Edited by my good friend The hardie-boy! 

Chapter 5:

"All day, staring at the ceiling

Making friends with shadows on my wall

All night, hearing voices telling me

That I should get some sleep

Because tomorrow might be good for something.

Hold on,

Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown.

And I don't know why

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell."

~Matchbox Twenty, Unwell.

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Louie:

This wasn't happening.

Louie didn't even notice until that night.

Black patches of skin on his arm.

Why didn't he care? This could be the plague or something... but he didn't bother telling Donald, didn't want to tell Beakley or Scrooge or anyone, and especially not Della.

Sometimes, he wished the world would leave him alone. He knew he wasn't going to amount to much. All he does is screw up, and the sooner he and everyone else knew that, the better.

For some reason, Louie thought he could sleep tonight.

It shouldn't have been so bad this weekend, and it wasn't.

And yet it was.

Donald didn't ask him too many questions, but every now and then reminded him that if Louie wanted to talk, that he could. He appreciated the concern, but it only made his demons speak, and they weren't supposed to talk this weekend.

"How could you?"

"Your mother was excited for this trip!"

"So were your brothers."

"And now you're lying to Donald."

"They hate you."

"They do!"

"They don't..."

"Fine, keep lying to yourself then."

Louie thought maybe the voices would stop if he ignored them, but they just kept going.

Was he crazy?

Something was definitely wrong with him.

Nobody heard voices in their head. That was just insane.

Was Louie crazy?

Nonsense, Louie knew the voices in his head weren't real, just his own thoughts talking to him.

He wasn't Joan of Arc crazy, so maybe he's just not crazy.

But crazy people don't know they're crazy, so if he knows he's crazy, does that mean he's not crazy? If he thinks he's sane, is he crazy then?

The thought made his head hurt. How was he supposed to survive tomorrow? How could he face his mother again?

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Sometimes the world surprises you with a good day.

The next day:

Louie:

Louie was tired.

Mentally.

Physically.

Spiritually.

Whatever else there was.

Tired.

Della and the others came back and constantly talked about everything he'd missed on this adventure, but Louie really didn't care. Usually he'd be upset to miss a treasure hunting adventure, but he found that he really didn't care.

"You should've seen it! The treasure was huge! We can show you when we visit the bin later," Huey said, finishing his long story.

"No thanks Hue, I'm fine," Louie said.

"Are you okay?"

Louie nodded unconvincingly.

Huey placed a hand on his shoulder, "You say that you're fine, but your actions say otherwise."

Louie forcefully shoved him away, "What do you want from me?"

"The truth. What's going on? You're not interested in the things you used to love, you're not eating much anymore, and sometimes I think you're avoiding us."

"Maybe I am."

"Boys, dinner!" Beakley called.

"Coming!" Huey shouted back then turned his attention back to his brother. "Louie, if something is wrong-"

"I know!" he yelled. Seeing Huey's face, he took a deep breath and lowered his voice. "I know, I'm just a little tired okay?"

Both boys went downstairs, where everyone was already discussing the adventure.

Louie wished he didn't care.

He didn't care enough to go on said adventure, but he cared that everyone reminded him of what he missed.

He never wanted to experience it. But he didn't want to miss it.

"Seems like they had a nice time."

"Yes, it seems they did."

"I'm sure it's much more fun without you."

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"So Louie, what did you do this weekend?" Della impulsively asked.

"Anything but sleep."

"Nothing."

"Well how was your day?" she asked.

"Fine." He shrugged.

"Louie, you seem tired," Beakley said. "Did you get enough sleep?"

"No, thanks for asking!"

"Mhmm." Again, he heard her say something, but didn't care enough to answer.

It looked like Della was going to say something else that worried Louie more than anything until Dewey rudely interrupted and changed the subject, and everyone turned their attention to him.

He knew Dewey was worth something.

That night:

Not much happened that day. Everyone was tired, so they took it easy.

It wasn't that bad. His demons mostly complained about the family asking too many questions.

There was a knock at the door, and Huey told them to come in.

It was Della.

Of course it was.

"Hi boys, I just came to say goodnight."

Louie wished he was asleep, so he wouldn't have to pretend to be okay.

"Louie, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"She's so rude. Maybe we wanted to sleep. She doesn't care! I wish we were dead. Tell her to leave us, Llewelyn, so we can be alone."

"Okay," he said out loud, making Della smile.

Huey smiled too.

His brothers left Louie and Della alone. The voices didn't speak, but he knew they were angry.

Della:

She wasn't sure what she was supposed to say, "Louie?"

"Yes?"

He stared at her without any recognizable emotion.

She started again, "Louie-"

"Yes?" he said again but with his eyebrows raised.

"You are okay, right?"

Louie looked confused.

"If something was wrong, you know you can tell me, right?"

Louie looked away. "No, I don't know."

Not the answer she was hoping for, but at least it was honest.

"Oh. Well- uh, Louie?"

This time Louie just sighed in response. Not that she could blame him,

"I'm here if you need me okay? Don't be afraid to come to me."

He nodded and tried to smile but...

It wasn't natural.

"I love you."

"Okay," he said.

Della didn't mind that he didn't say it back, it was just more honesty.

She smiled and forced a hug upon him.

"Goodnight, Louie."

"Goodnight, mom."

Louie:

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What if that conversation was different?

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