"Shall we go back to yours, Sirius? It's closest anyway."

"Are you kidding, Dorcas, I've just had a twelve hour flight and you expect me to host guests." Sirius said in mock disbelief.

"...You had a twelve hour flight?!... Where the hell have you been, Sirius?" He just tapped the side of his nose which was honestly the most annoying thing ever. We made our way to my flight (It was always mine or Sirius's never James's, I was beginning to think he didn't actually have a place of his own and was just mooching off us).

"So, Sirius, tell us about your month long trip... I want to know ever detail." James said as we walked into ours.

"And I will tell you but first I have something to ask you. Where you guys watching friends? Sirius pointed to the DVD on the sofa, "Shall we have a friends marathon?!"

"Absolutely!" James said excitedly, "I'll get the Oreos!" He said before dashing out of the room.

"Great, this is going to be so good." Sirius leapt over the sofa arm and spread himself along the sofa. I checked my watch, it had literally been ten seconds and they'd already forgot that we were meant to be finding out about what Sirius got up to. Unbelievable.

"No, no, NO!" I said, stamping my foot on the ground. James and Sirius both turned to me with the same annoying, confused expressions on their faces.

"Problem, Dorcas?" James asked as he sneakily bit into an oreo.

"Do you not want to watch Friends? I though you loved watching Friends with friends." Sirius said.

"But I want to hear about what you and Remus got up to..." I whined.

"Ah, Dorcas, I will tell you but you know me, I love suspense and I'll probably feel a lot more talkative after a few episodes of Friends." I opened my mouth to argue back the idea of Friends with friends and Oreos was VERY convincing and I slumped down next to him.

"Fine, but only one or two episodes." I said as James and Sirius exchanged a triumphant look.

Seven episodes later, I finally managed to snatch the remote off James before he could put the next one on.

"Dorcas, give that back!" He complained, trying to reach for it without standing up.

"No, we have watched too much Friends and I want to find out what my actual friend has been up to the past month."

"You know, you've been with me for the past - " James began.

"Not you, James! I know what you've been up to."

"Well, not... everything." James said with a smirk as him and Sirius high fived without looking.

"I'm not even going to ask." I said, "I don't want to know and if I do ask, I reckon we'll get even more side tracked."

"Wise choice, Dorcas." Sirius said with a grin, "Okay, so you really want to know what me and Remus got up to?"

"Yes. Obviously. I thought you'd be gone for a like a weekend not a whole month."

"Okay, so at first, I thought it would be a weekend too, we drove down to Brighton and stayed there for a few days but then Remus was like, 'Hey, I've never been to France! Let's go to France!" so we did. And then after a few days in France, we decided that we really should held home again but we didn't... we just drove to Germany. And then after a few days there, I thought we should head home but we didn't again, we went to Poland instead. And then I - "

"Just give me a list of countries you went to, Sirius, I sense that this story is going to be very repetitive."

"Do you want the full story or not." Sirius said huffily, "You can't ask me to tell you and then get annoyed that it's long."

"I'm not annoyed that it's long, it's annoying that the structure is repeating itself." I argued back and Sirius shrugged annoyingly.

"The point is that we went travelling and it was amazing. Remus even managed to convince me to go walking with him again and we stargazed up a mountain, it was incredible. He was incredible." Sirius said with a dreamy look in his eyes that I'd never seen before.

"I do believe our Padfoot is in love." James said with a grin. Sirius smirked and opened his mouth as if to deny it.

"I don't know if it's love... yet." He added, looking up dramatically like his life was some dramatic TV show or something, "But I definetly like him more than I've ever liked anyone. It's such a good feeling, James you know how I feel, right?"

"I do." James said, his tone suddenly just as dreamy as Sirius's. The two of them lay back on my sofa gazing up at the ceiling, "It's beautiful, isn't it."

"What? My ceiling?" I said, trying to snap them out of their sudden romantic mood.

"No, idiot. Love." Sirius said in a way that made me want to throw up, "I just want everyone to feel it, I want to spread it around."

"How would you do that?" James asked.

"You could deliver it in the mail or perhaps via a mass text to the world." I suggested unhelpfully, causing Sirius to shot a glare in my direction.

"I was thinking I could start small, one person at a time." As he said this, I saw a familiar twinkle in his eye and I could tell exactly what was coming, "James, tells me that you've been pining after our lovely Marlene? Is that correct?"

"Not pining..." I said, weakly, "Anyway, you never finished telling us all the countries you visited... I want to know..." It was a desperate and poor attempt to change the conversation and both Sirius and James gave me a sympathetic look.

"Oh Dorcas. How bad is it?" Sirius asked in an annoyingly patronising tone. If I thought Cassanova Sirius was annoying, I sensed that relationship guru Sirius would be worse.

"What do you mean how bad is it?" I said, with a fake laugh that wasn't fooling anyone.

"Your love life, Dorcas." Sirius said in an annoyingly condescending voice, "Please be completely honest here, I can help you."

I looked between him and James who both had a sort of sympathetic look on their face that I hated. Sirius looked like the annoying guidance councillor at my school who would tell me how withdrawn I was (like I didn't already know that). I folded my arms defensively.

"Don't give me those faces!"

"What faces?" James asked innocently.

"You know what faces!" I said back, huffily, "The faces that make it seem like I need help with my love life - "

"You do." Sirius cut in.

"Shut up, Sirius! You two aren't exactly love experts."

"We're both in relationships." James pointed out.

"Yeah, for like a month. Literally about a month ago, James was pining after a redhead who wouldn't give him the time of the day and Sirius was involved in some creepy scheme to scam Remus."

"Well... to be fair... you helped." Sirius said with a charming grin.

"I helped because I knew I'd get sucked in anyway and you said you'd pay me in chocolate cake, which you still haven't!" I replied defensively.

"Yeah right - " Sirius began but I wasn't about to let the topic be changed again.

"Anyway, the point is that neither of you are love experts."

"Neither are you." James said with a grin.

"I never said I was!"

"But the point is that we're better than you." Sirius said as if that made perfect sense.

"I don't think that was the point at all..." I said, "But everyone is better than me! It's not really an achievement!"

"If we're better than you then let us help you!" Sirius said, his eyes gleaming. I couldn't help but roll my eyes. The moment he'd started his love guru act, I could feel this coming.

"No, I don't want to be helped. If I get Marlene, I get Marlene and we will be very happy but I want to do it my way, okay? I want her to like me and not my imaginary twin brother." I said firmly.

"Low blow, Dorcas." James said shaking his head at me which was quite irritating.

"That's irrelevant. But do you guys get what I'm saying?"

"Yep." James said with a smirk on his face that wasn't very reassuring.

"James, Sirius, promise me you won't meddle."

"I promise." James said, putting his hand on his heart, "See, my hand's on my heart, that's what makes it possible. If I broke it you get me to stab me in the heart of something."

"James, I don't think that's how it works but I appreciate the sentiment." I said, turning to Sirius who was intentionally avoiding eye contact, "And you, Sirius?"

"And me what?" He said, widening his eyes innocently.

"Do you promise not to meddle?"

"Do I what?" Sirius said, furrowing his brow as if he'd misheard me.

"Damn it, Sirius, you're not mishearing me, I can tell!" I snapped my fingers at him to get his attention, "Repeat after me: I, Sirius Black, will not meddle in Dorcas Meadowes' love life."

Sirius turned to me with a mischievous grin, making a big show of putting his hand on his heart, "I, Sirius Black, solemnly swear I will not meddle - "

"You know, I think I'd believe you more if you stopped crossing your fingers." I said, scowling at him.

"Okay, I'm sorry, I won't meddle, okay?" Sirius said, trying to sound sincere although his eyes were still gleaming with mischief.

"Okay..." I said, a little warily.

"Great, now shall we carry on watching Friends?" Sirius said, attempting to grab the remote without sitting up.

"We never heard all about what you and Remus did!" I complained but Sirius waved his hand, brushing it off.

"Eh, another time. Besides, it's the first rule of anything, always leave them wanting more..."