NICKY HAD REFUSED TO SEE HARRY OSBORN FOR OVER A MONTH. It had eaten at him, of course, how could it not have? After what seems like a moment, the boy blinks back to existence only to discover five years have passed, his father died, and was immediately bombarded with the civil suit of the century to determine his rights of inheriting a company he wasn't prepared to take over from the current CEO he didn't even know.

But that was nothing compared to what happened next.

Nicky could still hear the young man sobbing in the living room as Sam stepped in to play the role Nicky chose to pursue because of that young man himself, listening as Harry oscillated between screaming for himself and his loss, and begging to see Nicky just to know he was okay, or at the very least alive.

Why would he go out to let the boy know that he was neither?

By the time he had finally gone out to see the boy, the chaos and panic of the Blip had dulled to the point of light acceptance, though people still wondered how long it would be until everything would finally be as it was before people had even gone from existence, let alone come back, and many were uprooted in ways that the general public tried not to pay too much attention to; when your own world is on fire, it's hard to pay attention to the fire next door.

He had gone to Baxter Building where Harry was staying with the complete Fantastic Four; Nicky vaguely remembered the few times that he had met up with the half of the four that had survived, though it's hard to remember much since getting blackout drunk with Sue Storm and Ben Grimm had been to drown both memories and sorrows alike.

He somehow managed to dodge seeing either Reed or Johnny—a small mercy he figured was Sue's doing—and was led straight to a conference room where Harry was holed up, fielding video call after video call for the various legal matters he had been swamped with, his put together appearance far too mature for his age and fraying at the edges.

Nicky didn't even register the attorney who left the room after assuring Harry they were done for the day—while also reminding him they would be resuming tomorrow—as the ex-psychologist was too busy contemplating how to break open the bulletproof glass windows and jump out, wanting nothing more than to go back to his room and hide.

But he'd promised himself and Sam—Sam, who was waiting for him just outside and would never hold it against him if he had to leave early, but whose concern would be far more difficult to face—and he owed it to Harry. 

He owed Harry far more than he could ever give.

Looking back, neither he nor Harry could remember exactly what happened, only that by the end they were both sobbing—a regular occurrence for pretty much every person on the planet at the time—and realizing for possibly the first time just what it meant that everything had actually happened.

That the past five years had actually passed and the people left behind arguably had it so much worse than those who had been taken. That everyone lost had come back and could be affected by actions taken by others, even if they understood the reasons behind them.

It was then that Harry swore to himself he would go back to therapy—the therapist he had been seeing the past few years had also dusted, so he'd need to find someone new—and look for professional help rather than only rely on those who were just as lost as he was; especially since the man he relied on the most had died and had yet to return.

And it was then that Nicky—dead to the world for so long—remembered why that had happened. Remembered the feeling of responsibility to be there and strong for others around him, to be the support he wished he had when it mattered most. So overcome with the loss of near everyone he loved, he hadn't even realized that he'd lost the self-imposed responsibility along with them.

Unbeknownst to the other, the two both swore to try and take control of their actions, if only to prevent adding more to others who loved them enough to always support them, even if they couldn't handle it; hopefully, they wouldn't have to reach that point.

Now, some length of time later that Nicky would rather not consider, they're not quite sure if they've succeeded in any way, but they're trying, and that's better than nothing at all.

Of course, that didn't mean that things were easy; if they were, then Nicky wouldn't have agreed to go find some help for himself, but his next session wasn't for another two days, so he wouldn't think about that until then.

Instead, he made his way to Baxter Building and crossed all his fingers in the elevator that he wouldn't have to see Johnny Storm.

But, of course, to expect not to see Johnny Storm in his own home was a futile hope, so when the doors slid open to the personal floors, Nicky was immediately met with the blond who was on the phone, a bowl of Cheeto Puffs in one arm and bags of chips in the other.

"Nicky!" Johnny called, bright smile gracing his face, blissfully unaware of the memory his innocuous greeting dredged to the surface.

○ ○ ○

Shuri just disappeared and Nicky didn't know what to do.

He wasn't even truly thinking, brain and ears ringing as he tried to process whether the screaming he was hearing was real or in his head; he would later learn that it was both, though he was doing all the screaming.

As he dropped the blowtorch he had grabbed as a makeshift weapon—a weapon he no longer needed considering their assailants had disappeared a few short moments before Shuri had—he felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

He barely registered Johnny's caller ID as he pressed the phone up to his ear, rushing towards the windows he promised to stay away from, trying to catch a glimpse of anything to explain what had happened.

"Nicky!" 

Johnny's frantic voice could barely be heard over the chaos in the background and within Nicky's own mind, but they both tried to their best.

"Nicky!"

It was only then that Nicky registered Johnny had been screaming his name for some time and that he actually needed to use his voice to respond.

"I'm here, what's going on, are you safe, where are you, who's with you—?" the questions came rushing out faster than his mouth could move, trying to catch up to his racing mind.

"I don't know!" Johnny cried, the sounds of panic on his side of the world only increasing, "That Charlotte lady came to find us and everything was fine now people are fucking disintegrating or something, I don't know—"

Nicky's stomach lurched as he heard the phone clatter to the ground, Johnny cursing amidst car horns and shrieks. Later he would be grateful for the phone call, if only for preventing him from considering the worst from where he stood, alone in the lab.

It also kept him from fully realizing what, deep down, he already knew:

They hadn't won.

Johnny returned moments after his phone fell, somehow sounding even less assured, "What's going on, what do we do?"

Nicky's response caught in his throat; even then, he hadn't known what he was planning to say.

"Charlotte's helping the car crash, I can't get to her."

The muffled voice of a fearful Harry Osborn broke whatever shock-induced resolve Nicky had been living on, a cold sweat bringing him mercilessly into reality.

"Nicky we don't know what's happening, I'm scared," Johnny said, voice cracking, and Nicky didn't know what to say.

He could see the two boys now, holding hands as they weaved through the crowds of people just as confused as they were, looking for guidance and comfort from someone equally lost.

"Get back to Baxter Building and regroup with your sister and the others," Nicky said, his plan sounding obvious and unhelpful even before he spoke, "I'll meet you all there as soon as I can and we'll figure out what to do. Do you know where the rest of the Four are?"

He would never get his answer, and Johnny wouldn't even remember the question being asked, because it was then that things went from bad to worse, as the hand in Johnny's grip pulled him back.

"Harry?"

Years later Nicky still wouldn't be able to remember what exactly happened in those moments, only that the world stood still until he heard the news he had already realized. When Johnny finally got back to his phone and, amidst his tears and attempts to explain what he had just witnessed, he choked out the words Nicky would later hear many times over.

"—now he's gone!"

Nicky could see the scene that had unfolded as he listened helplessly on the other end of the phone.

Listened as Johnny turned around to find Harry struggling to hang onto him as he fell to the ground, his left leg already gone by the time Johnny noticed something was wrong. By the time he realized what was happening, Harry's hand had already slipped out of his grasp and the rest of him was starting to fade away.

It was a wonder Nicky managed to catch what happened next.

"I-I gotta find Ben, Sue and Reed are at—" Johnny's anxious babble was cut off as he was tripped, managing to grab his phone before it skidded out of reach on the busy sidewalk.

Nicky hadn't moved from where he crouched on the ground, phone gripped in a white-knuckled fist, as if becoming a statue would be the key to ending the nightmare.

"Nicky, what's happening?" Johnny asked, the tremor in his voice new and confirmation of what Nicky had suspected.

"Nicky, are you still there?" the boy begged, and the older man could vividly imagine the way the boy's body was disintegrating, chasing up towards his face and hands that gripped the phone, "Nicky, I'm scared! Nick—"

By the time Nicky found his voice, by the time his words were freed, Johnny's phone had long since been smashed by those trying to make sense of the unfathomable come to fruition. 

He had been found by a few of the remaining Wakandans in the building and helped to his feet, his phone falling from his limp hand onto where Shuri last stood. He had been escorted to where the surviving few were rendezvousing.

It was when they were tending to their wounds, his eyes still glazed and gaze thousands of light years away, that he finally got the words out. Far too little and far too late.

"...'m sorry."

○ ○ ○

The memory took all of a few seconds, but it took all of Nicky's power not to collapse.

With a strength he refused to acknowledge—Steve always told him he was strong, even during his worst episodes, and he only just now started to understand what he meant—he stepped out of the elevator and managed to pry his mouth into what he hoped was an acceptable grimace.

Johnny, to his credit, didn't even falter, smile only growing wider at his own greeting being returned, and he shifted to hold his phone between his ear and shoulder, freeing up an arm to hold out for a hug.

Nicky couldn't begrudge the boy his coping mechanism—an easy way to prove he was real, others were real, and show his love in the event he's lost to everyone again—so he raised an arm of his own to reciprocate the hug, wondering if Johnny thought about the phone call as much as Nicky did.

"Tell him I say hi," came from Johnny's phone as Nicky pulled away, and he froze, blood turning cold as it often did when he heard familiar voices he hadn't been expecting.

"It's Diana," Johnny said, mistaking his reaction for confusion or something equally forgivable, holding the phone out towards him.

"He doesn't have to say hi, it's okay," Diana said, in the exact voice she used when Nicky had invited her to the apartment before he was ready to see her in the hopes of forcing himself to adjust, talking with Sam in the living room without any expectations or pressure, "Just tell him I say hi."

Nicky, who was poised like a deer in headlights, ready to run and staring at the phone in abject horror, mentally tackled himself to the ground and forced himself to take deep breaths until he calmed and remembered that everyone here knew who he was, what he had been through, and what he was trying to achieve. 

He was safe and loved, regardless of what he thought about it.

Johnny started to pull the phone back, realizing that his actions may have put Nicky in an uncomfortable situation, but the older man snatched it out of his hand before he could get too far.

"Shit, sorry," Nicky winced, but Johnny waved him off before he could start apologizing.

"It's all good. Harry and I are in my room, so just meet us there when you're done," he said, readjusting the bowls and chips in his arms before heading down the hall.

Nicky nodded, raising the phone up to his ear as he watched Johnny make his way to and disappear through the door, throwing one last smile to the older man before he did. 

All the while, Diana waited patiently on the other end, probably with that tired look in her eyes that he had seen when he had gotten himself to leave his room and join her and Sam in the living room when she had visited last.

It had taken every ounce of his being, but the spark of joy in both Diana and Sam's eyes when they saw him enter had been enough to propel him through the rest of the overall enjoyable encounter.

He saw Diana less than he saw Harry, whom he didn't see as often as he knew he should, so he wasn't sure what to say when he finally cleared his throat and opened his mouth to speak.

"You're visiting Harry today?" Diana prompted, and Nicky appreciated a topic that didn't involve him talking about how he was doing or what he had been up to, like most conversation starters.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, I just...yeah, I'm visiting Harry," Nicky said lamely, desperately searching for anything to say, "How's school going?"

Fortunately for him, Diana didn't comment on his lacking communication skills. 

"It's been fine, but it sucks that we have to take classes over break while everyone who wasn't Blipped gets to relax until the end of the month," she explained, huffing, "It's not our fault we were brought back to life in the middle of the semester."

Nicky choked, unsure whether to laugh or cry, but Diana beat him to the punch, her humorless laugh floating through the phone.

"I saw online that making jokes about trauma means that you're healing from it, and there are so many memes about the Blip that it's easier to laugh about it. I don't know if I'm actually healing, but I'm too tired to cry," she said, exhaustion seeping into her tone and breaking her otherwise placid and composed facade; a facade that Nicky saw, but didn't have enough in him to see through.

"I get that," Nicky said, because he did; he'd seen it in his patients and, before everything, he had seen it in himself.

Hopefully, one day, he'd see it in himself again.

"Thanks for taking the time to talk to me," Diana said, after they fell into a neutral silence; not awkward, but not entirely comfortable either, "I know it's hard, especially if you don't plan on talking to that person. Trust me, I get it."

"I know you do," Nicky said, voice hoarse, "Thanks for being patient. I...I'll reach out soon. I promise."

"You don't need to promise, I know you're doing what you can," she soothed, and Nicky had to wonder when he became the one who needed to be comforted and cared for.

"Since I got taller than you," she joked, because apparently he had said that out loud, "But seriously, Nicky, don't think about it like that."

"I know, I know," he sighed, because he did know, but that didn't make it any easier to believe, "But...you know..."

"Of course I do, that's how we met," she said, and Nicky couldn't help but smile because he could hear her smile, and he never imagined he'd get another chance.

So what if his smile was unpracticed and off, it wasn't forced and his lips actually moved; as far as anyone who matters was concerned, that was a win.

"Talk to you later, Nicky," Diana promised.

"See you soon," Nicky hoped.

Hanging up the phone, he took a few deep breaths before making his way down the hall. He kept his gaze on the floor, not wanting to look at the other doors and let his mind wander towards whatever was behind them; or, rather, what had been behind them half a decade ago.

He didn't know how long he stood in front of Johnny's bedroom door, but it was long enough to be grateful for the fact he wouldn't have to see Harry's. He'd seen the Osborn residence less than a handful of times—and he couldn't remember what Harry's bedroom in particular had looked like—but the thought of seeing Harry's permanent guest room made his stomach turn.

It made him think about when Harry gave him his most important things to hold onto when he had to check into rehab, as he didn't trust his father to not go through his room. He wondered whether those things were still with him now, years later, his father now gone for good.

Finally, after what felt like hours but was in reality less than five minutes, he knocked on the door.

"Come in," Johnny called, the muffled sounds of the TV lowering to an even duller roar.

Nicky opened the door and peered in, feeling like an intruder despite the invitation, catching sight of Harry and Johnny sitting on the bench at the end of the bed, sprawled out and leaned against the mattress with the chips sitting between them.

"Nicky!" Harry greeted, sitting up even more than when Nicky first knocked, already halfway to standing, "Johnny mentioned you were here."

"Yeah, I just said hi to Diana for a second," Nicky explained, handing the phone back to Johnny, "Sorry for interrupting."

He motioned towards the TV where the pair were watching a movie that had come out in the last five years; Steve had mentioned it to him, suggesting they watch it to show support since they had to replace half the cast and crew, but, unsurprisingly, they never would up seeing it.

"You weren't, we were just watching the trailers," Johnny said, moving the chips onto the mattress to make more room on the bench.

Nicky fought the urge to apologize and insist he sit on the floor, as he knew that'd be more effort than it was worth just to wind up sitting on the bench anyways, and instead held an arm out towards Harry who was glancing at him every few seconds.

Even knowing what was going to happen and having enough time to brace himself—his lack of physical strength and energy aside—Nicky still toppled right over when Harry shoved off the bench and threw himself at the older man.

It was only thanks to Harry octopus-hold and unfair height advantage that they managed not to hit the ground, though they did stumble enough that Nicky's back hit the wall dead-on, though he did manage to save the back of his head from meeting the same fate.

"Sorry," Harry mumbled, face buried in the crook of Nicky's neck, sounding as far from apologetic as any person could.

"You're okay," Nicky mumbled, moving so he was hugging the boy properly, rubbing soothing circles in his back, catching Johnny silently laughing over his shoulder.

"I think so," Harry said, knowing fully well that wasn't what Nicky meant, but what he needed to hear.

After a few more moments, just as the hug came to an end and they pulled away, Nicky replied: "Same here."

Rather than looking at Harry's reaction, Nicky turned his attention to Johnny who was holding out the bowl of Cheeto Puffs. Nicky took the bowl from him, sitting on the opposite end of the bench so Harry could sit between them.

"You cool with this movie? It seems good," Johnny asked, motioning towards the TV with the remote.

"We don't have to," Harry rushed to add, knowing more about Nicky's reservations than Johnny did, "It came out recently, so if you're not comfortable..."

Nicky had to think for a moment, but not for as long as he would have had to even just a few days prior. Maybe even just one day prior. Either way, it was a much shorter pause than expected, and that meant something.

"I'll be okay," Nicky assured him, tossing a Cheeto Puff into his mouth.

"You sure?" Johnny broached, though he was already pressing play, Harry settling into place between them, grinning at Nicky.

Nicky shrugged and gave a small, unpracticed smile in return. "I'm here, aren't I?"

AUTHOR'S NOTE

( 07.25.22 )

Gotta love the ending lines with the dual meanings, but anyways, hello, yes, it's been a while I don't know where the time went, this isn't new, I'm glad to be back and I hope to stay for a while to get more updates out, fingers crossed.

Anywho, sorry that Sam wasn't in this, or honestly anyone else, I planned on having more scenes but this kind of ran away from me with the long "in the past scene" to start with, then the main scene with the inserted flashback to Infinity War scene, so while I planned on him physically visiting Diana, that felt like a lot for a chapter already at 2k before they started their phone conversation, and realistically Nicky wouldn't be able to handle that much in one day, especially with the amount of guilt he feels in relation to these kids, so yeah...

Also, in terms of timeline, if we're following Far From Home's opening scene, the earliest everyone returned would have to be November 2023 due to the basketball practice scene (as NY high school basketball season starts in November). I've decided to just go with that, place SamBucky at April 2024, and this chapter takes place mid-January 2024.

Anyways, the "plot" (there's not really much of one but you know) is going to start next chapter which means we're on our way to getting to Part 2 which is when the actual events of the show are gonna take place which I am so excited for, I have plans. Hopefully we can get to them!

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!