"So can you tell me what happened" the therapist asked almost demanding, the young woman across from him stared out the tiny window of the office her brows furrowed at the doctors question. He already knew what had happened but he went with a code 'you won't feel better until it's all flushed out' it's bullshit he knows it, the woman is a lost case. "I've already told you" she almost whispered at the doctor playing with the loose bandages on her wrists, "I know but we have to evaluate the predicament you are in" he started "..and why this sudden diagnosis of depression had started" he stopped for a second scribbling something on his board "were there signs? maybe sudden-" the woman snapped at him "you know there weren't any signs, you KNOW what happened why push the topic?" The doctor pushed his falling glasses back in the bridge of his nose looking at the girl through slit eyes "Ok Miss let's just calm down" the woman slouched in her chair crossing her knees scowling at him "I AM calm" she spat "maybe you're just a shitty therapist" the doctor took off his glasses staring at her stern his face like stone  "this is a judge free zone" she came back before the last syllable was spoken "judge free yes sure-- judge free" she mocked him making quotations in the air with her fingers "you write down everything I say just to give to other doctors to judge if I'm a basketcase or not" she sneered at him as he rubbed his temple harsh like. "Ok you know what?--" he replied to her comment as quiet as he could he placed the clipboard and pen onto the floor next to his chair "no pen no writing no judgement"  she looked at him clearly pleased at the outcome "now can we begin?" he asked. She quickly folded her arms at the question, she knew if she doesn't tell him that he will not stop till he hears the story again, "it was 2005" she began her eyes wondering back to the window as she talked "I almost died, technically I did die for a few seconds" "We went to a party that night, it wasn't a very big party just a few people"
she went on "Vanessa's friend Davie he-- was a dealer" the doctor looked intrigued "dealer?" he repeated questioningly she shifted uncomfortably in her seat "a drug dealer"

"Suck it up" she stated in a 'just so you know' manner as the tip of the needle sucked the liquid up from the spoon

"Heroin" the doctor stated leaning back the woman nodded, ashamed "I didn't know then" she confessed frowning "I was very isolated, very innocent as a child" he pinched the bridge of his nose "how did you become friends with her?" he asked signing she stared him in the eyes "I met her a school, she was a quote on quote bad girl and I was a goody goody. I was drawn to her, she was everything I wasn't everything I would never be" her eyes quickly darted to her hands "at least I thought". She rocked her chair slightly "I shot up that night, that was the first time I felt so alive" the corners of her mouth pointing upwards before dropping into a frown "they fed so much into my system, they did not know I didn't either, we were so high everyone was so happy they didn't think to care"

"Fuck, come on girl we've got to go" Vanessa laughed at the girls limp body "Are you-?" the girl jerked trying to breathe gasping for air.

"You overdosed" the doctor replied bluntly closing him eyes firmly she nodded "I was pronounced dead" the woman stated "I was but they brought me back" the doctor opened his eyes wide looking at her "-and you said in a earlier session that you were diagnosed with depression a few weeks after this happened?" she shook her head in quick sharp movements. "You were in and out of the hospitals every other week for months because of failed suicide attempts is that correct?" again she nodded her head staring at her bandaged wrists "I didn't feel like anyone wanted me after what I did, I wasn't innocent anymore I was just like Vanessa" her voiced dropped into a hearse whisper "I couldn't bare to look at myself".
She breathed deeply "I slit my wrists the first time, it seems a little stereotypical right?" tears formed in her eyes "so much blood I vomited, that's how my parents found me covered in my own blood an vomit" the woman wiped her cheek roughly her skin turning puffy and red "it spurred off from there every other month like clockwork".
"It was like this evil entity-- this evil ghost hanging over me I tried so hard I really did but the drugs never work" she looked back at the window with puffy red eyes "they just kept an eye on me then gave me a smirk sending me back to my apartment" he stopped her before she could talk more "apartment?, you weren't living with your parents?" he questioned really confused "they kicked me out after I dropped out of high school, they disowned me right then and there telling me to pack up and get out" all emotion in her voice was gone. Suddenly a bell went off "Well our times up for today, go back to your room until dinner ok?" he smiled at her with kind eyes, she nodded slowly getting up striding towards the door. She opened it wiping her wet cheeks she almost bumped into another girl her jet black hair swaying as the woman narrowly avoided her they made eye contact before moving on.
The other girl stepped into the office swiftly as she closed the door behind her "Oh hello-" the doctor paused reading his clipboard "Vanessa, welcome to your first session."