Life.

It's a simple enough word, but its meaning is still a mystery to most people. It's too complicated to really ever understand, even though everyone is always trying their hardest to do exactly that.

I don't know what to do, what to think, now that life has delivered its most recent blow.

I guess I'm supposed to be happy. That emotion makes the most sense. I thought Dimitri had killed Shemik, killed my brother. But they're both relatively fine, though at the same time they're not.

None of us are "fine" right now, because there's supposed to be one more of us and we all let her slip through our fingers.

Poor Brynn.

I keep seeing her on the day the soldiers captured me. I can still see the look on her face when I left that stairwell, went back to the hotel lobby to try and save her. I remember the way she looked at me as she told me those soldiers had killed her father, the way I hardly knew her but still couldn't help feeling sorry for her.

I saved Brynn from the soldiers that night, but now they've won. They've taken away her life, their actions leaving an impact on the rest of ours in the process.

I should be glad that the rest of us are still here, some of us more so than others but at least we're still breathing. I repeat this in my mind over and over, somehow hoping I can make sure the statement stays true.

At least we're still breathing.

~*~

I'm being thrown forward, eyes flying open as the seat belt I wear keeps me from finding harm in the form of the windshield. Emilio curses, starting off in English and working his way through several different languages as I blink, trying to wake myself up enough to figure out what's going on.

I must have fallen asleep at some point, and I've woken up feeling a lot better than I have at any moment in the last four days. Emilio has turned off the radio. Other than the teen's curses, everything is quiet.

"Emilio?" My voice seems too loud, my tone slightly fearful as I turn my head to look in his direction. The dashboard clock is telling me that it's twenty after twelve, and aside from our headlights it is pitch black outside. As I look at Emilio, I catch sight of the figure from the corner of my eye. They're caught in the beam of our headlights,shuffling their way across the road as though they weren't almost obliterated by the car.

"Inhumane." Emilio sighs, "Just an Inhumane."

He takes a deep breath, looking into the backseat before turning back to the road.

"Where are we?" I can't help asking the question, glancing out the window in a feudal attempt to make something out in the shadows. I'm guessing that we've been on the move for about two and a half hours or so, though that isn't very useful to me right now in figuring out where we are.

"The middle of nowhere." Emilio answers around a yawn, "You're probably expecting me to, but I have no idea what I'm doing right now. There's only one place left that I know of to go to, and I told myself ... I swore I wouldn't be going back there."

He takes another deep breath, gripping the wheel so tight it must be at least slightly painful.

I look back to the road in front of us as we start moving again, the Inhumane no longer in the path of our vehicle as we drive down the roadway. I contemplate whether or not to ask the question, gaze moving to the backseat to catch a glimpse of the rest of our group. All of them appear to be asleep, none of them so much as stirring.

I close my eyes, opening them again as I decide that I have to know the answer. I can't stand one more uncertainty in my life right now.

"Where are we going?"

At first, Emilio doesn't answer, and I've just about convinced myself that he's not going to when he speaks.

"Florence." he says, fighting off another yawn, "If I can remember how to get there."

"Italy?"

He nods, gaze still fixed on the road as he keeps his focus on driving.

"Did you plan on driving all that way yourself?" I demand, unable to keep the surprise out of my voice, "Doesn't it take ages to get there?"

Emilio sighs, this time looking at me.

"Don't worry, Lili," He sounds as though he's trying to convince himself not to as much as me, "I will switch with someone ... I can get Dimitri to drive when he wakes up. I suppose I have to trust that he won't find a way to get us killed."

"Dimitri's only thirteen." I don't know why I'm defending the boy, because I resent him just as much as the others right now, "He ... He didn't know what he was doing. He didn't think."

"He was thinking." Emilio snorts, "Thinking about himself, and no one else.You can't use his age as an excuse, Lili. You are younger than he is, and I know you would never think of doing something like that."

"Everyone's different." I argue. Emilio doesn't answer, and I find myself frightened of the silence. I need something to concentrate on, a conversation to keep me from getting lost in my own thoughts right now. I don't want to think about Brynn, about Ivanov, about anyone else I've seen dead.

"So, Florence?" I ask, searching for something else to talk about.

"Where I'm from." Emilio says simply, turning the car to accommodate a bend in the road.

"Why did you leave?"

He doesn't answer right away, and I feel the need to backtrack.

"I mean, you don't have to tell me. I was just wondering."

I can see Emilio shaking his head in the darkness.

"Don't worry about it," he says quietly, "I need something to talk about."

He's silent for a few minutes, probably thinking about what or how much to tell me.

"I guess I left because of my parents." he answers finally, "They thought I would let them dictate my life, and even then I was tired of it."

"Isn't that what parents do when we're young?" I wonder, "Mine were like that with some things, but I never really thought of it in that sort of way. They were trying to keep Jason and me out of danger when they made rules about places we could go, and I guess most of their other rules were there for a reason too."

Emilio laughs, though the sound is devoid of humor.

"I am sure your parents weren't trying to tell you who and when you would marry, or what you were going to do with your life." he snarls, "Thanks to mine, I am never going to become a diplomat. I never want to become someone like my parents."

I stare at him, eyes wide.

"You must have had friends there, though?" I say, voice sounding as though I'm asking instead of asserting a fact, "What about them?"

"I was twelve when I left. Most of the people I called friends were just the kids who sat next to me in a class. We never talked outside of school, and the one person my age I talked to every day was the one I was supposed to marry when I grew up. Our parents made some sort of agreement, I guess. She was a Superior, I was a Superior, and they thought that was perfect."

"Holy crap."

"That is one way to put it." Emilio agrees, "I guess Alessa and I were friends, but I don't miss her. She was ... She ... There was just something about her that terrified me."

"I see." I murmur, even though I can't imagine it at all.

Emilio doesn't answer this time, and I resolve to watch the numbers on the digital display change.

12:56

1:09

1:35

The minutes seem to go by in a blur, the opposite of how I expected time to pass. Occasionally, we drive through a city, but it seems as though we're intentionally avoiding most of them. I can't say I blame Emilio for that; cities haven't exactly been friendly to us lately.

The clock on the dash reads two-fourteen when Emilio pulls the car from the main road and starts down a small lane.

"I can't do this anymore." he's muttering, "Maybe for once someone will take pity on us."

I notice the large house at the end of the lane, suddenly nervous as I wonder if these will be the next people to attempt to shoot us, or to try killing us in a new manner entirely.

Emilio parks the car, shutting it off as he turns to look at me.

"I'm going to be right back. Watch her... watch all of them," he takes a last look into the backseat before opening his door and stepping into the shadows. There is a single light on in the house, and I wonder if the owners are still awake at this time of the night. If so, what are they doing? What are they thinking about tonight?

I can make out the shadow of Emilio's figure as he stands on their doorstep, probably knocking on the door at this exact moment.

"What's going on?"

I jump, feeling my heart rate increase as I inhale quickly.

Theo, it's only Theo.

"You scared me." I accuse, turning around as far as I can to look at him. Jason is still sleeping on his lap, but Theo's looking wide awake. He bites his lip, looking at me before squinting in the direction Emilio disappeared in. With the lens of his glasses still cracked, he isn't having much luck in seeing the older boy.

"Emilio's trying to find someplace to spend the night." I explain, sounding much calmer when I speak this time, "Everything's fine. We're fine."

"No we aren't!" Theo snaps, "Brynn isn't fine, is she? And Shemik ..." He trails off as he turns his head, watching the oldest member of our group as she sleeps.

"Okay, you're right." I admit, not willing to argue my point when it's clearly an invalid one. Theo looks at me with an apologetic expression now, seeming older than his eleven years as he sighs.

"No, I'm sorry. I just don't know what's going on anymore, or how to stop it from happening."

"I know. It sucks."

That was the understatement of the century. He nods, silently agreeing with me.

Neither of us speaks after that, both of us lost in our own worlds until Emilio makes his way back to the car. He opens my door, gazing down at me apprehensively.

"Come on." His voice sounds strained, like most of our nerves.

I stumble out of the vehicle, standing next to it as Emilio opens the rear passenger's side door. As soon as he does, Rose's head moves, eyes opening almost immediately. She looks purely terrified, and Emilio starts whispering something to her. It sounds as though he's speaking another language, whatever he says seeming to calm the eight-year-old down. She makes her way to the ground, coming to stand next to me and taking my hand as Jason and Theo climb out on the other side.

"Dimitri." Emilio still speaks quietly, his voice a bit harsher as he looks at the Russian, "Orlov, wake up. I'm not carrying you."

Dimitri stirs, mumbling something I don't quite catch as he wakes up.

"Are you going to wake her or no?" he wonders, gaze landing on Shemik's still-sleeping form.

Emilio shakes his head, groaning as he attempts to lift her. While they're the same height, Emilio can't have more than forty or fifty pounds on Shemik.

Dimitri gives Emilio a look, muttering something about how Emilio could save himself the effort by just waking her up. I can see Emilio's reasoning here, though, and for a moment I contemplate telling Dimitri to be quiet.

You don't have to think about life when you're asleep.

When you're asleep, you can't try to...

"Lili?" It's Theo again, his hand landing itself on my shoulder as I flinch, "Lili, come on."

Looking around, I realize that Emilio is on the move, carrying Shemik as Jason and Dimitri follow closely. I snap myself back to reality, pulling Rose alongside me as the rest of us make our way toward the strangers' house.

I'm suddenly nervous again, not quite sure what I'm expecting or what I'll find. I can't help wondering, too, what we look like to a stranger. I know already that, after my days in captivity, my hair is a tangled mess and I probably look like death personified.

I hope we don't frighten anyone too badly.

Emilio stops on the doorstep, and I get my first glimpse of the home's owner as she opens the door. Her deep brown eyes take us all in, a pitying look crossing her face as she smiles at our group. Her hair is pulled back in a braid, as though she never got around to taking it down. A few strands have set themselves free, falling across her face as she turns, gesturing for us to follow.

"Try to stay quiet." she murmurs, "My daughter is in bed, and if she wakes up there'll be no getting her back to sleep."

"Yes ma'am." I acknowledge, entering the house behind Theo.

She leads us up a staircase, stopping in the midst of a hallway. Two open doors present themselves, facing off across the hall. The two rooms seem nearly identical, and I can't help wondering how often this woman has guests in her home. She ushers Rose and me toward the door on the left of the hallway, sending my brother off in the other direction with Theo and Dimitri.

I step inside, taking in the entire space as the stranger continues talking with Emilio in the corridor. There is a large, comfortable-looking bed in the center of the room, a nightstand on either side of it. On one of the small tables, I can see a large book which immediately reminds me of the dictionary I used to keep in my room back in Mathers Hill. There's a dresser in one corner, a window in another. Next to the window, a rocking chair sits stationary, inviting someone to have a seat.

Rose and I take off our boots, both of us curling up on the bed a moment later. The voices in the hallway have gone silent, I realize as I look at Rose.

We wait in silence until Emilio opens the door. He makes his way across the space, depositing Shemik next to Rose and me as his gaze sweeps over us.

"Are you two okay?" he questions, still sounding pretty stressed.

I give him a noncommittal nod, but he doesn't press me. I guess I'm doing pretty okay considering what the commander put me through, and everything that's gone on tonight.

Emilio curses under his breath as he fights with the laces of Shemik's boot, attempting to untie it and failing miserably.

Rose gets up, walking to the other side of the bed and taking over the task. Emilio watches her slip off each of Shemik's boots, placing them next to mine before returning to curl up next to me.

"You need to sleep." I say, giving Emilio as stern of a look as I can muster, "You look stressed, and like you could fall asleep standing up."

Emilio sighs, but doesn't argue. He turns, making his way to the door and closing it silently as he steps out.

Closing my eyes, I focus on breathing deeply. We need all the sleep we can get, and it certainly wouldn't hurt me to get a bit more before dawn. I'm expecting that to be difficult, mentally bracing myself to be awake for a while, but before I know it I'm drifting off. Everything seems to disappear, my worries temporarily vanishing as I let sleep claim me.