Iftia: Lyx Palace, Elianna's Bedchamber

• Elianna •

When she went through the portal and returned to her bedchamber, her legs had lost all strength to carry the weight of her and all the guilt from within. She stumbled forwards and fell right to the ground, dry heaving with nothing left in her but she still couldn't get rid of all the disgust and revulsion.

"Eli?"

Her head jerked towards the voice and saw Rowan approaching her with an expression filled with worry and genuine concern. At the sight of him, a choking heaviness clamped against her chest. Inundated by her own sadness, anger and guilt over Earl Wayland's death, she struggled to breathe with no air in her lungs. Suffocated and out of breath, her hands reached towards Rowan excruciatingly.

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• Rowan •

A moment ago, he was still in his study, trying to finish up the official documents that had never seemed to stop piling on his desk. With a sore neck and aching shoulder, he returned to his bedchamber to take a bath and changed into his night robe. He had missed her for the whole day and decided to pay a visit but found himself entering an empty bedchamber instead. Then, his attention went towards the faint trace of magic on the portal and guessed that she had returned to Thethia.

His mind conflicted on whether he should wait for her here or return back in a while to check if she had returned. But judging from the current situation, he's glad that he had waited for her.

The first thing that jolted him out of his relaxed stance was the overwhelming stench of blood that followed her through the portal. His eyes went straight to the hand holding onto a pair of leather gloves were drenched in blood and the stark red contrasted against her pale skin in an obnoxious shade. However, the only thing that provided him relief was that he knew the blood did not belong to her. Those blood belonged to someone else.

When he held her in his arms, she cried more violently than the raging tempest beyond the walls of Lyx. For someone who always held herself with equanimity even in the face of utmost difficulty, she had refused to break quietly this time. Her wracking sobs were in such a desolated manner that he couldn't bear to listen for long.

"What happened, love?" he asked with desperate urgency in his voice.

"Rowan—" she wept, opening her mouth with no words being said. Her hands clutched onto his arm so tightly that her nails dug deep into his skin. And because words had failed her, she groaned in gut-wrenching agony in order to express the rawness of her pain.

His heart clenched painfully in his chest, wishing so hopelessly that he could take away all the hurt that she felt. Lifting her up, he carried her into the bath and cleaned off all the blood before changing her into a comfortable set of clothes and brought her towards the large bed. He tucked her in and turned, wanting to get off the bed.

"Where are you going?" she panicked, sitting up almost immediately as her hands shot out to grip onto his arm tightly.

"I'll be right back," he comforted. Despite not knowing what had happened to her, there was no way he was going to leave her struggling through the night alone. Just that, he wanted to change out of his blood-smeared robe. It wouldn't make sense for him to stay with her while reeking of blood.

Yet, it seemed that she hated his suggestion because she tugged the blankets aside and curled her hand onto the back of his neck. She crashed into him, their lips sealed with him feeling the turbulence of her emotions through their kiss. Fear, desperation and need were in total shambles.

He quickly broke off the kiss and pulled her away, he breathed her name in an attempt to catch her attention, "Eli—"

"Don't push me away," she pleaded. "Please, Rowan."

"I need you to think, love," he entreated.

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• Elianna •

Thinking was something beyond her abilities right now and all her mind could think of was how she needed him. All the urgency and ache within her wanted him to be here with her. Protesting against his request, she shot forward forcefully to kiss him again. All her emotions were displaced from the encapsulated bottled that she had hidden so well up to now and she needed him to take them all away from her before her own darkness and shadows devour her in full.

The way she kissed him was clumsy and messy but managed to show how much she didn't want to let him go as Rowan pushed her back down on the bed and hovered over her. He entangled his fingers into her hair and deepened the kiss. The first touch of his tongue on hers ignited a blast of desire in her as her insides scorched with need and her mind went blank in an instant. She could feel his restraint thinning when he pulled on her hair and brought his lips to her bare neck, nibbling onto her skin with his teeth and leaving a trail of reddened marks along the length of her neck.

She pushed herself closer to him and rolled her hips against his length. A guttural groan was elicited from him and he pulled himself back to establish space between their bodies. Slightly infuriated, she reached for the waist tie of her night robe and pulled it off in one swift motion. The thin black silk slipped off her shoulders and along the curves of her body to reveal her pale skin underneath. She left herself bare in front of him and noticed that Rowan's throat worked on an almost unendurable swallow. His piercing blue eyes were nearly searing right through her skin as he strained, "Please, love."

The last thing that she wanted now was for him to hold back. So, she reached for his chest and pushed him hard, forcing him down into the bed before she straddled against his hips. Her hands fumbled with the waist tie of his robe and ripped it off the moment she had loosened it. His eyes went wide opened as he looked towards her, drowning her in the vast ocean that he held within those orbs of blue. She pulled open his robe and pressed herself against him.

She felt him caving into her whims and his own desire through the tightened grip of his hands on her hips. He pressed her harder against him and she arched her back at the sudden feeling of lightning zipping through her veins.

"I love you," he whispered to her, earnestly. "I love you, Elianna."

Those words gutted her and cut her right open as she felt undeserved. Everyone who loved her always ended up dying because of her. It was all because of her. While she wanted his love, she was also terribly afraid of losing him. She knew that if Rowan were to die because of her, she would never be able to live through that.

Yet, she couldn't let him go. It's so selfish of her, but how could she let go of the best thing that had ever happened to her?

Ignoring all the guilt and uneasiness, she lifted her hips and wrapped her hand around his arousal. Lining herself with him, she pushed herself in with one swift motion. The sudden pressure within her had punched air right out of her lungs as she choked on a breath and Rowan had breathed out her name in a harsh whisper at the sudden intensity.

She panted as she rode him. Her movements were blundering but he accommodated to every slightest detail in the way that made her feel cared for. She knew she shouldn't be doing all these while being hazed on the mind because thing got frantic really fast and there was nothing stopping them. Unable to keep up with her own rationality, she continued to move, pushing him deep into her until she felt him close.

"Eli," he frowned slightly, trying to lift her off him.

It was foolish to not to heed onto his warning but she latched onto him because she was also about to be tipped over. Helpless, he tightened his jaw and wrapped his arms around her to pull her close into a tight embrace. They were both released from the tight tension at the same time, ecstasy rippling through their entire being. She whimpered slightly when she felt warmth poured into her and filling her.

Eventually, he brought her back to the bath and ran a warm towel through her body. When he was done, she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and buried her head in his shoulder while he carried her in his arms towards the bed. Rowan had refused to say a word, and it complicated the emotions she felt within her.

"Are you mad?" she asked softly.

"I'd never be mad at you, love," he replied, kissing gently on her forehead. "I just wished I had restrained myself better."

"I needed you," she explained. "I didn't want you to hold back."

"Eli, it went out of control," he sighed, placing her down on the soft sheets.

Without saying anything, she pulled on his arm and got him into the bed with her and he moved close to hold her towards him. There was nothing between them. Their skins touched and their legs tangled together under the sheets. Feeling the warmth of his skin, she closed her eyes and drifted off into a dreamless slumber.

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