THE PRESENT

Shivering in one of Helina's Gore-Tex rain jackets, Liv trudged along a wide trail under a canopy of ancient evergreens, towering like apex predators over the lower life forms comprising the forest floor. This must be what it's like to be a visitor on another planet, she thought. Everything felt strange, but she was the one who was an alien here, a peculiar creature at the mercy of older, wiser beings.

Jumping at a loud knock coming from a nearby tree, Liv nearly stumbled into Graham. "What's that?" she asked, wondering if he had heard the same sound or if this was one of those moments where her reality and the reality of normal people parted ways.

"Look," he answered, a tight smile on his upturned face.

Following his gaze, she had just enough time to track the black outline of a bird with a red crest before it flapped its wings and flew higher into the tree and out of their line of sight.

"Was that a woodpecker?"

"Pileated. It's not the only one." He stood with his feet shoulder width apart, like he was about to launch into sun salutation. "I mean it, this place is life changing. Listen."

This was the kind of command Liv would usually scoff at and then do the opposite of. But she couldn't bring herself to reject the wishes of this poor, beautiful man. He so desperately clung to hope, something she was bound to mess up for him sooner or later. The least she could do was perform a bit of harmless compliance.

Closing her eyes, she let the forest symphony play out in sound and sensation. Mist, falling in such tiny, gentle drops, they were nearly imperceptible as they landed on leaves and logs and humans. Swaying branches rustling needles. Distant tap tap taps from a network of pileated woodpeckers drilling into tree trunks with mechanical precision. Despite herself, she took a deep breath of pristine air.

"Damnit," she finally said.

"What is it?"

She opened her eyes. "You win. This place is fucking glorious."

"It is, and I'm glad we came, but..."

He didn't have to fill in the rest. There'd been no sign of Helina. The ranger at the gate into the national park confirmed to them that no abandoned cars had been found in the area since Helina had gone missing. It was as Liv expected—a beautiful place with no new insights.

"We've come a long way for nothing, haven't we?" The dejection in his voice made Liv want to tear through her armadillo skin and release a sob.

"Not for nothing. It's nice to feel...something for a change. This place makes me feel." She ran her hand across the velvety moss carpet encircling a tree trunk, then pulled it away. "I don't know if I like it."

"Peel back that armor, Liv," he said, taking her moss-touched hand and leading her further down the trail. "I'd love to see what's under it."

His face lit up red despite the cold. "I mean... I didn't mean..."

Liv let him squirm a while before squeezing his hand. "Whatever you mean, it's fine with me."

His cheeks remained flushed, but at least he'd lost the haunted look he'd carried into the forest with him. Perhaps this place's primordial vibe would prove therapeutic for him as well as for her.

"I've gotta pee," he said.

"What?" She looked around, but there was no bathroom, not even an outhouse. "Where?"

"Don't worry. I'll go off trail a bit in case any other hikers wander by." He launched himself between two ferns. "Be right back."

Liv found herself alone then, the sort of alone a person felt when they contemplated the inevitability of their own death. With Graham out of sight, she might as well be the last person on this alien planet, or maybe the first person in her very own plane of existence.

There's no one here to blame me except for myself, she thought.

Tap, tap, tap. A woodpecker working for its meal somewhere up ahead. Graham would want her to stay put so they weren't accidentally separated, but something told her she should find this bird. He'd be right behind her. She wouldn't go far.

As she walked, the pecking sounds didn't grow any louder. It was as if the bird kept flying to a tree a bit further each time she tried to close the distance. She carried on, wanting to see this woodpecker even though she'd never before in her life cared about birds beyond the garden variety hope that humanity didn't kill them all.

Tap. Peck, peck.

Closer. Coming from her left now. Off trail, but not too far.

"I'm leaving the path," she said in an inside voice, a voice someone might hear if they were next to her, not several hundred feet away. It seemed sufficient, though. She'd told him. He couldn't get angry with her.

One foot off the trail and she remembered another day spent outside in another sort of forest, one where the trees were made of metal, their branches twirling blades. She'd been drawn to a turbine, its gravitational field making her body vibrate in ways that were unpleasant but also addicting.

And here she was again. She had this warning—this memory. She had experience and research and none of it mattered. She lifted her next foot off the trail.

The rainy day darkened. A storm cloud appeared, out of place and just as Liv expected.

"Haven't you taken enough from me?" She had to ask even though the answer to this question was always no. More could be chipped away from her. She could become a hollow shell. Ocean waves could echo through her, and it would never be enough for them, despite what she'd done to appease them.

The cloud spiraled around her like a slow-moving tornado. She imagined being sucked up into it like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, but there was no Emerald City awaiting her, only horrors she wasn't ready to confront.

"What do you want then?" she asked it, like her sister once had.

The forest shifted. She stood in it but also stood in a dream, a place of wild imaginings. There, spectral shadows glided in and out of Liv's view. When they grew close enough, she could make out distinguishing features. An elongated earlobe, a wrinkled hand, a blackened eye. Mostly, they ignored Liv, but every now and then, one would turn in her direction, and with mouth agape, they'd scream before running away. A monster—that's what she was to them. An alien. A ghost. Someone who didn't belong and caused grief to anyone who noted her presence.

This world held the same vastness of the forest, but it wasn't one she wished to explore. She stood still, fearing a single step might take her miles from where she wanted to be.

"Take me back if you won't talk to me," she said, her voice small and tinny in this place where human speech didn't belong.

Take him. Finally, they'd spoken.

"Take... Graham? Take him where?"

No response, only the roar of waves lambasting a rocky shore.

"Really?" Liv tightened the hood of her jacket so the ocean breeze wouldn't blow it off her head. Helina's folded seashore drawing, tucked into a zippered inner pocket, warmed against her stomach like it had been lit on fire. "I fucking hate you for this."

"Hate me for what?"

Shocked to hear a human voice other than her own, she lost balance, this time unable to correct her weight before stumbling over a tree root and into Graham.

"Jesus Christ, Liv." He steadied her, keeping a hand on her arm until she could stand on her own. "I was about to head back to the ranger station and call for a search party. Where have you been?"

"That's a tad dramatic, don't you think? We've only been separated, what... five minutes? Okay, maybe ten."

"Ten minutes?" He placed a hand on either side of her face and looked into her eyes. Remnants of warmth from Helina's drawing faded until the only heat she could feel was where his skin touched hers.

He brushed one hand up to her forehead. "Are you okay? You don't feel feverish."

"I'm fine."

"You aren't fine." Those sorrowful eyes. They might haunt Liv more than anything.

"Look around you."

Blinking, she broke away from his grasp and squinted at the darkening terrain.

Oh no.

"It hasn't been ten minutes, Liv. I've been searching for you for over two hours. Including the spot where I just found you. So, let me ask you again. Where the fuck have you been?"