I love Angela for so many different reasons, one of them being how much fun she is.

The first night I move in with her, we go clubbing together...with her mom.

Angela's mom – Auntie Sun, is an interesting character. And terrifically attractive. She's been everywhere, seen everything, and is open to trying everything at least once.

Which of course includes...clubbing. It was Auntie Sun's birthday, what better way to celebrate than to party it up after a nice meal?

And so here we were at SiTong, a popular night club frequented by foreigners and Chinese alike in downtown Tianjin. Like Auntie Sun, it was my very first clubbing experience in China. I was brimming with excitement. We enter a beautiful high rise building, walk down a winding staircase of polished marble, and arrive at a glittering wall of gold bird cages housing ravens, which hung over a small pond sprinkled with red rose petals. We ended up sitting at the coolest seat, or more accurately, bed, in the house - the Dragon's Bed. (Why does this remind me of the TV series Dragon's Den?)

This bed was like a mini house. It's a four-poster bed with a canopy on top, carved out of rosewood. Hanging off the center of the bed "ceiling" was a red lotus flower, illuminating the entire bed with a seductive glow. There were padded cushions made of embroidered yellow silk everywhere. We sat cross-legged around the short and stubby little wooden table on the bed eating watermelon and drinking pre-mixed Jack Daniels and Bacardi Breezers, while the band played American music on stage. Auntie Sun blended in just fine, in her olive sweater and black pencil skirt, classy as ever, "I feel like a mama-san sitting on this bed with the two of you!" (Mama-san is a woman who works in a supervisory role in certain establishments in Southeast Asia, typically those related to sex work.)

Angela called up a couple of her friends to join us, two tall, handsome boys in their twenties, Leo and his little brother. I felt tiny standing between the twin towers, being at eye-level with their perfect pecs even in my five inch heels.

I love being around Chinese guys, they make you feel like such a woman. The way they walk with you, frame you with their bodies, blocking others, and even telling you where to stand, makes you feel like a little bird in their mighty presence. Leo's shy younger brother, though not a man of many words, has a face that speaks for itself. He should be on television for being so good looking. I couldn't help myself from stealing glances his way throughout the evening. He was afraid to look at me, while I loved gawking at him. We did get to dance a bit. Thanks to Angela. Our awkward dance must've have looked like lady gaga wooing her body guard – my busting out all of my best moves trying to make an impression and his standing stiff like a totem pole avoiding eye contact at all cost. Angela whispered to me in secret, "he's a couple of years younger, but for a summer love interest, he'll definitely do!" I can't believe she's putting such thoughts in my head! I mean, I would consider it...

If he'd only ask for my number!

Until the very end of the night, he never asked for my number.

Maybe I was being too forward with all the dancing and staring? Maybe I'm not their cup of tea? You know, the kind of tea for authentic Chinese men?

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But the next day, I did get to go on a date...

With Angela and her "blind date", as the honorary third wheel.

Before I go into detail about the date, I should tell you a little bit about Angela. Angela's my good friend from university. Charming, witty, funny, direct, cute as a button and has a smile that lights up the room. I could take her anywhere and grandmas and grandpas, aunties and uncles, basically the general population from the previous generation would fall in love with her instantly. A princess at heart. But without the fussiness. Clear headed on the things that matter, and quite muddy headed on the things that don't. Not the most organized and diligent student, but efficient and effective at cramming. She always did better than me on last minute cramming sessions, especially if it involved math. We'd spent many nights studying together, painting nails, talking about boys, sharing diet tips, I'd tell her how to be sexy, and she'd tell me how to be classy, and I'd crash on her couch and she'd make me soggy instant noodles in the morning.

After graduation, much to my disappointment, she moved back to China immediately for, well...love. (Don't you just hate it when men steal your favourite girlfriends from you?!) I've known her for many years now and seen the boyfriends come and go, all of which were seriously considered for marriage. I really thought she'd be married by now.  I had twice planned to come back to Tianjin for her wedding as the maid of honour and twice the plan fell through. She is turning 30 this year. Thirty is an awkward age for a single woman in Tianjin (even though it's the third largest city in China, after Shanghai and Beijing, people are still somewhat conservative here), where most girls have serious boyfriends at 23 and get married at around 25. At 30, you really are considered, kind of... left over.

Angela's mom is determined to find her a husband, this year. She's fully retired but completely at work with this matchmaking business for my dear friend. For a woman, in the eyes of the Chinese at least, happiness for the latter part of her life is largely attributable to the man she chooses to marry. Choosing the right man, is almost more important than choosing the right career. I have heard a famous Chinese actor say, and he's well known for being a great husband, "If you want a woman to be more beautiful, give her more bliss." A beautiful woman is a happy woman. A happy woman is happy because she's in a blissful marriage. Auntie Sun is such a woman.

Auntie Sun, when you first look at her, you don't immediately think she's a wife, or she's a mother, you'd think she's a woman, first and foremost. Years of child rearing, of duty and responsibility haven't left a trace of bitterness or hardship on her face. All you see is beauty and grace and peace. Like life has been a smooth flowing river, and she a boat, letting the gentle current carry her, running its course.

Now that she's recently retired, her days are even fuller than when she was working. When she's not busy scheduling men for Angela to meet as potential husbands, she's taking photography lessons, getting facials at the Spa, or going to badminton practices. One week she's in Vietnam and the next she's ready to check out Bali, perfectly happy to pick up her bags and head out on her own. Smooth as silk in all kinds of social situations. She's someone who gets happiness, who won't stress herself out over nothings, or belabor over duty, or force her daughter into doing things against Angela's will. She's a caring and thoughtful mother with the enthusiasm for life as a twenty-year-old girl. And she has impeccable taste: she likes my panda eyes.

Auntie Sun used to work as a flight attendant, back when it was a glamorous profession reserved for only the young and beautiful and privileged. She later on married the captain of the flight crew, before he became big and successful. It's the classic fairy tale of a woman from a distinguished family, who marries a man from the village for nothing but love. The man later on becomes successful, and they live happily ever after. It really worked out that way in their case. You see, like dreams, fairy tales sometimes do live in reality.

Auntie Sun is trying to replicate this success formula with Angela's man-hunting mission.

And I get to go on these matchmaking dates with her.

The first boy I meet is the son of one of Angela's customers. Angela has a good job working at Chinese bank managing money for rich people. A couple of her premier clients really liked her and introduced their son to Angela, which makes logical sense, "Hey we trust you with our money, why wouldn't we trust you with our son?"

The boy is 28, good looking, educated, has a stable job and comes from a rich family. Check, check, check and check. On paper he's perfect. But when it comes to chemistry...not so much. They went to watch a movie while I got my nails done, and then we all went for dinner together. Being the observant third wheel, it's clear as day that Angela's not into him. But I didn't exactly understand why, until later, when she explained things to me, "He's two years younger than me. Some of the things he does or says still make me feel like he's immature." A lot of girls prefer guys who are older. If not older, then at least more mature. We don't go through dramatic events on a regular basis from which to judge a guy's character, but we need to make a decision nonetheless, and quickly. So we watch for the details. Love is in the details.

One time, Angela, her date, and I went to Beijing on a day trip. A friend I'd met in Toronto was acting as our tour guide and showing us around town. When we came out of a popular tourist spot, empty cabs were few and far in between, since it was also a long weekend. While all of us were standing in the middle of the street in the heat and wind trying to flag down a cab, Angela's date went to sit at the curb to rest. She later told me that was very impolite of him. "It's your friend from Toronto, who's doing us a favor showing us around. He's not even his friend. How could he just sit like a spoiled brat and wait to be served a cab?"

You see, a lot of women, no matter how independent, or mature, or accomplished, deep down, they really just want to be taken care of. It is very easy to tell quite early on, whether the guy is up for the job.

And he wasn't, so the search continues.

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After the weekend with Angela, I moved back home and promptly signed up for an 8 day trip to Yunnan with a travel agency.

Before I left, aunt was really helpful in reminding me of all the little things I should bring, "Here's insect repellent, sunscreen, face wash, bring some shampoo because the ones at the hotels will make your hair dry like wires, oh and do you have a case for your glasses?" Chinese parents are like that, they'll scold you like there's no tomorrow and support you when you're about to leave. And I'm consumed with guilt.

I started washing the dishes after that. 

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The next morning, I was off to Kunming.

Kunming is the capital of the Yunnan Province. It was a 5 hour flight with a half hour stop-over in Changsha. My first impression of Kunming was green, poor, and agricultural. Looking from the sky, you can see patches of green, white and brown. The brown being undeveloped soil. Yunnan people have their own dialect and way of speech so distinct that it's virtually incomprehensible to an "out-of-provinc'er" like me.

Driving through the city of Kunming, I see a lot of buildings being torn down, in fact my shabby 3 star hotel overlooks the rubbles of a recently torn down building, bearing surprising resemblance to ground zero when I looked out of the Hyatt in New York back in the day when I was still a consultant.

By the time we arrive at the hotel, it was already dusk. I quickly stow away my belongings and go outside to explore the city. I pass by what must have been the street of shoes, among which I was desperately hoping to find some restaurants that would rescue my stomach from growling any louder. Luckily in the end I found one that served their local specialty - Yunnan rice thread - which looks very much like angel hair spaghettini but made of rice. For 5 Yuan (or a dollar), I order a steaming bowl of hot noodles, bathed in an appetizing red oil and chicken broth, with pickled vegetables and ground pork. I took my big bowl of noodles up to the second floor, found a brightly lit table overlooking the lobby, and slowly savored every spoonful of that delicious goodness.

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My first day on the tour bus was exhausting, but completely exhilarating.

Most of you probably have heard of the Shangri-La Hotels. Shangri-La is often described as a mystical, earthly paradise. It is in fact a real place in the mountains of Yunnan.

Yunnan is "a land of the wind, flower, snow, and moon". It's located at the southwest tip of China, close to Tibet. One time around sunset, when the sky was painted a fiery orange, a famous poet pointed at the beautiful mountainous landscape in the distance and said, "The land to the south of the brilliant clouds." That was how the province got its name. If you break down the word Yunnan, it literally means south of the clouds. ("Yun" means clouds and "nan" means south).

Within the province of Yunnan, Dali is the City of Buddha. Our tour guide took us to the biggest temple in the City of Buddha - the Three Pagoda Chong Sheng Temple. It used to be the royal temple of the Kingdom of Dali, housing 39 gods, blessed by 108 gurus, 9 emperors have abandoned worldly pleasures and the supreme power of ruling a nation and chosen to become monks at this temple.

It's gigantic, backed by green mountains, facing an expansive naturally formed lake, over 2000 meters in altitude. At this height, one can't help but feel at eye level with the clouds in the sky. It's like a temple built in heaven.

The magic number 9, being the highest level of enlightenment, is used extensively throughout the design of the place. For example, there are exactly 9 hills in the mountain they've chosen to build the structure, 9 temples, and the golden tiled roofs of the main hall are guarded by 9 lucky creatures to protect the building. I'm not a religious person, but I can't help but feel the holy powers that reside within this place. It reminded me of the feeling when I first stepped into the Notre Dame Basilica in Montreal. I had decided back then that if I ever get married, I'd like to get married there. No five star hotels, exotic beaches, carefully manicured backyards of exquisite mansions could match the holy powers I felt in that place. It's as if the vows made in that church take on a whole new level of meaning. The Gods are watching, you better keep your promise.

I have no urge to have a wedding here or anything, but like I said, I did feel the holy powers of the place, like the wishes made here would come true. As we were walking in, one of the monks said to us, "When you were born, you brought nothing with you to the world, and when you die, you can't take anything with you." When you think about it, it's so true and so liberating. All the material possessions we strive so hard to get can't be taken with us when we leave the world, so the best thing to do, is just enjoy this gift of time in between.

I burn 3 sticks of incense, kneel before Buddha, and make a prayer I'd come to make over and over again at every temple I visit in the subsequent months of this journey.

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