NICKY NEVER FELT ANYTHING WHENEVER HE SAW RHETT. At least, that's how he would describe it. It was different than when Terran had come back—the first time he had come back; back when they lived in the loft and Nicky was still healing and Sam was still five years older—because he had gone into shock, then felt soon after. 

When Rhett returned, Nicky felt so much that, after, he could feel nothing at all. It was as if his whole system had overloaded and, in a last-ditch effort to remain whole, it refused to react; a forced apathy that betrayed the true nature of his feelings, and while he could describe the thoughts in his brain, the rest of his body failed to convey the amount of turmoil he should have felt.

Regardless, Rhett understood; somehow, he always did.

The doorbell rang for a second time and Nicky groaned as he shuffled down the hall and towards the front door, rubbing his eyes. "Coming!" 

He took a moment, just before unlocking the one deadbolt, to rub his eyes and try and remember the proper etiquette and disposition typically expected of people who received unannounced visitors in the late morning; then he remembered he didn't have enough energy or reason to care; three months in and all those who had been gone knew this Nicky Green was nothing like the original.

So, before he could get lost in that train of lost, he unlocked the singular deadbolt and opened the door, revealing the youthful and smiling face of Rhett Reiser, the concealer under his eyes masking the dark circles that only the similarly afflicted could parse; Nicky knew his were far worse, but he elected not to point out Rhett's, figuring he tried to hide them for a reason.

The fact he could focus on something so simple would have made his heart soar, could his body have felt anything in that moment.

"Hey, kiddo," Rhett whispered, because old habits die hard and no matter what, Nicky was always going to be younger, even when biology now said different.

Nicky didn't realize he had stepped forward into the man's arms until he took a deep breath, overwhelmed with the smell that was so purely Rhett, and only registered his eyes had closed when he stepped back and had to force them back open to look into the blue eyes he had spent years trying to shade match, the various hexcodes still burned into his memory, even when he had forgotten what his eyes had looked like to begin with.

"Hey," he whispered, throat hoarse, because that was all he could ever manage to say whenever Rhett first dropped by.

Rhett smiled and ducked his head, and Nicky's mind registered an intense need to burst into tears, but his body felt nothing except a numb pulse in his heart, so he instead just stepped forward once again and wrapped his arms around the blond, tugging him along as he moved backwards.

Rhett chuckled softly as he buried his face in Nicky's hair, and the shorter man trembled as he thought of all the times Rhett would laugh as a placeholder for a response he didn't know how to form. 

Then, because his mind was cruel and the silence was loud, Nicky remembered the last time Rhett had done just that, back before it all went wrong.

○ ○ ○

"I'm sure you tried your best."

Nicky snorted, the sharp look from Natasha doing nothing to stave off his muffled giggles, even as Okoye checked her kimoyo beads to announce an unknown entity entering the atmosphere.

Everything's funnier when it's the end of the world.

Of course, that was until it actually started.

As the U.F.O.'s—Unidentified Falling Objects—began crashing against and outside the dome, any and all sounds and thoughts were brought to a standstill, the rising bubbles of hysterical laughter unable to be released, filling him with a pent-up energy he didn't know what to do with.

"We will hold them off," T'Challa declared, startling Nicky back to reality where everyone was starting to move.

He rushed to stand across from Shuri who was still by Vision's side. He stared at the young girl, immediately thinking of how easily she could fit in with Harry and Diana's friends, then felt a wave of nausea as he realized the latter was down at the landing area with Sam.

That broke him out of his thoughts quickly enough.

"I know you and your tech is way more advanced than me and mine, but I can help however I can," he said, the teenager nodding at him with a small smile.

"I have seen your designs. They're cute," she said, and Nicky beamed; he had a feeling this was as close as he would get to a Nobel Peace Prize.

"Nicky," Steve called, walking to the door, "You said you made more stuff?"

Nicky turned to Shuri. "I know I didn't give you a lot of time, but—"

She waved a hand towards one of the guards, already moving to set up her systems to reprogram Vision's synapses. "They were finished before you even landed. I had them brought down from my lab, they will show you the way."

She looked away from her screen to look at him. "When this is over, I would like to discuss some ideas with you. Now go."

º º º

While everyone else was outfitted with Wakandan weapons and protection, Nicky stood off to the side with Sam and Diana.

"I don't like the idea of you coming with us," Steve said for the fifteenth time in the past five minutes, Diana scoffing, arms crossed as she looked up at the blond, Nicky checking all his upgrades to her new wings as she wore them, her old wings leaning against a crate.

"I'm already here, I might as well help," she said, though she didn't sound as sure as she had wanted to be, "Besides, Peter's with Tony, so it's only fair that I get to help out too."

"I disagree," he said, though he made no move to stop Nicky when he lifted Diana's arm, "I thought we agreed you'd make her a helmet."

"I did, calm down," Nicky said, planting himself between the two, "Go worry about Rhett, he doesn't want to wear a helmet."

Steve made a displeased noise and stalked towards his boyfriend who was trying to chat with Bucky, leaving Nicky to continue. He pulled off Diana's bangles and handed her a new set, though they were a steel blue, the original rose gold now thin, parallel accented stripes.

She furrowed her brow and looked up at him, and he couldn't help but think back to when he first gave her the bangles and wings two years prior, wondering whether he was right to regret helping her as much as he had.

If only he knew.

"I can't take back that tracker I let you put in Peter," he said, and she looked at her feet, the two taking a moment to thoroughly question and regret their decisions, "But I can at least give you a better color scheme this time around. It's the same with the wings and your new helmet."

He handed her a box with a new set of earrings. Instead of dangling teardrops, they were small, rose-gold hinge hoops reminiscent of engagement rings, aquamarines inlaid instead of diamonds; not real aquamarines, not that anyone cared at the moment.

"Do I get mine own Redwing?" she asked, looking between the two men.

"You better not," Sam grumbled, giving Nicky a pointed look, the smaller man just grinning.

"Nah. I didn't design Redwing anyways, that was Tony. But you've got a wrist computer like Sam's now and a lot more projectiles than I really should give you. The gauntlets work the same way, but I gave you more options and higher range, which you can control with the wrist computer, which is also mirrored in your helmet's features."

He pressed the inside of her bangles and activated her earrings, watching as the helmet and gauntlets wrapped around head and hands, the wrist computer attaching itself on her forearm. "It's honestly the exact same as before, but now your entire face is enclosed in vibranium. This is all vibranium, actually, so thank Princess Shuri for that."

Diana retracted the helmet to smile at him, not even having to look up anymore, now eye-level with him—he didn't know when those growth spurts had happened, but there was no turning back now—then she jogged over to Steve and the others who were helping Bruce suit up.

Nicky pretended that he hadn't noticed the way Diana's hands shook, nor the way his own were starting to do the same.

"Hey, princess," Sam greeted, breaking Nicky out of his thoughts, "What'd you change about mine?"

Nicky moved to stand behind Sam, going over the additions that he had secured before turning his attention back to Diana, checking to make sure everything was secure.

"I couldn't find a way to work around Redwing, but I was able to add more guns and reinforced slats for a thicker defense," he explained, moving to show the new features he had programmed into his wrist computer when they were still on their way to Wakanda.

"As long as I can shoot, I'll be good," Sam said, giving the younger man a gap-toothed smile that was clearly strained, "You stay away from the windows when you're up there, okay? And don't look out either."

"I'll be fine, Sam," Nicky said, reaching into his back pocket, "I'm not the one going to fight aliens. I won't be anywhere near as scared as you."

Pulling his hand out, he presented a near identical pair of goggles to the ones already resting on Sam's head. "They don't do anything, but I made them more rose-tinted than the ones you have now. I figured it'd be fun, you know, 'cause of the saying, and 'cause they make everything look pink. I figured it'd make things a lot less..."

He trailed off, brow furrowed as he tried to search for the right word, and Sam just chuckled, taking off his goggles and swapping them with the new pair, settling them over his eyes. Nicky smiled at him, though he knew it wasn't his usual smile, the lump in his throat and hammering heart tugging at the muscles all wrong.

Sam's gaze darted up behind Nicky's shoulder and the younger man didn't have to guess to know who it was; there was always a pull when it came to Rhett, one that Nicky was more attuned to than anything else.

Sam gave him a smile and then walked over to Steve who was looking between Rhodey in his War Machine suit and Diana with her helmet activated. Nicky felt his lips pull into a facsimile of a smile at the scene, then turned to face his roommate.

"Hey, kiddo," Rhett greeted, arms already wrapped around Nicky before the man had even fully stepped into his space, "How're you feeling?"

Nicky shrugged, tilting back to give Rhett a wry smile in an attempt to ignore the way his stomach lurched at the question. "Oh, you know...the usual. Kind of a mix of 'first time mom at Disneyland' and 'little kid lost in the Best Buy.' Nothing special."

Rhett chuckled, ruffling the brunet's hair. "Well, you won't be alone up there so just try to stay calm, yeah? You know what they say about when parents get stressed, their kids can feel it. We don't want your tech going haywire 'cause you second guess it."

"My tech is fine. It's the people I worry about," Nicky grumbled, not wanting to be overheard, "Make sure Steve doesn't get distracted watching out for Diana, okay?"

Rhett snorted, running hand through his own hair, his gloves catching Nicky's attention, which then brought it to the rest of his gear; the Wakandans weren't stingy when it came to helping and outfitting their allies.

"I'll try my best," Rhett promised, because they both knew Steve was as stubborn as an ox, but also that Rhett was as relentless as his boyfriend when it came to keeping him alive, "Stay away from the windows until we get back, yeah?"

"What is with you people and windows?" Nicky scoffed, desperate to pretend that he didn't know the implications of the warning; he had never been this close to any kind of battle, not even The Incident, and the last thing he wanted was to hear that there was even a slight chance that he wouldn't be safe.

He didn't like what the warning implied about the safety of everyone else.

"Let's hope you won't need to use that," Nicky said, motioning to the ammunition and gun slung across Rhett's body, "Can't they just give you a baseball bat or something? You could hit bombs far out to take out their ships and anyone on their way. Wait, hold on—"

Rhett laughed and pulled Nicky flush against him, holding him tight, and Nicky's hands searched for purchase against the foreign gear and tech, rising on his tiptoes to bury his face in the crook of his neck, taking a deep breath.

He could feel Rhett's question and he explained, "These clothes don't smell like you. I just wanna make sure I remember right."

Rhett didn't respond, just hugged him tighter, and Nicky wasn't sure whether he would have rather the blond have brushed off the statement as a joke, laughing it off to reassure Nicky that this wasn't as important as it actually was.

"Hurry back," Nicky urged, rising even higher on his toes, Rhett's footing the only reason why they didn't both topple over, "We forgot to put the milk in the fridge, I don't wanna deal with the spoiled milk smell in the entire loft."

Rhett chuckled then, though it was far more tense than either of them would have liked, and Nicky felt the blond try to release the tension in his shoulders before he squeezed Nicky tighter, enough to hurt, though Nicky would never ask him to let go.

"I'll see you soon," Nicky said with as much conviction as he could muster.

Rhett laughed into his hair, the laugh that was as much of a response as it wasn't, and Nicky let himself pretend that it was a definite promise, that the man had done that to let him know he would, rather than an attempt to avoid making promises he wasn't sure he could keep.

"We gotta go."

The two turned to see Terran standing beside them, everyone else huddled a ways away behind him, beginning to pile into what Nicky assumed to be the vehicles that would bring them to the fight. 

Terran was dressed in gear identical to Rhett, though alongside his gun and ammunition were a variety of close combat weapons including batons, a vibranium crowbar, and gauntlets along his forearms that Nicky recognized as ones he had redesigned for Natasha not long after Terran had returned home; within the gauntlets were hidden blades, poison darts, and hooks attached to rope reminiscent of grappling hooks but with the ability to maim.

"So much for the 'no weapons,' thing, huh?" Terran joked, the most successful at forcing actual life into his eyes, "I'll let you know my kill count so we can atone later. I'm thinking charity work or riding the Cyclone non-stop for every body."

Nicky laughed, because there was nothing else he could do, and pretended like there wasn't a bowling ball sized lump in his throat threatening to choke him to death. Instead, he forced himself to look in Terran's eyes, the older man's smile slipping to a helpless desperation.

"Come here," he whispered, and Nicky all but jumped into his arms, hiding his face so no one could see he was crying; the last thing he wanted was to be a source of panic for Diana or a distraction for Sam.

"I'll be right back, okay?" Terran said, tone fierce despite his own unshed tears, "There's only one thing that'll keep me from coming back, so I swear, I'll be back."

"You better," Nicky growled, hiding his tears, "I'll kill you if you don't."

Terran breathed a laugh. "I'll hold you to that."

He set the psychologist back down and cradled his face in his hand before fully pulling away, looking to Rhett who nodded grimly, pausing to take off his glasses and perch them on Nicky's nose. Nicky grabbed his hand as it started to move away, though the Rhett let go earlier than either of them would have liked.

He watched as the two joined everyone else as they loaded into the hovering vehicles, though those in suits stayed back, Sam motioning for him over as T'Challa and Steve began to do a final check in.

Sam lifted his goggles and Nicky tilted his head up, not having to reach far, gripping Sam's arm as he kissed him goodbye. Deep, but chaste, it was enough for the moment, and they held each other for a moment longer before finally pulling away.

"See you soon," Sam promised, pressing a kiss to the top of his head then pushing Rhett's glasses up the bridge of his nose, holding his gaze as he stepped away to the launch area where Rhodey and Diana were waiting, "I love you."

"I love you too," Nicky called, then looked to Rhett and Terran who had heard as well, holding their gaze in turn; the words were as much for them as they were for Sam.

Steve glanced back from where he stood next to T'Challa, nodding to Nicky before looking back forward. "Let's go."

All at once, the vehicles came to life, starting forward before Nicky could even blink, Sam and the others following close behind. Nicky had planned to wait until he could no longer tell which figure was Sam, but then realized how futile that would be; no matter what, he would always be able to find Sam.

So, with a deep breath, he followed the remaining few Wakandans inside; there wasn't much he could do, but he would find his own way to help.

After all, someone had to be there to help the heroes once they came back. 

○ ○ ○

Nicky and Rhett were halfway through a movie when he finally blinked back to focus. He had seen the movie before—it was one of their mutual favorites—but he couldn't say what had happened between the time he had let Rhett inside and where they were now.

"It's okay," Rhett whispered, brushing their hands together, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Nicky shrugged and shook his head, settling further into Rhett's side. They fell into relative silence for some time before he finally spoke. "I think about what happened. All the time. First it was because I didn't want to, but then I realized that it hurts less if it's always fresh. There was a time when I didn't think about it for a month. Then I remembered, and Steve had to call the EMT's because he couldn't get me to breathe on my own and I thought I was dying."

Rhett stayed silent, not even looking at him, eyes glazed over as he listened, tuning out the movie. Nicky didn't take long to continue.

"So I don't want to talk about it 'cause I've talked it to death at this point," Nicky sighed, tracing patterns into Rhett's jeans, "But I'll probably have to talk about it more anyways."

"You don't have to do anything, not with me," Rhett breathed, and Nicky let out a sob before he even realized one was building.

Rhett nosed the top the older man's head as Nicky curled into a fetal position, Rhett pulling him into his lap and holding him, rubbing soothing circles into Nicky's back, periodically brushing back his hair. 

Throughout all of this, Nicky couldn't feel more than a dull ache, though he know there was so much more just beyond the wall his brain built up to keep him from falling apart; he could feel himself breaking, but instead he just shook, wracked with sobs that weren't as strong as they could have been.

Rhett just held the older man, hiding his face in his hair as Nicky hid his own in the crook of Rhett's neck, the two breathing to remind themselves the other was alive. Rhett held him the same way he had for years; even after all that had happened, the first time this happened they had slotted perfectly into place; they would have to adjust to everything else, but at least this stayed the same. 

Rhett startled at the sound of something being set on the coffee table. He clutched Nicky tighter, as if he could shield him out of sheer will alone, relaxing when his mind caught up and registered Sam who stood in front of them, holding out a glass of water, another on the coffee table.

He took the glass from the older man—the one who had actually been older from the beginning—and the two shared a look, conversations passing in the few, unblinking moments, Sam pulling away first to look at Nicky, expression softening more than it already had.

He jerked his thumb towards the door and Rhett nodded, now taking note of the man's jeans and jacket. He gave him a thumbs up around the glass in his hand and Sam smiled, leaning over to press a kiss to Nicky's head before heading out.

"Sam brought you water," Rhett explained as Nicky raised his head, catching Sam's gaze just before he closed the door.

Nicky nodded, wiping at his eyes as he took the glass and started drinking, managing to drink it all before having to stop to take a breath. He wiped his mouth, a ghost of life in his eyes. "This is one of the big glasses too. I'm proud of me."

"I'm proud of you too," Rhett said, far more honest than he had intended, but not as honest as he truly felt, "You should be proud."

Nicky shifted in place, mumbling unintelligibly, and Rhett took mercy on the older man, reaching out to pick up his own glass, taking his time drinking to let Nicky determine their next move. He had expected Nicky to make a comment about the movie or just settle back into silence, but the brunet opted for neither.

"You know when you think back to a time that was really embarrassing and you hate yourself and think of all the different ways it could have gone," Nicky began, fidgeting with his hands from his position on the couch, having slid out of Rhett's lap when the younger man went to get his own water.

Rhett nodded, not trusting himself to answer in a way that wouldn't affect what Nicky said next.

Nicky waited until he finished his water so he could maneuver along the couch, lying down, Nicky shoving himself between Rhett and the back of the couch, crushed between them as Rhett fought to stay on his side and not fall off the edge, though that seemed to be the older man's ultimate goal.

"I would replay that last time on the landing pad over and over," Nicky continued, and while he struggled, he never did forget how to communicate, "And I would hate myself because I didn't—I didn't say goodbye right."

He felt tears well up as a small burst of anger punched a laugh out of him. "The last thing I told you was we forgot to put the milk in the fridge."

He swiped harshly at his eyes, letting out another sardonic laugh. "And I said I didn't wanna deal with spoiled milk, and then I had to, but you weren't there and I—"

Rhett shushed him, nosing the top of his head as Nicky shook, though only a few tears fell before he seemed to give up, all the tension leaving him, his head rolling to the side, resting entirely on Rhett's shoulder, eyes drooping from the effort of keeping them open, letting out a world-weary sigh; considering the circumstances, Rhett had to wonder how he didn't sigh like that constantly.

"Sometimes I would wonder if I knew. You know. If deep down, I knew you weren't going to come back. That I said 'see you soon' and tried not to make a big deal because I didn't want to accept that I knew you weren't coming back," he whispered, Rhett unable to even hear the movie.

"But I don't really know. I don't know if I really thought you were going to be back soon or if I was just convincing myself that I did think you were because I missed you so much and I hated how I said goodbye. I was never going to see you again and the last thing I said was that I would see you soon so we could deal with our groceries."

His eyes glazed over, staring at nothing. "I didn't even say goodbye to Diana. I would have nightmares about her coming back, telling me that I knew she was going to die and didn't care. She would say I didn't care because I waited months before checking to see who had even survived."

Rhett didn't know what to say, so he just rubbed listened, though a selfish part of him wished he didn't have to; but he still listened. It had been years since Nicky had done the same for others, but he figured he could spare some of his time after all the years Nicky had devoted to do the same.

"When I—"

Nicky cut off, words literally caught in his throat, and Rhett finally looked at him, about to ask what was wrong, and Nicky just shook his head, taking deep breaths and trying to relax, his muscles tense again. He kept shaking his head, and then Rhett understood.

"You don't have to tell me now," he whispered, brushing back the hair that was plastered to Nicky's forehead, "It's okay. You'll remember when you're ready. Just put it away for now."

Nicky nodded, and Rhett watched as he tensed muscles by his temples pulled taut, only for his entire body to relax, the older man searching for every tense part of his body to try and let it go; he wasn't entirely successful, but he was successful enough to rest his head on Rhett's chest and sigh, lying still.

"I said 'see you soon,'" Nicky mumbled as Rhett moved to replay the movie, knowing that Nicky hated silence, "I don't know if I really meant it. I don't know if I knew or not."

"It doesn't matter anymore, kiddo," Rhett whispered, hiding his surprise when Nicky propped himself up just enough to catch his eye, "We're here now. All of us. Everything already happened and, I mean...you weren't completely wrong."

Nicky frowned, making a face so similar to how he used to that Rhett had to fight the urge to grin and sob, instead just holding his gaze, channelling all the times he had had to explain something to the man when he was distraught; though he had been the younger one at the time, but the point still stood.

"You did see us again, it just wasn't soon," Rhett explained, shrugging as he thought, "I mean, I guess it depends on your definition of soon. But either way, better late than never. We're here now. I know that doesn't change anything, but neither does obsessing over a thought you may or may not have had."

Rhett tilted his head back, looking up at the ceiling, while Nicky went back to rest his head on Rhett's chest, neither speaking as Nicky mulled over the words while Rhett weighed the pros and cons of breaking Nicky's lease early.

"C's get degrees," Nicky said finally, nodding to himself.

Rhett snorted, flashing Nicky a bright, genuine smile which only widened when the older man was able to give him one of his own; not like before, but that didn't matter much to him.

"That's one way to put it," Rhett conceded, shifting as Nicky shimmied his way up so he was closer to where Rhett's head was propped on the armrest, "Though I'm pretty sure you never got a C in your life."

Nicky shrugged. "Not in school, though I got a lot of B's, but in real life I'm sure I got a lot of C's. But, you know, I made it, so it doesn't really matter..."

He trailed off, staring off into the distance, before his lips were pursed into something resembling a pout and his eyes narrowed, glower trained at Rhett who couldn't help but grin back.

"I can't believe you just mind tricked me into accepting your point. I have three goddamn degrees, that's supposed to be my job!"

He huffed as Rhett threw his head back and laughed, a smile playing on the corners of Nicky's lips as he dropped his head onto the blond's shoulder, listening to his laugh as it filled the room from the source, not just from a video like it had for the past half decade. He had been waiting for a long time to hear that laugh, but it was better late than never.

Nicky sighed, closing his eyes and wrapping his arms around Rhett as he settled into his side. A smile continued to play at his lips as the blond held him close, the two tuning back into the sound of the room, now remembering the movie they had neglected to watch.

"I haven't seen this one in a while," Nicky commented, opening one eye to see what was happening on screen.

"Yeah, it was, what, a year since we watched this?" he asked, eyes widening when he realized what he said.

Nicky just snorted, poking the younger man in the side. "Bold of you to assume I have a concept of time. Play it back from the beginning and get some popcorn, we might as well watch this right."

º º º

When Sam arrived at Nicky's apartment at the end of the day, groceries in hand, he found Nicky and Rhett asleep on the couch, an empty bowl of popcorn on the ground and the tail end of a franchise threequel playing on the TV. Not wanting to bother them, he picked up the bowl and let them be, smiling to himself as he took a few pictures of the two for posterity.

It would only be much later, when scrolling through the photos to show Torres and send to certain residents on the moon, that he would realize that Nicky, while asleep, had been smiling. 

AUTHOR'S NOTE

( 06.09.21 )

According to dictionary.com, threequel is a word, and according to my brain, this chapter had to be dedicated to Nicky and Rhett, as well as a long-ass flashback to Infinity War that I didn't expect to exist. I hope ya'll don't mind, this honestly wasn't what the plan was, but it feels right to have it, and it was honestly really fun for me. (Also, do you like how the last line relates to the chapter title because I didn't even plan that, though I can say that the title is a lowkey call out to me who had planned for Rhett to show up in chapter one, but he's here now, so!)

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!