thirteen
"I knew you would have run off in the Hospital, to be fairly honest" Harry said looking up as soon as he heard my steps coming closer.
I gave him a shocked look, a shiver running down my spine as I glanced at him, at his stained, white shirt, his somewhat messy hair, and most importantly, his green eyes. I stared into them, not a single word coming out of my lips, trying to make sense of everything that was going on.
"Is something wrong?" He asked politely, a frown finding its way onto his face, stepping closer to me.
I took a step back almost instantly, lifting my arm between us to make sure he wouldn't have got any closer than he already had. I took a deep breath to try to calm myself down, the tensed muscles of my legs, ready to bolt, starting to hurt.
He furrowed his eyebrows, not understanding the meaning behind my scared actions. "Emma?" He asked quietly, the slightest hint of nervousness in his voice.
"Why's there a headstone with your name?" I asked fast, my eyes wide as I stared into his irises. "Tell me!" I said louder, the tremble of fear making my voice shake in my throat.
The confused look didn't leave his face at my words. "What are you talking about?" He asked faintly.
"Your name! Your fucking name!" I shouted at him, taking another step away from him. "Your fucking name is etched on a headstone in the graveyard of the asylum!"
He widened his eyes. "No, it cannot be. I'm here" he said confusedly, as if he was trying to reason with what I'd just told him. "I'm here."
I blinked a few times, trying to get rid of the sudden wetness that had polled in my eyes, letting my arm drop to my side as I stared at him, the look on my face just as shocked as the one into his green eyes. "Harry..." I said quietly as the truth started to find its way into my mind, looking at the way the light coming in from the window enlightened his irises, making them shine of golden speckles. I let my gaze fall down to the ground, a sudden weight falling down on my chest as I noticed something.
It was the first time I saw Harry in the sunlight, despite the by then couple of days we'd spent together, given it'd been dark most of the time. But standing there, in front of him, bathing in the sunlight of the end of summer, it was impossible not to notice that there was a single shadow on the ground, instead of two.
He followed my gaze, his eyes widening when he noticed the same thing. He took a step back, shaking his head, his eyes becoming glassy as he kept staring at the floor, as if he expected it to just appear due to the shift in position. "No" he said faintly, blinking fast, his breath stopping in his throat. "No, it cannot be." He shook his head again in a nervous motion, looking up at me, a terrified look in his eyes, as if he expected me to explain what was going on.
"Harry" I choked out, the fear leaving me as I realised that he was just as terrified as I was. The realisation of what it all meant struck me, really struck me, only in that moment, and I felt my head spin. I looked up at him, meeting his petrified stare, matching it with my own. My heart beating faster and faster in my chest, I slowly lifted my hand to close the small distance between us.
He stared at it, horror in his eyes, before glancing between me and my hand, that was just a couple of feet away from him, almost inviting him towards me. A shaky breath left his lips, the trembling of his figure being so harsh that I could see it from where I was standing, lifting his hand as well. He kept it there, his palm just a couple of inches away from mine, for a couple of seconds, before hesitantly closing the distance.
For the slightest second his hand brushed against mine, just before passing through mine as if it'd encountered no opposition at all.
I hissed, retracting my hand fast as a sudden coldness washed through it, so penetrating that it raised goosebumps on my skin. I pressed it against my chest, squeezing it hard with my other hand as the warmth Harry had stolen from me slowly came back to it, making the aching subside.
I looked at Harry, his shocked look was still focused on the place where our hands had been. "I am so sorry" I said faintly, my voice breaking, the words feeling useless as soon as they came out of my lips. What was I sorry for? For the true matter at hand, or for shouting it at him, having supposed that he already knew, and had been playing me for all this time? Being sorry wouldn't have changed it. Something like that couldn't be fixed.
"I... I'm twenty-three" he babbled, his disconcerted gaze searching for my eyes. "How..." His voice died in his throat, and he blinked fast, trying to get himself together at best. "How did it happen?" He choked out in the end, as if he truly expected me to have the answer.
I shook my head, unable to keep a tear from escaping the prison of my eyelashes. "I don't know, Harry" I replied in a faint whisper in the end, my words feeling to loud as soon as they came out of my mouth. I stared at the man in front of me, trying to come to terms with the fact that, despite being right in front of me, he was gone. I hadn't know him for long, but I knew he didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve to have the most precious thing harshly taken away from him, by someone else's wish. It was so, so wrong. Everything was wrong, and fucked up.
He looked at me, wetness in his eyes, a shocked look on his face, without saying a word. I gazed at him in the eyes, wide in fear. How could they look so alive, while being the exact opposite?
"I... I need some time" he said, before turning around and disappearing into the asylum, leaving me alone.
I nodded, even though I knew he had already left, sitting on the floor and staring at the opposite wall, trying to come to terms with the fact that I was stuck inside an abandoned asylum, in the company of someone that was no longer alive.
• • •
It felt like hours had passed when I heard his steps on the floor again, but the sun was still up in the sky.
I glanced up, looking at him as he came near, wanting to say something, but not knowing what I could've said to him.
He stopped in front of me, but turned to look out of the window, as if he couldn't find it in him to hold my gaze. He seemed so different from the first time I'd seen him, the newly found knowledge already taking a toll on him, making him seem sullen.
I looked down, unable to look at him. I'd never thought I would've found myself in a similar situation - to be honest, I never even thought it would've been slightly possible for me to find myself in such a situation, but there he was, standing in front of me, proving me that everything I'd believed for my whole life was wrong. He was there, but he shouldn't have been. How could he be there? Where was the logic, the science, in all that?
"We..." he started, making me glance up all of sudden, but then shook his head. "Do you still want to find a way out?" He asked, quickly changing topic while he tried to silently come to terms with everything.
I nodded, knowing that it was absolutely imperative, even more in that moment than before. I didn't want what had happened to him to happen to me as well. "How?"
"I don't know" he replied glancing out of the window again, wrapping his arms around his middle in a somewhat protective way.
I glanced at him, trying to make sense of it all. He was still a person just like me after all, wasn't he? Despite one single, but not so small, detail. He didn't appear that scary anymore, standing in front of me, wariness in his eyes as he desperately tried to come to terms with the new, shocking knowledge.
I sighed as I met his tired green eyes, hesitantly taking a step forward to get close to him, thinking of what I could've said to comfort him. The truth was, I didn't think I could've said anything to make him feel better. We both knew nothing would've been okay. "I truly am sorry" I whispered in the end, even though I knew those words were completely useless to him. I sighed when he didn't reply, turning my head to look out of the window, to the messy garden enlightened by the afternoon light.
I widened my eyes as I suddenly realised something didn't quite add up. In the graveyard I'd seen forty graves, but I was quite sure that, in that moment, Harry and I were alone in the asylum. If... someone else was there, we would've surely met them at that point.
"Harry" I called, getting his attention. "Why are you here? You shouldn't be here" I said, hoping that he would've understood what I was talking about without me needing to say it in a more explicit way.
He looked down, wrapping his arms around his chest tighter, the sudden gloominess in his eyes telling me he'd perfectly understood what I was talking about. "I don't know" he said in a faint whisper, a hint of edge in his voice, as if he'd got angry at himself for not knowing such a basic, but so important, thing for himself.
I nodded quickly. "Let's just find a way out" I changed topic, realising that it was way too soon to start questioning him about something he himself hadn't known until a few minutes before. "Any idea of where to start?"
"The Main Office" he replied, taking the distraction gladly. "It is the core of the Hospital."
I nodded. "Good idea, let's go there."
He said nothing, but started walking in a direction, leaving me to follow him after having given one last chance at the huge windows. The sky was of a deep shade of blue. It almost seemed like nothing had changed, with the only exception that everything had.
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