"for you, i would." 

Rivia: Ajayib, Town of Central Rivia, Elianna's Residence

• Thunder •

When Thunder returned to the house again, he caught Kiran walking out from the dining hall. She nodded at him in acknowledgement of his presence and he stopped her to ask, "Had she returned to her room?"

"Yes, Elianna had requested for Jana to take her back," Kiran said, before continuing, "Can I say something?"

"Please do," Thunder responded.

"Please don't be so harsh on her. The whole thing had been really hard on her too," Kiran breathed a soft sigh. "When I found her in the midst of Meissa Palace's garden, she was all alone and helpless."

"I know," Thunder muttered in a low voice. "I was frustrated only because Eli always felt that she owed it to every one of us. For all that we had done for her, she carries it on her shoulders like a heavyweight."

"She loves all of you and that's why she did what she did," Kiran reminded.

"That silly girl," he tutted.

"To err is human, Thunder," Kiran chuckled. "I hope both of you can talk it out and release the tension."

"Thanks, Kiran."

"I consider us family," she smiled politely and headed into the kitchen.

※

Standing in front of her door, he hesitated to enter when he heard her sniffling and her muffled cries from the inside. Remorse consumed him, knowing that she grew up only having everyone walking away from her and he did that on her, twice even.

At this moment, he had wished he could punch himself in the gut. From all the years he had known her, he understood well that instead of lashing out at the people she loved, she would choose to cry alone by herself. I'm a darned prick. He scolded himself harshly.

Pushing on the door slowly, he entered into her space. Elianna was all curled up by the corner of the sitting area with her head buried into the soft cushion as she cried. Her sharp senses caught him immediately when he entered and she hurriedly threw the cushion aside and wiped away the tears discreetly. Clearing her throat, she asked, "Kiran?"

"Eli, it's me," he muttered, truly repentant.

"Thunder, I—"

"I'm sorry," he apologised, walking close to her as he settled down in front of her. His hand reached to wipe tears away from the corner of her eyes and he said, "Please don't cry anymore."

"Please don't be angry at me. Please don't leave..." Elianna ended up sobbing even harder as her hands clutched onto his sleeves. He felt her shaking and the desperation in her sobs pierced right through his heart. She cried, "I'm so scared of the day that you'll walk out and never come back."

"I wouldn't leave you alone, Eli," he comforted, still feeling apologetic but managed to poke a little fun as he tried to ease her crying, "Jason would kill me with copying boring scriptures if he knew that I made you cry like a little girl."

"He, himself, was very guilty of it too," Elianna responded funnily, still sniffling as she sulked unhappily.

"He should totally hear you now," Thunder laughed.

"Doesn't make you a better person," she complained pettishly.

"Yes, yes," Thunder patted the top of her head and grinned teasingly at her. "I can't believe that you're going to be a mother when you're still very much like a child."

"Who's like a child?!" Elianna's temper grew in an amusing manner.

"You, my dear." As usual, Thunder argued till the end.

━━━━━━━━━━

Rivia: Meissa Palace, Maidservants' Lodge

• Elianna •

"Are you sure about this?" Jana asked.

"I wished I had other choices," she murmured sadly, her heart weighed heavily in her chest. "Let's go, Jana."

They each picked up the silver trays from the kitchen and walked towards Rowan's quarters. Jana carefully knocked and his voice sounded from the inside, "Come in."

Passing through the door, she heard his deep, mellow voice calling out to her in an incredibly soft manner, "Elisha."

"Your Highness," she bowed, with hurt growing right within her chest.

"I had been looking for you everywhere," he sighed, lowering his voice to express relief. "Where have you gone?"

"Elisha was out of the Royal Grounds with some of the maidservants," she responded politely.

"I see," he mentioned.

"Your Highness, we would leave for you to take your meal." Lowering the tray carefully, she managed to place it properly where Jana had guided her hand to. As they were about to turn and leave, she felt a hand grip onto her wrist to stop her. The warmth of his palm caused her heart to hammer against her chest as she was well aware of the reason that he had stopped her. His heart remembered to love you. Ilias' words crossed her mind and all the ache within her chest swelled. Swallowing the lump of emotions that had formed in her throat, she steadied herself and asked with the usual politeness, "Your Highness?"

"Please stay with me until I finish my meal," Rowan said to her before addressing to Jana, "Would you kindly give us a moment?"

"As you wish, Your Highness," Jana replied respectfully. "I would be waiting outside for Elisha."

When the door clicked shut, Rowan pulled on her arm gently and gestured for her to settle beside him. She moved carefully, supporting her growing stomach as she lowered herself to sit.

"I apologise, I hadn't realised that you're with a child," he mentioned, surprised. When she was settling down, she realised that he had added a few more cushions around her, allowing her to sit more comfortably.

"It had only been a few months, he hadn't grown much to be noticeable," she smiled and she was sure that he hadn't noticed it simply because of the overly wide maidservant gown which kept her figure underneath when she stood.

"I had a lot of questions, Elisha," he said, sounding slightly solemn.

"I wish I had answers for you," she muttered faintly.

"Your child." He approached the topic in a very careful manner.

"It was out of love," she responded.

"Then, it meant you're married," he exhaled, with a mix of relief and something else in his tone that she couldn't quite make sense of.

"I'm not, Your Highness," she smiled, though her fingers tangled nervously with each other. The urge to scream everything that weighed in her heart was so strong. Excruciatingly, she forced herself to remain composed as she explained, "We simply promised ourselves to each other."

"You love him." The pinch in his tone was apparent now.

"You're right," she admitted. "I love him dearly."

"That's great, Elisha. I'm happy for you," he said, but his voice was distant.

Then, there was silence as they sat by each other's side. A million words formed in her mind but it was beyond her abilities to tell. She struggled internally, holding herself back as she waited patiently for him. But Rowan had refused to utter a word and the only sounds in the room were the gentle clinks of utensils as he moved with grace when he ate.

She could only wonder if he was feeling hurt by all her words, without knowing that all she had talked about was him. Even as they sat so close to each other right now, it felt as though their hearts were miles apart and in a distance that was almost impossible for her to reach. The previous conversation had invited awkward tension as it settled suffocatingly in the air between them. Lowering her head, she focused on listening as he ate his meal, moving from plates to plates until he placed the utensils down and held onto the drinking glass. At this moment, her heart sank as she whispered his name silently in her heart.

Rowan.

Mentally counting the seconds, there came the expected shattering sound of thin glass upon its impact on the tray. She used magic to prevent the shards from hurting him and turned her body to support his falling body. Her arms held onto him carefully, lowering him against the soft cushions. A small hiccup was followed by the stream of tears that had flowed from her eyes when she could no longer contain all the brimming emotions that had threatened to spill while she sat beside him the whole time. She murmured sadly, "Rowan, it's you. You're the one I love and it would always be you."

She settled beside him and moved her trembling hand over his eyes as she began incanting in Thethiac. Magic energy channelled from within her body towards her palms. "This time," she whispered, pausing a little to press the hurt back into her before she continued, "Memento oblivisc."
(Translate: Remember to forget.)

Laying a brief kiss on his lips, she stood up and walked towards the door. Just like that, she had once again erased every traces of her in his memories, hoping that this time his heart would treat him better than the last and that it would forget to love her. She took every dreadful step towards the door as she listened to her own heart shatter in a way that would never mend. The pain remained even when he loved had vanished into the brittle air, in a manner too scattered for her to weave everything back. She joined Jana from outside and slowly closed the door.

Farewell, my love. 

※