(Joshua's POV - Sun. 5 October 2013)

My eyes have come to prickle from reading so many figures and for so many hours nonstop. I only slept for an hour last night and exhaustion is slowly hitting me. I should maybe break off for a while and try to get some sleep while my eyes accept to close themselves. After all, it's already well past midnight.

I have a long drive home tomorrow evening and I can't afford to be tired before the upcoming intense week. So, I switch off my laptop that has been seated in my lap for the whole day, carefully stand up from the comfortable armchair, cautious not to get my feet caught in the cables, and grab my phone before I head toward the bathroom.

It had been ages since I last came here. Although I love this place and its quietness, I have rarely visited the little wooden chalet I bought soon after I moved to Chicago. I don't even know why I bought it to be honest. I guess I wanted some kind of retreat that next to no one knows about, not even my friends. Only Tony knows about its existence because he drove me there when I visited it for the first time.

I fell in love with its simple beauty. The chalet is located in the Manestee National Forest, Michigan, and is basically a four-hour drive from my home. It is completely isolated and only surrounded by trees and animals. It is rather small - at least compared to my house - but has all the necessary comfort for someone like me; three bedrooms, a large living room with an open kitchen and a nice fireplace. The electricity is provided by a generator outside but there is no landline phone or internet.

These loneliness and quietness were exactly what I needed this weekend.

When I came back home on Friday late evening after the events, my chalet was the destination which naturally popped in my mind and I didn't hesitate for another second before I packed a few clothes and took the keys of the SUV. I only stopped quickly by the kitchen to leave a note to Liz and let her know I would only be back on Sunday evening, so that she could enjoy her weekend. On my way there, I stopped in a gas station and bought junk food that I have barely touched since I arrived.

What happened with Liam on Friday evening really affected me and only work has been able to keep him away from brooding, which is why I have been working nonstop since this morning. The rare moments I took breaks, to either use the restroom or get a drink, the memories of the kiss kept flashing back in my mind.

I still don't understand what got into me. The only thing I see is that I lost my self-control and I hate myself for that because I might have lost any chance to get him. What's the point of being a Dominant if I can't hold a grip on my urges? Self-control is the essence of domination and it was the first time ever that it failed me. I got carried away by my emotions and just gave into what I wanted; and what I wanted was Liam. I wanted to taste him.

When I stopped at the gas station, I sent a quick text to Aaron just to let him know I would be out of town for the whole weekend and wouldn't be at the club on Saturday evening. After that, I ignored all his calls, as well as those from Cam and Mark, the texts and voice mails. I wasn't ready to tell them about the incident and to be honest, I am still worried about their judgment.

Aaron wouldn't ban me from the club for that, especially since it has nothing to do with the Diamond or a Sub from there, but I still personally think I would deserve a punishment. Dominants don't often get punished but it can happen on rare occasions. Ever since I joined Aaron's club, I heard about a few occurrences though - one that Camden will remember all his life I guess.

After I texted Aaron, I was tempted to send a message to Liam too, but I didn't. For all I know, the young man must be pissed at me and I wouldn't be too surprised if he doesn't show up on Monday morning. And if he does, he might as well just drop his resignation letter on my desk and run away.

Even if he stays and doesn't resign, how is this going to happen? How are things going to go between us? Will he ever be able to trust me again? Won't he be petrified each time I get near him? This is seriously going to affect our professional relationship, and that really sucks. How am I going to make up for this mess? I will definitely need to apologize.

So, no, a text was not the appropriate means for an apology. What we need is a conversation. A serious conversation but will he let me explain? Will he let me tell him how I am attracted to him? I hope so!

Just as I am about to turn off the bedside lamp, my iPhone goes off and I sigh in exasperation. Can't the guys understand I am not going to answer their calls for now? Haven't I ignored enough of them? My eyes automatically peek at the device on the table though, and my heart lurches in my chest when I read Liam's name on the screen.

It is now past one in the morning. Why would he call me at that time of night? My mind seems to immediately recover its usual efficiency though, and I pick up only after the second ring.

"Liam?" I ask quite sternly. He doesn't answer. "Hello? Liam?" I call but only get some shuffling noises in return. I think I decipher giggles and music in the background. "Liam? Is that you?" I ask again, and I finally get to hear his sweet voice.

"Hmm thanks for the drink," he says in a muffled voice. What the hell is he talking about? I push the volume up and there is definitely music in the background.

"You are most welcome," another man's voice says. This one is much deeper than his sweet voice. "What's your name again?"

The premises of an understanding seep through my mind. Liam seems to be in a bar or a discotheque, and some guy is obviously flirting with him.

"Liam... yeah... Liam... and you?" the angel stutters in answer.

Doesn't he sound drunk? I really don't like what I am hearing and I should probably hang up right there and then, but the suave tone of the other voice refrains me from doing that.

"David. But you can call me Dave."

"Well hey Dave, thanks for the drink and it's nice to meet you!"

Okay, so I am now quite sure Liam is drunk, or close to, and my dominant instincts resurface right away. Haven't his parents ever taught him anything? Doesn't he know you don't accept drinks from just anyone in a pub or anywhere else? For fuck's sake, there might be some drugs in it!

"My pleasure, beautiful!" the other voice purrs. I don't know the guy but I already hate him. "Beautiful Liam... you are extremely cute, Liam... you know that?"

On reflection, I don't hate him. I detest him and even worse. I feel my blood beginning to boil in my veins.

"Hmm... if you say so..."

Oh fuck! What I hear next almost has me heaving and I am suddenly grateful I didn't eat today. There is no way I could mistake the wet and sucking noises, and I can easily imagine the other man's tongue mingling with Liam's. There is more shuffling and I wonder where the bastard is running his hands. I should really hang up. How much more can I take?

"Hmm... nice piece you seem to have down there... Do you think I could make it grow...?"

That and the moans that follow are the last straw. I hang up and throw my phone on the bed with rage before I get up and start pacing in the bedroom.

I think the whole dictionary of swearwords pass through my mind. I wish I could go ans smash the fucker's face, but I am more than four hours away from Chicago and I can't do anything! The wooden wall of the bedroom is the poor victim of my anger as my fist hits it. Let's be more precise: the wall isn't a victim, my fist and shoulder are the victims.

Splinters of wood scratch my knuckles, but the worst is the pain I feel in my shoulder from the strength I used to punch the wall; the fucking wall and its resistance! The good thing is that this snaps me out of my rage and my brain resumes its faculties to process things. Barely thirty seconds have passed since I hung up and I already have a guess at where Liam might be.

While I grab my phone and look in my favorite contacts, I silently pray for Aaron to still be at The Lost Paradise and that he will pick up his phone. I know I can count on him since he rarely leaves his phone alone and indeed, he picks up only after the first tone, but I don't even give him time to say anything.

"Aaron, I need your help! Please tell me you're still at the Paradise!" I beg him.

"Errr... Yes I am, but I'm about to leave now... Are you coming in the end?" he asks warily. I exhale a sigh of relief.

"No, I can't, but I need your help and it's urgent... are you in the VIP area?"

"No, I'm in the security office... What's going on Josh? You sound... panicked?" he says worryingly as I hear a door slam.

"I'm not panicked but I don't have time to explain right now and I need you to go to the VIP area. Please!"

"I am there now. So what...?"

"You do have a view over the whole room from there, right?" Considering that the music wasn't that loud, I believe Liam isn't on the dancefloor, but rather in the lounge area; and rather far I guess.

"Hmm almost... What am I supposed to search?" he asks. "Oh, I think that's Liam's friend right in front of me... can't be sure but..."

At least, he is not the bastard making out with Liam, though I had already guessed this much since the other asked for his name and introduced himself as David.

"Please look for Liam. He must be at the lounge..."

"How do you know that?" Aaron asks dubiously, as more doors slam in the background and the music gets louder.

"Aaron, it's a long story, and I don't have time! I think some guy offered him a drink, and Liam already didn't sound in his right state of mind," I explain briefly, hearing him breathe as if he was running.

"Could he be so stupid as to accept a drink from anyone? I thought he was clever?" he growls in the phone.

"I thought he was too... Please hurry up Aaron, I hope the drink is not spiked."

"Almost there... By the way, isn't he underage for alcohol??" he shouts, trying to cover the loud music.

"Yes. He's only twenty and barely looking eighteen. Blame your bartenders," I smirk back at him.

"Just shut up! Okay, I think I found him... There's a blond head lying under one of those jocks, and they're... Shit! I'll call you back!" he shouts and hangs up.

They're what?? He fucking hung up on me!!

What the fuck? He can't do that! Not after what he just said!

I try to dial his number again but only get his voicemail. Another attempt... same result. I just can't express my frustration right now. I could just blow the walls of my room.

I take a deep, deep breath to calm down. I already lost my self-control once this week - well, twice if you include the wall... - and this is more than enough. I trust Aaron will solve the situation there whatever it is. I have to trust him, not only because he is one my best friends and a very efficient Dominant, but also because I have no other choice.

I feel a migraine showing up, probably because of the lack of sleep and food, but my aching shoulder doesn't help either. I unsuccessfully try Aaron's number again then decide to make myself useful and clean my bleeding hand. The minutes go by endlessly until Aaron finally calls me back an hour later.

"Is he okay?" I ask right away.

"For now he is, but I can't promise he won't have a terrible hangover tomorrow," he says.

"Good for him, I hope it'll teach him a lesson. What happened? Why didn't you answer my calls?"

"I didn't answer because I was too busy removing some hands from your boy's pants if you really want to know, but I'm not sure you want the details, do you?"

"I do want the details. Tell me."

"Alright, let's make it brief..." he sighs. "He was lying underneath another guy and they were in a rather advanced make-out session. Nothing was out if you absolutely need to know, but the other guy's hand was slipped inside Liam's pants when I arrived. I got a security guy with me and we dragged the both of them to the control office. I charged them with their faults and threw them out of the club after a good lecture."

"What?? You threw him out?" I exclaim.

"Don't worry Josh, I did it professionally... "

"Which means?" I interrupt him.

"The other guy gave a drink with alcohol to an underage which is forbidden by the law; that was his first fault. We tested the drink by the way and there was no drug. Then he encouraged this person to make out publicly, which is strictly forbidden in this club."

"You're kidding Aaron? It was only a making out you said!" I chuckle.

"I'm glad you're saying this. When you see Liam on Monday morning, I hope you will remember it was only just making-out..." he smirks at me. I hate him for being so right about what he just said! "Anyway, this is not the Black Diamond and sex is not allowed in public in this club; and especially not in the lounge area. So, they got both lectured for that. Then I sent the other guy away and kept Liam for a few more minutes. The security guy lectured him on accepting drinks from strangers and finally, I called a taxi and sent him back home."

"He went on his own?"

"Yes, in a taxi. By the way, you owe me 40 bucks for the ride," he jokes. "See? I can be a gentleman. Have I treated your little Private nicely enough for your taste?"

"Yes Captain Miller, great job!" I say playfully. "Thanks Aaron... Did he say anything?"

"For his defense? No, he didn't. I don't think he was really in a state to say much anyway. He only apologized through and through and begged for us not to call the police because he might lose his job if he got in trouble. My guess is that he'll already be in enough trouble with his boss..." he quips. "I just hope he will remember this tomorrow so that it teaches him a good lesson. Once the other guy left, he broke down a bit. I think he still realized what he'd done wrong and he also asked us to look for his friend to let him know he was leaving, but we couldn't find him. So I took him out and pushed him in the taxi."

"Thanks again Aaron... I owe you a lot on that one!" I sincerely say.

"What you owe me first are some explanations. Where are you by the way?" he then asks more seriously, taking his Master Dom voice. Yeah, I should have expected that.

"What time will you be at the club tomorrow?"

"Around 11:00 am, I guess. I had some things to sort out here, so I need to catch up at the Black Moon."

"Okay, I'll see you early in the afternoon then and I'll tell you. Alright?"

"Josh, are you okay?"

"Yeah, don't worry. I'll see you tomorrow."

We quickly say our goodbyes and hang up. With my phone still in my hand, I let myself fall back on the bed. I am tempted to call this idiot of Liam. My own guilt for last Friday's events slowly fades away, soon replaced by anger. I am so disappointed by his behavior. It's not so much the fact he flirted with someone, or maybe let someone flirt with him because he is not mine - yet.

Our kiss was only a kiss and there are no strings attached to our relationship. I know how it works in nightclubs, people go there to enjoy themselves and find their soulmates, or at least someone to hook up with. I have been there before when I was his age. I too tried to get alcohol drinks when I wasn't supposed to. But I can't help seeing it from my current point of view and this is totally irresponsible.

At least nothing serious happened, thanks to Aaron. He saved my Private Liam.

I chuckle at the allusion he made to one of our favorite movies of all times, Saving Private Ryan. I completely fell in love with Tom Hanks when I first saw Philadelphia, not only because it was set in a city close to where I spent most of my youth, but obviously because it dealt with subjects that are dear to my heart.

HIV is not something Aaron jokes about - for private reasons that are not mine to tell - and this is one of the many things I truly appreciate in his club: although it might sound like we drown in decadence and libertinage, this place is one of the safest locations where sex is practiced without any boundary other than the limits each Dominants and Submissives impose to themselves, but in the safest way as possible.

Anyway, back to my young soldier Liam, I am relieved he is now safe, even if I strongly feel like punishing him for his irresponsible behavior.

I don't even feel guilty for interrupting his fun. In my head, he is already mine and I would do anything to prevent anyone from stealing my boy. It may sound selfish but this is what I honestly feel. It only strengthens my decision to speed up the slow progression of our relationship and officially make him mine.

As I slowly drift to sleep, I think back to what Aaron told me earlier about remembering it was only making out. The simple thought of someone else's hands on his body makes me nauseous and angers me even more against him.

How am I going to react when I see him on Monday? How will I be able to get our relationship to move forward when he flirted with another guy? As my eyes shut before darkness swallows me up, there is only one thing I am sure of: I will need to recover my full self-control and calm down before I talk to him on Monday. Then I'll have to take things further.

Published on 11 Sept 2016

Joshua is such a stalker... A lucky one at that!

Anyway, I bet Monday morning will be tense. Finally Joshua will take things a bit further and give out on himself to the innocent bunny.

Anyone piqued up on the hints Joshua gave out about Camden and Aaron by the way? :D