This song fits perfectly with this chapter. Listen to it y'all!

Please excuse ANY grammatical errors.

September 30, 1995

~Donald DeGrate Sr. P.O.V~

"Po-pops, I think his girlfriend is dead." Dalvin let out.

I moved the phone away from my face for a second and exhaled. Then I out the phone back up to my ear. "Be strong son. You got this and he's got this. God's got this too." I tried to reassure him that everything was going to be fine. Truth be told, I don't even know myself, but I'm hopeful.

"I can be strong any other time, but right now, I'm just weak. I- I can't this time pops. I can't be strong when my brother is in a coma especially when it's my fault." Dalvin whimpered out loud.

"S-son, you right. Let it- let it all out." My voice cracked, because my emotions are through the roof. I held everything back because I can't let my wife see me weak. "I'll be there as soon as I can. Now hang up." I told Dalvin, waiting for him to hand up.

I just want to make sure that he's okay. I still heard slight whimpers on the other side. Then the phone finally hung up. When he hung up, I finally pressed the end call button and out the phone back on the hook. I turned to my wife who was attempting to to feed our fussy son with a bottle. She had tearing up. She got frustrated and sat him up on the bed and gave him his pacifier.

I exhaled. "Mary, we need to find somebody who can babysit so we can go since DJ don't have a passport."

"What happened?" She asked me with a saddened and worried look on her face.

"Dalvin found Junior in the hotel unconscious, he-" I exhaled trying to keep it together. "He said that Junior is in cardiac arrest. He also said that his girlfriend is most likely dead. Junior is in a coma" I finished explaining with my eyes closed.

"Who's going to watch him? We don't know how long we'll be there." She said standing up and grabbing a bunch of clothes out of the closet and sitting them on the bed. "I hope our son is okay and I can't believe Rolita is dead."

I stood up and then DJ started to cry. I grabbed his bottle and picked him up. After laying him in my arms, I stuck the bottle in his mouth. "I have to call Derek." I said holding the bottle up between my chin and neck to grab the phone again.

I dialed Derek's number and waited for him to answer. I switched the position of the bottle and phone. I put the phone between my shoulder and face while I held the bottle. "Pops?" Derek said groggily from the other end.

"Good morning, son." I told him trying not to alarm him.

"Yeah, Pop's it's early in the morning. You don't even be up this early. Is everything good?" There was a shuffling sound on his end.

"No, son, everything is not okay."

"What's goin' on?" His voice was panicky.

"Calm down." I said in a seemingly calm voice although I was nothing but calm. "Are you calm?" I asked him after a while.

"Yes."

"Junior is in another country and he's in the hospital. Dalvin said it was possibly an overdose. He's in a coma, cardiac arrest. His-"

"Pops!" I heard more shuffling on the other end. "Repeat that!"

"Junior is in the hospital due to cardiac arrest and a possible drug overdose. His girlfriend is dead too. Dalvin said that he saw drugs in the hotel. You mother and I are leaving as soon as we find a babysitter for DJ since don't have a passport." I repeated the first part.

"Alright, let me get my stuff packed! I'm picking you up when I'm done. Be ready!" Derek quickly yelled and then I heard the dial tone.

"You got a hold of anybody yet?" I turned to Mary who was on a cellular device.

"No." She plopped down on the bed in defeat. "We should've been did this!" She cried. "My baby is in the hospital and I-I-I can't get to him. You just go to make sure he's okay. I'll stay here with the baby."

"Are yo-"

"YES, I'M SURE!" Mary yelled out in distress. "Both of us need to be there but only one of us can be there. Keep me updated, PLEASE." She cried out.

He drunk that bottle too fast. I put the bottle on the nightstand and started to burp him. "It's okay and I'll be sure to update you on everything." I reassured her while rubbing in her back and burping DJ with the same hand I held him in.

"I'm not even sure that I'm strong enough to see him in that state. Not my baby, not again." Mary rapidly shook her head. She then grabbed the baby from me and held him.

"Mary, it's going to be okay." I rubbed her back in a single nothing manner.

"Don't promise me that!" She snapped. 

I held my hands up in defense, then stood up to pack me some clothes. "Derek will be here soon to get me." I said throwing things from the drawers and closet into a suitcase. "

"Don't promise me anything. "It'll only make it ten time worse if he don't ge- get-" She started back crying hard again.

I wanted to help soothe her but tears are running down my own face. Where I come from men don't let their women see them cry. Sad? Yes, but not crying. "I-I get where you're coming from but that's all I can do from here." I told her.

She stayed silent and burped the baby. I still continued to pack in a hurry. The phone rang again. "Can you answer that?" I asked my wife.

Mary nodded then answered the phone. "He's leaving now. He'll be out Derek. Keep me updated on everything. I want to KNOW EVERYTHING. You understand me?" She asked Derek. "Okay, bye."

"Derek, right?" I asked Mary.

"Yes," She stood up, following me out of the bedroom. "I love you. Tell my kids that I love them." She spoke to me as I put on my shoes.

"I will, honey." I kissed her and DJ, then I made sure I had enough money and my passport. Then I left the house giving my wife and youngest son another kiss. I didn't have enough money in my pockets sonic had Derek take me to the ATM.

"Keep me updated!" Mary yelled out as I got to the car.

During the whole eight and a half hour flight, my brain was restless, but my body was tired. Not to mention the long wait to board the flight. When we finally landed in London, and finished with baggage claim, Dalvin had their security pick us up. We didn't check into a hotel or anything, Derek and I went straight to the hospital. His security escorted us to the floor and section Junior is staying.

"Pops!" Dalvin yelled, speed walking up to me and Derek.

He gave me a two armed hug. Let me just explain that those type of hugs with my children are not common. We hugged when they were children but not much, it was always me encouraging them to keep going. I'm not that touchy feely. It's usually a one armed hug and and/or a hand slap. It's nothing too personal, that's just how I was raised. My father never hugged me, my mother was the one to hug her children.

"Dalvin, how are you?" I asked hugging him back.

Dalvin pulled away from the hug. "Bad pops, I still ain't got no news about him. I been sittin' here or pacing around and NOTHING." He shook his head at me. "It's been hour and still NOTHING."

"It's gon' be okay baby bro. Look, no news is good news remember?" Derek told Dalvin.

"Nahh, fuck that shit! They betta' tell me  somethin'!" Dalvin said throwing his hands out.

"Watch yo mouth boy." I said lowly.

"I'm sorry pops, but they can't just leave me in the dark about my brother like that!" He said with his hand pointed to the back. Dalvin then took a seat with his face in his hands.

I walked out of the waiting room and up to the reception desk. "I'm looking for information on my son. His name is Donald DeGrate Jr., and he's 26." I told the lady before she was even able to speak.

She looked into the computer to find anything, then she looked back up at me. "Sir, your son is here but I have no information about him. You're his father?" She asked in her thick English tone.

I slightly nodded my head at her. "Yes ma'am."

"I'll check with the doctor and nurses assisting your son and have them check back in with you and his brother." She reassured me.

"When will that happen? My son has been here waiting for about twelve hours for any news. We still don't know what's going on." I said getting angry. I been was mad at the fact that we didn't know much but what Dalvin told us but now I'm showing it.

"Sir, I'm sorry but I can't tell you anything because I don't know anything. I'm just a receptionist. Please wait in the waiting room."

I walked back to the waiting room. "Still nothing. She said that the doctor or nurse will tell us something EVENTUALLY." I said and took a seat. "Son, why don't you get some rest? You look tired."

"Nahh, not 'til I know that my brother is okay." Dalvin said shaking his head at me.

"Dalvin, do what he says. You look horrible. I know that you're worried, and the trust is we all are, but we don't need you in one of those rooms too." Derek explained to Dalvin.

"Derek, I don't f- I don't care." He said closing his eyes tightly.

"Whatever, but you not getting sleep ain't gon' make it no better or them tells us news any faster." Derek shrugged at Dalvin.

"Since you're up, we will pray. Bow your heads." I told them and we grabbed hands. "Heavenly father, I pray that you will comfort my son in his suffering, lend skill to the hands of his healers, and bless the means used for his cure. Give him such confidence in the power of your grace, that even when we are afraid,  we all shall put our whole trust in you; through the Lord and Holy Spirit. Amen."

"Amen." They said in sync.

"Get some rest, I'll still be up. Both of you." I reassured them both. After my boys went to sleep, I stayed up for a while. Then I began to doze off at about an hour and a half in.

"Dalvin, what is goin' on?" I heard someone say which woke me up. It was Cedric.

"Is De good?" Joel asked all of us.

"We don't know, let them rest until we find out." I answered for Dalvin who was now in and out of sleep. Cedric and Joel took a seat besides us and waited in silence.

Another hour passed and a doctor entered the waiting room. We aren't the only people that has been waiting for someone to come because there were a few others in there with us. So I didn't get too excited that the doctor came with news for us.

"Donald DeGrate Jr." The doctor called out.

I jumped up and went up to the doctor. "That's my son, is he alright?" I asked in a hurry to know what was going on.

"Yes sir. I'm doctor Jacobson and your son is now is stable condition. When checking your son's blood, we found high amounts of percocet, oxycodone, and alcohol. We also found cocaine in his system. All of those things is what caused him to go into cardiac arrest. We moved your son hours ago to the Coronary Care Unit on the fourth floor. We will move him to a stable condition unit because his heart is beating at almost a normal pace. He no longer needs to be constantly checked on, but he will need to stay here for a while. It's a good thing that you found your brother in time because cardiac arrest is deadly and if you would've found him a few minutes later." He looked at Dalvin at the last part. "Your son is a performer right?" Dr. Jacobson asked once he turned to me.

"Yes." I nodded.

"I suggest that he gets checked into rehab and to halt performing. He will need rest and rehabilitation. I talked to a doctor in the United States and was told that he was in the hospital sometime in '93. I'll assume that around that time is when his addiction started. He was prescribed those medications then but they stopped some time ago. Sir, do you know how he got to those prescription?" Dr. Jacobson asked me.

"No, I didn't even know he was an addict." I shook my head then turned to my other sons. "What about y'all? Do you have any idea on where he could've gotten it from?"

Dalvin and Derek both looked down at the floor. "Pops-" they said in sync then waited for the other person to talk.

I frowned at them. "Open your mouths. Speak if you know something." I said in a stern voice.

"I found out he was dependant of prescriptions in July. I swear, I was going to tell you, I just didn't know how. I didn't know what to do." Derek explained to me.

"Pops, I think the doctor is right. De turned into a whole new person after that. I think he's been addicted since the accident. His behavior has become erratic and paranoid. I didn't want to acknowledge it until July. As far as the cocaine, I have NEVER heard or saw De do that. He's against that and frown at the thought of people doing it." Dalvin finished.

"Next time y'all find some shit out like this, tell me then. Do you understand?" I said angrily with a stern voice.

"Yes sir." They said together. I turned back to the doctor.

"Oh, sir. The woman who was emitted with Mr. DeGrate was pronounced dead at scene. We tried to revive her but to no avail. She was also two weeks pregnant and the baby passed as well. She passed of a cocaine overdose mixed with alcohol." The doctor frowned. "Do any of you have any information about her? Her name?" He asked.

"Rolita?" I asked Dalvin. Rolita is dead?

"Tia's dead?" Derek asked surprised. "I just talked to her-

"That's my brothers girlfriend and why you keep thinkin' Tia and De together. They was never a thing. Pops Rolita and De's relationship is... Complicated." Dalvin turned away from Derek and me. "Her name is Sherie Yvette Withers and she's twenty-six." Dalvin told the doctor. "Are you sure she's dead?"

"Yes sir. I'm afraid so." He nodded.

"She was pregnant?" I asked shocked and I don't even know who the girl was."

Dalvin put his index finger and thumb to his lips and shook his head. "Damn..." He looked down at the floor. "How we gon' tell De?" He looked back up at us with a frown.

"I don't know..." Derek responded with head shake.

"Okay, your son is on the fourth floor in room 434. The receptionist will show you the way to his room once you make it. The police is doing an investigation since a death occurred in that hotel room so they may ask questions. God bless." The doctor told us then walked away.

"Tia has told me that he has a cabinet full of forged signatures in the cabinet. I just didn't want to say that in front of the doctor. He got addicted around the time of the accident though. Damn, I wish I would've listened and payed more attention." Dalvin shook his head.

"The next time you all know something like this TELL me. I don't care who it is. If they are in this family, I want to know. Now, let's go." I told them and we walked to the elevator with their security. "This don't make sense..." I shook my head with my head to the ceiling.

We made it to our destination and just as the doctor said, we were directed and lead to Junior's room. He was asleep and not dead, I paid close attention to the heart monitor. Derek went over to Junior and stood in front of Junior and then bent down to where he was on his level. Junior opened his eyes.

"Cocaine?" Derek said aloud to himself and shook his head. "I can't believe you man. I SHOULD BEAT YO ASS FOR THAT!" He yelled at Junior.

"Calm down." I told him. "He's gon' feel my wrath as soon as he out this hospital. Oh, yeah. You gon' feel it lil nigga. You comin' back home with me. You're going to eat, sleep, and shit on my command and you WILL be going to rehab and church. Oh, yeah..." I nodded at him. "You gon' be under my roof and don't yo ass think anything will happen without me knowin'! Do I make myself clear!?" Everybody looked at each other  with the same expression. "I SAID, DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR!? I'M NOT GON' ASK YOU AGAIN BOY."

"Yes, sir." Junior nodded at me. "But-"

"No ifs, ands, of buts." I told him. I turned to Dalvin and Derek. "Both of y'all better learn from this shit because you both will get the same treatment." I told my kids. "And you both," I looked at the Hailey brothers, "if I hear anything about y'all I will be notifying your parents. I know y'all parents don't play." I chuckled.

"I swear to y'all that I didn't do no cocaine. Pills? Yes, I did but I don't know how the hell cocaine got in my system." Junior told us. "I didn't do that. I swear to God."

"You swear to who?" I raised my eyebrows at him.

"I'm sorry pops but y'all have got to believe me." Junior told us.

"Why should we believe a crackhead?" Derek asked. "That's why the fuck you was so triggered that day in the basement that day. Nobody even said crackhead, yet you was so triggered." Derek told Junior. "I'm sorry pops but that needed to be said. He's a crackhead and crackheads don't tell the truth."

"Stop callin' me that shit." Junior told him.

"Y'all better stop cursin' in front of my damn face like I'm one of y'all friends!" I said shutting that down quick. "However, Derek is right. Why should we believe a crackhead?" I said to Junior.

"I'm not no crackhead. I promise that it didn't do no cocaine. I was probably just surprised as y'all was when y'all found out. I ain't do that sh- I don't do those types of things." Junior told me.

"You expect us to believe that you don't do coke when you poppin' pills? Get real because that's not too far fetched. Usually people upgrade from one drug to another because the previous stuff ain't gettin' them high now more." Dalvin told his brother.

"You got some nerve to talk about me, you alcoholic." Junior said being shady.

"You a drunk Dalvin?" I asked turning to face him completely.

"No sir. I drink here and there but not too much. I know my limit, sir." Dalvin said then looked at the floor.

"Again, why should I believe a crackhead?" I asked Junior. "DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING WORRIED WE WAS ABOUT YO ASS!? HUH!? YOU GOT YO BROTHER AND MOMMA CRYIN' AND SHIT! YOU GOT ALL OF US WORRIED ABOUT YO DUMB ASS!" I said  letting all my anger out. "I feel like I failed all of you. I did all I could for y'all and this happens." I took a seat to calm myself down because at this point I feel like I need a doctor.

"See, look what you did!" Derek said yelling at Junior.

"Me? All I did was lie here." Junior frowned.

"That's the point, you are here instead of out there doin' what you supposed to be doin'." Dalvin argued.

"I don't need this right now. Where my girl at?" Junior said so nonchalantly. We all looked at each other quietly. "What is wrong with y'all? Y'all not gon' chastised me further? Y'all through?"

"Look De, you don't need this right now. Your girlfriend-" Cedric explained.

Junior squinted his eyes. "Fuck you so afraid to say somethin', say what you need to say."

"Aye boy..." I warned him. "If I gotta say that shit one more time, I'm gon' have to slap you."

Junior nodded at me. "Somebody please tell me what's goin' on with her. Y'all scarin' me man..."

"You're- you're girlfriend is dead." Dalvin said lowly.

"Dead? H-how?" Junior asked lowly.

"Drug overdose." Derek answered for Dalvin.

"Drugs, I knew her for a while and never have I saw her do drugs. Are you sure?" Junior asked again.

"I'm sure. Before I found out about you, I found her unconscious in the bathroom. There was lines of cocaine on the sink. There was blood coming from one nostril and cocaine residue beneath her nose. Then I called out to you a numerous amount of times and you never answered. That's when I knew somethin' was wrong. The police was called and then here they told us she was dead when they arrived to the hotel. She- she umm..." Dalvin stuttered and I know that living out that experience of finding his brother did a little damage. Especially since it's his second time finding him this way. Derek patted Dalvin's shoulder in comfort.

"Whatever else bad news you have, tell me now." Junior stated.

"She was pregnant too." Derek added on.

"Pregnant? So my girlfriend and child died?" Junior shook his head at a rapid pace. "This can't be true. Sh-she was-"

"That's the thing. I don't know much about pregnancy and time limits but I don't know if that baby was yours or not..." Dalvin trailed off. I frowned at him skeptically.

"What are you saying?" I asked Dalvin.

"You slept with her, didn't you?" Junior frowned at Dalvin. "You slept with her didn't you Dalvin!?"

"NO, of course not! I wouldn't do my brother like that. I didn't sleep with her but somebody did..." Dalvin trailed off again.

Junior turned to Joel and Cedric. "One of y'all slept with her." He said in more of a statement than question.

"No, we wouldn't do that De unless we all agreed to." Joel told him.

"Agreed to? The devil is a lie. So y'all practicing satanic rituals, huh?" I jerked my head back.

"Pops..." Derek shook his head at me.

"I'm say long that she is two weeks pregnant and we have been on the road for at least two months now... You haven't seen her in how long now? So, maybe- you do the math. I'm done with bad news. I feel bad that she's dead but I'm glad you okay." Dalvin said and looked elsewhere.

"So y'all tellin' me that MY girlfriend is dead, she lost a baby, AND the baby wasn't MINES? So she cheated on me AND pregnant with somebody else's baby? I don't believe you." Junior shook his head.

"Well you bett' wake up and believe it for what it is. The good thing is that you okay. I never met the woman or knew of her but God bless her soul. You're here for a reason and be happy about that because you could've died." Derek told Junior.

"He's right." Joel told Junior. "You're here and she's not."

"So y'all did cocaine together?" I asked Junior.

"Pops, on EVERYTHING I love, I didn't know she was a drug addict, nor did I do drugs with her. I didn't do no coke. I may have drank and did all the other stuff but I didn't do that." Junior nodded.

"So you said you never did drugs with her but admitted to doing other drugs and drinking a bunch of alcohol with her. You don't make no sense." I told him. "Tell me what happened." I told Junior.

"I got out the shower and she was there in my hotel room. She said Dalvin let's her in. Sherie had bottles of liquor, some was already gone from the each bottle except for one. She told me to drink with her in celebration of my birthday. I declined because I had already drank a bunch earlier. Then I gave in and we both started drinking. After a while I started to feel sleepy and she said that she had to use the bathroom. Little did I know that it was the last time I'd see her." Junior explained to us all.

"How do you feel?" Joel finally spoke.

"Like shit... Conflicted and confused. I don't know what to make of all of this. She cheated, died of an overdose, and lost a baby that wasn't mine when we have been dating for a while." Junior picked at his sheets on the bed.

"That's fine and normal to feel. You on the other hand ain't gon' end up like her 'cause me right along with everybody else. We gon' straighten you right out. No more of this shit you been doin' all this time." I told him.

December 9, 1995

~DeVanté's P.O.V~

As soon as I woke up, I ran into the bathroom and threw up. My parents signed me up for a private rehab program. They wanted me to be in a normal setting with everyday addict but Dalvin, Derek and myself talked them out of it. My parents wanted me to be in a session with everyday people because they want me to stay clean and thought it'd urge me to want to do better. They figured that I'd really want to stay clean if the public knew about it.

I'm trying hard to stay away from pills. It's even harder when you're in a private facility because there are people with money here and are getting things smuggled in. The cold sweats at night, the scratching, itching, and sleepless nights are almost unbearable but it's all part of the process. I feel like a prisoner in my own body. My body still is learning to without what it had been depending on for a couple of years.

Today, I'm officially sixty-fifth days clean. When I arrived to the rehab facility, I didn't want to open up about myself, but they didn't force me to. They said whenever we were ready, feel free to open up. I heard other's people's stories and it's moving. There are some well-known people here. Some of those people have attempted more than fifteen time to get sober.

When I first got back home to my parents house, I had a relapse after only fifty-seven hours of being clean. My parents didn't empty their medicine cabinets and I got ahold of it. I immediately regretted doing it afterwards. I've acted out of character with them because I wanted another fix. I thank God for my parents for not giving up on me after everything. I thank God for my brothers as well. They made sure this didn't get out to the public as well.

I remember the first day that I came home and seeing the disappointed look on my mother's face. I've already looked at so many disappointed faces before then from my brothers, father, and my friends. But just to see that look, a look that I have never seen on my mother's face hurt me deeply. You see, my mother is very sweet and that look is equivalent to my father punching in the face. I mean, he never did that but if that were to happen I'd feel like how I felt on my first day of sobriety.

I'm still conflicted about Sherie. I didn't even go to the funeral simply because I'm in here but also because of what she did. I don't know if I should be sad or angry. I'm confused on everything about her. Her cheating, being pregnant, the baby not being mines, her losing the baby, and her being on drugs. I have no right to throw stones at her being on drugs because of my own drug situation.

However, I am angry at her for putting cocaine in my drink. That's, right, I didn't do no damn cocaine. She and I once spoke about drugs and I revealed to her that I did it as a child once due to peer pressure and never did it again because it made my nose burn and feel weird. Then she put it in the bottles which is why she wanted me to do what she did. I didn't think that when she told me to loosen up, that's what she meant.

I got up from the floor and wiped the vomit off of my lips. This is my sixty-sixth day of being sober but my sixty- third day of being here. I'm on the Ninety Day Rehabilitation Program. It's so easy to say that you want to get sober but actually do it is a hard ass task. I looked at the plaque on the wall that Derek gave me saying it was a gift from someone but didn't say who. It reads:

As humans, we often try to rush into tasks or accomplish goals in a short amount of time, but this approach doesn’t work with addiction recovery. Successfully recovering from addiction requires you to take it one step at a time. A little bit everyday goes a long way. You have made it thus far, so why not go even further on your journey?

"God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and. Wisdom to know the difference." ~Psalm 29:11

From: Back in the days...

To say it's encouraging is to say the least. This right along with everybody and everything else is helping me stay sober. The thing is you have to always live your life in recovery and it's always going to be hard especially with my career. Everyone is basically dibbling and dabbing in all types of drugs.

I have the plaque hanging up in the bathroom because that is where I get the urge to do it most. When I wanted to hide it from people, I'd go inside the bathroom and pop a few pills. My roommate even says that those words on the plaque helps him as well. William who goes by Willy is an older guy. He's fifty-four and is a recovering alcoholic. Willy can't even keep count of how many times he's been in rehab. He lost his family years ago due to his habit. If that were to happen to me, I wouldn't know what to do.

"Time to get up!" I heard Tommy say from the bedroom.

It's about time that we got up anyways. They always send someone into our room about this time to wake us up. I closed the door and got in the shower. I hate being here because i don't like having to share rooms and shit with another man. We have limited time in the shower. There are still drugs being sold here which is tempting. Then we are woken up early in the morning and do childlike activities. After getting dressed for the day, I went to my activities then my meeting.

"- Congratulations on your sixtieth day of being sober Denise." Denise was handed a 60 Day Sober chip. Denise Katherine Matthews, other known as Vanity is here. I never thought I'd be in rehab with my favorite singers ex girlfriend.

"Thank you." Vanity took her chip and sat down.

"Anybody else want to come up here and share their journey?" Jasmine asked. Jasmine is the counselor for my group.

I raised my hand. "I would like to share." I said putting all four of my chair legs flat on the floor. This is my first time speaking.

"Come on up." Jasmine motioned.

I walked up to the podium. "Umm, first I'd like to say congratulations on everyone to however many day's that you have been sober. It's not an easy task and everyday is a struggle. Many of you, like me never thought you'd be sitting in rehab but here we are. We are all trying to bypass the same things."

I took a deep breath. "My name is Donald DeGrate Junior and some of you may know me by my stage name DeVanté Swing. My parents always talked to my brother and I about drugs and what they would do to you. Me being the curious person I was and trying to fit in, I tried cocaine for the first time as a child. Yes, I hated it and never did it again knowingly.

"Then I got older and my career took off. Drinking, smoking, partying and drugs are normalized in the industry. I eventually succumbed to it. My addiction started two years ago, back in '93. I was badly beaten, and robbed in my home on my brother's birthday. my skull was cracked open. In the hospital the doctors gave me oxycodone to deal with the pain and I then became reliant on them. They gave me this feeling that I could never be touched like that again. Then I added another prescription to my daily dose.

"My behavior got even more worse. I- I messed a lot of relationships up because of my dependency on the prescriptions. I've ruined friendships, romantic relationships, family relationships, and even the relationship I had with myself. I've even had someone in the beginning to attempt to help me but I lashed out on her. I've lied on her just to make people think I wasn't an addict. I even lied on this women to convince myself that I wasn't an addict. I couldn't ruined this person's career because of my lies.

"I had to look my parents in their faces and see disappointment written all over it. My father even blamed himself for my wrongdoings. In all actuality, it was me all along. What made me want to change is me almost dying. Can you believe that? It took me almost dying to become a drug addict and it took me almost dying to want to recover. I almost died because of my habits. I relapsed the day I got back home, but yet here I am sober again. Sixty-five days sober to be exact.

"My girlfriend died the same day I was found to be in cardiac arrest. Her and her unborn child. I never knew she was an addict until her death. I told myself that I don't want to end up like her. God gave me another chance at life, a third chance at life. I'm going to take advantage of his blessing and turn my life around. I want to have a future with my own children and wife. God has given me another chance at everything. I also have to be a role model for my younger siblings, especially my baby brother.

"A wise person once said: As humans, we often try to rush into tasks or accomplish goals in a short amount of time, but this approach doesn’t work with addiction recovery. Successfully recovering from addiction requires you to take it one step at a time. A little bit everyday goes a long way. You have made it thus far, so why not go even further on your journey?

"Now I don't know who that wise person is that said it but-" I laughed right along with everybody else. "But I hung the plaque up in my bathroom and whenever I feel discouraged I read that, the bible, and think about my family. It's very helpful. You made it De!" I said the last part more to myself. "Congratulations on being sixty-five days sober!" I held up my Sixty Day Sober chip. Everybody clapped. "Thank you." I walked away from the podium and sat back down in my seat. I'm on the other side of addiction, the sober side.

Author's Note: This man is on the road to recovery! Congratulations! Hopefully he keeps this up. It takes an honest and changed person to admit their wrongdoings out loud to a room full of people. He did it! The sixty-fifth chapter and his sixty-fifth day of being sober. This is BY FAR the LONGEST chapter I've posted. Did you listen to the song? I can't relate but I got into listening to Macklemore in elementary school and dug deeper into his music. I couldn't relate to his addiction but the words he rap in the majority of his music can get to a person.

Word Count: 6,300

Please feel free to like and comment. Feedback gives motivation, and motivation urges me to continue to write.

Thank you all for taking the time out of your day to read another chapter of this story. Thank you for staying despite the slacking.💚🖤❤💜💙💛