Iftia: Lyx Palace, Rowan's Bedchamber

• Rowan •

She asked him if he loved her. 

How do I explain these feelings to her? 

He loved her since their first encounter. The moment they locked gaze, he fell deeply into the aureate brilliance of her eyes. There was light and warmth that he never felt from anyone else, except for his mother. He knew she was a few years younger than him but she held an air of confidence and bravery that one would never find in a girl of her age. To him, she was different, or maybe even special. All that he ever felt for her were fluttery but never fleeting. 

When he lost his mother the following year, he thought he had lost all the light in his life. Then, he was reminded of her. He wasn't sure why that brief encounter meant so much to him but in his memory, she shined in gold. She was the only light he remembered. Hence, he held onto the last bit of radiance and hope in his life and struggled through the grief. Days weren't easy, but at least he had her there with him. 

He held her in his mind so much that whenever he could visit Thethia, he would go to the place where they first met but she never appeared again. There wasn't even a single trace of her in the entire huge land of Thethia's Royal Grounds. It was as if to all intents and purposes, he made her out of his imagination. But his heart refused to give up because what he felt was too legitimate and perhaps it could also be out of desperation that he wanted her to be real. 

Then, ten years flew by with him still believing that she existed. He trusted that they were simply geographically apart but under the same azure sky. Maybe it was true that all things come to those who wait or the Goddess herself took pity of him and arranged for a fateful meeting, he woke up one fine day to those mesmerizing amber eyes staring at him once again. 

At that moment, he felt lost in a space that doesn't even exist and that he was being held in the air, in a pause. Time had stopped, together with his heart. When he looked at her, what he saw was a breathtakingly beautiful lady that left him perilously gasping for air. She was her even after ten whole years, brave and magnificent as ever. 

He was attracted to her in a way that he wouldn't even hesitate to render himself defenseless and bare all his vulnerabilities to her. He trusts her without knowing her and those emotions were so overwhelming and complex. It was almost an unfathomable concept to formulate. 

So, do I love her? 

Yes, so goddamned much. 

But even the word 'love' could not provide an apt justification for his feelings for her. Without a single hesitation, he would hand his entirety to her. 

※

• Elianna •

She stared at him as he went silent. His brilliant blue eyes speckled with confusion and something incomprehensible that did not sit well with her. 

Should I have not asked? 

She felt her body shook. Her entire body was trembling in fear while an unexplainable ache bloomed in her chest. She wanted to say something but words no longer lodged inside her throat. But she was glad that she was unable to speak because it would save her from versing him with brash soliloquies of everything that ran through her head right now. 

As powerless as she was to halt the snowstorm beyond the walls of Lyx, there was nothing she could do if he didn't love her. Yet, she knew that it would kill her, claw in deeply into her heart and torment her from deep within. 

She always believed that one should never plea for anyone's love. The course of love should be natural — if it was yours to take, it would be yours to keep. Still, her mindless blurt of that random question 'Do you love me?' could possibly lead to his heart-wrenching exit out of her life. Maybe she really shouldn't have asked. 

She loosened her grip on Rowan's arm before lowering her head and avoided his gaze. Disappointment poured all over her and the anguish simply grew. 

"Eli?" He called her, ever so tenderly. Biting hard on her lower lip, she forced her tears back. She wanted him to leave but realised that she was in his bedchambers and her legs had lost all the strength to carry herself back to hers. 

She felt him moving closer and the bed dipped under his weight. He cradled her into his arms and it broke her. At this point, her teeth had gnashed and lacerated the skin of her lips. She tasted her own blood on her tongue but the pain was incomparable to those she felt rooted in her heart. 

Jerking her shoulder, she attempted to break free from his hold but he had held her firmly in place. Out of desperation, she released her shadows, forcing him to back away. Then, a sudden glow surrounded him and her shadows disappeared in an instant. She attempted again with greater force, but all her efforts yielded the same results. 

"Let go of me!" she cried. 

"Eli, you don't understand—" 

"What do I not understand?" she laughed dryly. 

"Eli, I—" He tried to explain but his voice was strained. 

"Please don't say things I don't want to hear," she pleaded. 

"No, please listen to me." 

She wanted so badly to cover her ears and pretend that everything had not happened. But she just remained where she was, awaiting for an answer that may break her. Before she let him speak, she said, "Rowan, it's okay if you don't—" 

"Ab imo pectore, amor meus."
(Translate: From the bottom of my heart, my love.)

When those words sounded in her ears, she froze. Her will to get out of his embrace vanished instantaneously. His back went straight and his muscle tensed. His body spoke in a way that expressed his nervousness but from the way he spoke she knew he meant his words earnestly. 

Because no one speaks the sacred language unless it is the absolute truth. 

Emotions grew inside of her, filling her to the brim and threatened to overflow. She could no longer care about whatever constraint that was holding her back. 

One hard shove, she broke away from his tight hold. Those cerulean blue eyes dulled slightly when they looked at her with hurt in his eyes. But she didn't bother uttering a single explanation. Her fingers curled firmly on the back of his neck and pulled him to her, matching the shape of her lips to his. She kissed him in a way that was neither soft nor gentle. It was hungry and even animalistic, with yearning desire and boldness. 

She needed to feel him. She needed to know that all those moments they had shared weren't a dream. It was a desperate need to prove that his answer to her question was not a mirage. 

※

latin was chosen as the sacred language, no special reasons. i simply love the language.

anyways, just to explain a little. although each kingdom had its own magic language, (e.g., thethians uses thethiac), the sacred language was used by all. all the kingdoms believe in the Goddess, they just had different customs and traditions to pay their respects to her. i don't understand much about religions, and i wanted them to be simple in my book. so, please overlook this as a potential small flaw in the plot.