow she does it, though.

I wish I could believe her. I wish I could believe that Brynn would be fine, that after sleeping she'll wake up feeling a lot better.

But even though I'm only nine, I'm smart enough to recognize a lie like this when I come across it.

Brynn closes her eyes. She's breathing too quickly, too shallowly, and then she's not breathing at all.

"No!" I sound small, scared, "B-Brynn! Wake up, please. B-Brynn s-someone c-can help you."

I turn my head, vision still blurred. Shemik isn't crying, and I'm not sure what to think of that.

If Shemik isn't crying over Brynn, why am I? Does this make me weak?

Maybe I am.

I don't care.

I'm whispering the same words over and over, and I don't know why. I want to stop saying them, know Brynn can't hear me, but I'm not in control of anything anymore.

"Wake up, wake up, wake up."

I can't let go of her hand.

"Wake up, wake up!"

Shemik is on her feet, not looking at me. She's looking at Dimitri, I think, and I can't help noticing that she looks pretty insane right now. Her eyes are wide, the expression on her face like nothing I've ever seen before.

She starts shouting, yelling at all of us and none of us at the same time. Her accent is brought out in full force as she seems to get louder by the second.

"I knew this would happen. I knew it! Every time, every time someone dies because of me! Why Brynn? Why can't it be me?"

She starts ranting in another language, most likely Polish, next. I feel like someone should stop her, tell her to please calm down, but I can't make myself move to do anything right now. I still haven't let go of Brynn's hand, like if I hold onto her long enough she'll decide to come back.

"Warszawski," Dimitri doesn't raise his voice, but he still sounds like a person of authority when he speaks, "Save it."

Shemik has her back to the door of the room behind us, and it takes me several seconds to realize why Dimitri sounded so afraid. The commander has followed us into the hallway, holding a knife in one hand and moving to raise his gun with the other.