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"When the world seems so cruel, and your heart makes you feel like a fool."

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SO MANY THINGS have changed since the night of the crash, things that I wish I could reverse. I want to take the pain away from James' eyes every time I looked at him. I want him to stop feeling responsible for something he had no control of. I want Elena human again for the sake of my brothers and Caroline who do nothing but blame themselves for her pain when in reality it was Rebekah's fault. And most of all I want to forget about the confession Klaus spilled on me the other day. I want to pretend it never happened, but I can't because it did.

I can't just wipe it away or forget about it no matter how badly I want to because I can't stop thinking about what it all means. Here I find myself questioning everything about myself from my values to my standards no matter how selfish it sounds. The worst part is that Elijah heard it all, and possibly Joel too. I can only hope they won't say anything until I figure out where I stand first.

Joel and I brought back the truck a few days ago, and James seemed happy to say the least. He stared at it in awe when we pulled in, but he hasn't even driven it yet. Something tells me he fears himself more than anything, and it's extremely painful for me to watch.

"You want me to go to some memorial for a bunch of council members who want us dead?" I gape dramatically while drinking from a mug of blood.

"Correction: wanted us dead," Damon says. "There was some explosion at the Young farm killing a bunch of people, some on the council. Now that Alaric's outed us out to the council, we still have to watch our backs," Damon explains.

"Still doesn't explain why I have to go," I point out.

"You're going Ms. Founding Family member," Damon growls, before speeding upstairs to get ready along with everybody else.

About an hour later we all find ourselves downstairs waiting to go, dressed in our finest funeral attire, mine being a simple black dress. I still don't see the point in going to a funeral seeing as I don't know anyone that died, yet I know Damon will never let me out of it.

"Let's go," he says, pointing to the door leading all of us to follow. I glance over at James and give him a light smile as we walk to his new truck. He smiles kindly back, but I can see it's forced. I know Joel sees it too, but neither of us say anything.

"Can you drive please, Blair?" James asks once we reach his truck.

"What? Why?" I ask.

"Please," he asks in my mind.

I jump at the sudden voice in my head, staring at James who looks at me with pleading eyes. I can see the pain radiating off him, shining off his eyes and vibrating through his voice.

I only give him a small, sad smile as he throws me the keys.

∆ ∆ ∆

I haven't been to a funeral since my mother died, and that was a good century and a half ago. I've always hated funerals, which was part of the reason I didn't want to go to this one. Not just because they're depressing but also because they are boring.

The church is full by the time we get there, pictures of all the deceased lined up on stage with Mayor Lockwood standing at the mic. I sit between James and Damon, with Joel on the other side of James and Elena on the other side of Damon. She's sandwiched between my brothers, her face incredibly pale and her eyes shining with tears. I give Damon a questioning look but he only shakes me off, pursing his lips in a concerning manner. I can tell Elena's having a hard time with the whole thing, but there's nothing I can do leaving me to turn my attention back to the funeral at hand.

"Is there anyone who would like to say a few words about the Pastor Young, or any of the other loved ones?" the Mayor asks.

I wince as no one stands up or raises their hands, making the silence painful and quite embaressing. Hell, I'm about to get up and say a bunch of bullshit about people I don't know just to end the deafening silence when suddenly Elena gets up.

She struggles to get up on stage, her whole body shaking and her skin pale as she beings to speak. She barely gets a few words out before she begins pausing between words, clearly in pain. Then it happens.

A single drop of blood can be smelt and heard falling from somewhere in the church, one drop after another until it's falling in a rhythmical pattern. Out of curiosity I'm about to turn around and investigate the sound when suddenly Damon grabs my chin and holds it steady.

"Damon?" I growl, as he lets go of me.

"I may have forgotten to mention Tyler Lockwood had a run in with a new hunter in town," Damon winces.

"You didn't think to tell us earlier?" James questions, all of us casually talking while still watching Elena on stage.

"Nobody move, it's a trap," Damon says, loud enough that only vampires can hear.

"Maybe we should give him something to shoot at, seeing as Elena's about to freak out on stage. There's no doubt he's got his scope targeted on her," I point out, moving out of my seat to get up, but James gently holds me back.

"Blair," he warns, just as Stefan gets up and brings Elena back down, the choir beginning to sing giving us a moment to discuss our way out of this.

"We need to get out of here," Joel says, anxiously shifting on his feet.

"We can't, not with someone watching us," Stefan says, still holding Elena.

"If someone doesn't think of a goddamn plan within the next five seconds, I'm going to go rip the bastards head off," I growl, waiting impatiently.

"Not if I beat you to it, sister," Damon smirks.

"Nobody is going anywhere until we figure something out," Stefan says, trying to destroy the plan Damon and I have conjured up.

"Three, two, one," Damon says quickly, as we both go to greet the new hunter in town.

"Wait," I say to Damon. "I have a better idea."

"Care to elaborate?" Damon asks.

"Like I said, let's give him a different target to shoot at," I say, and before any of them can stop me, I walk up the isle and to the stage, interrupting the song the choir is singing.

"Excuse me," I begin. "I would like to say a few kind words about Pastor Young." I smile in the most polite way, looking above to get a better view at the hunter. From where I'm standing I can see him perfectly, the scope of his gun no doubt trained on me. He doesn't know what I am, so instead I smile deviously at him, cocking my head to the side in a mocking way. Apparently he doesn't like that very much as a loud bang erupts throughout the church as his gun goes off.

I don't have time to react as his gun fires a small wooden stake into my chest, the force sending me falling backwards, crashing into the wall. Chaos blooms as everyone bolts to the door, screaming and crying. I lay there, struggling to breathe as the stake pierces my lung.

I open my eyes and see Klaus hovering above me, instantly kneeling by my side to take out the stake. Confused, I blink rapidly only to realize it's James I see, not Klaus.

James reaches for the stake and pulls it out of my chest, the pressure released from my lungs. I take in a deep breath as he helps me sit up, his strong hand holding my back steady.

"Blair, I thought we had a plan together," Damon growls, looking at me in disappointment.

"Yeah, well at least everyone is safe now," I groan, going to get up when suddenly Mayor Lockwood runs over to us.

"I'm going to kill that bastard," Damon growls before disappearing.

"That's not fair! I wanted to kill him!" I complain, wincing as I move.

"I have to call an ambulance," Mayor Lockwood says.

"But I'm fine!" I argue.

"Blair, the whole town just watched you get shot!" Caroline exclaims in worry. "Are you okay!" she asks.

"Fine Care. Right now I just really want some of that hunter's heart," I growl, getting up with James's help. "Tell Mayor Lockwood to forget about the ambulance," I yell before sprinting off to find Damon, with Joel and James right on my tail.

I reach the parking lot too late to see the hunter drive off in his truck, Damon on the ground groaning in pain. "Well big brother, did you kick his ass?" I ask.

"I think you need to revaluate the situation here, Blair. The question you need to ask here is, who did the ass whooping?" Joel snickers earning a smirk from all four of us.

I hold out my hand and help Damon up, both of our funeral attire caked with our own blood. "He and I have personal beef," Damon growls, groaning as he picks out the bullets lodged in his skin.

"We have some too," I say.

"Same here," Joel says, raising his hand.

"Count me in," James says, his hands in his suit pocket.

"Isn't this a cute revenge group," I cheer.

"Why the hell are you so chipper for someone who just got shot? Go die already, geesh," Joel jokes, laughing to himself.

"You know what Branson?" I say, holding him in a head lock and ruffing up his hair. As we play fight I glance up at James and for the first time in a while, I see a real smile on his face.

∆ ∆ ∆

By nightfall Stefan sends a text message out to all of us, requesting that we meet at the school in the middle of the night. So that's where we all find ourselves, sitting at picnic tables waiting as Stefan and Elena finally arrive.

"Can you please tell me why we're here?" I ask impatiently. About all of us are here; Jeremy, Matt, Caroline, Tyler, Bonnie, Elena, Stefan, Joel, James, Damon and me.

"We're finishing the memorial we didn't get to have earlier," Stefan explains. "We need to heal, especially after all we've lost." Stefan says as he passes out plastic pieces of paper that I have no idea what to do with. "We always push away, make a joke about how we feel, but I think we should let ourselves grieve."

"With what? Plastic?" I remark.

"They're lanterns idiot. Oh right," Joel says, placing a hand sarcastically over his agape mouth. "They didn't have that back in your time," he teases, knowing very well lanterns date back thousands of years.

"Zip it, Branson," I growl with a smirk. Usually I don't like people talking about all the time I missed spent in the tomb, but I've gotten past it, accepted it even. And I know Joel never means anything he says.

"We came to light lanterns?" Damon asks incredulously.

"Yeah we did," Stefan says, lighting up his lantern. "This is for my uncle Zach, my friend Lexi, and Alaric," Stefan says.

As soon as Lexi's name leaves Stefan's lips, the Branson brothers freeze, listening to every word Stefan says. I smile at Stefan, thankful that he had thought of this because frankly it's what everyone needs.

"I'm not doing this," Damon says, walking off. Neither Stefan nor I try and stop him, because we know Damon has his own way of grieving that no doubt has a bottle of bourbon involved.

"This is for Vicki," Matt says, before lighting his and passing off the lighter.

"This is for my dad," Caroline says.

"This is for my dad," Tyler says, hugging Caroline.

"This is for our parents, for Vicki, Anna, Jenna and Alaric," Jeremy says, before lighting his.

"This is for my grams," Bonnie says.

"This is for my mom, my dad, Jenna, everyone that you've all lost. Everyone this town has lost. And for me," Elena says, making me want to scoff, but I hold it in, saving it for a more appropriate time. I take a deep breath as Elena passes the lighter to me, smiling as I take it.

I sit here, thinking hard and long about the people that had died in my life before deciding on what to say. "This is for my mom," I croak, tears welling in my eyes before I continue. "And Bonnie's mom, Alaric, and for a beautiful couple named Rhonda and Anthony Bridges who left behind a son," I say, smiling kindly at James who has his own tears shining in his eyes.

"This is for my little sister Lexi, and for Rhonda and Anthony Bridges," James says, lighting his, before passing it off to Joel.

"This is for my big sister Lexi," Joel says, lighting his.

Once all of the lanterns are lit, we release them at the same time, letting them float away. As we watch them travel high into the sky, I feel a great pressure release off of me, and I know everyone else does too. I take James's hand, giving it a squeeze as we watch the lanterns float away. I know it's nothing that can change what has happened, but it's a step in the right direction.

After they all float away and out of sight we travel back to our cars, preparing to drive home when suddenly my phone rings. "Hello?" I ask.

"Hi, is this Blair Salvatore?" a woman asks.

"Speaking," I answer.

"Hi, this is the Mystic Falls Hospital calling about Theodore Bridges. We would like you to come to the hospital as soon as possible," the nurse says, making a giant lump form in my throat.

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[completed & edited: 08/29/2021]