Please excuse ANY errors.

February 15, 1999

~Darryl's P.O.V~

My wife and I have been in the process of settling into our new home for the past month or so. We still aren't completely settled because we're adding our little touches to the place. It's a nice home in a nice area and we're forever grateful to get a place in a nice laying area. It was hard for us to find a house because we were looking to purchase in an area that doesn't get hit as hard when it comes to hurricanes, and we were on a budget.

I could definitely afford to buy a place because I work so much, but there still was a budget we had to stay in. However, my daughter buying us a house was a blessing. There were so many people looking to buy and rent out homes because they lost their homes too. There were waiting lists to which we were on as well, but by the grace of God and my child, we're on our own again.

My wife finally hung up the phone. She was speaking or more like yelling on the phone with her sisters. They're always arguing over small things that shouldn't even cause an argument. The problem is all of them call each other when something goes wrong or they bring up an old conversation or action and they all end up arguing.

Yesterday was Valentine's Day and it was a fantastic day, but the exact next day my wife and her sisters are arguing about something that I'm sure she'll tell me over and over again. She repeats things all day if she's upset. La'Zardia won't let things go.

"I'm over here telling them about Tia and they get mad at me talkin' about some, "well, she doesn't care for us no way. She doesn't call us or nothin'," my wife finished mocking her sisters. "They act like she never did shit for them and the phone is only one way. They know my daughter is out of sight, out of mind type and she's quiet. What the fuck these bitches talkin' about?" She asked me.

"I- I don't know," I replied truthfully. "Don't let people upset you. It's like every time you speak to them, there's an argument and you speak to them a lot."

"I'm just sayin', what the hell are they talkin' about?"

I remained silent as she began repeating what they said, sometimes she'd add something she may have missed, but I'm halfway listening. Why? Because it's repetitive! This is a common occurrence that I, as well as her children, are used to this. It's not even just with her sisters, it's any altercation she gets into. We or whoever is around won't hear the end of it.

"Did you enjoy Valentine's Day?" I asked my wife.

"It was fun," she nodded. "And I loved the presents."

"I enjoyed my gift too," I told her. "You know our daughter's birthday is tomorrow?"

"I know, and?" She asked me.

"Nothin', I was just remindin' you. You gon' call her?" I proceeded to ask her.

"No, you know I haven't talked to her since the Christmas trip," she reminded me. "Why would I?"

"Because that's our daughter," I sang.

"Since you claim you're her dad, then how come you don't call her?" She asked me.

"I never said that I wouldn't," I replied.

"What's the point if she probably won't even answer?" She asked me. "She cut you off too."

"Maybe she won't and maybe she would, we'll never know unless we try," I replied.

"The way she treated you the last time y'all talked, I'm surprised you would put that much effort into it," she chuckled. "She has made it clear that she doesn't want to hear from us. I say, let that shit go," my wife shrugged. "No child should treat their parents the way. Tia has been treating me- you too, but you aren't her parent. If I can let it go when she came from my body, I carried her all those months, and you just waltzed right in and played daddy, then you should too."

"I feel like you are dismissing my role," I told her. "Something you always seem to do. My daughter- our daughter viewed me as her dad since she was a teenager. She may not have called me dad until she was an adult, but for the most part, she's my daughter and I'm her dad."

"Well, you must've forgotten that you told me she called you Darryl the last time y'all spoke. That's what she thinks of you. She doesn't appreciate shit nobody does for her ass. Leave her the hell alone. She doesn't need us and vice versa. She's all up under that nigga though."

"My daughter- our daughter viewed me as her dad since she was a teenager. She may not have called me dad until she was an adult, but for the most part, she's my daughter and I'm her dad," I replied.

"You are delusional to think that she thinks of you- you know what? She doesn't even think of either of us because she hasn't called, so I don't even know why she's the topic of discussion," she finished. "Everything was okay, then you brought her up, ruinin' my mood."

"You brought her up with your sisters, then with me over and over again. I just wanted to change the subject to a more positive one."

"Positive? Ain't shit positive about that girl. SHE wasn't nothin' but negative and disrespectful to me, you, her brother, and that nigga that she be all up under family. That's why they don't even like her ass," she laughed. "The Bible says: Honor thy mother and father. Does she? Hell no! It is what it is."

"Um, so have you spoken to Yasir lately?" I asked my wife.

"No, I haven't spoken to him since we landed on U.S. soil last month," she condescendingly spoke while tilting her head at me.

"Why do you think that is?" I asked her, knowing the answer.

"He's busy," she replied in an obvious tone.

"Busy doing what?" I asked her. "I'm sure he still ain't workin'. He doesn't call either, but you STILL call him. Effort is still there for someone who clearly doesn't give a fuck about you."

"Yasir, MY SON, doesn't disrespect me like THAT GIRL does. That's a huge difference. I will not speak to any child that came from me that disrespects me every chance they get," my wife laughed. "Who the fuck do you think I am?"

"Who are you?" I asked her. "I'm for real, who are you?"

"What do you mean? I'm me, the same person I was when we met," she frowned at me. "Was I supposed to change?"

"We are all supposed to change, especially for the BETTER. No one is supposed to remain the exact same throughout the years," I told her. "NOBODY."

"I feel like I don't need to change. I'm fine as I am. I'm a good person, mother, wife, sister, daughter- it's all in me. I like to think I do a damn good job at that," she replied.

"I think we need counseling," I told her before getting up and walking out of the room.

"Hol' on!" She yelled out, marching behind me. "What does that mean?" She asked with concern.

I turned around to face my wife. "It feels as if we're growing apart. We have different views on just about everything," I shook my head. "I want to go to counseling before I feel the need to take it a couple of steps forward."

"A couple of steps forw- so you want a divo-"

"See? You don't listen. I said I wanted to TRY to fix things with counseling so we don't have to take things that far. I want to work things out," I finished.

"Ain't nothin' to work out. All we ever do is argue about is Tia. Why do you feel the need to pay to tell a complete stranger our business? I never understood people doin' that."

"That ain't ALL we ever argue about. There's a lot more to it than one or two people. It's about us. See? You ain't even hearin' what I'm sayin'," my face scrunched up in irritation.

"I heard you, but what you tellin' me ain't makin' sense to me," she shook her head.

"Then you act as if getting help where I know there is a problem is so bad when you tell all your business to your sisters. I can tell you something personal, then you go and tell them. You even tell your nieces the things that happen in our marriage and lives and they look at me like I'm such a bad dude when it was a simple argument. Then they come up with their conclusions addin' shit that hasn't happened or will never happen."

I continued speaking, "when they come to you about it, it gets into your head when it happens and you accuse me of things that I don't even do. When I'm away, I'm workin' and my paycheck shows JUST that," I stopped to catch my breath. "You even told them about Tia, our daughter, bein' molested as a kid. You don't take SHIT seriously, but act hurt because she didn't tell you, and was more upset when it was revealed to you via Yasir."

I kept speaking, "they don't believe her or pretend like it because they participated, knew in some way, or- AND take up for the person and people that did it. It's mind-boggling that every woman or almost every woman or girl in that family has been victimized and felt a way when they weren't believed or when the situation was swept under the rug. You felt betrayed when I didn't tell you, but told everyone else when you were told when she asked you not to. You brought that shit up in front of strangers and wonder WHY she doesn't "RESPECT" you. If I was our daughter, I wouldn't talk to YOU or their negative asses either."

I chuckled. "None of you live shit down. At least she made the decision to walk away instead of bein' caught up in all this. For a while, things will seem fine, but they bring it up again and say she's lyin'. You don't even take up for her or anything, ESPECIALLY when it's up against Yasir. They- YOUR FAMILY disrespects you every time you speak to them, but you continuously call them. Sometimes you wait for a few days, but things always return to how they were. No matter what Yasir does, and he's disrespectful as hell, you don't bat an eye. You take that shit. All I hear are excuses, so yes. There's a lot wrong in this marriage and THIS is what it's supposed to be family. We need counseling. I feel like my feelings are always placed on the back burner," I finished. "I'm TIRED."

Throughout my rant, she tried intervening. That is something she always does. My wife hears what she wants to hear and only to responds. She never thoroughly listens to me, so I know so much of what I said went over her head.

"Even now, you decide to bring her up. Is she part of our marriage?" La'Zardia questioned. "You must want her to join or somethin' because she is always on your DAMN mind!"

"I'm pointing out the problems I have with you. I added her situation to make some points. I think I need some space from you," I shook my head with a sigh. "I'm going to check into a hotel because I need space away," I began heading to my bedroom.

"Do you have someone else?" My wife asked me. "It's like... You started an argument by bringin' Tia into this shit and you know we ain't on good terms. She ain't even on good terms with you."

"You never listen. Why would you say some shit like that?" I asked her only slightly raising my voice, feeling hurt by her words. "I look at her like a daughter because that's what she is and I don't care what you or anybody say. That's sick as fuck to insinuate some shit like that," I grabbed a suitcase and started packing up some clothes, making sure not to forget my work clothes.

"So you leavin'?" She let out a deep sigh.

"I told you time and time again that there's nobody else, but you can't seem to get that through your thick skull," I said, still packing. "Than accuse me of being ATTRACTED to our daughter?"

"If you wanted a reason to leave, then you should have done that. Not make excuses."

I remained silent because I was getting nowhere in this conversation. Zipping my suitcase up, I grabbed my keys and walked away. Taking the car means nothing because my wife doesn't drive. She's never owned a license. I'm the one who takes her where she needs to go. Yasir and Tia would too, but they aren't around. Yasir has no reason to not speak to his mother by the way she takes up for him all the time when he's in the wrong. However, I'm glad I haven't seen his face.

"How am I supposed to get what we need for the house?"

"Cabs are a thing. You have my card. Charge it," I told her standing at the front door before walking out of the house. "You don't drive, so I won't leave the car here. I need to get to and from work."

I'm sick of this shit! I have never thought of or attempted to step out on my wife. People flirt, but that's nothing I can control. However, I can shut shit down and that's what I do. I've been a cheater in the past, but never with my wife. Doing exactly what I said I'd do, I checked into a cheap hotel. I won't be here much anyway because I'll be working.

"I want to check into a one-bedroom room for-" I paused to think about it, "a week," I nodded in confirmation to myself.

If I need more time, then I'll add on accordingly. Shit, maybe I'll change hotels if I decide I don't like this one by then, and still not ready to go home. I was handed a key and I went straight to my hotel room. With my hands on my head, I plopped down on my bed. I really want to work things out with my wife. Though there are many problems, I don't want to just walk away. I have this thought at the front and back of my mind that we'll work things out.

~DeVanté's P.O.V~

"No time limits?" I asked my fiancée.

"None, we have time and we don't know our way around this store. Just get fi- seven items and get out. We give our bags to our security and we're on our way," Tia replied.

"When you're done, call me and vice versa, so we're both well informed where the other is located," I told her before getting out of the car. "Make sure you watch after my lady."

"It's my job, I know what I'm doing," Redd replied to me.

"We all slack on the job sometimes," I told him, grabbing my lady's hand as she stepped out of the car. "You really should have dressed down just a little bit so people won't know who you are."

"This is how I leave my house if I'm going most places other than straight to your house," Tia replied and I closed the door.

"You look nice though," I complimented.

"Thanks, so do you," she replied.

We walked into the store with our security, grabbed a buggy, and eventually parted ways. I looked around for a while then eventually began to pick up things. My first item was sardines. The next items were anchovies, durian fruit, pickled century eggs, and eel. I also picked up some Vegemite and bread to go with it. I've never had it, but I know people that have tried it.

That's only six items, but seven if I count bread that she's already tried. I would get sushi, but getting sushi from a supermarket isn't that great of an idea. She may get sick from the things I've already chosen, but that is because this lady has a weak stomach. Then again, she may shock me and like some of this stuff.

As a child, I've eaten sardines and anchovies, but that shit made me puke my guts out. I don't know how my grandparents and parents like that nasty shit. Everything else I chose are things I've never tried and some I've never even heard of. Tia and I ran into each other once and I'm sure she saw what's in my cart. However, I didn't even get the chance to peek inside her cart because she was so quick to leave. When I was done, I called my fiancée, left the store to sit in the car, then called her to tell her I was outside.

"I- uh, I saw you in the fruit aisle," I told her. "I was trying to figure out what my lady was doin' in the fruit baskets. It was unbelievable."

Tia popped her mouth, "always trying to be funny. That's why I mentioned E.T. earlier," she said laughing.

"Mm, okay. I love you and I'll see you when you get out here," I told her.

"I love you," Tia replied. "You hang up. No, you hang up. No, You hang up. You hang up first, babe," she said in different voices and I started cracking the hell up.

"I bet those around you are thinking you're insane," I said still laughing.

"You might be right," she giggled. "See you in a bit," then she hung up the phone.

I put my fist on my forehead, laughing and shaking my head. I had them cut the radio on and I sat back just listening to some new jams. There is so much trash music playing and I'm sick of it.

"Can you put in the cassette tape? I don't want to hear no damn Bling Bling or whatever the hell these niggas sayin'," I shook my head. "I can't take this shit no more."

"I was wondering when you was gon' say somethin'. This shit is complete garbage. How the hell did it get airtime?" Creed asked me.

"Beats the hell out of me, but I do recall older folks sayin' that about our music, so I get it. I definitely understand how the hell they feel now," I told him laughing.

The fact that I'll have to adapt to this mess is making me feel discontent. I don't want to listen to this shit, but it is easy to make some bullshit music like this. You can continuously release tracks like the one that was playing on the radio. However, I will still continue to release what I feel is real music as well. It just won't bring as much money in as some of the popular music.

There are still some great artists and new ones, but I couldn't take that shit. I have to because music is my bread and butter. After a while, I might just stick to my other musical occupations. My phone rang again, not looking at the ID, I picked up on the second ring.

"Hello?" I spoke into the phone.

"Hello? Junior?" I heard DJ'd tiny voice through the speaker.

"Yeah, it's me," I replied. "What you doin' calling me? How do you know my number?"

"Do you know how old I'm is?" DJ asked me.

"You always seem to remind me, so I think I know how old you are, boy," I chuckled. "What's up? What's goin' on?"

"Mooked and sisby," DJ replied.

"Say what?" I asked him, laughing. "Booked and busy, you mean?" I asked him, finally understanding what this child meant to say.

"Yeah, that!" He replied.

"Booked and busy doin' what? You ain't got no job, man," I reminded him. "Little Tommy."

"How you know?" He asked me.

"How I kn- boy, what'd you call me for? You need me for somethin'?"

"Don't get smart with me. I will whoop your tail," he warned me.

My head jerked back. "You and what army?" I asked him. "You can't even reach my knees."

"Belts are str- straight- that belt can though," he replied to me.

"Do momma and pops know you playin' on the phone?" I asked him.

"Never mind that. Old people can't hear," he told me.

"Oh, wow! Who told you that?" I asked him.

"Grampa told me to speak louder because he's old," he told me. "Momma and pops old too, Junior."

I heard dialing and pulled my phone away from my ear to make sure I wasn't pressing any buttons. Then I heard pops voice.

"Who on this phone?" Pops spoke aloud.

I heard the other phone fall or something, then the putter patter of feet. DJ is running away, scared.

"It's me, pops," I finally answered.

"Boy, I was about to call somebody. What you call for?" He asked me.

"I just called to see how everyone was doing," I told him. "So how's everyone?"

"We are just fine. How about yourself?" Pops asked me.

"I'm fine."

"Who is that?" I heard DJ asked them in the background.

Is DJ really playing as if he doesn't know I'm on the other end? Wow!

"Junior," pops replied.

"Hi, Junior!" He shouted.

"Hi," I chuckled.

"What in the world?" I heard my mother's voice.

"Mary?" Pops asked. "I thought you were home with us. How you get wherever Junior is?"

"I'm on the other phone in our home. Someone left it hanging off the hook," my mother replied to pops.

"Boy!" Pops shouted and I heard a small scream and the pitter patter of DJ's feet. Pops hung up the phone.

"How's my eldest son?" My mother asked me.

"Um, I've been fine. Mostly just working though," I replied.

"Where are you now?"

"I'm in California at the moment. There was an awards show and I'm here with Tia for her birthday vacation," I told her. "She was nominated and won some awards. Some of my artists won as well, so that was nice."

"Where in California?"

"Malibu, but we were in Pasadena for the Awards show," I replied.

"So this is a collect call?" She asked me.

"No, no, no. I'm callin' from my cell. Can you please tell pops DJ just answered the phone because apparently, y'all couldn't hear it ring?" I asked my mother.

"I'm sure it didn't ring," she told me. "I definitely would've heard it."

"It did. I hope he ain't in trouble?" I asked her.

"Oh, he's alright. He needs a little tough love. I'm sure he won't get beat," she replied.

(For those who DON'T know, MANY people use beat and whipping interchangeably.)

"Oh- oh, okay. Well, I'll talk to y'all another time. I'm glad to hear from y'all," I told her.

"You too. Take care," she replied.

"You too. I lo-" I heard the phone hand up. "I love y'all," I finished even though she had already hung up. "What the hell?" I whispered to myself upon seeing my fiancée walking towards the car while Jax carried a whole bunch of bags.

Who would've thought? Tia's cheap ass buying more than needed. I got out of the car.

"What's all this?" I asked her.

"The seven foods you probably haven't tried," Tia replied as she handed a bag to my security.

"And?" I asked her.

"Just food I want to try, but haven't. Then I have snacks for TT's babies when I see them," she smiled. "It's my mission to see them before we go."

"No wonder it took you so long. I spoke to both of my parents and my baby brother," I laughed.

"I know that I took such a long time and I apologize. I expected you to be in there longer. I tried to hurry when I found out you left, but it still took a while," she told me.

"It did, but it's all good," I told her, then she got into the car with me following behind her. "I needed to speak to them anyways and it was kind of a brief conversation."

When we settled into the rental again, Tia took out her items first.

"I think you'll like so much of what I picked," she told me.

"It's the opposite for you. Your ass don't like shit," I told her taking out my items.

"You haven't tried hog head cheese, pâté, or pickled pig feet, have you?" She asked me.

"Tia, you know good and well that I ain't had that nasty mess," I told her.

I strapped myself in, closing the door behind me. Then our security entered the car, closing their doors. We eventually made it back to the rental.

"Should we unbag everything one by one, leaving the other in suspense, OR just unbag everything?" Tia asked me, twisting her mouth.

"I want to know everything that'll be goin' into my mouth before it goes, but I want to leave you in suspense," I chuckled. "Suspense sounds better."

"Okay," Tia shrugged her shoulders with her bottom lip poking out.

"Plus, you already told me a few things you got me. I'm disgusted, but let's try it," I told her.

"Uhn uhnnn, you and you alone are trying what I picked out for you," she replied.

"Okay..." I chuckled. "Bring out the pickled pigs feet," I spoke then gagged at the thought.

Tia pulled out the jar with a huge smile spread across her face and tried to open the jar. She huffed, giving up, then slid the jar over to me.

"Handle my lightweight."

"If it was lightweight, I wouldn't have had to open it, huh?" I told her popping open the jar. "Gahhh-DAMN!"

"What?" Tia asked, covering her nose with her top.

"You smell that mess, so don't even pretend," I laughed.

"I didn't smell anything just yet, but you know the smell of pork grosses and gags me out," she raised her eyebrow.

"It's not the smell of pork, the vinegar just caught me off guard. Strong as fuck," I told her, then looked in the jar. "I can't believe you really got your man some pickled pig feet," I slowly shook my head, then grabbed the top. "Maybe we should do this another time or day."

Tia snatched the top, "nope. You, Donald Earle DeGrate Junior, have agreed to do this challenge with Tia, so eat away."

"All this shit is about to have the both of our stomachs fucked all the way up. I'm sure all of this shit won't mix well," I told her. "Tomorrow is your birthday..." I trailed off.

"Wow! It is! I'm so unaware of that," she started off with excitement but ended off unamused and dull.

I grumbled lowly, "alright, you little smart ass." I laughed and so did she. Upon looking at the jar, my stomach made a noise as if it was already rejecting the food item. "Can I get a kiss? Why? Because after I eat this, you ain't gon' want to come near my ass."

Tia raised her eyebrows at me with her hand on her chest, "oh, so I'm the booty warrior?" She seemed so serious with that stupid ass question that I couldn't help but crack the hell up. "This mess is going to tear that behind up!"

"What the fuck? Oh, my God," I said laughing while closing the jar again.

"Alright. Alright. Alright," she chuckled. "Let's get this thing started."

"Ladies first," I said pulling out an item out of my bag. "Wait," I paused.

"What is it now, DeGrate?" She smirked. "Scared?"

"Bring your beautiful ass over here," I grabbed her wrist from across the island top. I let go, so she'd be able to come to my side of the large island. "Why are you afraid? What are you afraid of?"

"I'm afraid for what's about to be in my mouth," Tia exhaled.

"Mmm, interesting... Choice of words," I chuckled. "Calm down. It was your idea in the first place."

Tia took a seat on my lap, "I know and I'm regretting every bit of this little idea," she replied.

"Possibly with big ass consequences," I told her with a small chuckle. "We'll be fine- after we throw all this shit up- or YOU because you don't like shit."

"I don't throw up, I just gag."

"Famous last words..." I pulled her face closer to mine.

When Tia, herself, moved close enough, I stuck my tongue out, but not fully. My tongue touched her lips, but she proceeded, to wrap her lips around my tongue. Her lips glided tightly around my tongue, bringing it more into her mouth. She moved back with my tongue in her mouth, before moving forward again, whilst the tip of her tongue swirled around the tip of my tongue. Tia then pressed her lips to mine as our tongues began to slowly wrestle. Tia is the one who broke our kiss.

"Are you okay?" She asked me, then chuckled. "Your heart is racing.x

"I'm fine," I exhaled. "But what was that? A kiss or..?"

"Oral sex," she joked, standing up in front of me, and rubbing my jaws. Tia then went back to her seat. "Ready, DeGrate?"

"I guess we could start this," I replied, turning towards the island.

"The pig feet," she motioned.

"Ladies first," I pulled out the sardines and crackers.

"Okay. Ladies first, cowards last, I guess," she shrugged with a small chuckle. "I'm joking. Slide it on over to me, sir."

I picked up my bags and moved my stoop to the side of the Tia. We still aren't on the same side, but closer. I opened the can of sardines and handed it to her.

"This is going to be extremely salty. I hate canned fish," she shook her head. "Hold up, let me get some water."

I pushed her water jug in her direction, "here you go. Drink up, gagger."

Tia put her tongue in her cheek, "what you do?"

"Huh?" I leaned forward. "What you mean?"

"I gag and you..?" She raised her eyebrows.

"I clean shit up, so I guess I'm a swallower."

"Oh, okay," then her eyebrows furrowed. "Babe?" She wined. "Do I really have to eat this?"

"Yeah. This entire thing was your idea. I have to eat the pig feet, right? I think it's equally fair. You ain't got to eat a lot just a small amount."

"Cool," she picked it up, and stared at it before putting a good amount on a crack and putting the entire thing in her mouth. A forced smile showed on her face. I watched her chew it and swallow it with her eyes closed. "Disgusting. Go ahead DeGrate... Eat up," she moved the pig feet closer to me.

"Mmm, looks... Appetizing!" I forced out happily with my eyes widening at the end of my sentence.

"It does," Tia agreed, matching my energy.

"Then you should try it with me," I told her.

"Mm," Tia wagged her finger at me. "I'm on a diet," she smiled. "Thanks."

Chuckling, I grabbed the can, bracing myself. I opened it again and the aroma of vinegar filled my nostrils. Grabbing a fork, I stuck it in the jar, pulling out a pig's foot.

"My God, that shit looks gelatinous as fuck. Yuck!" I shook my head.

"It's a pig. What'd you expect from an animal that creates gelatin?"

I bit a piece off of the foot and did a little chewing because it didn't need it much. I swallowed it though.

"Mmm, the best thing I've had since my mother's cookin'," I forced a smile.

"That had, huh?" Tia chuckled.

"Definitely. That texture is just not it. I eat jello, but nothing very often. This shit is worse," I chuckled. "Anywho, my next item for you is related to your previous one."

"So it's another canned fish?" Tia asked me.

"Anchovies," I did an evil laugh. "Which you are goin' to love!" I laughed for this time and so hard that my eyes watered.

My fiancée stared at me blankly which made me laugh even harder with a wheeze. I paused to pop open the can and put it up to her nose. Tia gagged so hard that I thought she'd throw up everywhere.

"I- I quit," she spoke through a coughing fit. "Greasy mess. THAT will have my stomach in knots and bubbling immediately after."

"Your mother ain't raise no what?" I asked her with my hand to my ear. "Speak up, dear."

"I guess she did," Tia shrugged with a smile, now standing up. "Listen, that'll definitely add up to my calories and tomorrow, I'm trying to look good. We should finish THIS-" she motioned toward the items in and outside of the bag, "another time."

"In the meantime, we could finish the game we never finished last night," I squinted.

"Mm, I guess we could," she nodded in agreement. "Let me get the house ready first though."

"Yeah, same for me. Let me get comfortable and we can do- play the card game," I stood up.

"Wait," Tia turned to me again, "I don't know because you may get upset at other answers."

"I told you, I'm not even upset at the other response. It'll be fine. You know what though?" I squinted at my fiancée.

"No, I have no idea. Please do tell," Tia replied.

"This game will take a long ass time to finish and we could finish this on our honeymoon," I told her. "I think it'll be pretty fun and it'll kill time."

"We'll see when the time comes," Tia chuckled. "Let me help you put all this away."

"Nah, I got it, babe. You can go take your sweet time getting unready while I do this and other things," I replied.

I know she'll take a long ass time to get undressed and cleaned up. That's fine because she's taking her time for her hygiene. All of these years I have never smelled any foul odor unless it was gas or something pertaining to that.

"I also don't want you to look at the items I have for you," Tia replied coming back my way.

"I promise you that I could care less about that right now. I'm not going to look in those bags. That is unless something goes in the fridge. Nothin' goes in the fridge, right?" I asked her.

She looked at the ceiling in thought, "as a matter of fact, yes. You'll see it anyway whenever you look inside of the fridge," Tia replied. "With that being said, I'll listen to you and skedaddle," Tia told me walking out of the kitchen.

After she left, I continued on to what I was doing which was putting things away. Life has been so peaceful since Tia's family has been out of the picture. I don't expect her to never speak to them again because that is her family. It's a respect thing. Until they learn to respect her, whenever that is and Tia feels up to it, she'll speak to them.

My parents ask about my fiancée and I think they're FAKE starting to accept her. I know my parents and it's not authentic, but it's a start. However, a start isn't good enough for me. I'm not even going to bring her around them until they can learn to respect Tia. She's nothing but nice and respectful to them and they should do the same. I don't speak to them much, but that's because of the relationship I have with them. The same goes for Tia and her family. It has nothing to do with me, her lack of speaking to them is strictly due to their relationship.

Eventually, I grabbed some clothes from my suitcase and went to another bathroom to shower while Tia was in the bathroom of the master bedroom. When I was done with my hygienic routine, I grabbed and placed the cards and other games on the nightstand, but some fell out of the box that was left open. I knew I should've closed them! I reached under the bed to grab them but pulled something in my back and shoulder area.

After grabbing the cards from under the bed, I got myself up with a small struggle due to my injury.

"Shit, I'm gettin' old," I mumbled to myself, putting the cards on the table, then laying down.

I exhaled deeply once I was relaxed.

"Oh, my goodness. I feel amazing," Tia told me, sitting down on top of me and placing her hands on my chest. "I've been feeling so good lately," she smiled. "Are you fine?"

I licked my lips, "do you see me? I'm fine as fuck," I told her.

Tia grabbed my chin, analyzing my face and rotating my chin. "Mm, you a'ight!" She waved her hand at me in dismissal, then leaned in with a giggle. I sat up with some

"You are fine, but you know what I meant. How are you? You look a little in pain."

"I am. I'm gettin' old. I done pulled something in my shoulder and back," I shook my head.

"Strip and turn over," Tia said removing her legs from my sides one by one, before getting up.

"Strip? Turn over?" I asked her while following her with my eyes as she walked towards the closet. "For what?"

She went inside and came out with her massage gun. "Strip and turn over," she repeated, walking towards me and stopping at my knees.

I grabbed it, turning it on with a small chuckle. "Remember the last time we used this? That was like two weeks ago," I reminded her.

Her eyes popped out of her head. "Oh, my God." She squeezed her eyes shut.

"That's almost all your ass was sayin'," I said laughing and turning it off.

Tia finally opened her eyes, "what about last time when I used it on you?" She hollowed out her jaws, twisting her lips to the side. "Yeah..."

"Oh, you gettin' bold, I see..." I trailed off, then squinted. "I remember," I took my shirt off and sat it on the bed.

"Who were you calling out to and for?" Tia questioned.

"Mm, that's a good question," I nodded, then turned over, moving further up the bed. "We could play as you do this."

Tia grabbed them, then climbed into my legs. "Is it okay if I sit on your butt or does that hurt and need a massage too?"

Lifting myself up with my injured side, I turned to her. "Do I look like a nigga who wants his ass massaged? Especially with something that vibrates."

Tia gave a small smile, "no, but-" she exhaled. "Okay! Relax, it was just a joke. I'm sorry. Turn back around. Relax, babe."

I turned around, "alright. Apology accepted. I just don't play about that type of shit."

"Good. Now let me work my magic on this body of yours," Tia told me.

"More like the machine," I told her with a chuckle.

"I'm starting off with my hands, then finish you off with my MACHINE. Why the hell did you call it that?" Tia asked me now laughing.

"It IS a machine, love," I told her. "Just a small one."

"You're right, you're getting pretty old there buds," Tia exhaled, patting my shoulder. "That's something only an old person would say."

I turned my head to face her, "you're with an old ass man. How does it feel, Tia?"

"Mm, I've been with older, so everything feels- shall I say, normal?" She raised her eyebrows.

"Damn, he WAS like twenty years your senior. Your pops age and shit," I said laughing.

"He was only eight years older. I don't go that damn old," she rolled her eyes with a smile. "Turn your behind back around."

"Who told you that you could be grown with all that damn cursing?" I asked her relaxing.

"Do the cards, DeGrate," Tia told me.

"Damn, you've become so demandin'," I told her while laughing.

"You still up for the game or you gon' quit this too?" I asked her with a small chuckle.

"Mm, it strictly depends on how things go," she replied.

"Alright, then we'll see how this shit goes," I nodded.

"Can I mix and hand out the cards this time? Actually, I'll do the cards, I forgot your old behind done pulled a few muscles," she put her arm on her shoulder with her open hand near my face. I handed the cards to her before laying on the pillow again. "Thanks. Luckily, I haven't lubed up my hands."

"Must you use the word lube?"

"I must," Tia replied. "I'm a bit apprehensive," Tia spoke while mixing the cards.

"Babe, for what? It's just a game," I shrugged.

"There are demands and questions, Donald," Tia said handing out the cards.

"That should be fine and if you're still uncomfortable with those things, then don't do it. Simple," I shrugged. "It is what it is. There's no written rule that says you have to do things and even if it was you ain't got to."

"I know it's just- I don't even know, but you go first," Tia said sitting the remainder of the cards on the nightstand.

"We're only doing five cards, huh?" I asked her picking up one of my cards.

"We didn't even finish the ones we had last night, so yes," she nodded.

"Okay," I tucked my bottom lip in my mouth. "What's the freakiest thing you've done alone?"

"Dang, it's straight out of the gate nasty. The-" she giggled, "I'm not freaky, so the freakiest thing I've done with myself is foreplay before masturbation. That's all." She's delusional as fuck!

"Mine is basically what I said last night about the panties situation. I would sometimes use them as- you know."

"Mm, yesterday you were bold. What happened?" She laughed. "I know though because you explained it all perfectly yesterday. My question says from a one to ten, what is your sex drive?"

"Te- nine," I corrected myself. "I have a high sex drive, but it ain't that damn high. It just depends. Sometimes it's as low as the infamous six you gave me last night." I spoke and I know for sure Tia rolled her eyes. "I think about it more since I'm abstaining from sex and I'm with a woman whom I love that I know I can't be intimate in the way I want."

"I feel as if you're always on the go. I could accidentally rub against the engine and the entire car gets started."

"I mean, it's the engine after all," I said laughing. "What am I supposed to do?"

"No, it's completely fine with me. My sex drive depends on how I mentally feel."

"When you're ovulating, you become horny as fuck, multiple times a day. Too bad you aren't in that phase," I replied.

"I could be just as frisky when I'm not ovulating if I'm doing fine mentally. I'd say that I'm feeling great and have been for a long time. You know what I'm saying?"

I tucked my lips into my mouth, "I have an idea."

"Go ahead with your question," she said continuing to massage me.

"Mine says make up a question. My made-up question would be, why don't you finger yourself?" I asked her because I've never seen her do it herself and when I ask, she doesn't.

Tia's hands stopped massaging my back. "That has something to do with the trauma that occurred during my childhood. It's dark." She then turned on the theragun and placed it on my back.

The theragun felt great on my back as she hit the right spots, but I turned over on pain and all. Tia just moved it up to my shoulder. I grabbed one of her hands and part of what I was able to grab of her other hand holding the theragun. She turned it off and I grabbed it and put it beside me.

"I'm sorry for bringing- that up," I told her. "I apologize and should've known," I kissed her knuckles.

"No, it was a simple question that you thought wouldn't end with my response. You're fine. The other reason is because I just can't get inside myself. I can't open up whenever I try," she chuckled. "Maybe it relates to my first response. Mm-mm, who knows?" She laughed, "you're fine, babe." Tia leaned down and pecked my lips twice, before sitting up again.

"Possibly, but you close up on me too, so I don't know..." I trailed off.

"Like I said, who knows?" She shrugged, "my question says, what was your weirdest sexual experience?"

"First of all, this has nothing to do with me. The weirdest shit I've experienced that has to do with sex is people havin' sex in front of me. That shit was crazy and it was hard to not look away because I was so shocked. Who the fuck does this shit was my thought process at the time. That's when I was nineteen and new to the industry without pops," I told her. "That type of shit would happen all of the time at these parties."

Tia got off of me. "That's messed up and sounds like trauma."

"Nah, I don't think of it like that. I mean-" I stopped because I was almost speechless. "It was traumatic watching people who didn't consent when I saw that shit happening. It's not like I stayed. I just couldn't... I already can't do shit about it."

"That's exactly what it is. These people had sex in front of y'all without any of your consent. That sounds traumatizing. That's a live porno that was forced upon y'all. I'm sure all of y'all were there?"

"We were," I nodded. "But I'm not too sure about that trauma part. I am speechless this very day. Not just that, but sometimes-" I deeply exhaled, "seems like some were forced- they were or unaware due to inebriation. The same thing."

"That is exactly why I don't attend parties anymore. While I know about movie stars, directors, etc. partake in these types of sexual activities, it's more- I'm starting to feel queasy over this topic- it's more likely that music and fashion industry people would. I was invited plenty of times and went twice," her head shook from side to side. "Ooh, my stomach hurts," Tia stood up with one hand on her stomach and one hand on her forehead. "I- I'll be back," and she walked out of the bedroom and into the bathroom.

This game took another turn, but what I said was true. I just don't think of any of that like it was trauma. It's just something that happened. I saw that shit a little too much throughout these ten years. I sat up in the bed.

"Babe?" I called out before throwing my legs to one side of the bed. Standing up, I began walking towards the bathroom and knocked on the door. "You okay?" I asked her.

Tia opened the door, "no." Her tone of voice was dead. "I don't know. I'm not in the right mindset to play that game. I know I keep quitting, but-" she cut herself off, not even finishing her statement.

"I get it."

"Are YOU okay?" Tia asked me. "That's some sick stuff and I feel sick," she walked over to the bed and laid down.

"I'm cool, I guess," I shrugged my shoulders. "It just seemed like a normal thing. I do realize that what was happening was unethical and morally wrong, but there wasn't anything I could do. I'm almost as powerless now as I was then. There are too many powerful ass people for me to do anything. You'd be surprised about the people that participated and still are participating in shit like that."

Tia shot up on the bed. "Don't take this the wrong way, but have you ever participated?"

"Hell nah," I shook my head from side to side. "I wasn't forced to watch that shit either. It was something that just happened and my morals wouldn't let me stay. There were gang members involved and law enforcement was involved with the gang members. Cops would be called because of the loud noise and the neighbors ain't want to hear that shit, but they'd party too. All buddy buddy with them folks. I'm not a victim because that shit ain't happened to me, just in front of me and others."

I continued, "that's who I feel for and it's a lot of them. Not just men to women, but men with men too. Sick shit. I still see those same women around too hanging with the same people. The ones who did tell, there was an example made out of them. I don't have nightmares about that shit though, but I do think about that shit from time to time."

"Babe, you don't understand trauma. Though it didn't happen to you, you did feel helpless in situations that were fucked up," she told me. "You're confusing PTSD with trauma. Sure, trauma can lead to PTSD, but not always. They aren't the same. This is trauma."

"You may be right," I told her, plopping down on the bed. "You know more about it than I do. Anyway, I want to change the subject. That shit is depressing to talk about and I know I'm the one who brought it up, but I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"Just one more thing on the topic. Please, hear me out?" Tia's eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"Yes," I gestured.

"Can you- just maybe consider speaking to a professional about this?" Tia asked me. "I know you're in therapy already, but still..."

My eyes darted around, before landing on her. "Maybe, but a therapist needs to know details on things to give advice. Babe, there are GOONS, law enforcement, doctors, and more in on this. You know this because you did see a few things for yourself."

"I did witness one situation, but for them to be so bold taught me what I needed to know. What u saw was consensual, but I was shocked. Other rooms at that party were doin' other stuff and that's what I heard. It taught me that it wasn't the first time or the only time this would happen. I never went back around those folks," Tia told me. "I didn't want it to be me next. However, you don't have to tell things in deep detail. I don't all the time and you know I've been with Mrs. Johnson for some years."

"They're taught to read between the lines. They went to school for psychology, T," I replied. "Like I said, they know folks. I do too, but I don't hang around them niggas like that or didn't fall out. I just don't want to be involved in any type of way. While I can handle my own, it's only one of me versus- I don't know how many people. They can easily turn that shit around."

"Okay, we'll leave it," Tia agreed.

"Have you spoken to anyone else?" I asked her. "I mean other than what we mentioned that one time?"

"No," she shook her head.

"Are you traumatized?" I asked her.

"Not from what I saw, but I am traumatized from what I've heard and whatnot," she told me. "Elijah has been and told me some stories," she shook her head again.

"Don't," I told her. "I am telling you that to protect yourself. Make sure you tell Elijah to mind his business too. It's more than y'all think. Y'all probably only witnessed small tidbits of this mess."

"But- but- God forbids, what if something were to happen to me again? I wouldn't feel the same way. Although, like I said, I haven't witnessed much with my own eyes, but I'd want someone to vouch for me," Tia looked down. "It feels wrong."

"That's because that shit IS wrong. Ain't shit gon' happen to you because you're attached to me and people know that I don't play about me and mine," I told her. "You will be fine. That's why I want you to bring g security with you WHEREVER you go."

"Donald, it doesn't make sense. They know I'm attached to you, but may mess with you if you speak on their behalf?" Tia asked me.

"It doesn't make sense to you, BUT I know these things. Trust me. Certain people know," I chuckled. "There are plenty of women and men like us who want to do the right thing, but simply can't. One person doesn't have enough power to challenge this bullshit. It's a deadly mission."

"And- and I know- I KNOW that it'll be hard to speak on victims' behalf when they aren't coming forward. We'd just be blackballed, broke, and looked at as insane. If something happens to us after that, the public would think the same way. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, but I'm content with what you stated. We have to mind our own business. We've been quiet this far- bit to say it didn't bother me because neither does, but I was and still am dealing with personal baggage," she wiped her eyes with the shirt that she's currently wearing.

"I might as well pack your bags with most of my clothes because it seems to be mostly what you pack," I smiled, changing the subject.

"Mm, maybe," she chuckled, sniffling. "I feel sick and have a headache though, I need to take a nap," she said laying back down.

"You go ahead and get some rest. I need to handle some business," I pointed to the door. "I'm sorry for ruinin' your high like this. I-" I tucked my lips into my mouth. "I'm sorry." I leaned forward, pecking her forehead and then lips. "You don't need me, do you?"

"No. Go handle your business," she replied with a small smile.

"Want me to open the window so you'd sleep better?" I asked her.

"Oh, NOOO," she said laughing. "I had to clean up this morning. The wind had to be blowing mighty hard because there was sand all over this room and this bedroom is upstairs. I'll just turn on the air."

"Alright then. I love you, and have a nice nap," I told her, standing up and walking towards the door.

As I began closing the door behind me, I heard the radio turn on. I fucked up. I definitely shouldn't have brought this type of stuff up because it is triggering to anyone, especially sexual assault victims with PTSD. Not to mention it's the day before her birthday. I feel like a failed future husband. However, I'm still learning. I've never been with a woman who's been open to me about their sexual abuse and mental health. This caused backpedaled symptoms. Anywho, let me make shit happen because when there's a group of people, a few people will be late, and a lot more other things. I need my future wife to enjoy her special day.

Word Count: 9,365

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