Please excuse ANY grammatical errors.

February 4, 1993

Tia's P.O.V

I've been out of the hospital for about a little over a week now, with the exception of going to breathing therapy. Actually, I'm just coming from breathing therapy. They say breathing therapy has many uses like improvement on physical, mental, and spiritual help. I've improved in one area and that's physical. The things that have occurred in my life still haunts me in real life and in my dreams.

Sometimes I can't decipher my dreams fron reality, especially since my dreams/nightmares were once my reality. Sleep was one of the three things that I did to run away from everything. All I had was my dreams, but now I can't even do that in peace majority of the times. Elijah has been here accompanying me along the way. I don't really feel comfortable living alone right now being that they still haven't caught the two men that put me in the hospital. Apparently "they're still matching samples," and I don't believe that one bit.

"Girl, this Atlanta weather is as bipolar ass hell. 'Cept Gary is colda."

"Yeah," I replied to him only halfway listening.

"Okay... What's been up with you lately?" He turned to me.

"Nothing..." I shrugged.

"Sure, we gon' get to the bottom of this one of these day. I know not today, with yo stubborn ass." He laughed. "I do got some news though." His eyebrows jumped up and down.

"Boy, what?" My eyes shifted from the road. No, my voice wasn't hostile, it was a playful tone.

"I decided that I'll stay. It's beneficial for both of us, with you being my biggest supporter and me being here to keep you company." He beamed.

"Yeah, you were always the one talking about having your friends as roommates. You, me, and ol' girl." I chuckled.

"Yeah... Ol' girl." He chuckled shaking his head.

We don't speak of her because of what she did. She broke girl code and dated the only person I've dated. All three of us used to be tight but Elijah and I were tighter. Ol' girl had her own set of friends, those friends were troubled and VERY messy. I mean, I'm not mad anymore, it was years ago, but that trust I once had for her is GONE.

"While you was in therapy, I enrolled in the same community college as you." He smiled.

"Really?" I raised my eyebrows.

After the incident, I transferred out of my previous college and enrolled in a community college. It wasn't entirely up to me. My brother told me and I quote, "You know you ain't goin' back to that school right?" I didn't really want to go back though, him saying that is what really made me leave. Truth is, if I were to go back, I would have been more paranoid. Plus, the community college is much closer to my house.

"Girl, yeah. I realized that being here made me realize what I was missin'. I love my hometown but guuurrrrlll... Ain't shit to do there!" He laughed.

"I agree with you, as much as I LOVE home, it's boring. You know that I ALWAYS said I'd leave when I got the chance to, so when that chance came, I boompt. Hey, what classes did you get?"

"So, don't be mad, but I kinda took your schedule and asked politely-" I looked at him sideways knowing that he was lying. "Okay! I demanded but still politely that I get those classes. I got my wish but one class is a different hour than yours." He told me.

"I'm not angry, you're good. What class is it?" I asked him.

"English."

"Wew, I thought it'd be math. That is one of the classes we can lean on each other with. Lord knows we need it." I chuckled.

"Amen to THAT!" He clapped out.

"Mm-mmm!" I held my hand up like the church ladies in the front row at church.

"Sis, why you got all this money and drivin' a putt putt? I been wanting to ask you this since I saw it." He asked me.

"It works, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, but this lil shit is like... No ma'am! You too fiioonne to be in this, sis!" He expressed with his hands.

"I'm working towards my dream truck. I can actually get it, but I think I'll wait until the spring or summer to get it." I shrugged turning in to my drive thru.

"When you do, what you doin' with this putt putt?" He asked me. "You know that I'm still here, and you can pass it on down to me." He said as I killed the engine.

"You just said that I was too fioonnee for this putt putt, and now you want it?" I raised an eyebrow and got out of my car.

"Hey, it works right?" He said closing his door and shrugged.

"Touché." I pointed to him. We took off our winter stuff and put it where it belonged.

I waved at Bull, and Big Redd. They parked right behind me. I have more guards and they switch shifts throughout the day to look out for me. I turned the lock with my key and entered, Eej right behind me. Eej is a nickname I gave Elijah a while back.

"I'll cook tonight." Elijah sang out as I closed and locked the door. I then put the security stick on my handle.

"Boy, don't you EVER fix your mouth with those words again. YOU, ELIJAH KING CANNOT COOK. Your oodles of noodles be coming out like mashed potatoes, and pizza rolls like a brick house. No sir!" I said smoothly turning around amd went to the couch to sit.

"Girl, don't play me. I can cook! You had my salad before." He looked at me with his lips perked.

I smacked my lips at him. "It was good, but it was premade. All you had to do was wash the lettuce." I laughed.

"But my ass is fatter." He threw out having nothing else to say. He bounced his butt.

"Pshhh, yeah okay..." I playfully rolled my eyes. I stood up and jumped so it could jiggle. "All this booty, I think ya girl might tip over!" I said pretending like I was about to fall back.

"Guurrrrllll... So, what about yo man?" He asked me.

"Man..." I shooed him off. "Boy I'm single anf I'd like for it to stay that way for a while. You KNOW that. Who're you speaking about?" I plopped down on the couch looking through my mail.

"Fine ass DeVanté. You know who I'm talking about." He sat down next to me and turned on the television.

"No, we're just friends and not to be shady but he's for everybody." I shrugged. "That's the boy though. He's always there for a sista and he's nice... to me." I laughed at the last part. "He is more than I can express in words."

"Mmm." He puckered his lips and rolled his eyes at me. "The way you sayin' that last part coulda fooled me. For everybody, you say?" He raised his eyebrow.

"Pretty much." I shrugged.

"How so?" He turned the television off and and turned his whole body to me.

"Well... There are a million and one. You know how these industry dudes are."

"Don't I. A bunch of hoes is what they is." He shook his head. "But, I sholl wouldn't mind being with one. Not one of the hoes of course. Shit, I ain't tryna catch shit. Most of them runnin' around here with them bum-bumps. Not around here."

"I didn't even think about all of that. Many of these people are being recycled around the industry, a lot of notches under their belts..." I eyed him.

"AND COUNTING!" We both said at the same time and bursted out laughing.

"I know that's right!" He high- fived me. "I'm sorry, sis. My bad."

"You're fine." I high- fived him. "I still got on my gloves."

"Right. Speaking on that, when are you goin' to therapy?"

"I don't know. I don't really be having the time to." I shrugged opening up a bill.

"You don't have time? You don't have time to deal with your mental health?"

I looked up at him. "No, I'm always on busy mode. I have minimum time to myself."

"What about right now? You ain't doing nothing." He reasoned.

"I am. You see me reading bills, and I'm working on moving to a bigger spot." I laughed.

"I'm being for real. You need to deal handle that. Especially with what just happened a to you a little while ago."

I rolled my eyes. "Ahhh, don't remind me." I waved him off.

"Don't wave me off. You been saying that you needed it since we were sophomores in high school. You have the means to do it now, so do it. Make time. We talkin' about your well-being. Tia, stop throwin' it off. Mental health comes first. Ain't that what you told me?"

"Yes, I did." I mumbled

"Then, why you not takin' your own advice?"

"I am, it's just that now is not the time. I'm a busy women, Eej."

"I understand that, but you can never be TOO busy to deal with YOU. You doing everything else but."

"Eej, I will when I have the time to. Please, drop the subject."

"Not until you promise you will do it. You keep saying you have to deal with yourself before you let anyone in romantically, but you still have yet to do so. Get it togetha sis." He snapped his fingers.

"I will. Now, can you please drop the subject?" I turned my head to the side.

"Okay... I'll find a good therapist and make it my business to make you an appointment. I know your school schedule." He said getting up and turned on the radio. Romantic Call by Patra featuring Yo-Yo came on.

"Okay!" I stood up and yelled out. "My property is MY PROPERTY."

"Uhhnnn, okay sis. Get it!" He said hyping me up while I whined my hips to the beat.

I can't dance worth crap but I can shake and whine my behind and hips. Eej joined in, this boy can really dance! He always could dance, and would learn every new dance. He tried to teach me, but we were always in school, and Tia is not the type of person to do things in front of a bunch of people.

"I want him laid back. Drivin' in his cadi. Dressed in his khaki. Hangin' with the dogs on sixth ave. Extra extra sexy. Want him marlin with butter. Only I can flaunt him. Dat's right, I'm top gunnin'. Gotta be sensual with the skin. Essential on the end or should I say never hit again. I'm like the cain I take up up to eighty people like crazy. Just don't play me and make me your baby." We rapped together in sync, flaring our arms and hands like we were real rappers.

"Pac was real flirty with Patra, but with Yo-Yo." Eej laughed out.

"That's Tupac for you." I shook my head and started back whining my hips.

A little while later the song ended. Sir Mix-a-Lot's, Baby Got Back came on next and we twerked to it. Being each other's hype person. It was a burnt CD which is the reason for everything coming on randomly. Arrested Development's, Everyday people came on.

"Girl, what the fuck is this? We having a twerk session and this come on. No ma'am." He said about to turn.

I stopped him. "We finna listen to this. This song is dope!"

"Okay, girl. Imma sit this one out." He said and took a seat. "Imma wait to some more hype music come on."

I shrugged at him and started rapping. "Their egos wanna test a brother's manhood.
So they came to test Speech cause of my hair-do
And the loud bright colors that I wear
I was a target cause I'm a fashion misfit
And the outfit that I'm wearing brothers dissing it
Well I stay calm and pray the niggas leave me be
But they're squeezing parts of my date's anatomy
Why, Lord, do brothers have to drill me?
Cause if I start to hit this man he'll have to kill me."

"AND IIIIII AM EVERYDAY PEOPLE!" He sang aloud. I looked at him.

"You 'a sit this one out, huh?" I shook my head and continued to rap.

"That was it, I'm done with this song." He waved his hand at me. We listened to the whole CD and was through.

My eyes widened. "Did you take out the chicken?" I asked him.

He gasped. "Oh my gosh, girl I forgot to."

"Well, fish it is." I shrugged and headed to my kitchen to take that out. Fish doesn't take long at all to thaw out.

"That's cool." He said following me and took a seat at the small island. I put the fish in the sink, took my gloves off and washed my hands.

I turned around, away from the sink. "Can you help me pack?"

"Duhh... What room today?" He asked me.

"Luckily, there ain't much to pack. We can do the closet in the living room." I told him.

There really isn't much to pack besides my room closet. I have a bunch of clothes from shopping while away. I moved here, but didn't spend much time here. I was always away for filming, and other times I was just away. I grabbed a box, opened the closet, and sat down on the floor. As soon as I sat down the telephone rang.

"Can you get that?" I asked Eej.

"Yeah, I got it." He dragged himself to the phone. "Hello?"

"Who is it?" I asked him.

"Yo man." He said aloud.

"Once again, THAT man is not mines." I laughed and stood up.

"Your girlfriend is about to grab the phone." Eej said into the phone and sat it down.

"Eej!" I yelled out at him and grabbed the telephone.

"Y'all ain't togetha now, but who say that I can't practice for the future?" He wiggled his eyebrows.

I smacked my lips amd put the phone up to my ear. "What you smackin' yo lips fuh? You mad I called?" Donald asked me.

"No, not at all. I was doing that towards Eej." I said to him. The last time Donald was here he was here it was when we snuck out. He stayed here for four days, and left due to the people he had under his label.

"This man said he practicin'." Donald laughed. "What you talkin' about you being my girl?" He asked.

"Yeah..." I sighed putting my hand in my pocket.

"What you too good fuh a nigga?"

"Boy..." I laughed out. "No, of course not. He just plays a lot."

"I see, like yourself, right?" He asked.

"Like myself, yes. How's it going?" I asked him.

"You ALWAYS trying to change the subject. I'm doin' good though. I donated to a orphanage in North Carolina." He said to me. Yes, you have that right. Donald Earle DeGrate Junior lost the bet. He had one vote to my four. I won fair and square.

"Awww..." I interjected. "That is so nice."

"Yo, shut yo ass up." He said laughing.

"No, that was so sweet that you wen through it." I said in a baby voice.

"Yeah, I know. A bets a bet. How you doin'?" He asked me.

"Looka you. Who's trying to change the subject now?" I raised my eyebrow.

"I ain't. You just embarrassing."

"Nobody hears but you and me. What are you embarrassed about?" I chuckled.

"AND ME!" Eej yelled out loud enough that Donald heard.

"See!" Donald exclaimed.

"Who he gon' tell?"

"Ion know, but seriously. How you doin'? You doin' better?" Donald asked me.

"I am." I nodded.

"I am." He mocked me in a feminine voice.

"I don't sound anything like that!" I gasped.

"You sound everything like that."

"DeVanté!" I heard a manly voice in the background yell out.

"Hold on." He told me. "Yeah?" He said to the person. I heard some incoherent words. "Aye, Tia I gotta go. I just called you since I ain't in a while and to see how you was doin'. A'ight, let me go."

"See ya, love ya." I said then hung up. I heard him about to say something else but I had already hung up. Oh well, we'll talk another time.

"That's yo man callin' to check up on you. How sweet. You even said you love him." Eej beamed.

I didn't acknowledge him calling Donald my man. "Yeah, I said he's a sweet guy. He really shows that he cares, and the last thing I always say is I love you to someone." I smiled. "You taught me that, remember?"

"I did. I know that smile. My girl is in LOVE."

"In love? Nahh, he's cool." I shrugged and sat down on the floor next to him. He stared at me with a smile. "What!?" I asked.

"Nothin'..." He shrugged. "Okay, you might not be in love, but you are in LIKE with his fioone ass." Eej put some more things in the box.

"He is a nice looking guy. No doubt about that, but you know what I said earlier." I pointed out.

"HE'S FOR EVERYBODY..." Eej rolled his eyes.

"Not only that, but how am I supposed to believe EVERYTHING someone tells me? He's a beautiful human being inside and out, but I don't know how that man is in relationships. You can't be everything you hear. I learned that the hard way. You know me..." I stopped and eyed him.

"That man ain't yo family. He's better than them other people in yo family. That man came to visit you in the hospital. I met him, and he seems genuine." By family, Elijah means my aunts, uncles, and cousins.

"He did and I'm very thankful of that. I even showed him that I was. I know that he isn't my family. He cares more than they do. It's just..." I sighed.

"You got trust issues and that's fine because we all do in some way. You also scared to let somebody and especially romantically. You even be pushing me away. Ion know if you notice but you do. I love you sis, and I ain't goin' nowhere. I know you heard it a thousands times from others but I ain't sis."

My eyes watered. "I know, I'm sor- I'm sorry. It's just..."

He pulled me in for a hug. "It's okay sis." He hugged me as I cried.

Elijah is a very important factor in my life. I was at my lowest, and he came along. He was always the person I spoke to. I'm also a person who shows affection physically with hugs and whatnot. My brother and I don't even hug, and we only got into a deep conversation a few times and it wasn't that deep. I've told Elijah details on things, things I refuse to tell my brother and I really can't find the courage to.

Elijah and I lean on each other for comfort. We're each other's shoulders. He's knows things about me that nobody else does and vice versa. Its even rare for me to cry in front of my mother and brother. When I feel it coming, I hold it in with every part of my body. I mask it so well. With Elijah, we're more open.

"I love you more." I croaked out through tears.

February 5, 1993

~Joel "JoJo" Hailey's P.O.V~

"Tiny, I got something to tell you." I said turning off the TV and turning on the lamp beside us.

"What is it baby?" She turned around to face me in my lap.

"I- You know I love you right?" I started.

She squinted at me and stood up. "Joe, what did you do?" She said in a worried tone. She knew from my tone of voice that it'd be a serious topic.

"I- I fucked up BAD. I'm sorry Tiny." I stood up and walked to her.

"What the fuck is it Joe? Tell me." She demanded.

"I- I uhh... I have two kids." I finally said. I been holding that in for more than a year.

She laughed at me. "Duhh, we have two kids together Joe. You play too much." She pushed my shoulder. "Had my heart beating fast and shit." She said about to take a seat.

"No, I mean I have two other kids." I said lowly.

"Wait a min- repeat that." She said standing up all the way.

"I said, I have two more kids." I sighed.

She looked at me like I had two heads. "When?" She asked with her arms folded.

"Last year." I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"And you JUST now tellin' me this?" She said in a calm demeanor.

"Yes and I'm sor-" si started but she cut me off.

"I can't believe you did this to me- to us!" Tiny yelled out in full blown tears. "How could you?" She said continuously tapping my forehead with her index finger.

I closed my eyes. "I love you, Tiny. And you know that. It's just that I messed up, okay?"

"You have a helleva way of showing me! Two kids Joe, TWO. You even waited until they was born to tell me!" She tapped me harder then turned around. "We done." I saw her exhale.

"Done with what?" I walked up behind her.

"DONE WITH THIS FUCKING RELATIONSHIP! THATS WHAT THE FUCK I'M DONE WITH!" She turned around and looked like a mad women.

"Baby, I said I was sorry!" I put my hands out.

"Sorry my fat ass! How many sorry's yo fat ass gon' be!? Huh?"

"I am baby. I'm so sorry. Forgive me?"

"This nigga want me to forgive him." She looked up at the ceiling. I'm assuming she's talking to God. "When last year?" She asked me.

"One was born in August and the other in May." I told her.

"How long did you know this?" She asked.

"Since they found out they was pregnant." I said.

She looked back up at the ceiling, her arms still crossed. "This nigga said they, you hear that?" She said aloud and looked back down at me. "Who are they?"

"Does that matter?" I asked.

"Does it matter? YES, IT FUCKIN' MATTERS! FUCK YOU THINK NIGGA? Tell me." She finished of calmly.

"One's name is Bailey and the other girl name is Bruschetta."

"Bruschetta? This bitch is named after a fucking food dish. And is this the Bailey that you worked with before?" Her head turned to the side.

"Yea-"

"All I need." She walked to my bedroom where the kids were asleep and began packing up.

"What you doin'?" I frowned.

"NIGGA, DID YOU JUST HEAR WHAT I FUCKIN' SAID? WE DONE! D-O-N-E!" She screamed scaring the kids out of their sleep. They both woke up crying.

"You woke up the kids." I said sitting down on the bed and grabbed them both cradling them.

"Good, we finna go anyways!" She said in a snarky tone. Rhen she continued to pack up all her shit.

"You not goin' nowhere baby." I said rocking my daughter Joelle.

"Tuhh." She stood up, grabbed my suitcase full of her things, and walked up to me. She picked up Junior calming him down. "Give me my daughter." She demanded me.

"Baby, you not goin' for real is you?" I said with my heart rate accelerating.

"Watch me walk. Now, hand me my child." She said putting Junior on his two feet, he was more calm.

"Baby, they don't need to see us like this." I pleaded.

She grabbed Joelle from my arms and began walking. "Come on Junior. Follow mommy." She said to him.

"I wanna stay mommy." Junior pouted at her.

"Junior come on." She said impatiently.

"No, mommy. I wanna stay with daddy." He said and I picked him up.

"He wants to stay and he want you to stay to. For the kid?" I asked.

"That's not working with me this time Joe. Now, I said come on Junior!" She raised her voice. "You don't tell me no." She frowned. He wiggled down my arms. "Tell yo daddy bye." She ordered.

"Bye daddy. I love you." He waved crying.

"Bye lil man. Daddy loves you, all three of y'all." Is said to him. "At least let me help you to yo car." I said picking Junior back up.

"Yeah, but walk behind me, because if I see you..." She trailed off.

We were now back in the living room. "Baby, I'm sorry."

"Stop calling me baby! You got four!" She said putting Joelle down. She turned to me and smacked me with my son right in my arms. Her face was stained with tears.

I put Junior down and when I came back up she started hitting me more. Punching, slapping, and kicking. I blocked her as much as possible. "The kids don't need to see this shit!" I yelled out over the loud hit, still trying to block them all.

"Fuck you. FUCK YOU. Fuck you! FUCK YOU!" She yelled at me over and over again. Her words was in sync with her hits.

I didn't even hear the door open I was too busy trying to block her hits and hearing the kids cry. "You probably still sleeping with them bitches too, ain't you!?"

"Mommy!" Joelle screeched out between cries.

"Yo, what the hell is goin' on?" K-Ci yelled out and the hits stopped.

I looked up to see Dalvin, De, and K-Ci here. Dalvin held on to Tiny anf2 De had both of the kids in each arm. "Fuck you beating on ym brother fuhh!?" K-Ci yelled at Tiny.

"It's my fault brehh." I said holding my stomach. She aimed mostly at my gut and face.

"You cheating mothafu-" she attempted to hit me again.

"Yo, the kids don't need to see or hear all this." De spoke up.

"You don't do this sh- crap in front of yo kids. What's wrong with you, Tiny?" Dalvin told her.

"Fuck him!" She yelled out. "I was there for you through it all. All the fucking cheating you did, and I kept going back to yo ass. Just for you to do it again and come out with some fucking kids!? Nahh, I ain't havin' that!" She pointed at me. "Let me go." She turned to Dalvin.

"You gon' hit him again?" Dalvin asked her.

"No, I won't. Now, let me go." She said and Dalvin let her go.

De interjected. "No, Dalvin don't-"

She ran right up to me and kicked me in the groin HARD. "There, have some mo' fuckin' kids!" She said about to hit me again but Dalvin grabbed her and walked out the front door. I fell to my knees in pain. I really wanted to cry now.

De shook his head at me. "I been told you to sat somethin'." He said and walked out the door with my kids in his arms.

"Bye, daddy!" Joelle yelled out to me.

"I love you!" Junior waved at me sucking the snot that dripped frim under his nose.

"Let me at least kiss my kids bye." I said to De, getting up from the floor holding myself.

He stopped and turned around. I grabbed Joelle and told her that I loved her and I'll see her again. Then grabbed Junior and did the same thing. I put him back down and he hugged my leg, he wiped his nose on my pants leg.

"Come on lil man, we gotta go." De said and I forced him from my leg and De picked him back up.

"BYE DADDY!" Junior yelled to me from down the hall. He was still crying. His nose was running again as he slurped it from his nose.

"I love y'all." I yelled out.

I went back in the house and went straight to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle. I went back to the living room and plopped down on the couch. I shook my head, taking a swig of the hard liquor.

"Aye, brehh. Don't worry 'bout it. She 'a be back. She always come back." K-Ci said from across me.

"Nahh, ion think she will this time. I fucked up bad." I threw my head back took another gulp.

"So, y'all wasn't gon' close the door?" Dalvin asked walking in. De was right behind him. De closed the door and locked it.

"Yo, this ain't the way brehh." De said grabbing the bottle.

"This the only way I know." I reached for it, but he moved his hand that held it back.

"Nahh, remember that this shit run in y'all family." De said shaking his head at me.

"I don't care man. Give me back my shit!" I yelled and stood up.

"Sit yo ass down!" K-Ci pushed me back down. "Nigga, you gon' listen." K-Ci pointed at me.

"Man, this is just one of the many consequences you gon' face from doin' people wrong over and over again. You keep up with this shit and the consequences gon' get worse." De said coming back into the room without the liquor bottle.

"I may not see my kids again." I said with my face in my hands.

"You gon' see them again. Maybe not soon, but you will. Give her some time. You gotta realize that you the one that fucked up." Dalvin said to me.

"You doin' the same shit. Ion see none of this shit happening to you. You and K-Ci." I said to Dalvin.

"The difference is ion got not kids, you do. Be responsible man." Dalvin told me.

There was a knock at the door. "Damn, that was fast!" De said getting up. He opened the door and it was a delivery man. It was shit ton of food. "Thanks." De paid the man, nodded and closed the door. "This probably a bitch ass move. It's more healthy than what you was 'bout to do. I ordered while I was outside. Eat up, nigga." De laughed sitting the food down.

K-Ci fot the game console out and hooked it up. "K-Ci finna beat some ass! Who bettin'?" He said grabbing the controller.

I grabbed the other one. "Fuck a bet, we playing for shit." I told him.

"That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!" Dalvin yelled grabbing some food.

We sat there all day eating, playing the game, and smokin' blunts. The fellas always there for each other through hard times. I just still feel bad for cheating on Tiny time and time again, it's absurd. I'm just a dumb ass nigga for that shit, but like they said this shit'll pass.

Word Count: 5,240

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